Author Notes: First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone, who celebrates the feast and happy winter holidays to everyone else!=)
This OS is a sequel to my Halloween fiction "Between two Worlds". So I suggest you reading this one first, so that my Christmas OS makes more sense to you.
My beta-reader, YenGirl, also called to my attention that I have to tell you that my "World" series is only canon up to 4th year. So, no kissing with Cho under the mistletoe for Harry.^^
Appreciation: Special thanks to YenGirl! She sacrificed her free time to beta this OS and I can`t couch how much that means to me. This OS wouldn`t be the same without her. Thank you, dear!*hugs*
Sharing a world
Trees covered in snow.
A frozen lake.
Smiling faces everywhere.
Floating candles in the air.
Twelve huge Christmas trees in the Great Hall.
Lovingly packed gifts.
And piles of tempting sweets.
Christmas Eve at Hogwarts was fantastic! Somehow, it was even better than Christmas morning, because everyone was still full of pleased anticipation.
Harry had always enjoyed this special evening ever since he came to Hogwarts. Most of the students went home for the holidays so the Gryffindor Common Room was almost empty. In fact, he, Ron and Hermione were the only Gryffindors who had stayed back this year, so the three of them had the whole dorm to themselves.
It was perfect… or it would have been if something – or someone – weren't missing.
Lying in his bed with Ron snoring a few feet away, Harry sighed to himself. He knew he should be happy and looking forward to morning and all the gifts that awaited him, but… he wasn't.
He closed his eyes and ignored his thoughts, but was unable to fall asleep. Each time he tried to relax, he saw a pair of resigned dark eyes watching him from the staff table as he left the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione after dinner.
Harry shook his head and turned onto his right side. He shouldn't think of Sev – Professor Snape. The Potions Master had ignored him since Halloween almost two months ago. He hadn't even given him any detention even though Harry had – for once – done his very best to get one.
It looked like an exploded cauldron, a spilled potion and a hex thrown at Malfoy weren't enough to earn a detention with Severus nowadays. And no, Harry wasn't disappointed that he hadn't been able to spend a few hours alone with the most hated teacher of Hogwarts. No, he really wasn't…
Shit, who did he want to fool?
Harry drew the covers closer and sighed. After Severus' confession at Halloween and the enjoyable evening they had spent together, he had thought that something would change between them, but nothing had… or had he missed something?
Harry turned onto his other side. Damn, why couldn't he have Hermione's brains for a while? She would have figured out what was wrong with Severus a long time ago.
Why didn't the man want to see him if he loved him?
The seconds ticked by and Harry groaned. He didn't know why Severus behaved like he did. He also didn't understand why the man kept his distance after confessing his feelings to him, but…
He would find out!
With a cheeky grin on his face, Harry changed his clothes and grabbed his invisibility cloak. It seemed like he had to haunt Severus even at Christmas.
OOO
Temperatures below the freezing point.
Sappy decorations.
False smiles.
Horrible songs of peace and happiness.
Much too expensive gifts for misbehaving children.
Sweets that looked and tasted as if their chief ingredient was sugar.
And much too little scotch to endure it all.
Severus hated Christmas Eve. His parents had stopped celebrating it when he was five years old because his father thought he didn't deserve anything other than a good beating.
Naturally, Severus had stayed back at Hogwarts during Christmas each year, but even then he learned to detest the celebration. The feast in the Great Hall and all the happy faces showed a certain amount of anticipation he couldn't share. He never expected anything for Christmas… and he never got anything.
Well, at least that had changed.
Severus laughed bitterly as he gazed at the huge bottle of Firewhiskey standing next to a basket filled with a variety of Wizarding sweets. Minerva and Albus got him something for Christmas every year. They also wanted him to attend the party in the staff room, but he always refused.
Really, why should he celebrate with his colleagues, when he couldn't stand the sight of most of them?
No, he would rather enjoy Minerva's Firewhiskey. Perhaps if he drank the whole bottle, he would even oversleep on Christmas morning.
Yes, that would be perfect!
Severus reached for the bottle. He didn't need something or someone else… not even a black haired young wizard with eyes as green as emeralds.
With a curse, he opened the bottle and filled his glass. Harry didn't need him!
Severus had seen him with his friends during dinner earlier. He had seen how the boy had laughed with them, his face free of sorrow.
