Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics and Zenescope Comics.
This is a crossover team-up I did last Christmas as a gift to a friend of mine, Nei Ruffino. Lacie is from Zenescope's Return to Wonderland comic trilogy. This is supposed to take place inbetween the moment where Lacie sent her daughter, Calie, back to the real world and before she was found in the Hatter's basement. Lacie is supposed to be the personification of Alice Liddle's, as in Alice in Wonderland, sanity or childhood innocence trapped by the Jabberwocky.
Batman, Bruce Wayne, "died" in Final Crisis when Darkseid unleashed the Omega Sanction on him, which condemns its victims to live a series of lives that all end in tragedy. This was one of them.
Batman & Lacie
Brave & The Bold
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat
The Omega Sanction. The so-called "Life that is Death". Or "Death that is Life" who the hell remembers anymore? No one is ever really clear on what the it is. I mean, we're talking about Darkseid, a being who looks like his mother carved him out of rock and then bashed his head in.
Where was I? Oh yes, the Omega Sanction. When it hits its intended victim, it traps them in a series of alternate lives and realities, each one ending more horribly than the last. If that's possible.
And now, we meet our "hero". Bruce Wayne, the Batman. Scourge of the Gotham City underworld and one bad mother-
Shut your mouth!
But I'm talkin' bout the Bat!
Then we can dig it.
So, here we have Batman, knocked out on a cave floor, having just broke his number one taboo in order to bring down the God of Evil house in a fat old man's body. The last thing he remembers is getting hit by two lasers and then, nothing.
His eyes slowly begin to open beneath the cowl. He doesn't groan as he gets up. The Batman never groans. He shakes his head, and is shocked to learn that the four holes caused by the syringes they stuck in his head are gone. He examines his costume, his cape and cowl. It isn't smudged, torn, or scuffed at all. He doesn't feel any pain from stiff limbs or joints.
He doesn't know how he wound up in this cave, although there are his home preference. As he stands up, he turns around to the ongoing darkness behind him. Pitch black. He decides he would have a better chance of finding civilization in the opposite direction. He walks out of the cave, into bright sunlight, and is somewhat amazed at what he sees.
An amalgamated landscape of night and day, winter and summer. Mountains, jungles, castles, polar tundras. The sun and moon, fully shining their respective lights, at the same time. All together. Impossible, he thinks. But, then again, in the life he's lived, that word has slowly started to disappear from his dictionary. He exit's the cave and starts to cautiously tread into the jungle. He is fully prepared. He might even realize he's being watched.
"What is this?" A gravelly voiced, hooded figure holding a giant scythe asks from atop the mountaintop which the cave is carved into to.
"I don't like this. This wasn't expected." The hood's companion says, a shadowed monstrosity with a pair of glowing green eyes.
"Yes, I can see that." The hood says.
"He has a strange scent. He's not from around here." The green eyes say.
"Not to worry. I'm sure he won't last long."
Batman has spent all of five minutes wandering in the jungle, and already he gets the sense that he's either finally snapped or he's simply dreaming.
He finds himself wandering in a forest of daisies and trees as tall as skyscrapers. All types of bushes and ferns. Roses, sunflowers, lilacs, daisies, pansies, lilies, orchids, mums, tulips, marigolds, palm trees, pine trees, fir trees, maple trees, willow trees. Hibiscus, poinsettias, bonsai trees, cypress trees, jack-in-the-pulpits, all meshed together like some kind of horticulturist's wet dream. Is that what this is? A world of dreams.
"Well. What is this?" A voice asks.
"You think he might be one of the Queen's?" Another asks.
"No, he doesn't wear her colors."
Batman turns around, alerted by rustling sounds in the bushes, and sees another odd sight. Four women, beautiful, grown, dressed as flowers. One, a redhead, is dressed as rose. Another, a blonde, would supposedly be a sunflower. A violet haired one is presumably a daisy. And the fourth, with her stature and stance possibly making her the leader, bears lavender/pink hair. Maybe a lily. Or an orchid? No, definitely a lily.
"Hello there." Rose says.
"Are you lost?" Sunflower asks.
