Disclaimer: The usual.
So here it is; the companion to See Me Shattered! If you haven't read See Me Shattered yet, I would recommend reading it before you read this here story, although it isn't completely necessary.
Thank you so much to all who reviewed See Me Shattered! Hopefully you guys like this installment! :D
"Oh, honey, you look so beautiful!"
My mother hugs me, tears in her eyes. The rest of the girls—Kairi, Olette, Selphie, and Xion—all gush about how gorgeous I looked and how I was going to blow my fiance away when he saw me.
My fiance.
Soon to be husband.
I'm really doing it.
I'm really getting married.
I pull away from my mother and look around the room. My mother—tears now running freely down her face, as she lifted a tissue to blow her nose—and my friends—all dressed in their matching bridesmaid dresses—were all there, all smiling at me.
Except one.
Suddenly, I need to be alone.
"Mom, do you think you all could give me some privacy?" I ask quietly.
My mother nods, understanding, bringing her hand up to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes. "Of course, darling, of course." She ushers the girls out of the room, and, after looking back one more time with a smile on her face, she leaves, shutting the door quietly behind her.
I sigh, turning towards the full length mirror. I ignore the dress—my dream wedding dress—and stare at my face in the mirror.
The happiness that I've been wearing in public all these months drifts away. Leaving a sadness. A sadness so deep, I can't even begin to describe it.
All because of him.
It was the last day of summer vacation that we could spend together before we both went our separate ways for college. He was leaving for Oblivion-Oathkeeper University the next day, where he would be studying music education; I was leaving for Radiant Garden Institute of Design the day after, where I would being majoring in Art Therapy.
We were both sitting at our usual spot; the deck that looks out over Twilight Lake. Both of us had our feet dangling over the edge, while we both licked our sea salt ice cream bars, chatting about randomness and watching the sun set. It was something we did every day of summer vacation, ever since we were in about 5th grade.
But this summer was different. We would be going separate ways for the first time.
We were both avoiding the inevitable goodbyes.
"So," he said, jabbing me in the side, causing me to giggle, "you're gonna call me at least every other day while we're at college, right?" He had on his signature smirk, but I could tell there was an underlying seriousness in his question.
"Obviously," I said, smiling up at him. "And I'll text you every other second while you're in class and make all your professors hate you," I added, laughing.
He chuckled. "You better," he said, nudging me with his shoulder.
I giggled. I never giggled around anyone as much as I did around him.
"Don't worry, I won't disappoint," I grinned.
He smirked, licking his ice cream bar. "I know."
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, finishing our ice cream.
I remember thinking:
Come on, Namine. Tell him how you feel already!
He's leaving tomorrow! Now's your chance!
I took in a breath. This was it.
But he spoke first.
"Hey Nam…" he started quietly, his tone serious. He was looking out over the lake, and the wind was blowing his spikes back gently.
I remember thinking about just how perfect he was…
"Yes?" I said softly, waiting for him to go on.
I remember my heart pounding.
Oh my gosh…he's finally going to…!
He looked down at me, his azure eyes locking with mine. He took a breath, and, still looking into my eyes, went on, "I just…"
Suddenly, I saw something shift in his eyes. Something…indescribable.
He let out a breath, closing his eyes, and I could've sworn I saw him shake his head ever so slightly.
What?…
He opened his eyes, and a soft, almost…sad smile was on his face.
"You're my best friend, Nam. And I'm not gonna let college change that. You'll always be my best friend."
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed gently. I let myself rest my head on his shoulder as I usually did when he did that.
Tears sprang to my eyes.
I…I really thought he would…
"You'll always be my best friend."
How could that one sentence mean so much to me...and yet, at the same time, make me feel as if my heart was breaking to pieces?
A quiet knock at the door breaks me out of my memories.
I know who it is. It could only be one person.
I quickly rearrange my features back into my happy state, and go to the door.
I open it, and there he is.
My best friend.
"Hey, you," he says softly, a small smile on his face.
"Hey, you," I say back, barely above a whisper.
He walks in and closes the door behind him. Then he turns back to me, hands in his pockets. He has on a black tuxedo, with a vest and tie the same shade of blue as the other bridesmaids' dresses.
He looks so handsome.
Heartbreakingly so.
He looks down at me with that smirk on his face, that same intense look in his deep azure eyes…
"So…how are you feeling?" His eyes—those eyes—are searching my face.
It's getting to the point where it's almost impossible to keep up my charade.
I give him a tight smile.
Oh, I'm great.
Besides the fact that I'm completely in love with you.
Besides the fact that I know I'm marrying the wrong man, just to try to escape this feeling I have for you.
Besides the fact that it doesn't seem to bother you the slightest bit…
"I'm fine. Just a little nervous, I guess…"
I turn away and walk over to the mirror again, standing in front of it. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes.
Maybe this is what is supposed to happen.
Maybe I'm not meant to be with him…
I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't acknowledge it.
I can't face him.
Not right now.
I hear him take a breath.
"Do you want to be alone?"
Of course he knows exactly what I need.
He always knows.
I keep my eyes closed and nod.
After a moment of silence, I can hear his footsteps making his way over to the door, and, after another pause, I hear the sound of him opening and closing the door quietly behind him.
My knees start shaking, and I slowly sink to the ground.
You can't cry, Namine. Kairi spent all that time doing your make-up…
Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes and look in the mirror again.
Myself, sitting on the ground, hands in my lap.
A heartbroken expression on my face, with tears threatening to fall.
Not exactly the look you would imagine from a blushing bride-to-be.
-----------
I hear the organ music start playing.
Deep breath. In. Out.
This is it.
And I'm walking.
I keep my eyes in front of me, a smile plastered on my face.
After all, everyone's expecting me to be happy. It's my wedding.
And I'm sure most brides don't walk down the isle with a shattered heart.
I'm almost at the alter now.
And I step up to stand across from Riku, my eyes meet his aquamarine ones.
No.
I can't.
Those aren't the right eyes.
They should be…
As Riku lifts my veil, my eyes shoot over to the bridesmaids.
And there they are.
Those eyes…
His face doesn't hold the happy smirk he has been wearing all these months.
No. It's something else.
Tortured.
I can feel the smile that was plastered on my face just seconds ago fall.
Vaguely, I can hear the priest speaking.
But all I can think about are those eyes…
I can't…
A tear escapes my eye and makes its way down my cheek.
And suddenly, I can see, crystal clear, what Roxas is thinking behind those azure eyes.
Because I'm thinking the same thing.
I love you.
~*~
So...what'd yins think?!!
Hopefully this gives you a little more insight into See Me Shattered. And I think it helps hint at my implied ending a little better...heh heh.
Yes, I realize I never wrote about how Namine and Riku meet and get together. So here's your background info:
Namine is heart broken, and doesn't tell Roxas how she felt after what he said about them being "best friends", since she is under the impression that that meant he didn't share the same feelings that she did. She goes off to college, and starts her classes, in a sort of numb and indifferent sort of way. One day, a silver-haired boy walks up to her after class and compliments a painting she had worked on that period (it was a picture of deep blue waves; well gee, I wonder who she was thinking of there?). She shyly thanks him, and he introduces himself as Riku. He was a year ahead of her and was also studying art therapy. He asked her to grab a coffee with him, and they got talking...
ANYWAY, reviews are always always always appreciated!