And Harry should laugh like that. He deserved happiness after everything that had happened to him, and was probably still going to happen in the future.
Severus nodded to himself and took a mouthful of the strong drink. It burned its way down his throat and warmed his stomach, but didn't drive the bitter aftertaste of his thoughts away.
After Halloween, he had wanted to believe that Harry might be willing to be his light in the darkness… until he realized how selfish that was. The young Gryffindor was so pure and beautiful that someone as tainted as his Potions Master didn't deserve to be in his company.
Severus gulped down the contents of his glass and refilled it. The boy was probably still playing silly games with his friends, without sparing a single thought for him.
And that was as it should be. Harry didn't belong in the cold, dark dungeons and Severus didn't belong in the warm light of the outside world.
Everything was fine like this… and if his eyes were burning, it was because of the strong Firewhiskey and nothing else. He and Harry lived in two totally different worlds that were incompatible with each other.
Severus reached again for the glass, but paused when he heard a knock at the door. Frowning, he rose and went to greet his unexpected and unwelcome guest.
It was probably Albus who wanted to present him with some ridiculous item of clothing. The memory of the fuzzy pink socks the Headmaster gave him last year was still enough to make Severus shudder.
He wouldn't accept any gifts this year!
Opening the door, he was ready to reject any horrible present that might come his way, only to be left speechless as dark eyes met emerald ones.
OOO
Harry didn't know if it was such a good idea to go down to the dungeons in the middle of the night. Of course, he was safe from any Slytherin that might come his way since his invisibility cloak hid him from everyone. Not even the ghosts were able to see him now.
Besides, it wasn't as if he hadn't already done bolder things, like entering the Chamber of Secrets in his second year and setting Sirius Black free in his third.
Nonetheless, he grew more nervous with every step he took towards the direction of Severus' quarters. It was only when he stood in front of the huge door did he realize why he was feeling as if he would willingly meet with a basilisk to have a nice fight– he was afraid that Severus might reject him.
Harry gulped. He tried to make himself believe that Severus would never send him away, but failed. What if the Potions Master only told him that he had only confessed his feelings because he was drunk? Or what if he had somehow mistaken Harry for his mother?
But that didn't explain why Severus had let Harry have breakfast with him the next morning. Green eyes closed as their owner recalled the night of that fateful Halloween.
Severus had voiced his feelings for Harry aloud and that he feared Lily might not approve of them.
Severus had called Harry by his given name.
Severus had hugged him and cried.
Green eyes opened again, a determined look gleaming in them. The Potions Master couldn't have mistaken him for someone else the whole time and he now owed Harry an explanation on why he had been ignoring him since that night.
Taking off his cloak, Harry took another deep breath before knocking on the door. When it opened only a few seconds later, his eyes met the dark orbs that stared at him in utter disbelief.
OOO
Was he dreaming?
Severus blinked, but Harry Potter still stood in front of him. Next, he pinched himself, but Harry still stood there.
Finally, he looked over his shoulder at the bottle of Firewhiskey on the table. No, he hadn't drunk enough to have hallucinations.
He turned again to frown at the boy outside his door. He looked exactly like Harry, but Severus couldn't think of a single reason why the boy would come down to see him.
Polyjuice then.
"What is a bezoar?"
Green eyes blinked at him.
"Well? I'm waiting."
Harry grinned.
What?! Severus growled to himself. The damned boy or whoever he was dared to grin at him!
"A stone you can find in the stomach of a goat that's an antidote to many poisons… at least, you told me so in my first lesson, Severus."
All right. Severus had to accept the fact that it really was Harry standing in front of his quarters in the middle of the night. No one else talked to him like that… and the answer was correct as well.
Still, that didn't explain why Harry was here in the first place.
Perhaps the boy had a stomachache after gorging himself on sweets and Madame Pomfrey didn't have any medicine left?
Or perhaps Albus had sent him here to deliver a message to Severus?
Or perhaps Harry just wanted to see him?
Severus forbade himself from lingering on that last thought. He shouldn't hope for the impossible. Men like him weren't made for hope.
Hope only made you realize what you would never gain. It was destructive. Deadly.
Nonetheless, Severus found himself stepping aside and letting Harry inside his quarters. The door closed behind the boy and separated them from the rest of the world.
OOO
Harry looked around the room. It didn't look any different from the one time he had been here before; no candles, no Christmas tree and no other decorations. Obviously the Christmas spirit had missed the dungeons on his way through Hogwarts.
