Both Sides of Burke
AN: I'm not sure where this story came from. But I like the beginning. I have no I idea where I am going or where I'll end up. So, just enjoy the ride. JL
Neal shook his head. "Don't believe it, El."
Elizabeth Burke watched her house guest closely as they both sipped wine, sitting in the living room.
"Peter would never…."
"I know he would never lie to you. And I'm sure he believes what he's told you." Neal explained. "But you didn't hear him talking to those other agents. Maybe he and Agent Rice should partner up. They seem to share the same low opinion of me."
El nodded. She remembered Agent Rice, and Peter had told her how badly that she had treated Neal. The agent had even told El the whole 'tool in her belt' thing. And she remembered how angry that statement, even just repeating Rice's words had made Peter.
"Neal," El pleaded. "Peter was not happy when he told me what Rice had said to you and about you. He was very angry."
"Yeah," Neal said, sounding defeated. "There's probably a load of paperwork he would have to do to explain 'losing' a C.I., if anything had happened to me when Rice set me up to be kidnapped."
"NEAL!" El couldn't believe what Neal was saying. There had to be more to this than what Neal was saying. And when Peter came home from work that evening, she was going to find out what it was. "You mean more to him, to us, than…."
Neal shook his head and then stood up, looking at his watch. "I better go, Peter will be home soon. And I'm supposed to help June with her fundraiser tonight."
El stood up when Neal did. She didn't want him to leave like this. She had wanted to talk to him a little more. She wanted to convince Neal that they did still care about him.
Neal headed to the door, without another word, and he was gone. El watched him walk up the street until she could not see him anymore.
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Peter had sent Neal home early. He had been sure the conman and his bald-headed cohort were up to something. And it was killing him that he could find no proof of his suspicions. He knew Neal was good, very good, amazingly good at hiding his plans and schemes. But the agent was tired of having to always look for things that the conman might be into. He had just wanted to do his job, and catch the criminals that the bureau had on their roster. Not have to make sure that his C.I. always staying on the 'straight and narrow.' It was annoying and, frankly, he was tired of it. He had blown off some steam to some other agents a day or so ago, just talking. They had asked about Neal. And he had been in just the right mood to give them an earful.
Peter regretted some of the things he had said about Neal, the moment that he had said them. Now, he was regretting it all. He knew that he was exaggerating. But all the frustration and pressure of the job had built up and he needed a release. And those agents' questions had been it. He had said far too much and had painted Neal in a very bad light that the conman did not deserve.
Peter did not know that Neal had heard some of the things that had been said. Neal had forgotten his fedora and had come back into the office to get it. He had also left a tie and some case files he had wanted to work on at home. He stayed only a few moments, not wanted to be seen by either Peter or the agents Peter was speaking too. But, he had heard enough.
It was a good thing that he had left when he did because his phone rang just as the elevator door closed. Had the phone rang in the office, the agents would have heard it and he would have been discovered. He answered the phone quickly, it was El. She wanted his discerning palette to help her pick the appetizers for an upcoming art gallery showing.
When Elizabeth opened the door to let the conman in, she could tell something was wrong. She didn't say anything about it, at first. But when Neal's mood didn't lift, she decided to broach the subject.
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"I had a very interesting…conversation with Neal this afternoon." El said as she sat the table for dinner.
Peter had already sat down, his coat draped on the back of his chair. "Oh, really." Peter had no idea what El was talking about. He didn't even know that Neal had been there. "What…Why didn't he stay for supper?"
"I called him over. I needed his palette. He didn't stay because of you. He's angry with you. And so am I." El added.
Peter looked at his wife in surprise. "What did I do?"
"What did you do?" El asked. "Do you always talk about Neal that way behind his back? If you really feel that way about him, Peter, you need to send him back to prison. You're gonna get him killed."
Peter opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Then he realized what she was referencing. But Neal had already gone home. He was sure of it.
El saw the light bulb come on above her husband's head. "He said he forgot his fedora, a tie, and some files. He stayed when he heard your conversation. He was just getting into the elevator when I called. You…." She shook her head. "How could you, Peter?"
