Chapter One: Memories

The rain was pounding down, sounding as though stones were denting the roof, splattering down in large drops over the windshield. The previously deafening echoes of the rainfall were drowned out by my parents incessant yelling, as was the norm of late. This was supposed to be the picture perfect family trip, heading to mom's home town for the summer. Oh yea, we were the freakin' Johnsons! As for my mom's home town, I hadn't been since I was a kid. This trip, however, was not going as was originally planned. I rolled my eyes up into my head, seeking the peace that had been escaping me. Yet still I heard their quarrel. With a frustrated groan, bordering on this side of a growl, I opened my eyes and stared out the window. Couldn't they ever just shut up? My father's form loomed before me in the driver's seat of the car; the bulk of his muscle apparent over the sides of the seat. The passing car lights shimmering off of his bald head as he reached a hand to push his lenses up the bridge of his nose. For a few scarce moments his fingers lingered to massage his forehead; a tight groan escaping his lips. A long sigh echoed his groan from his right. My mother wasn't one for patience lately. Her pin straight shoulder length black hair, the envy to any woman who laid eyes on it, bobbed as she gently shook her head back and forth. As if sensing my look she turned to me, a gentle smile upon her lips, belied by the hurt that shown from her crystal blue eyes. I forced myself to return her smile. She turned back and hissed.

"Michael, how long now? We're almost there! Just let me drive!""

"Dianne, I think I know where I'm going!"

"You said that ten damn minutes ago! And hours before that! I can't believe you! I just want to go home! If Riley wasn't here I swear to god…"

"Don't you DARE bring Riley into this!"

Finally fed up I released the rage that was pooling deep within me. I let out an ear piercing scream, every ounce of anger I had rippling within it, and pounded on the back of the driver's seat with just as much feeling. "SHUT UP!"

As if some genie had granted my wish they went silent and for a while we drove like this. Through all the silent bliss I couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt creep its way up to take residence like a lead ball in my stomach. Pushing myself further into my seat I closed my eyes. I hated beyond everything else seeing them fighting like this. It was as if they were purposefully going for the jugular. :: Divorce is just around the corner :: I heard my Aunt's voice as it ricocheted off the walls of my mind. I let the silence slowly drown me in its deepest dark, slowly my breathing became slow and rhythmic. Just as my body was about to drift into a deep sleep the world was turned upside down. My father and mother both screamed out, their ear splitting cries echoed through my mind, as lights swirled and the car began to spin. I held on to the back of my father's seat, a silent scream stuck in the lump of my throat. The flipping became even more violent as we slid down the embankment and came to a stop with a hum. It had happened so quickly I didn't even have time to think. As I lifted my head I noticed that my vision was blurry; holding my head upright my surroundings continued to spin. My hand reached to stop the spinning, blood soaking my pallid skin. I called out to my parents. The only forthcoming response was the ebony darkness and the so sweet silence of the night.

With a gasp I awoke, my body jolting upright in the bed I found myself in. Looking around my heart thundered in my ears and through my chest before it slowed its pace. My ears then picked up a different sound; a quiet familiar voice in the next room. The deep bass tone reminded me where I was. Quickly I ran my hands through my hair, finding it wet, and tried to calm my heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat. Whenever I dreamed of that night I always woke in a cold sweat. Constantly I had to remind myself that it wasn't just a dream, it had happened. The nightmare was real and it was something I had to deal with every day. It seemed so long ago that the crash had happened, my reality was turned upside down, and my parents and I had been in that tragically fatal car accident. The very same one where I was the only one who managed to come away with my life. In the gloriously numb blur that is shock, I was rushed against my will from the hospital, to live with my Uncle Charlie in his house in Forks, Washington.

From there, I slept without any concept of night and day. It was only later that I was told that my mother's last will and testament instructed that I be sent to live in her old home town, to grow into adulthood. And here I was, staring into the strange space that was my Uncle's spare bedroom. Growing up, I had never been close to my uncle. Yes, we talked on holidays, but that was roughly the extent of our relationship. Now, here I was! It would be an understatement to say I was shocked to see that my mother had left him as my legal guardian. Slowly I sighed, releasing the shaky breath as I laid my head back down onto the pillow, eyes closing. I felt as though I was Dorothy and Kansas was a faint dream. I was lucky if I remembered anything about this town. I remembered, just faintly, coming here when I was younger every few summers or so. Mom usually took me. Then the trips stopped, the last one when I was ten; seven years ago. When the fights and the marriage issues started, the visits became less and less frequent. Eventually they seemed to have stopped all together, until the day of the accident. To be completely honest, I missed the small, middle-of-nowhere town. Breaking my thoughts I heard the rugged whispering tone again. Quietly I crept up to the old door and leaned my ear against it, closing my eyes to listen closely.

