Cotton Candy and Chaos
I groaned as I pushed against the grass underneath me
"Ooohh, what happened last night?"
"I could ask you the same thing-" A voice said
"Who are you?" I asked, opening my eyes
"I am known by many, many, many names-"
'Oh great, one of those...'
"-but you may call me Discord"
I looked up and saw a chimera, I'm not kidding, an actual chimera
"Is any of this real?"
"Depends on what your definition of 'real' is" He said cryptically
"So let's say for the sake of my sanity that all of this is real, why am I here?"
"I brought you here"
"I figured as much, but why?"
"It's simple really..."
"Care to elaborate?"
"I could, but where's the fun in that?"
"Um, absolutely nothing?" I offered
"Nope!"
"Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyyy, where are we?"
"Somewhere outside the Everfree I assume"
Some pink clouds floated overhead
"Why are we here?"
"Excellent point!" He snapped his claw (talon?) and both of us reappeared in a living room
I fell to my hands and knees
"Whoops, I don't think I took into account your temporary resistance to magic"
Before I knew it, I passed out again
X
"-and I don't need someone to watch us!" A female voice said, she sounded about my age...
"Do you think you and your sister could stand each other long enough to cooperate?"
The female voice didn't reply
'What happened? Oh that's right-'
"Ah, it looks like our guest is waking now"
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, I realized I was laying on a couch with a black and white checker pattern
"My aching head..."
I looked around the room and saw Disord and another draconequus who I assumed to be the owner of the voice I heard just moments before
"Can you explain why I'm here now?" I asked
He cleared his throat and sent the other chimera off to another part of the house, with a huff she left
"I'll bet you're curious as to why I've taken a special interest in you"
"Yeah, I've been wondering about that-"
"The short answer is I threw Equestria into chaos and Sparkly and the other Elements are going to encase me in stone again in a short while"
"Elements? Stone?"
"I'll elaborate on that later"
"But-"
"Right now I need you to watch Eris and Screwball"
"Who?"
"My daughters"
"I kinda figured that out, but why do you need me to watch them?"
"Did you not just hear what I said?" He said, irritated
"Oh, right, continue-"
"Thank you, now as I was saying I'll be gone for, shall we say, an unknown amount of time"
"So you want me to be a babysitter?"
"Basically, more like a caretaker"
"I don't know, I honestly don't think I'm the best choice for this"
"Which is exactly why I picked you"
"What?"
"Forget it, now before I go I want to give you a little something"
"And what would that be?"
"I'm giving you your own powers, for 'emergency' purposes"
"Basically that means use them however I want-"
"Pretty much, now I'm off!"
He disappeared in a flash
'Well that happened'
A pink earth pony with a purple and white mane and tail wearing a beanie trotted into the room
"Um, hi" I said
'Really? That's all you can say?'
Her spiraling purple irises stared back at me
"What the hay are you?" She asked
"I don't know, you tell me"
Her face screwed up in thought
The draconequus came back into the living room
"Where'd Dad go?"
"He um, had to step out"
"Right, well I guess that means we won't see him again for a while"
"Does he usually disappear alot?"
"No, but we've been separated more times than I can count"
"That's awful"
"Whatever, who're you?"
"I don't really remember-"
"You seem like a goody-two shoes, so I'll call you Accord"
"That actually has a nice ring to it, so what're your names?"
"I'm Eris and this anklebiter is Screwball" the draconequus said
Screwball rolled her eyes and went back down the hall
"So, a human huh?"
"How do you know what I am?"
"Sometimes Dad took us to Earth"
She didn't elaborate any further, with the maddening silence I decided to try and break the ice
"So where are we exactly?"
"Equestria"
"No, I mean which city- which town?"
"Canterlot, dad set up this house so the princesses wouldn't find us"
"Can I assume they live here too?"
"In the castle, yeah"
"But why so close? I think you'd risk them finding you"
"Eh, I don't know" She replied simply "All I know is they haven't found us yet"
"But somewhere so obvious?"
"Haven't you heard of 'hiding in plain sight'? Besides, it's part of a space displacement spell, this house exists in the space between buildings"
"Ah, that makes sense"
"So tell me about yourself, not too often you see something like you around here"
"The same thing could be said about you..."
"You met daddy"
"You're a teen and you still call him 'daddy'?"
"No, sometimes I just forget to switch" She said defensively
"Fine, I'll drop it- doesn't really matter to me anyway"
"Right, well I'll be in my room if you need me..."
"I thought you said you wanted to know more about me"
"Maybe later...Oh, and one more thing"
"What's that?"
"Don't need me"
She went down the hall and into her room
"Hmmm, wonder what that was about..."
"I think she's got a crush on you" a voice sing-songed
"Jeez Screwball don't do that! You scared the crap out of me"
She just smiled and pretended she'd been there the whole time, or was she? I don't know
"Let me guess, you're out here now because all the problems Discord caused are gone, right?"
"Yeah..."
"So what you said, you really think she likes me?"
