A/N: Continuing the revived series novelizations, we move on to The End of The World. This is an episode I havent seen as often as some of the others so adapting it may prove tricky. But that's all part of the fun of going through chronologically.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. (If I did, I would be writing actual cannon stuff.)
The End of the World
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
And I feel fine!
REM
Chapter 1: The Cocktail Party at the End of the Earth
"So Rose." Said The Doctor. "Where do you want to go? It's your choice. Backwards or forwards in time?"
Rose was still trying to get her head around the sheer number of possibilities set out before her. "Dunno. Forwards."
The Doctor flicked two switches. "How far?"
"Er, 100 years."
"100 years it is." He spun a wheel, turned a dial and pulled a lever and the TARDIS roared into life. Seconds later, The Doctor pulled the lever back and the machine stopped with a bump. "There ya go. Step outside those doors now, it's the 22nd century."
"You are kidding."
"That's a bit boring though. D'ya want to go further."
"Fine by me."
The Doctor spun the wheel much longer than before. Turned the same dial and released the lever. The machine ground again, as The Doctor ran operated a device resembling a bike pump to boost the power. Once more, he brought the machine in for landing.
"We're now 10,000 years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12,005. The new Roman Empire."
Rose grinned. "You think you're so impressive."
"I am so impressive."
"You wish."
The Doctor responded with a misgevious look "Alright then. You asked for it." He spun the time damper even further than before, adjusted the orbit compensation and released the handbrake. As the TARDIS sailed through space and time, he pumped the turbo boost furiously. The machine was grinding much longer this time. The Doctor raced round to the far panel and flicked some switches to bring it in for landing.
"So where are we?" Said Rose.
The Doctor simply raised his arm in a see for yourself sort of way.
The room she stepped out into resembled something off of Grand Designs, everything was either pearly white or decked in polished wood. The small room was built on several levels, with steps leading down them. Though the architecture was not too impressive. Rose was still amazed to think that she had just stepped into a world millennia after she'd last been. A persistent hum informed her that she was in a vehicle of some kind.
The Doctor soniced open the window shutter, revealing a stunning view of the Earth 1000 km below them. Rose had seen photos of it before but they could never rival the real thing. She felt almost like some angelic figure, watching over the whole world.
"You lot." Said The Doctor. "You spend all your time thinking about dying. Like you're gona get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or a comet. You never stop to imagine the impossible. That maybe you survive.
This is the year 5.5/apple/26, 5 billion years in your future. And this is the day..." He looked at his watch. "Hold on..."
149,600,000 km away, and eight minutes in the past, the sun abruptly flared up like a candle sprinkled with sawdust. The bright light wafted over the time travellers, though the flare-proof glass kept them safe.
"This is the day that the sun expands." Said The Doctor. "Welcome to the end of the world."
"Shuttles 5 and 6 now docking." Announced a neutral sounding voice on the tannoy. "Guests are reminded that platform 1 forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth death is scheduled for 15:39. Followed by drinks in the Manchester suite."
Rose followed the Doctor down one of the spaceship's corridors. "When it says guests, does it mean people?"
"Depends what you mean by people." Said The Doctor. "They're aliens, mostly. Ah, much better view in here." He stopped at a set of double doors and soniced them open.
"And what are they doing on this ship?"
"It's not so much a ship as an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn."
"What for?"
"Fun." He led Rose through a massive auditorium, decked out in marble and fine art. The far wall and ceiling were given over to a massive viewing window, which made the one they'd first seen seem like a porthole by comparison. "Mind you, when I say the great and the good, I mean the rich."
"Hold on." Said Rose. "They did this on Blue Peter. The sun doesn't just expand in a day. It takes millions of years."
"The planet's now the property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there," he pointed out the window, "gravity satellites. Millions of them. Keeping the sun back."
"Why does the Earth look the same? I thought the continents shift over time?"
"They did. The National Trust shifted them back. But.. now the money's run out. Nature takes over."
"How long's it got?"
"About half an hour. Then the whole planet gets roasted."
"Is that why we're here? Is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save it."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. How best to explain this to her? He decided to dodge the question for the time being. "I'm not saving it. Time's up."
"But what about the people?"
"No one there. They've all left."
Rose stared down at the dead planet, her former home, scheduled for demolition. "Just me then."
"Who are you?" Said a voice. "And what are you doing here?" A blue skinned steward marched at them from a side door. "This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have arrived. They'll be here any second!"
The Doctor held up his wallet at them. "That's me, I'm a guest. See, I've got an invitation The Doctor plus one. I'm The Doctor. This is Rose. She's my plus one. Is that alright?"
"Well obviously." Said the steward. "Apologies etc... If you're on board. We'd better start. Enjoy."
As the blue man went to the main door, The Doctor turned to Rose. "The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see."
Rose was looking dazed. "He's blue."
"Yeah."
"Ok." She shrugged.