The four begin circling Batman, like vultures over a rotting carcass, Batman thinks.
"Look girls, he wears a bat on his chest?" Daisy says, pointing a long, green fingernail at Batman's symbol.
"A bat?" Sunflower asks.
"So, would that make you a Bat-man?" Lily asks as she begins to caress his cheek.
"Now would be a good time to get your hands off." Batman warns as he grabs Lily's hand and shoves it away.
"You sound so tense. There's no need to be." Lily points out, looking slightly irate with a raised eyebrow.
"We just want to help." Rose tells him, a bit of sardonic joy in her words. Batman is already alerted to the rustling sound in the buses. Again. More of them? No, this sound louder. This sounds like trouble. (Oh God was that corny? I think it was corny)
"Then would you mind telling me where I am, exactly?"
"Isn't it obvious? You're in Wonderland." Lily tells him.
It's like that moment in Jurassic Park when the stomping sound just gets louder and louder and louder, until…
"You should get comfortable." Sunflower tells him.
Batman looks up. Some kind of horrible behemoth made out of the forest and jungle, with hollow eye sockets and gigantic teeth, towering over him.
"You won't be leaving." Rose giggles.
The girls have got their hands on him and won't be letting go anytime soon. Of course, they overlooked one fatal flaw in their plan.
"Yeah. Don't see that happening." Batman says.
He's Batman.
He knocks the four of them with his fists, mainly with a sweeping motion as he shakes them off. It doesn't take much effort. They collide with
"What are you waiting for? Get him!" Lily shrieks. The flower girls have revealed their true colors, as their eyes turn black and their teeth elongate into sharp points.
"By any chance would you fine ladies know a man named Jervis Tetch?" Batman asks as he punches Rose across the jaw. The behemoth slams its fist in the ground, trying to squash Batman, but he quickly dodges out of the way.
"We haven't had a Jervis in years." Sunflower says.
"They get stuck in my teeth." Daisy says as she helps Rose up, who is missing three teeth and is bleeding from the corners of her mouth.
Lily and Sunflower both jump Batman. Lily bites into Batman's shoulder as Sunflower grabs his leg. Batman grabs Lily by her hair and manages to shake Sunflower loose as he does. He lifts Sunflower above his head, with both arms, and throws her at the other girls.
"So, I'll take that as a no." Batman says. He whips out a grappling hook from his utility belt and fires it into the tops of the foliage.
As he swings from the trees like Tarzan, the behemoth follows after him. He gets halfway through the trees when the behemoth grabs him. Batman grits his teeth as the plant beast squeezes his body. He looks into the monster's gaping jaw. Despite the plant appearance, it has meaty insides, with giant, mismatched teeth in it's mouth. It's breath is horrible enough to make anyone vomit, even those who've abused their gag reflex over the years in binge eating and roller coaster rides. Thankful for Batman that he's equipped for anything. Even psycho flower hotties and giant jungle plant men. He throws a few explosive capsules inside the beast's mouth and it's head and neck explode in a vision of fire and vegetable guts. It's grip loosens, and Batman does a few choice gymnastics onto the tree branches. The beast falls back and shakes the entire forest. Birds fly off into the air and shriek. He takes a moment to stand above the behemoth's lifeless body. He turns around, and sees…
A castle decorated in hearts.
Where the hell is he?
…
They swarm over her. The Queen, the Hatter, the Cat, the Carpenter, the Caterpillar, the guards. The cloaked figure, Lacie is the name she goes by now, as sent Calie back to the real world through the large pool in the courtyard. It's the only way out. But don't worry. They'll have lots of fun with Lacie.
"Some dreams are just never meant to end." Lacie sadly says as she watches her daughter disappear beneath the crystal waters.
She can feel the Hatter's rotting breath on her cheek and his grody hands on her arms. She can also feel the glowing green gaze of the Caterpillar examining her as it examines everything.
She can hear the sounds of the Cheshire Cat growling amidst the clatter of the shoulders.
She can see the unfiltered insanity in the mismatched eyes of the Queen of Hearts and the manic bloodlust of the Carpenter as he drools with a bloody hammer raised to his face.
She silently awaits whatever they have to give her.