"What do you want?"
Harry nearly jumped at the sound of that low voice. Slowly, he turned around to see Severus sitting on the couch, a glass in one hand and staring at him as if he were some sort of rare potion ingredient.
Harry gulped.
When Severus had asked him that silly question about the bezoar, he thought the man was up to some sort of fun, but Harry had obviously misinterpreted his intention. Otherwise, why should he be so cold towards him now?
Maybe Severus just wanted to be alone and Harry was disturbing his evening.
"I… I only… I…"
"Merlin! Can't you even speak like a normal person?!"
Harry stumbled backwards as Severus slammed the glass back on the table. Just like Uncle Vernon!
Harry took a shaky breath. He had only dared to address his uncle once, many years ago, while the man was having a drink. He had only done it because he felt very ill, but Uncle Vernon had made it crystal clear that freaks weren't allowed to speak to normal people.
Of course, Harry knew that Severus wouldn't beat him, but that didn't mean he wanted Harry to be around him. Green eyes closed against the hot moisture that threatened to spill over any second. No, he wouldn't cry! It was his own fault!
Harry shouldn't hope for the impossible. Severus didn't want him and he had probably already forgotten his confession.
Stupid, stupid!
Harry clenched his fists. He braced himself for the cruel words Severus would certainly throw his way when strong arms closed around him and drew him against a warm body.
Blinking in disbelief, Harry gazed up and found his Potions Master looking down at him with regret in his eyes.
OOO
He was such an idiot!
Severus had the urge to slam his head into the nearest wall. Why was he always pushing away the one person who meant so much to him?
He should be happy that Harry had come to pay him a visit for whatever reason and not yell at him. But that was exactly what he had done. Yell at him and worse, insulted him.
Oh yes, he saw how his harsh words had hit home. Harry might be able to fool everyone else with a happy and brave mask, but not Severus.
No, Severus was a specialist when it came to hiding behind a mask… and obviously also a specialist in hurting people.
The Potions Master swallowed hard. First Lily and now her son! Would he never learn from his mistakes?
He stared at the trembling boy who stood in the middle of his living room, trying hard not to cry. So much like Severus himself when he was younger, when he felt like no one loved him and everyone rejected him instead.
Severus had probably been right with that conclusion, but Harry didn't deserve to feel that way… at least not because of him.
Without thinking twice about his actions, Severus stood up from the couch and went over to the boy. Slowly and almost fearfully, he closed his arms around the trembling form of Harry and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath.
Severus swallowed hard and waited for rejection, for Harry to push him away and tell him that he had no right to touch him. Instead, he was rewarded with the most amazing sight as emerald eyes looked up at him. There was so much fear and at the same time, so much hope in them that Severus' heart skipped a beat.
Harry looked so beautiful right then, what with his shining eyes and slightly parted lips that spoke of his utter disbelief at being hugged, that Severus' arms trembled. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds, but it was in vain… Harry was just too tempting!
Although Severus somehow knew that he would regret his actions later, he ignored his voice of reason and gave into his heart's desire. Leaning down, he brought his lips to Harry's and kissed him lightly.
The boy tasted so sweet!
At first, everything in Severus screamed at him to deepen the kiss. He held himself back and after a moment, found himself quite content with the light kiss and the boy's slim body pressed against his.
Warmth spread through him and reached deep inside his heart, making him close his eyes in bliss. The kiss seemed to last forever, and if he had any say in it, it would never end… but it did.
A suppressed gasp brought Severus back to reality. When his eyes flew open and met wide open green ones, he realized what he was doing and froze on the spot.
Merlin, what had he done?!
What should he do now?
His heart hammered against his ribs as if it wanted to escape the tightness of his chest. He had kissed Harry!
It was like a secret dream come true, but he doubted there would also be a happy ending. No, not if he had interpreted the boy's shocked expression correctly. It was a wonder Harry was still here in his arms instead of trying to flee his quarters. That was probably because he was stunned from the kiss.
Severus couldn't blame Harry for it. How dare he touch this innocent boy with his tainted hands?
Severus could have enjoyed Harry's company tonight and maybe, they might have become friends… but such thoughts were useless now. With one thoughtless act, he had betrayed what little trust the boy might have had in him.
"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… I…"
Severus shook his head and closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see the look of utter disgust on Harry's face.
