Prologue
"What's going on," I ask as I pass through the access door to the roof of the building. A policeman standing with his back to me turns quickly, surprised. He makes his way towards me. His expression is one of nervous concern. A bad feeling seeps through my body. "What's happening," I demand.
The policeman stammers, "Are you Yukimi Azuma?" I nod as my ominous feeling grows intensely. "Please, come with me," he requests. I follow his hurried footsteps around the edge of the doorway. Standing about thirty paces from the building's edge is another policeman. Her voice carries softly, like a mother to a crying child, to the person standing inches from the edge. The setting sun peeks out from behind the clouds.
I freeze in my tracks as my heart leaps into my throat. Hotaru! As if I had spoken his name aloud he turns away from the edge. Tears glisten in his almost black eyes. "Yukimi?" I nod. He sighs, "I'm glad you're here. I'm so tired of this place, Kimi."
"What do you mean, Taru," I choke out. I take slow steps towards the vulnerable boy.
His shoulders sag as if he bares the weight of the world on them, "I'm tired of living this life. I'm ready to die."
Tears spring to my eyes as I continue to make my way toward Hotaru. "Please, Taru, rethink this. For my sake," I plead, "Please? I love you and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."
A sad smile upturns the corners of his mouth. He leans back on his heels. His body begins to fall backwards off the edge as he states, "I love you too, Kimi." I scream and race to the edge looking over. I watch him continue to fall closing my eyes before the end….
Two Weeks Later
I stare at my ceiling listening to the silence and thinking. I think of Hotaru, of how he looked before he jumped. I think of his funeral and all the crying students from our school. The students that pretended to be his friends, our friends, but weren't there for him when he needed them most. But you were, a tiny voice in the back of my head whispers. "Yes, I was," I mumble, "But I couldn't save him either."
You should go through with your plan, the voice continues to whisper, We both know how broken and empty you are inside. You'll feel better. No more pain. No more sadness. You can even be with Hotaru again.
"I know," I whisper, "I'll do it." I sit up reaching for the knife. Its blade glints in the dim light of the moon from my window. My hands tremble as I rest the sharp edge of the knife against the soft skin of my forearm. Applying pressure I slide the blade down my arm toward the palm of my hand blood welling up around the blade and slipping over my arm and to the floor. I do the same thing with the other arm achieving the same results. Laying back again staring at my ceiling I feel the life begin to slip from my body then a feeling of falling. My mind empties of all thoughts and I welcome the darkness.