The sound of metal flying through the air is a shock to everyone as two of the guards fall to their knees. They have two odd, black, metallic… things sticking out of their backs. Shaped like bats. A shadows descends on them from atop the hedge. They look up. There is Batman, looking pissed as hell.
"You need to step away from the blonde woman. NOW." He orders.
The guards turn to the Queen.
"Need I say it?" The Queen asks, calmly. "Oh very well, OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!" She screams at the top of her lungs as her hands angrily twitch.
They begin to swarm across Batman as he jumps off the hedge and begins to deliver a beat down, Gotham style. They just keep getting back up no matter how hard he hits them. The Carpenter and the Cheshire Cat join the foray.
The Hatter has disappeared into the sidelines. The Caterpillar is bored out of it's mind.
With attention turned away from her and towards Batman, Lacie grabs the sword from one of the guards before she gets grabbed by the hair by the Queen.
"It's always SOMETHING with you, isn't it?" The Queen asks.
"Always something." A voice concurs. A voice coming from beneath the Queen's dress.
"Always causing chaos in my court, always causing SOME kind of trouble!"
"Always chaos and trouble."
"I though you liked chaos?" Lacie asks.
"Don't get snippy with me, you tart!" The Queen screams, and brandishes a giant axe with the attempt to chop of Lacie's head, among other things. She swings the thing and Lacie narrowly misses death.
"How many times does it take before you except your punishment like a good little girl?!" The Queen is gritting her teeth as she swings again and again. Lacie is defending herself as best she can. The Queen, unfortunately, has leverage. She's nuts.
"It wasn't enough that you had me, but you drag my daughter into this?! Why?!" Lacie screams as she and the Queen engage in a sword/axe fight. Lacie has spent years upon years having to defend herself from the amount of endless insanity and murder that this world has constantly thrown into her face. The Carpenter. The Hatter. The Duchess and the Mock Turtle. She doesn't even want to think about the Mock Turtle and the hell it put her through that winter. Despite the Queen's big honking axe, Lacie is swift and young. Agile. She does a good job of defending herself. She's on defense and the Queen is just wildly swinging. However, the Queen is briefly distracted by
"You morons! Either kill him or I'll have you all skinned and burned alive!" The Queen screams at her incompetent guards.
She has the Queen pinned to the hedge with the sword in her shoulder. The Queen grits in pain as blood drips out her shoulder wound.
"Tell me why. Tell me now! What is that damned thing planning for her?" Lacie threatens.
"Her?" The Queen asks, squinting her eyes. What makes you think we want her?" The Queen asks, smiling as if Lacie just told a funny joke.
"What are you saying?." Lacie asks as she tries to connect the logic. Logic in Wonderland. Now THAT is funny.
"I'm saying-" The Queen cuts off as something grabs Lacie's legs and knocks her down, dropping her sword. The hands than kick, or rather punch, Lacie across the face.
"I'll enjoy this." The Queen laughs as she raises the axe above her head.
Batman has climbed on top of the Cheshire Cat and is riding him like a mechanical bull as the Cat tries to scratch his face off with his sharp, giant claws.
"Stand still you flying rodent!" The Cat screams.
"A talking cat. Original." Batman mutters. He slams both fists into the top of the Cat's skull and brings it down. He catches a glint in his eyes and watches as the so-called "Queen" raises her impossible sharp axe over the blonde woman.
The Queen is on her back, and a pair of eyes are watching underneath her dress.
"We're leaving. Now." Batman says as he grabs Lacie away.
POOF!
A few well-timed gas capsules provide enough cover. The guards clutch at their throats and cough violently. It obscures the Cat's vision as it swipes
"No." The Queen shouts as they stand her up. The OTHER Queen of Hearts. The ugly one.
"NO!"
And they're gone.
"What are you waiting for?!" The Queen shrieks. "I WANT THEM NOW!"
…
Batman and Lacie are now in the woods. Not the same woods as before. They're surrounded by an endless number of signs spouting gibberish and stupid phrases.
"This way!"
"No, this way!"
"Don't listen to that guy, he's drunk."
"At least I didn't have an abortion!"