"Oh yeah, didn't you see the way she was looking at you?"
"How was she...looking at me?"
"You are dense, aren't you?"
As if to drive the point home, I sank into the floor up to my knees
"Very funny, I think you're just messing with me and trying to get me in trouble with Eris"
"Rats..."
"Better luck next time"
The propellor on her beanie spun and she hovered above a few feet of the floor
"You wanna see your room? I decorated it myself!"
I swore I heard Eris give an annoyed groan from inside her room
"Um, sure why not?"
She led me down the hall and knocked on the wall with a hoof (which oddly enough sounded like 'shave-and-a-haircut')
The wall began to turn like a slot machine and the panels finally stopped to reveal a purple door, she pushed it open
"Well it's, uh-"
"Do you like it? Huhhuhhuh?" she asked excitedly
"-it's very...messy"
"I know, right? That way everything is in its place"
'What? Nevermind, I'll question it later...'
"I love it Screwball, thank you"
She squealed and wrapped her hooves around my legs, then proceeded to run out of the room
'That was actually kind of sweet...'
"*Ahem*"
I turned around and saw Eris leaning against the doorframe
"Hey" I said
"Hey, um, I realized I uh, didn't really make a big deal out of you being here, and- I guess what I'm trying to say is 'welcome to the universe'" She said with a giggle
"Thanks, it's good to be here- I think I might like living here"
"You do realize you were brought here against your will, right?"
"Details, details"
"You know you're stuck here, don't you?"
"Well, I am stuck in here with you two, so..."
She flew over to me and punched my arm
"Ow, what was that for?"
"Being a jerk" she grinned
"Right, well let me get settled in and I'll see what I can make for dinner"
"Sure thing"
She flew out of my room and into her own, I noticed a certain pink mare peeking through the door
"Oh she definetely has a crush on you"
I rolled my eyes and went back to inspecting my room
The walls were a yellow-green while the floor was a patchwork of colors, ranging from the colors of the rainbow and then some, a bed sat in one of the far corners of the room, in the other was a pile of random junk, I think I saw a baseball bat in there, along with a few joybuzzers among other things; Wait a minute, they have hooves- how do they swing the bat? Or throw a baseball? I put that thought into the 'question it later' stack (which was going to be as tall as Everest by the end of the month)
Sighing, I left my room and went into the kitchen
"Let's see, what have we got here?" I asked myself, opening the pantry
"SUPRISE!"
"AH!"
I fell backwards onto the floor
"Screwball, I told you not to do that!"
"I forgot..."
"I'll bet you did- just for that you get to help me make dinner"
"Aw nuts!"
"Don't give me that, you brought this upon yourself, now you have to face the consequences"
Oh god I sound like my mother...
"Ummm, nope!"
And with that she left the kitchen
"Peas, carrots, and mashed potatoes it is then"
I pulled out the ingredients and set to work
"What's up skinny?"
"Nothing, just making dinner"
"Whatcha makin'?"
"Some peas, carrots, and mashed potatoes"
"Thank goodness" she sighed with relief
"I take it you're happy about something?"
"With as big a sweet tooth as Screwball has, it's rare that I get to eat something that WON'T rot my teeth" "Got it"
"Between the two of them, Screwball and Dad could put the nearest bakery out of business"
"I could see that happening..."
"Yeah, I think they actually did do it a couple of times"
I laughed as I set the potatoes and vegetables on the table, I snapped my fingers and an bull- horn appeared in my hand
"SCREWY, DINNER'S READY!"
"How did you do that?"
I stared down at the bull-horn
"I have no idea...it just sort of happened"
"There may be hope for you yet" She said
"Eh"
"Jeez, what was that?" Screwball asked, coming into the kitchen
"The dinner bell, eat up" I replied
"Oh boy! Ice cream!"
Eris and I hid a smile as Screwball put the potatoes on her plate
"Yeah, you want some chocolate sauce with that?"
"You bet I do!" I poured the gravy onto the potatoes and she dug in
About four bites in she coughed up all the food she had just eaten, sending a ball of mashed potatoes across the room
I couldn't hold in anymore, I burst into laughter as Eris fell out of her chair in a giggling fit
"You could have told me it wasn't ice cream!" She shouted
"It hurts! HAhahahahaHAhah, oh make it stop! Hahahaha"
"Sweet Celestia that was precious! You should have seen your face!" She said, banging her lion paw on the floor
We finally stopped and noticed Screwball glaring at both of us
"Oh come on, it was funny!" Eris said
"Was not"
"You're the one who thought it was ice cream" I pointed out
She huffed and turned her vegetables into spaghetti with caramel sauce
"Alright, it was a little funny" she finally admitted
Soon we all finished and I set the dishes in the sink, letting them soak for the night
"I'm going to bed" I yawned
"You two be in bed by 10:00, before that just keep the noise level to a minimum"
Eris waved her eagle claw dismissively and Screwball simply stuck her tongue out at me I went to my room and passed out onto the bed