"Don't! Please, don't apologize!"
Dark orbs snapped open only to widen in surprise as Harry's lips pressed against his in a determined kiss.
OOO
Severus tasted of Firewhiskey.
Harry noticed that when the man first kissed him, but the taste was more intense now. That was probably because he could now concentrate on the feeling of those thin lips without feeling too surprised.
He knew he shouldn't be just surprised; he should be shocked! After all, his Potion Professor had just kissed him! But the thing was, Harry didn't feel shocked… only rather pleased and harboring a sudden wish to prolong the kiss. He smiled into the kiss and nipped a little at Severus' lower lip, feeling Severus stiffen at first before responding to his shy touch.
On some subconscious level, Harry now understood why the Potions Master had avoided him since Halloween. The stuttered apology after the first kiss showed that he was afraid of his own feelings… or afraid of how Harry might react to them.
"That's stupid," Harry murmured against Severus' lips.
"What's stupid?"
A smile ghosted over Harry's lips as he looked up."That you didn't believe me when I told you that I didn't mind you having… feelings for me."
A faint blush spread over his features, but the Gryffindor in him forbade him to break eye contact. Somehow, he felt that Severus and he had to set things straight if they didn't want a situation like the one a few moments ago to occur again.
Severus kept silent so Harry continued.
"I came down tonight, because… because I missed you and I… want to… spend time with you."
Harry exhaled. There, he had said what was on his mind the whole time. He only hoped that the rueful smile that spread over Severus' features right now didn't mean he was going to be sent away.
OOO
He was such an idiot!
Severus gave himself a mental slap. How had he even made it through life this far if he didn't notice the most obvious things?
For Merlin's sake, he was a spy! He should be able to read a person and interpret their actions correctly!
The exploded cauldron, the spilled potion and the hex thrown at Draco were all Harry's attempts to gain his attention. Instead of distancing himself from Harry and hurting them both in the process, he should have tried talking with the boy to find out what he was thinking.
Merlin, it was embarrassing that a fifteen year old boy had to make the first step, when Severus should have done so weeks ago.
"I'm sorry, Harry," he began. He paused and searched for the right words to explain himself when Harry interrupted him.
"It's all right. I understand that you… don't want to… risk your job and I… I better leave now."
Severus' eyebrows shot up. He only understood the meaning behind Harry's words when the boy turned towards the door.
"No!" He reached out to grab Harry's wrist. "You misunderstood me."
When those green eyes looked up at him, filled with hope and doubt, Severus realized he would have given his heart to Harry right then if he hadn't already done so.
"I'm glad that you're here. I only…" Severus stopped and gave a mental groan. He wasn't good with words tonight. He wanted to tell Harry he couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas Eve than to be with him… but he couldn't. The words refused to come to his lips.
Severus sighed and looked away, his gaze falling on the opened bottle of Firewhiskey on the table. Like at Halloween, it gave him an opening and he took it.
"Do you want to have a drink with me, Harry?"
OOO
Harry blinked at the sudden invitation, but he nodded anyway. He wasn't as crazy about alcohol as some of his peers were, but he had liked the Scotch that Severus served him the last time. Hopefully, the Firewhiskey would taste just as good. Even if it didn't, he would still be able to spend some time with Severus. That was more than he had hoped for only moments ago.
Severus led them to the couch and summoned a second glass. Filling both the glasses, he handed one to Harry.
Harry took a cautious sniff of the amber liquid. It had a stronger smell than the scotch.
"I haven't poisoned it."
Caught by surprise, he looked up only to be met with the most beautiful sight he had ever seen: Severus was smiling at him!
It wasn't the crooked half smile the Potions Master sometimes directed at his Snakes nor the sadistic grin he reserved for the Gryffindors. No, it was a real smile that lit up his whole face and made him look much younger.
Harry opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it. He wouldn't put it past Severus to stop smiling if he commented on it right now. Raising his glass, he just returned the smile.
"I trust you, Severus."
If possible, the smile of the Potions Master grew even wider.
"Then tell me, Harry, what shall we drink to?"
Harry didn't have to think long to find an appropriate answer.
"To many more evenings like this one?"
A low chuckle escaped past Severus' lips.
"I guess I'll be able to live with that."
With another smile, they toasted each other and took a sip.