"The white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only."
"GARY! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!!"
"Dip."
"And chips."
"I see what you did there."
"I see dead people."
"Blanche Deveraux. That's French for Blanche Deveraux."
"You ever seen a dead body?"
"Idiot. Noun. You."
"Welcome to insanity. Population: Bacon, lettuce, and tomato over rye toast with mayonnaise and kettle chips on the side."
"I'm Spider-Man."
"Adam and Eve. Not Adam and… uh… a Mariachi band."
"That's from Tomorrow Stories #1."
"We need more lemon Pledge."
"Cut the red wire."
"We're not safe here. We have to keep moving." Lacie tells him.
"I've gotten that vibe. But first thing's first." Batman tells him. "Would your name happen to be… Alice?"
Lacie appears shocked. Her eyes go wide as she turns to Batman.
"I…" she says, turning her gaze away from Batman. "No, no, not anymore. My name is Lacie, now. How do you-"
"I have the feeling that I'm really not from around here." Batman explains. "You see, on my world, this place, Wonderland, it's nothing more than the setting of a novel written in 19th Century England. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. But nothing so bloody."
"Heh." Lacie laughs. "I have a feeling that if anyone ever wrote a book about this place they would have to be insane."
"We're all insane." Batman quotes. At this point he's not entirely sure if it's a direct quote or not, but it gets the job done.
"Is that from the book as well?" Lacie asks.
"Maybe. So then, is this place Wonderland?" Batman asks.
"This place, it has many names, but Wonderland is one that's been frequently used lately. Although it really doesn't do much justice. Nothing ever dies here. If it does it just comes back."
"Nothing dies?" Batman asks. Then that doesn't give him much reason to hold back anymore. "How long have you been here?"
"Time has no place here. Minutes, seconds, days, years, meaningless. But from what I've seen in the outside world it's been, maybe twenty or thirty years since I was trapped here." Lacie sighs and goes on to explain as the walk in the forest. "I was just a little girl when I came here. This whole world is run by a grotesque beast who tries to extend influence into the outside world. When I first met it, it made me explain to him how the outside world works. But it kept wanting more and more, but I didn't have that much to offer anymore. I kept begging it to let me go, and finally it did. But, it, it SPLIT me in two. Alice, Alice has been on the other side of the mirror, in the real world, ever since, and it kept me behind. I don't know if I'm supposed to be a representation of Alice's childhood innocence or if I'm supposed to be her sanity. As I watched Alice on the other side of the mirror, I kept calling out, begging to be released, but she, I, never listened. I finally took on the name Lacie, after an imaginary friend I had created, and then, something happened in the real world. Alice tried to kill herself in order to protect her, our, my daughter from the place. She didn't succeed. But somehow, my body began to grow."
Lacie takes off her cloak to fully reveal herself to Batman. She's dressed in the blue "Alice" outfit.
"I finally began to age until my body had become the same age as Alice's, maybe a bit younger. I think it was because of Alice's breakdown that I grew."
"How is it your daughter managed to escape when you couldn't?" Batman asked.
"That beast keeps me from escaping. Because it separated me from Alice it's the only one that can put me back together." Lacie says with sadness. "The only way out of Wonderland is through the courtyard pool in the Queen of Heart's castle."
"Why?"
"Because it's supposed to represent hope in an insane wor-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
Lacie clutches at her chest in pain as she begins screaming in pain. Her eyes go white.
"Lacie!" Batman yells as he grabs Batman as she screams. He sees in imprint being made in her neck. She begins clawing at it desperately as she tries to breath.
Meanwhile, in another world, Alice Liddle hangs lifelessly from a makeshift noose.
Lacie utters a small cry as tears go down her cheek.
"Lacie!" Batman shakes her, until he realizes he's stopped breathing. He lays her down on the forest floor and begins to administer CPR.
"Come on, come on!" Batman says as he applies pressure to Lacie's chest.
(Please note, I am not entirely sure how CPR is administered, so I would suggest no one try copying what is done in here)
Lacie lets out a huge gasp of breath as she starts to breath again, clutching her neck.
"What happened?" Batman asks.