"I was just…I didn't mean it, El." Peter tried to explain. "I was…I was just extra aggravated with him today. And, I…some of the other agents were there. They were asking me how things were with Neal. And I…I was just blowing off steam. I just…I felt bad as soon as I said what I did. And I…I explained to them that I was having a bad day, and I was blaming it on Caffrey. But, of course, unfortunately, he didn't hear that part."
"He said maybe you and Agent Rice need to team up, since you both seem to share the same low opinion of him." El said, repeating part of what Neal had told her.
"El…" Peter said, shaking his head vehemently. "You know that that is not true." If Peter could have killed the woman for what she had done to Neal, he would have. And Neal knew that. He had witnessed it. For Neal to think that now, the conman had to believe the absolute worst of Peter.
El nodded. "I do, Peter. But I'm not the one you have to convince."
Peter grabbed his coat off the back of his chair. "Can you shut dinner off, Hon? We need to go for a ride."
El nodded and turned the stove off. She quickly cleaned up the kitchen and then they headed out the door.
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As it turned out, El and Peter did not catch Neal at home. He had left, as soon as he returned to the mansion, to help June. Neal was singing a few songs tonight. He wanted to make sure he got a little practice in and got an idea of the acoustics so that he would be ready. He didn't sing in public often. He loved to sing, and he had been told often enough that he had a nice voice that he believed it. But, he didn't like how vulnerable it made him feel, sometimes. It was a level of sharing that he just didn't do very often.
The Burkes were met by Carlotta at the door. She told them about the fundraiser that June was having and where it was being held. They hurried over, hoping to get a chance to speak with Neal before the event began.
As soon as they stepped into the venue, they heard a beautiful, clear, male voice. They started to track down the source of the sound. They stopped in their tracks and just stared when they found to whom the voice belonged. Several of the workers who were still putting up the decorations and those who were sitting the tables had also stopped working were listening to the 'free concert' that they were being given. Neal looked smiled and and nodded when he realized he had a audience. His smile got bigger when he applauded.
"A man of many talents, huh." El replied as she and Peter came over to Neal, still sitting at the piano. "That was…you have an amazing voice."
"Thank you." Neal replied.
"So, you're providing the entertainment tonight." Peter said, not really asking, but sort of verifying.
Neal ignored Peter's question. "I know this place is not out of my radius." He paused. "Why are you here?"
Peter took a breath. He didn't want to argue with Neal now, not here, not in public. "You heard some things that…that should have never been said, Neal. I was…."
"Then why did you say them?" Neal asked.
Peter sighed. "Because I was angry, because I was frustrated with you, and because the opportunity presented itself. When those agents asked me how the whole C.I. thing was going, I just…. I said things that I shouldn't have. I badmouthed you. And you deserved none of it. I am truly sorry." The agent paused. "I then explained a little of the situation to the agents. And I told them I had spoken out of line. I made sure that they understood that what I had said was just me…having a bad day."
Neal didn't say anything. And from the expression on his face, Peter could tell that the conman didn't quite believe him.
"It wasn't fair for me to say those things about you. I know that. You didn't deserve to be talked about that way. I am very sorry, Neal. I just…I don't know what else to say."
"If you hate working with me that much, Agent Burke, send me back to prison. But until then, I promised June I would help her out." Neal replied, getting up from the piano bench and walking away from the couple.
El and Peter knew of nothing else that they could do. They watched Neal walking away from them for a moment. They then made their way out of the venue and back to their home.
"That did not go well." Pete said as he took off his jacket and hung it on the back of his chair.
The agent looked at his wife curiously, waiting for her to reply. But El didn't say anything. She just started dinner again.
"What, El? What is it?" Peter asked, he was already guessing he was not going to like what she was about to say.
El stopped and looked at her husband. "Do you?"
"What?" Peter asked. It was a fairly open question. They had not really spoken on the way home, so he had not point of reference.
"Do you hate working with Neal?" She asked.
Peter considered her question before he answered. "There are some times that are better than others. Neal keeps me on my toes. But I don't hate working with him. No."
"Neal was right about one thing, Peter." El paused. "And before you say anything, just hear me out. He was right when he compared you to Agent Rice, Hon. You do treat him like he's a tool in your belt. He's just another weapon in your arsenal. You never let him enjoy any of his successes. And he's…he's always having to prove himself to you. You never…you don't give him credit, Peter. And he…he deserves that. He's earned it. He's worked very hard for you, and for the agency. Neal is…."