"Bells, I know you're not at home anymore, but I really need you." There was a short pause, and I could hear my Uncle pacing back and forth in the kitchen just beyond the door.

"It's about your Aunt Dianne and Uncle Michael. They got in a car crash. No… they didn't make it." Charlie sighed, and I could feel the swell of tears pressing up. The sorrow forcing me to tighten my eyes shut even more. A few moments later, exasperated, he responded: "Riley's here, that's why I need you. She's been here a week. Yeah, she's a wreck. Wanted nothing to do with the arrangements. She even refused to go to the funeral. It was three days ago.."

I stepped away from the door as fast as I could and still be quiet; I did not want to hear anymore. Bells; he was speaking to my older cousin, no doubt about how unstable I was at the moment. I could help the sarcastic chuckle that softly escaped as I began unpacking my suitcases at the foot of the bed, hoping to ease my mind. It occurred to me halfway through the first one that I hadn't touched them since I'd arrived. I figured it was pointless to keep them packed however, seeing as I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Best to just get some things unpacked. It would mean less to unpack later. When I stood and placed my hands on my hips I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It seemed more like a shadow of what I once was and no longer could be. What happened next I couldn't stop; my frail frame shook silently with gentle sobs escaping my mouth. I felt so weak. The pajama set I was wearing seemed made for someone twice my size as they draped around me, dangling off of my shoulders. It was hard to believe that they had fit me just a handful of months ago. My skin looked pallid with the dark circles that had grown slowly under my dark chocolate brown eyes. You would never know that my skin was once vibrant and flushed. My auburn hair, held up in a pony tail when I fell asleep, had bits sticking out everywhere thanks to it becoming lose from restless sleep. I shook my head vigorously. :: It's been a week already…Had I lost sense of time?…Maybe I'm losing it?…No...I won't do this to myself. :: I vowed. They wouldn't want me to end up like this. Uncle Charlie chose that moment to knock on my door, jolting me.

"Yeah? Come in." I answered.

It was only then when he opened the door, and the artificial light of the kitchen flooded in, that I realized it was night. Charlie came in a bit from the door, clearing his throat and running his hands nervously through his dark hair. His posture was stiff and ridged under his chief's uniform. He kept shifting his weight, back and forth nervously, as though he was trying to come up with the right words and avoid the inevitable conversation that was about to take place. Tension filled the few feet that was between us, silently crackling like electricity as he ran his hand over his moustache. It didn't surprise me that being forced together so abruptly would turn out this way.

"So...Ri...," he murmured, looking around the room then focusing on the bundle of clothes I had unpacked. He managed to look anywhere but directly at me. "You ah...feeling okay? I mean, you're up now, right?" His voice seemed pained. Still his eyes never made contact, as if he was remembering his own past demons.

I forced a smile. "Yeah Uncle Charlie. For now I'm fine."

Looking around the room he smiled back. "I talked to your cousin. Most of the stuff in her room is gone but if you want feel free to take the room. The essentials are still in there; Bed, desk, dresser..." He trailed off softly as he headed to the door. He took one last look around the room before he gave a silent nod and closed the door behind him with a gentle click.

Moments later I was dragging my suitcase into Bella's old bedroom, my bedroom, with a load groan and a heavy thud. With a flick of the switch on the wall the room was illuminated in a soft warm glow. The room itself wasn't too big, in fact it was just on this side of quaint and comforting. I padded across the room, pushed away the aged lace curtains and peered out into the night. The moon was like a bright jewel held high in the slightly over cast sky. :: Another nice night..:: I thought with a smirk. Cracking open the bay window I took in a deep breath, the midsummer night's air rolled over my tongue, cool and refreshing. I had always hated heat. After standing there for a moment I heaved a sigh and then flopped down onto the bed. For a brief moment anger welled inside me. This wasn't my room, my house. The light blue walls were bare, save the few shelves and the equally empty large corkboard. There was a dusty old rocking chair in the corner and an old dresser in the opposite one. Between the two, under the corkboard, sat an old writing desk with an equally ancient computer on top of it. After scanning the room I sat up and grabbed a few of my prized possessions, my journal and a few family pictures, and grabbed a seat at the ancient desk. After skimming through some of the pictures I grabbed the tacks and, with a sigh, started pinning up the choicest of them; one of mom and dad smiling. If ever there was a way I wanted to remember them it was like this, smiling and care free. Sighing one last time at the picture I returned my attention to the desk. Opening a drawer to put my journal in I caught a glimmer in the very back. I pulled it out, replaced it with my journal, before shutting it once more. Gently I rubbed the new found picture on the corner of my shirt and stared down at it. Staring up at me was a picture of three young children.