Harry gasped as the Firewhiskey burned its way down his throat and made his eyes water. All right, so it was much stronger than Scotch.
"You'll get used to it."
Harry just coughed and blinked his tears away. He was sure that Severus was grinning at him right now, but he didn't care. The man could have laughed at him at this very moment and Harry would still be happy, because Severus' words implied that he wanted to meet him in his quarters more often.
"But don't think I'll allow you to sleep here every time! Halloween was an exception!"
Harry nodded dutifully and took another mouthful of his drink.
OOO
Something smelled delicious!
Still half asleep, Harry turned around in his bed and yawned. The house elves had obviously decided to bring breakfast to the students on Christmas morning.
A nice idea.
Harry could only hope that Hermione wouldn't try to free them as a Christmas gift especially since the house elves had outdone themselves this time. Scrambled eggs with bacon and pancakes with syrup, if Harry interpreted the smells correctly.
Perfect – he loved eating something sweet for breakfast!
Harry yawned again. He should probably get up and get dressed, but he didn't want to leave the warmth of his bed right now. That thought hadn't faded away when the covers were suddenly drawn back, exposing him to the cool air.
"Hey, what…?"
"How long do you intend to sleep?!"
The harsh voice was at odds with the gentle way his glasses were slid onto his nose. Harry sat up and blinked at the sight that greeted him.
"What…?"
"Do you want to stay on the couch forever and wait until the pancakes are burnt or do you want to join me for breakfast?"
Harry blinked again to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. He blinked a third time to make sure the image in front of him was real.
Severus Snape, the dour Potions Master of Hogwarts, stood there dressed in his usual black clothes and what looked like a white apron over them.
Harry stared at him in disbelief and shook his head to clear his mind. He must have fallen asleep on the couch again and was dreaming. But that didn't account for the -
"You made breakfast for us?!"
Severus frowned down at him.
"I thought my words were clear enough for a Gryffindor, but I'll repeat them for you. Yes, I made breakfast for us; pancakes for you and scrambled eggs for myself. I won't wait much longer for you to join me."
In no time, Harry had bounded off of the couch and was on his way to the kitchen.
"Hey, why didn't you wake me? I could have helped you, you know," he threw over his shoulder.
When he felt a warm arm slide around his waist, Harry looked up to see the faintest of smiles ghosting over Severus' lips.
"I couldn't risk you burning down my kitchen, could I?"
Harry chuckled. He took the words as an invitation to come here and cook for Severus more often so that the man would be convinced of his culinary skills. For now, he looked at the delicious looking pancakes and gave a happy sigh.
Oh yes, he could definitely get used to this!
OOO
The pancakes were delicious.
Harry licked his lips and was about to help himself to a second portion, when something hit him.
"Shit!"
Severus' eyebrows shot up.
"No cursing in my rooms, Harry!"
"Sorry, but I – I just…"
Harry bit his lower lip, shook his head and took a deep breath to calm himself. It was unbelievable that he had forgotten what day today was, but there was no need to stutter like a little schoolgirl.
Making a decision, hestood up and moved to stand next to Severus' chair.
"Are the pancakes so terrible that you want to leave right away?"
Severus' voice sounded mocking, but Harry saw the insecurity in those dark eyes and that made him feel a little braver. At least, he wasn't the only one still unused to this whole new situation.
"No, but I forgot something."
"And what…"
Before Severus could finish his sentence, Harry leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to his lips. The taste of coffee and bacon registered in his senses when he pulled away, a blush creeping into his cheeks.
"Merry Christmas, Severus!"
Surprised, the Potions Master blinked and then stood up to embrace him, the rare smile that Harry had already fallen in love with gracing his features.
"Merry Christmas to you as well, Harry."
"I'm sorry that I only have this breakfast to present you with."
Severus sounded regretful, but Harry only shook his head and returned the smile.
"No, it's wonderful! The pancakes are great, but I don't have anything for you…"
An elegant finger on his lips stopped Harry in midsentence.
"Don't apologize, Harry! I can't think of anything I would rather have than to spend Christmas morning with you."
Harry smiled.
"But," Severus continued with the grin of a real Slytherin, "If you have more of those sweet kisses to share with me, I wouldn't mind!"
Brilliant green eyes met deep dark ones.
"I can`t think of anything else I would rather do, Severus."
The next moment, pancakes and scrambled eggs were forgotten when their lips met in a sweet and longing kiss.