A Good Plan
It was a cold morning. Aziraphale was standing in St James Park feeding ducks as he had done so many times before. He had named the ducks and right now he was feeding the one called Dolly, though he wasn't sure it was female. How do you tell with ducks?
He heard steps behind him and he knew who it was of course but when he turned around and saw the demon's dark figure he felt strangely happy even though they'd met just yesterday! I'm getting too used to his company, the angel sighed with a smile.
Crowley looked at him and smiled to, as if a similar thought had crossed his mind (which it had). Aziraphale handed him some bread and they fed ducks. Crowley threw bread high and far, making the ducks work for their meal while Aziraphale threw right at the bird's feet. There were more ducks close to the angel.
"No, I haven't had any new updates from my people either and it's been a while now. I just keep to what I did before until they give me another assignment ", the angel said. He was quite happy with no new jobs.
A mother with a child in tow stood close for a while looking at the birds. They left but the child dropped a toy. No one noticed.
Crowley nodded. "Yeah, not even a beep on the radio or a scary distorted voice from a speaker"
"CROWLEY", came a scary distorted voice from the ground. Demon and angel jumped and looked around. On the ground lay a toy, a doll with a speaker built in.
"CROWLEY", it repeated.
"Yes, yes", the demon answered, "What is it?" he was not at all pleased to hear from hell. Then realising he was talking to a superior quickly added: "How's it going?" hoping to sound casual.
"IT'S FINE, THANKS." and then "WE ARE CALLING YOU TO A MEETING"
Crowley looked uncomfortable. He didn't much like meetings especially those hosted by hell.
"Oh, okay", he said. "What's the big topic?"
"YOU"
"oh"
"INDEED. WE WILL EXPECT YOU IN THE GREAT HALL TOMORROW AT NOON"
It wasn't enough that they were gonna have a meeting about him they just had to drag him to hell for it. Maybe that could be fixed.
"Oh, the great hall you say, isn't that a bit 15th century? What about we hire a conference room in um" he looked up at the angel beside him who mimed something "The Bland Brothel" Crowley guessed aloud but Aziraphale shook his head and waved his hands in a no no no motion. And then whispered to him instead.
"Oh no haha I meant The Grand Hotel of course haha... What do you say?"
"A HOTEL? UP THERE?"
"A, yes, a very good one, they have big rooms ( probably) a lot of food ( naturally) and wine and beer ( he hoped it would be enough to quench the thirst of a whole bunch of demons)"
"HMM, THE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SOUNDS PROMISING. AS YOU WISH. YOU ARRANGE THAT" and the transmission ended, static and all.
"Phew" Crowley sighed and drew a hand through his hair. "That was intense." Aziraphale nodded.
"What do you suppose they want? If it was my people having a meeting about me I would be worried".
The demon looked up at his friend. Yes he was worried. Meetings about one self was never good. What if they finally wanted to punish him for the blunder with armageddon and the whole placing the antichrist in the wrong family thing. They would probably strand him in a desk job. Paperwork with no end, literally. He shivered at the thought. But worse would be leaving this place that he had gotten used to. Restaurants, driving his beloved car, but worse was the thought of not meeting Aziraphale any more, and the thought of that settled like a ball of pain in the pit of his stomach. The hurt reflected on his face and the angel saw it through those dark glasses and understood precisely. He took the demon's hand in his hand squeezed it gently and Crowley looked up grateful and squeezed back. They stood in mournful silence for a while. Suddenly the angel made an exited movement and Crowley looked up surprised!
"What if you had something that kept you here, some big scheme that they just couldn't say no to. Then they would have to let you stay!" He smiled at his great idea. Crowley looked up, a hopeful expression on his face.
"Hey angel, that is a good idea, a very good idea" Aziraphale felt proud (but not too proud of course).
They went to a cafe, one of Aziraphale's favourite, owned by an old lady who looked as old as the furniture (at least a 150), to plan Crowley's big plan. It was a good place for planning. You could sit there for as long as you liked and towards the small hours the old lady would offer something stronger than tea which was always nice.
"So what about giving out free jazz CDs" offered Crowley.
"Yes that's the devil's music", said the old lady who had joined them at their table and was now helping them.
"But hasn't almost all music been the devils at one point?" said Aziraphale. They hadn't come up with any good ideas yet and was still at square one but at scotch glass six which wasn't exactly helping.
Crowley gulped down his seventh glass and exclaimed: "What is noon anyway?!" thinking about the deadline.
"Well I do believe it used to be three o'clock in the daytime but now in modern days it's approximately 12 o'clock" Aziraphale said. "Have hell modernised their time do you think?"
"Nah," said Crowley. "I don't even think they have two clocks that shows the same time. Lets say its three." Gives me a few more hours, he thought.
"Oh, I know!", said the old lady holding up a finger in the air. "You could start a preschool teaching children how to kill puppies and kittens!"
Crowley and Aziraphale looked startled at her! They didn't know what to say to that.
"What?, you wanted an evil project right?" she said.
"Sure sure", said Crowley. " But there is evil and evil! Killing puppies and kittens is, well a bit too much even for demons!" At least for me he thought, picturing cute tiny puppies and kittens. No, just no!