The faded portrait showed three children outside on the porch of the very house I was sitting in. All three of them grinning from ear to ear. The two little girls were sitting on the steps while the boy sat on the stair above them, his arms wrapped around them both. The girl on the left appeared to be taller by mere inches then the other two, her brown hair tied up tight in a pony tail. Her chocolate brown eyes shone bright with her smile over her pallid cheeks. She wore a simple dark green t-shirt and jeans, though both were being devoured by the chiefs jacket that was almost as big as she was. I recognized the jacket as Uncle Charlie's, so that meant that was Bella. The girl to the right of Bella was as obvious as looking in a mirror. I was the smallest, always the smallest. In the picture my now shoulder length auburn hair was cut up to my chin, and I wore a purple sundress with yellow daisies plastered on it. I remembered how much I hated that dress. A pain of guilt stabbed into my stomach as I remembered also that my mom had made me that dress. I wore it just for her. I must have been about six or seven, somewhere around there. I let my eyes drift to the boy behind us. The face was familiar, but for the life of me I couldn't dredge up the name from the recesses of my memory. He had black hair that was almost down to his chin, gentle waves causing the black to offset his brilliant russet skin. His smile made everything feel right, it was familiar and I'll be damned if it made me smile as well. He wore cut off blue jeans and a blue t-shirt, no shoes. I took the picture and got up from the desk and sat down on the bed. With a sigh I closed my eyes and laid back onto the mattress; willing myself to remember the day this photo was taken, to remember anything from the happier times. For the time being nothing came to mind, all I could do was guess that it was the last time I had visited. Softly I grumbled as I sat up, tacking the photo onto the corkboard with the other. Then I flopped back onto the bed where the memories of that night flooded back as I dreamed the night away.

I ran after the boy in the picture, my little feet carrying me as fast as I could, calling out to him as we ran through the forest. "I'm scared..." I cooed out lightly with a giggle as I came to stand beside him. "What if we get lost?" The boy turned to me, his smile wide and exciting. "Don't worry Ri...I never get lost here. Don't worry." He peered down through the trees in anticipation. "I love this place." Just as he was about to dart out a voice rang out, clear through the trees. We sighed, trudging out of the shadows toward a blurry red house in the horizon. "Man...Dad always takes the fun away." I frowned, my stomach turning quietly in relief. The forest with its dark shadows always sent chills down my spine. I shuddered as he grabbed my hand, with a care free laugh. "C'mon, we gotta go back..."

I sat up in bed, groggy, as the sun's rays crept in through the blinds. The dream was nothing but confusion as my mind raced. I groaned as I shook my head out, rolling my eyes. :: It's 'cause of the picture.:: I thought. I sauntered over to my dresser and pulled out an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt, my eyes constantly darting towards the corkboard and the picture. With a load groan I threw my hair into a messy pony tail, my eyes straying still. It was beginning to get hard to concentrate. "FINE! Message received little boy." I grunted out as I pulled the picture off the board and stuffed it into my jackets pocket, making myself a silent promise that I would ask Charlie about it later. As I came down the stairs I found him sitting in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper for today. On the table sate a plate with some bagels and toast. As I came into the room Charlie looked up and smiled at me.

"Good morning Ri. You sleep okay?"

I took a seat, grabbing a bagel and taking a huge bite out of it. My stomach growled in satisfaction.

"Mmhnm." I muttered.

"Good to see you've got your appetite back. It's been a few days though, so I expect you to be good and hungry."

I cleared my throat and my shoulders slumped. "Uncle Charlie, I'll be fine. Really. Please don't make this difficult. Trust me."

He nodded in agreement, his eyes flicking back to the paper. "So, got any plans today?"