The blue man had taken his place at a podium by the door. "All staff to their posts." He announced. A dozen or so blue men, shorter than the steward, filed in through the side doors and stood to attention in various positions around the room. "We have in attendance: The Doctor and Rose. And now might I introduce the next honoured guest. Representing the forest of Cheam, we have, trees. Namely Jade, Newt and Copper. There will be an exchange of gifts, representing peace. We will keep the room circulating please."
Three figures entered through the main door. They were humanoid but their skin was composed entirely of soft bark. Leaves and flowers were growing from their head in place of hair.
Next through the doors was a creature the steward identified as the Mox of Balboon it was a squat greyish blue creature, which rode around on a mobility seat due to its race's inability to walk in gravity over 0.5g.
He was followed by The Adherents of the Repeated Meme, from Financial Family 7. A small group of six foot tall creatures, covered head-to-toe in black cloaks. They had a very imposing look about them.
The guests kept coming. A couple of engineers who looked like giant rats walking on their hind legs. Some guests buried under spacesuits and glare protectors, but still wearing their formal wear over the top. Bird creatures, troll creatures, liquid creatures... Rose was beginning to feel very out of place, being the only non-alien there.
Jade, the tree lady stepped up to them, holding out a flowerpot, containing a single twig. "I bring you a gift of peace: A cutting of my grandfather."
"Thank you. I give you in return... " Said The Doctor, handing the pot to Rose. He patted his jacket down, realising that he probably should have thought of this beforehand. "Air from my lungs." He said finally and blew in her face.
Jade was not familiar with this custom but was skilled enough in diplomacy to improvise. "How... intimate."
"There's more where that came from." The Doctor said.
"...Our sponsor for this evening." Announced the host. "Please welcome: The Face of Boe." Two staff people wheeled in a glass tank the size of a small car. An enormous head was suspended in some sort of fluid, taking up most of the tank.
The Doctor, meanwhile, was approached by the Mox of Blaboon. "My felicitations upon this extraordinary habistance. I bring you the gift of bodily salvias." It said and spat on the two of them.
But The Doctor seemed pleased by this. He moved on to the next guests. "Ah The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you air from my lungs." He gasped over them.
The leading cloaked form held up a large clawed hand. "The gift of peace in all good faith." It said in a mechanical voice and handed him a silvery plastic ball, which The Doctor merrily handed to Rose. You could never tell what was considered valuable in other cultures.
"Last but not least, our very special guest." Said the steward. "Ladies and gentlemen, trees and multiforms. Consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world. We call forth the last human. The lady Casandra O'Brien dot delta 17."
Had the man not said she was the last human, Rose would never have imagined that Cassandra could be. She was a paper-thin piece of skin, with eyes and mouth, suspended on a frame, which was wheeled in be two of her servants. With the backlighting, the guests could see all of her blood as it worked its way round her system.
"I know, I know. Don't stare. It's shocking isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over 2000." She said. "Moisturise me." A servant pulled out a spray gun and sprayed water over her. "My father was a Texan. My mother was from the Arctic desert. They were born on the Earth and they were the last to be buried in its soil." She continued with a sob she was clearly putting on. "I have come to honour them. And say goodbye." A servant sprinkled some tears under her eyes. "But behold. I bring gifts. From Earth itself!" As she said this her servants opened up a large case they'd wheeled in. "The last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says, it had a wingspan of 50 feet and blew fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband?" She laughed. Some others smiled weakly.
"And here another relic. According to the archives, this was called an ipod." A staff member wheeled in a 1970s-style pub jukebox. "It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!"
Someone pressed two buttons. A vinyl disk was lowered into position and Tainted Love by Soft Cell began to play.
As Rose stared around the guests, it finally hit her. She was lost in time. Not only was she surrounded by strangers but she was surrounded by creatures and worlds and cultures she could never begin to comprehend. The only familiar things in the room had long faded into legend, along with her home.
The Doctor, meanwhile was as unfazed as the rest of the guests and merrily danced to the music.
Sometimes I feel,
I've got to, run away,
I've got to, get away...
She took that message to heart and went to get some air.
The Doctor spotted her distress and decided she needed reassuring. Before he could reach the door, however, he was stopped by Jade, who promptly took a photo of him.
"Thank you." She said. "It's for my wall."
The Doctor nodded in acknowledgement and continued on. Jade looked down at the device. It wasn't a camera. It was a DNA scanner and could identify 15 quadrillion sentient species and their customs. It would take a while but she'd know how to behave next time she saw him.
The steward was stepping down from the podium. He was on his way back to the office to get some checks done when one of the Adherents of the Ascended Meme held out one of the plastic balls to him.
"A gift of peace in all good faith."
"Sorry, I'm just the steward."
"A gift of peace in all good faith."
The steward shrugged and took it. "Thank you, I suppose." He heard something rattling inside but thought nothing of it.