I do not own Percy Jackson or any of its characters.
Why did it have to be him?
Why did he have to be the one who was stuck with these feelings of self-loathing.
Sadness.
Regret.
Rage.
He wondered what a life without these feelings would feel like. The memories where he was smiling were buried deep in his mind and he couldn't seem to remember why he had smiled.
There was nothing to smile about.
When was it when he had started losing himself?
When did he start falling, and was too tired to pull himself back up?
Where did the downward spiral of depression, that he was falling in, come from?
His life was full of questions that he couldn't seem to answer.
...maybe it was a good thing... maybe it wasn't.
xxx
He had found a way to cope when the pain had started.
Well... You couldn't really consider it coping since it was self harm. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that it eased the pain.
If only for a short time.
But it helped him get through the day without breaking.
It was unhealthy, but it worked.
xxx
Just one more.
That was what he told himself when he started cutting.
Nico was 15.
Four years of 'just one more' was a sign that he wasn't going to stop any time soon.
xxx
He was pathetic.
slice.
Worthless. He wasn't special, in fact, he wasn't anything.
slice.
A waste of space. He couldn't do anything else besides wallow in his fucking misery.
slice.
Stupid. He resorted to cutting when feeling became too hard to handle.
slice.
Unwanted. Nobody gave a shit about him.
slice.
An outcast. Everyone steered clear of him.
slice.
xxx
It felt like a movie.
A movie where the main character was depressed. The movie would tell the persons life story and hard times they were going through at that moment. The movie would progress to where another character comes in and notices what the MC is going though and tries to help them. Then the movie ends when the MC starts to trust the side character and gets pulled out of their depression. The two live happily ever after.
But no one was going to notice what he's been going through. Nobody cared.
Sometimes, he would just sit and stare at his cabin door and wait for someone to come in and have this worried look on their face. Someone who can save him from himself.
He doesn't know why he gets his hopes up. It'll never happen.
He has to save himself first.
But that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
He doesn't get his happy ending.