Any plans? Really? "Not really. I really don't have a way to.." Before I could finish my sentence I was forced to catch the keys in mid-air, before they slammed on the table. When I looked up I noticed that Charlie hadn't moved and inch. I gently tossed the keys back and forth in my hands, feeling the weight and the confusion of them.

"The keys to your cousin's old truck. She says if you hurt it, she'll hurt you. She's partial to that old thing. Hell if I know why! She wants to see it in one piece when she comes back in a few months. It's already in bad shape as it is."

I smiled, surprised. "Sure thing. So Bella will be here to visit soon?" He nodded. "Thanks Uncle Charlie. Where should I go? What's to do around here?"

"You're out of school for the summer, so go wherever you want. Just stay in the next two towns. Be home by 10."

I got up, clutching the keys ready to head out of the door and explore. That was, until I stuck my hand in my pocket, my fingertips brushing the photo. I stopped mid-step and turned to Charlie, holding out the picture. "I found this in Bella's desk. You remember this?"

He took it gently, chuckling. "Yeah. That's from the only time your mom and you stayed here on a visit. That's you, Bells, and Jacob. The Black family are old friends of ours. They live up the way at La Push. They know you're here, although you might not remember them. You two were inseparable, though Jacob's a year or so older than you. That kids growing up so fast."

Jacob. That was his name. It rang out like a bell, so familiar to me. Suddenly my young voice was echoing through me, calling out his name, "Jake! Wait for me!" I turned to Uncle Charlie and said goodbye and left, trotting up to the old red '53 pickup truck in the driveway. The paint was chipped and faded in spots, a few dents here and there in it's body. I honestly didn't care though, any way of transportation was better than nothing at all. The door groaned in protest as I climbed in and started the engine; it roared to life as if it was a groggy bear that had just been prodded awake. I chose a direction and drove blindly, not knowing the town or where exactly it was I was headed. Finally I came up to a long stretch of beach and pulled over.

As I stepped out of the truck a cool breeze buffeted me and whipped my hair, stinging my face like tiny electric bees. I jerked up the neck of my sweater and made my way onto the light sand where I slipped off my shoes. I left them just far enough inshore that the surf wouldn't cross them. Slowly I began to stroll down the length of the beach, the cool water lapping at my toes and the sand every few yards. I took a deep breath, inhaling the cool salt water air with each step. Eventually I sat on the sand and watched the horizon as the sun started setting, my concept of time non-existent. Once the moon was in high in the sky it glowed like a beacon, the stars shone meek in comparison. The sound of the waves lapping at my toes and breaking on the shore was comforting, and I let my eyes drift shut to the melody. I had gone into a sort of trance, body stiff and breathing shallow. Slowly I was brought out of my meditations by my body's gentle shake as it told me that I had had enough cold. The breeze and the mist of the water a harsh reminder of the elements. As I was getting up to head back to the truck I heard whooping in the distance, followed by some playful chatter. Pulling my jacket in closer around me I peered out from beneath my hood.

As I watched three teens strolled along the beach, stopping by the large pile of driftwood I passed by earlier. They all sat down, using the driftwood as benches. Eventually their faces turned in my direction. It was too dark to discern any details of them, my curiosity peaking as I padded closer. Suddenly flames erupted in front of the group: a fire. My body trembled, pleading for the warmth of the embers. Until now, I hadn't noticed how cold it had gotten. It was bad enough that my teeth had started chattering. I heard a boy's voice call out to me from the group.

"Hey, come on over!"

:: You don't know them..:: my mind buzzed. :: They could be trouble. Look...they travel in a pack..:: I turned around, ready to head back when another voice yelped out:

"Hey..Bella's cousin, right?..We won't bite."

Curiosity got hold of me and I strolled over slowly. At the fire the three boys came into view. They were all wearing heavy jackets and looked alike, and I could only assume they were related somehow. They all had the same russet skin tone and the gorgeous jet black hair. As I went to take a closer look at the other two boys the third one strolled up and greeted me. He was taller then I was, then again who isn't, though I could tell by his gangly figure and round face that he was still just a boy. His jet black hair was chin-length, sticking out at random angles with a shaggy appearance. The kind of 'just rolled out of bed' look that takes hours for any female. His smile, as large as he was tall, turned into a welcoming grin as he offered me his hand.

"My name's Seth. Seth Clearwater. You're Bella's cousin, Riley, right? I just noticed her truck, so that's how I knew."

