Disclaimer - I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters represented in this story.

flashbacks

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Duo sighed, slumping down in his recliner as he browsed through television stations. He felt so bored, and so lonely. The war had finally ended. Since then, all the gundam pilots had separated, and there was nothing to do.

He glanced at the picture on his coffee tabel and smiled a bit. It was a photo of the five of them, taken the day before the huge final battle that changed everything. Heero was on the far left, arms crossed and (as usual) no expression on his face. Trowa stood next to him, an amused look shining in his visible green eye. In the middle was Wufei, who was hollering because right as the picture was snapped Duo had jumped onto his back, draping his arms around the others neck, the biggest grin on his face. Quatre, who was on the far right, was mid-laugh at the spectacle beside him.

Duo had insisted that they take the picture. He told them all that since they'd "been together for so long he wanted at least one picture just in case". Just in case... His smile quickly saddened. He felt that he had jinxed them when he said that. He shouldn't blame himself, but now...Wufei was gone...

Reaching out, he ran a finger down the photographed cheek of the Chinese boy. He regretted the last few moments they had spent alone together. Not because of the time they spent, and what happened, of course, but because of what he didn't do. He should've...He should have just told Wufei how he felt. He hadn't because he had been afraid that Wufei would have rejected and berated him.

Now, he would never know.

Snarling, Wufei yanked Duo into his bedroom by the collar of his priest shirt. Chuckling nervously, Duo raised his hands up and shrugged as he stood upright.

"Why so angry, Wu?" he asked innocently.

"That picture, Maxwell!" Wufei shouted. "You want a picture and then you attack me?!"

"Hey hey, I was having fun! I bet it turned out cool!!"

Slowly, the anger in the Chinese began to subside. Saying nothing, he gestured to his bed as he walked across the room.

"Sit," he said simply.

Duo didn't move, his heart leaping into his throat. Clenching his fist so he wouldn't shake nervously, he walked over and sat at the edge of the large bed. After a moment, Wufei joined him, holding two cups. He offered one to Duo, who looked at him questioningly.

"Tea," he informed the American. Duo nodded and accepted the offer, wonder when Wufei was going to seep out of one-syllable sentences.

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Duo had butterflies in his stomach. Every moment they sat there, he wanted to tell Wufei how much he loved him. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to make love to him. His entire being yearned for it, but in his mind he kept telling himself no. Especially since he was speaking one-syllable sentences. That usually meant he was controlling a lot of anger. He could tell him everything once the damned war was over.

Wufei broke the silence as he uncharacteristically started laughing. Duo jumped, shocked. Chang Wufei never laughed. You were lucky if you got to see him smile.

"Wu-Wufei?" he studdered, still too shocked to use one of the many nicknames he'd come up with.

"Sorry," he breathed, rubbing his eyes. He'd laughed so hard he almost had tears. "I've just never seen you this quiet for this long, ever since I've known you."

Duo blinked and started laughing himself. That made Wufei begin to laugh again. So there the two of them sat, doubled over their tea cups, laughing hysterically.

"Ah Wu-man!" Duo giggled, smacking the other boy's knee. "You sure are something else!"

Wufei smiled, calming himself.

"You're one to talk, Maxwell."

"I'm never forgetting this. You may be composed, but always know, I saw you genuinely laugh."

He stood up and stretched.

"Thanks for the tea. It was great." He couldn't tell him. Not now. "I'm gonna go tune up Deathscythe for a bit."

He started to head for the door, breathing in the lovely scent of Wufei's room one last time for the evening.

"Duo..." Wufei said softly. Duo turned, shocked once again. No Maxwell? "Be safe tomorrow."

"No prob," he grinned. "I am the God of Death."

He winked , and Wufei chuckled.

"Yes, you sure are. Even still, don't let OZ get the best of you, Shinigami."

"Same to you, Dragon," Duo grinned. "Kick some ass, breathe some fire, and we'll go get some sake afterwards, how's that sound? To celebrate our wonderful victory."

"Sounds wonderful," he nodded. "After the war, then."

Duo nodded, waving at Wufei and leaving his room, looking forward to kicking some OZ ass and then getting a few drinks with the secret love of his life.

They had proceeded to win the battle, but that had been the last time he'd seen Wufei's face. After the battle was over and done with, Wufei left, without saying a word. Wherever he was now, if he was even alive now, he was ignoring everything Duo tried to did. He had emailed the boy countless times and had not once received a reply. Was Wufei even alive? How was he to know?

A beep from him computer made him jump out of the his chair and dart across the room. The yanked open the screen to a message: "You have one new message." His heart was leaping up in his throat as he double-clicked to open the message. The moment it opened, though, his heart sank. It was from Hilde... Sighing, he ignored it and went back to his recliner once again.

The girl had been calling and emailing him so many times since the war had ended. She was just worried about him, holing himself up in his apartment like he was, but he had no desire to be social. He had no desire to go anywhere. He just wanted Wufei back. He didn't have the heart to even act happy at the point.

Getting back up again, he got his laptop and clicked on "compose new message". He then began to type.

"Wufei, where are you? Why won't you reply to my messages? At least let me know you're alive!! You skipped out on me before we could go get our sake... Why did you leave Wufei? Please come home..."

A tear slipped down his cheek as he sent the short message. Setting his laptop aside, he buried his face in his hands, his body shaking, as he began to cry.

Four nights in a row now he had cried himself to sleep. And unfortunately, he didn't see that trend ending any time soon.