Aziraphale nodded, still startled by the proposition. You really never know what old ladies are thinking!
Several rounds of scotch and vodka (that the old lady had hidden in a bible for some reason) later they came up with some lame plan that Crowley would start a shoe company that would make exclusive but quite uncomfortable shoes making people miserable and angry. Would it be enough? They could only hope.
Not wanting to come out of the comforting drunken haze that surrounded them they took the old lady's offer and rented one of her bed and breakfast rooms. Not really needing to sleep but they both welcomed the break from thinking. They staggered up some stairs helping each other to walk (though it mostly made them walk slower) and plunged onto a bed. Apparently the old lady had given them a double bed for some reason though they were too dazed to reflect on that.
Waking up Crowley realised he was spooning Aziraphale! The realisation came to him gradually. At first just a warm nice feeling along belly and legs, then he felt the angels hair against his face and a faint smell from Aziraphale's soft skin, cinnamon Crowley thought and smiled. Then he opened his eyes and realised for real.
Not really wanting to leave this nice warmth he lay a while longer and then thinking it would be awkward if the angel woke up with them like this he slowly untangled himself. His arm was tightly hugged by Aziraphale which made Crowley smile as he eased it free. The thought that he could have stayed there forever filled him and then it hit him that forever with Aziraphale could end today at noon! Forever with Aziraphale. He smiled at that. Yes he would do his best to make that happen and than perhaps... he looked at the sleeping angel.
Aziraphale awoke with a big yawn and sat up and scratched his head. He'd dreamt of something nice and comforting though he couldn't remember it presently. On a chair by a small table sat Crowley and practised for the great speech about shoes he would have to hold in front of a bunch of demons in,... two hour! Too soon! But any time would be too soon.
"Good morning" Aziraphale said and Crowley looked up and smiled faintly feeling the soft gaze of the angel that made him feel all warm. Since when had he started to feel this way when the angel looked at him?
They had breakfast downstairs that the old lady had prepared for them and then they set off towards the Grand Hotel. On their way Crowley booked a conference room and food and a lot of wine and beer. All seemed magically available (which it was). When there they saw that the room was already full of gruffy looking demons, all people Crowley had been glad not to see again. Aziraphale pressed his hand good luck before Crowley opened the door, and then it closed between them.
The demon tried to smile friendly when he entered the room, then realising that a friendly smile won't come a long way with these kinds of people he tried to look grim instead. No seat was left for him so he had to stand by one of the short sides of the table while all of his fellow demons watched him steadily.
"Welcome Crowley" said the highest ranking demon, who wanted to be called John (no one knew why).
"Um, hi", said Crowley with a small wave. "Whats all this about then?"
"We have gathered here to decide what to do with you", John said ominously.
"Wait! Wait!", said Crowley. "Maybe this can help you decide", and he started his well rehearsed shoe speech.
Aziraphale followed everything that happened in the conference room through a round window in the door.
It didn't seem to go that well. He thought that Crowley did a splendid job but the other demons didn't seem impressed. I have to do something, the angel thought. But what?! Then it hit him. It was a brilliant thought! One that the demons must like and that would keep Crowley up here by his side. Yes!
There was a loud thump on the door and all the demons turned their heads (Aziraphale had wanted to make a bombastic entrance and tried to break the door down but failed) instead he opened it by the handle but with a quick and wild movement.
"Crowley", he shouted a bit too loudly and with feeling. "Do not leave me alone on this earth now that you have tempted my heart!" Theatrically he reached out a wanting hand towards the baffled demon who stood gaping in front of a roomful of equally baffled demons. Aziraphale continued his performance.
"If you should leave me now I must return to my heavenly ways but I wish you'd stay and show me your wicked demon ways!" and at that he threw his arms fiercely around Crowley and kissed him passionately, maybe a bit too passionately and the demon was completely taken by surprise, his arms hanging along his sides.
Aziraphale who realised that he may have overacted a bit but couldn't stop now broke the too-wild-kiss and just hugged Crowley desperately. There was complete silence for quite a while and then a round of applause!
And all the demons rising and shaking Crowley's hand, congratulating him on having succeeded in seducing an angel. Apparently he could stay until that job was properly done. And suddenly Crowley and Aziraphale where alone in the deserted conference room. First then did the angel release his grip on the demon. And blushing and smiling he looked up at Crowley who still couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. He could still feel the pressure of the angels lips against his.
"Too much?" Aziraphale looked worried. "It worked splendidly though".
And Crowley looked into the angel's eyes and smiled.
"It worked amazingly" he said tracing his hand along the angel's arm reaching his hand and grasped it. He pulled Aziraphale close and whispered " Maybe a bit too amazingly" and he closed the distance between them. This time the kiss was simple but so soft and the angel felt a warm and tingling feeling. He snucked his arms around Crowleys waist and deepened the kiss. As they broke apart they smiled happily and then they just had to kiss again.
"To think a roomfull of demons would have this effect I would have called for a meeting sooner" Crowley finally said and Aziraphale beamed at him.
" Oh you certainly should have" he said "But what is a few month here or there?"
"True" They went out hand in hand suddenly feeling like eating at some good restaurant or just drive as fast as possible to the nearest bed.
The end