"I…"
Lacie looks up at Batman.
She has become younger, a teenager, maybe her early twenties.
"Alice Liddle is dead."
"Having fun, luv?"
WHACK!
Batman is hit across the head with a cane. Lacie looks up to see the filthy old man, the Mad Hatter, shaking a cane disapprovingly towards the blonde woman.
"Oh come on, isn't it about time you gave up! I mean, really, you're not getting any younger, are you?" The Hatter jokes.
"And what do we have here?" He asks as he kneels down to inspect Batman. "Hmm, you're a first timer, aren't you?"
His dirty, ragged fingernails trace along Batman's cowl.
"I wonder what's behind Curtain Number-"
CRUNCH.
All five fingers broken.
"Oh my GOD do you ever brush your teeth?" Batman asks as he grabs Hatter's arms.
Before Lacie blinks Batman's got his hands around Hatter's neck, fully standing.
"So, nothing dies here?" Batman asks. "I don't have to feel bad about this then."
SNAP.
Hatter's head does a 180.
"That won't stop him for long." Lacie says.
"And how long is 'long'?" Batman asks.
"RRRAAAAAWWWRRRR!!"
"Alright then." Batman says.
And once again the two are on the run from the Cheshire Cat. Lacie is still weak from her episode but Batman's dragging her behind.
The two run past a diner which leads to a beach littered with rotting animal carcasses. The stench is not as unbearable as before.
"Where do we go from here?" Batman asks.
"It doesn't matter." Lacie says, despondent. "Everywhere in Wonderland just leads back to the same place."
"Just shut up and swim, woman!" Batman orders her. "I'll hold them off."
"But-"
"GO!"
The Cat, the Carpenter, and the guards, and the Hatter have finally caught up with them.
"I, I don't even know your name."
"It's Bruce."
More are coming.
"For God's sake didn't you say something about a daughter?" Batman asks, Lacie behind him.
Lacie silently nods in agreement and dives into the salt water.
"Now then, boys." Batman says, whipping out two more Batarangs. "Shall we?"
The guards storm over Batman and he does his best, kicking and punching and tearing his way through them.
"What is this thing?!" One of them screams.
"Who cares?! Would you rather deal with the Queen?" Another answers, before his arm gets snapped in two and he gets punched in the stomach."
"I would rather deal with the Queen then this psychopath!" One guard yells, before he feels his knees shatter under a booted heel.
"Now then, just you and I, ready for battle?" The Carpenter asks.
"Eh." Batman replies, seeing it so-so.
As Lacie swims, she sees a cave carved into the rocky waterfall. But, she thinks, she can't leave that man behind, and begins to swim back until something wraps around her waist and lifts her up.
Lacie screams in pain as the tendrils of a gigantic Venus fly trap lifts her above the water. She struggles to get out of it when she sees a familiar sight heading for the coast of the beach.
"No." Lacie whispers as she sees the beast arriving.
"Bruce look out!" Lacie screams.
Batman doesn't stop fighting the Carpenter. He crushes Batman's hand with his hammer, but Bruce grabs his nose and twists it before shoving him into the Cat's way.
"You."
Batman is lifted into the air by his head. The beast, the Jabberwocky, eyes him. He cannot pick up the scent of any of the worlds. But there is a scent that it finds. The scent of an all-knowing, all-powerful, force of evil. And that frightens the Jabberwocky.
"You don't belong here." The beast says.
Batman grits his teeth as the beast grabs his legs, the other claw still firmly grasping head.
"Now be on your way." The beast says as it begins to pull.
"Bruce!" Lacie screams. "BRUCE!"
RRRIP!
Lacie watches as his innards spill and shower the guards on the beach, and she sobs.
Suddenly, the fly trap jerks its tendril and throws Lacie onto the jungle floor.
"Oh come on, sis…"
Lacie looks up to see the Hatter, his neck a bit sore as he shakes his cane.
"Is a little sibling quality time SO much to ask?"
WHACK!
All Lacie sees is black.
…
In another time, another place, in a untamed landscape, an old man dies by a fire. As he lays down and dies, a man begins to etch a symbol onto a cave wall.
And life goes on.