IF YOU ARE READING THIS…

If you are reading this, I am Dead… or Worse; Expelled… or just Taken

Let me begin at the beginning.

I was riding the Express home with Hermione and Ron. My Crazy yet INNOCENT Godfather sent an owl to us telling us he was heading far away to recover from his prolonged confinement. The Owl was now Ron's too.

After exiting the Train and the Wall, Uncle Vernon collected me and Dudley, before we drove to #4 Privet Drive. While in the car, I might have let slip that the escaped Madman everyone was looking for was my Bloodsworn Godfather, and a Wizard from a Dark Family. I offered the Deal of one good gardening, front and back yards, the envy of the neighborhood, they leave me alone while I work, and I would be gone in a week.

Vernon agreed.

Petunia Agreed.

Dudley grunted.

When I got to #4, I let Hedwig loose to hunt, and drug my things up to my room. I then walked the yard as I planned the work ahead. After Dinner I ordered some Dragon-dung fertilizer and some Hippogriff. I tied my order to Hedwig with a few gold and went to bed. In the morning , making Breakfast and starting a Pot Roast (braised five pound beef roast, chunks of carrots and a quartered onion), I started with mowing the lawn, and pulling the weeds. Then I trimmed the hedges and pruned the roses.

About Noon Hedwig and three Owls touched down near me with shrunken packages. Bring the running hose nearby, I removed the packages from the owls, who drank from the water before winging it home. Hedwig nibbled my fingers before heading to the nearest tree to sleep.

I used a wheelbarrow to mix two parts Hippogriff to one part Dragon, and spread it thinly over the whole front lawn, then watered to wash the grass clean. I then mixed two parts Dragon to one part Hippogriff, and spread it heavy around the the base of Aunt Petunia's roses. I watered heavily, rinsing the barrow out, and put away my tools.

Inside I washed off, changed into my school trousers and button-down, and headed down to finish Dinner.

Aunt Petunia was sitting at the table reading a Gardening Magazine, as the Crock-pot burbled away next to the cooker. Placing a pot, twice the size of my cauldron, on a burner, I filled it halfway with water, a pinch of salt, and a pat of butter. While waiting for the water to come to a boil, I grabbed three pounds of tubers, and washed and peeled them. Cubing them, I dropped them into the roiling water, and covered the pot.

"Why you doing that?" there was no sneer in Petunia's question

"A friend was talking about a recipe for mashed potatoes made from scratch." I went to the cooler. As I looked within, "To be a bit healthier, we should have a salad or something." I look over my shoulder at her. "Last year Dudders complained that the Potatoes were not mushy enough. Vernon has his inspection today, and Pot Roast is his favorite dish, and Pot Roast needs potatoes." Closing the door, I turn back, "This way I get to appease the tastes of both." I sat across from her, "I am planning on using the stock from the roast for a gravy."

"What were you doing outside...the smell was …"

"Yes." I smirk at her, "Mrs Figg's roses." her eyes widen, "I found out that She uses imported fertilizer."

"How imported." the gleam in her eyes...

"Dragon dung."

Petunia eeped. Before she frowned, "How do you know?"

"Four years ago, when you three went to Brighten for the weekend. She had me help her spread that crap around her Roses." I tapped the in bored manner, "One of my Core Classes is Herbology, and this year we spent a whole month examining the effects of the different dung has on plants. What really was the fact that a witch in my dorm, got a cat." I get up and get a glass of water for us both. Mine from the Tap, her from a pitcher in the cooler with slices of cucumber. Placing her glass within reach, but out of the way, I sat again. "He is a beast of a Tom, smushed face, funky legs. Think Ripper as an orange tom cat."

Petunia hissed.

"Figg has a few cats that look like that. Turns out Crookshanks is not just a cat, but a Kneazle half breed." I pause for a few heartbeats, "Kneazles are Magical Cats. Smarter than your average tabby, and very protective of their Humans."

"You mean that woman is a …"

"Squib."

"What?"

"Squib. A non-magical born of magical parents." a sip of water. "Like you."

"WHAT?"

"A whispered rumor among the Old Blooded Houses, Overheard a couple of sixth year Ravens debating that most muggleborn are really from lines of the cast out Squibs from the pureblood Houses. If I was allowed to cast the charm, I most likely could see your Core. I can almost guarantee that Dudders is squib too."

"What!" she hissed.

"To be that big, and yet to be able to …" I let the line of thought fade, before grabbing a new one, "There are two boys, my year, that I swear to God, the only way they keep advancing is bribes paid to the school. They look alot like Dee, but not as smart, or if I were to guess, magically talented."

"Enough." she rinsed her mouth out with the water, "See to dinner." she swept from the kitchen.

That is all I have time for now. If my Keepers decide to allow it, I might write more later. As I only trust Hedwig, with this and the wards about this place are , I am told, War Wards, only non magical parchment can pass through, Do Not Charm My Owl or ANY Mail you want her to deliver.

Harold James Potter

HJP