I nodded. "Yeah I am. Man, this must be a small town if you all know who I am already."

The boy that sauntered up to Seth's left chuckled out. "That, and there isn't much going on in this town." He smiled his impish grin, "I'm Quil." He was the only one of the two with his hair in a buzz cut, and seemed more burlier than Seth.

I turned to the last boy sitting by the fire as Seth rambled on, making sure I nodded every once in a while to humor him. However, I didn't hear a word coming from the boy's mouth as the other boy kept all of my focus. He appeared to be the tallest of the group. His whole frame appeared relaxed as he leaned up against the driftwood. There was a certain glow to his russet skin that the others did not have. As continued to stare I found myself fixated on his dark chocolate brown eyes, turned up slightly as he smiled down at me. That smile, that big goofy grin just seemed to draw me in while it sent chills down my spine. It seemed so familiar, a sense of home in a strange new place. Next to Seth, I couldn't help but notice his broad frame as he stood in front of me, arms crossed. Pulling his hood down I noticed that that gorgeous black hair was cut short and was ruffled slightly. The picture flashed in my mind as a sense of deja-vu hit. :: It's him. :: I thought. :: Mission accomplished, little boy.::

"You probably don't remember me." He replied, smiling. "You used to come over all the time when we were kids my Dad said."

"Jacob, right?" I interrupted, smiling as my fingers grazed the picture in my pocket. :: He'd think you're weird for having that.:: I thought to myself. However, even if they were old childish memories, those good memories were keeping me sane for the time being.

"Yeah." He replied, seeming satisfied as he smirked. "You have some memory." He came closer, his voice a low whisper "I heard why you're here. I'm sorry" Genuine remorse shone in dark chocolate orbs and I fought off a wave of emotion.

"It's...fine, um, I've got to head back. Charlie..." was the only thing I could muster.

I didn't even say goodbye. Later I'd regret that. I took off to the truck, fighting back tears as my body shook from the cold that suddenly attacked me. I knew coming here would be a bad idea. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without others asking me how I was doing or expressing their condolences. I just wanted to forget some of the pain and begin to heal, even if it was slowly behind a happy mask that I hid. It seemed no one was letting me do that. I hopped in and started the ignition with a violent jolt of the key. I could only hope that this rust bucket could take me as fast as I felt like going.

"Hey now," I heard Jacob's voice bellow, and next instant he leaned into the driver's window. "Be nice to this old thing. I put a lot of work into her. Just recently brought her back to life not long ago." He emphasized the last bit, flashing a smirk. I thought it was a ploy to make me feel guilty. It worked.

"I'm sorry. I have to get back though."

"Okay," He responded, running his hands through his hair. "You know, Charlie loves us. He won't care what time you're back. Why don't you stay? You look like you could use some fun."

I shook my head, maybe a little too vigorously, and thanked him before driving down the road with the roar of the engine. As I drove, everything began to spin. The trees to my side seemed to be zooming by too fast, the moon in the distance a blur of white. I blinked, trying to force it away and screamed out my frustration. Maybe I was just tired? I shook myself, straightening up in the seat and gripping the steering wheel tight. The world spun faster and my body began to shake violently, teeth chattering. I fumbled for the heater, which to my luck, was broken. "Great!" I yelped, catching myself as the big truck swerved slightly. I hadn't gotten but a mile or so from the beach when something black darted in front of the truck. I pressed hard on the brakes, the old beast coming to a halt with a loud squeal. I looked out of my rear mirror, hoping I hadn't hit something. "Just great, your day's going great." I hissed, biting on my lip as I saw nothing.

The next second something hit the back of the truck, pushing it feet forward. I screamed and jumped, cursing. As I went to look back it struck again, jolting the truck a few more feet. Again and again it came, the edge of the ledge crept slowly closer. I could almost feel the whip of the sea breeze beckoning me. I darted for the door handle. It didn't budge. I threw myself across the seat to the other one. Again, no success. One more slam, and the next instant the truck soared over the cliff with a groan. I screamed though it seemed as if I was barely yelping. My body was thrown up as the truck broke the water, the ice cold liquid flooding in fast. The water shocked me and I gulped for air as it filled the cabin. Ice filled my lungs and I coughed, watching the bubbles escaping my mouth. My fists pounded at the windows feebly before everything went black.

(A/N: Reviews please! ^_^ Will make me update faster!)