"Hon, I…." Peter started.
El shook her head. She was not finished. "Neal's a criminal, Hon. You can't condemn him for what he is, what he does. That was the very reason you wanted to work with him, in the first place. He's not a saint, Peter. He's never claimed to be. He never made you any promises in that regard. You can't ask him to act in a criminal way and then punish him because your plan didn't work the way you had wanted it to." She paused. "That's not his responsibility. He's not responsible for how the entire criminal world acts, any more than you are responsible for how any other agent in the FBI acts."
"I'm not…. I've never…. I don't…." Peter couldn't argue. El was right, unfortunately, on all counts. He did tend to blame Neal when a 'sting' didn't go as planned. He didn't let Neal celebrate their victories. And, he did have a tendency to treat the conman more like a weapon than a person. Peter sometimes, he realized, seemed to forget he was dealing with a person with feelings."
Peter sighed and sat down at the dining table. "How do I fix this?"
El shook her head. "I don't know, Hon." She said as she brought both their filled plates to the table. "I…Neal needs to be able to trust you. I don't know how you're going to get that back."
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Neal didn't talk to Peter the rest of the weekend, beyond the moment that Peter and El showed up at the fundraising venue. He was so glad that they were off for the weekend. He needed and little time and a little space. The fundraiser and the weekend off did that.
Usually, the first thing Neal did when he come in in the morning was to go up to Peter's office and park himself in the chair in front of Peter's desk. The conman was always anxious to find out the 'agenda' for the day. Peter was extremely surprised when he looked up, realizing that it was past 9 a.m. and saw Neal sitting at his desk working on something. The agent guessed that he was finishing reports from older cases. He was not sure. Usually he would almost have to bride the conman to do his reports. Neal hated reports. And, truth be told, the agents hated them, too. But they were a necessary evil of the job. And the more you did them the easier they go to do and the faster you seemed to get them done.
Peter went out of his office and called Neal up. The conman looked up at Peter. He then left his desk and headed up to the agent's office. Neal waited at the door. He didn't automatically take a seat, as usual.
"Neal, I…." Peter started.
The conman shook his head. "Just tell me when I'm going back." He said, stopping Peter.
The agent just stared for a moment. He had not expected that. "Neal, I'm not sending you back."
"I have things to do, Peter. I need a little notice." The conman continued as if Peter had never spoken.
"Neal, you are not going back to prison." Peter repeated himself.
Neal looked at Peter for just a moment. He then just turned and left Peter's office.
"Neal!"
Neal stopped and turned.
"I called you up here, Caffrey." Peter said a little irritated with Neal's attitude. "We are not finished yet."
Neal came back into the office. He stood in the doorway.
"What is going on with you?" Peter asked.
Neal just looked at the agent, wondering how in the world he could even asked that question. "What's going on with me, Agent Burke?" It was Neal's turn to be irritated. "Are you sure you really want to know?"
Peter just stared at the young conman, knowing that he, for sure, was not going to like what Neal had to say.
"What's wrong with me?" Neal started to pace. "I'm tired, Agent Burke. I'm tired of your constant mistrust of my motives. I tired of having to prove myself to you every day." He paused for emphasis. "Every. Single. Freakin. Day. I have to prove myself to you…to everybody at White Collar. You told me you didn't believe what you told those other agents. But, that is not entirely true. Otherwise, you would have a little more faith in me. But…but you don't."
Peter could see the emotion behind those clear blue eyes. But he didn't know what to say.
"So…send me back, Peter. Just send me back…" Neal paused. "…because, doing the right thing shouldn't…shouldn't be this hard."
THE END
END NOTES: I don't think it's terribly clear here what I meant by my title, 'Both Sides of Burke.' But, to me, there's the agent who loved the 'idea' of working with Neal. Versus the agent faced with the 'reality' of working with Neal. And, as we all know, just from general life experience, the reality and the ideal don't always match up. In fact, most of the time, we get severely disappointed by the 'reality' of the situation. So, if any of you guys were wondering. That was my thought process for this story. I hope you enjoyed. And remember, reviews and alerts feed the writer's soul. JL