CHARMED
"In Hot Water"
By J. B. Tilton (a.k.a. NoAzMale) and Teri Thibeault (a.k.a. K
Disclaimer: "Charmed" and all related characters and events are the property of the WB television network, except for those characters specifically created for this story. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement of copyright is intended.
When the water heater goes out in the manor, the girls discover that it can only be replaced by bureaucracy demons. And this, it turns out, is the good news.
ONE
Leo and Cole came up out of the basement. Both of their shoes and socks were soaked through. They also had water all over them as if they had been splashing around in a pool. Piper, Phoebe, and Paige were waiting in the kitchen for them.
"Well?" Piper questioned. "Did you find out what the problem is?"
"Yes," said Leo. "Apparently the water heater has gone bad. There's water all over the basement."
"The drain got plugged," said Cole. "We were able to clear the plug and it shouldn't be long before the water drains away."
"The bad news is I think the water heater needs to be replaced," said Leo. "I shut off the water and we won't be able to turn it back on until we replace the water heater."
"Great," said Piper. "How much is that going to cost?"
"Well," said Leo, "to be honest I've never replaced a water heater before. But I think they run about $400.00 or $500.00 each. It will depend on the type, brand, size, all kinds of things."
"Five hundred dollars?" Piper howled. "Oh that's great. How long will it take to replace?"
"Not long," said Leo. "Maybe a couple of hours. I've never replaced one but I looked it over. It seems pretty straight forward."
"Well," said Piper, looking at her watch, "by the time we get to the store it will be closed. I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow to get a new one."
"What?" Phoebe asked. "What are we going to do without water? We can't do the dishes, can't take showers, I won't even be able to brush my teeth. What are we supposed to do until we get the new water heater hooked up?"
"We deal with it," said Piper.
"That's easy for you to say," said Paige. "If I go to work without a shower I'll be running the clients off. My boss isn't going to very happy about that."
"We'll deal with it," said Piper. "I don't see we have much other choice."
"Well," said Paige, "I suppose I could call my boss in the morning and ask for the morning off. I'm sure he'll understand when I explain why."
"That's the spirit," said Cole. "We can just pretend we're camping or something."
"I hate camping," said Phoebe.
"Look," said Piper, "we'll go down to the store the first thing in the morning and get a new water heater. We'll bring it home and Leo and Cole can hook it up for us. With any luck we'll have the water back on by noon and this will all be behind us."
"Fine," said Phoebe. "I guess one night without a shower won't hurt me."
"Good," said Leo. "With Cole's help I should be able to hook it up pretty quickly."
"Me?" questioned Cole. "Why me? I've never done anything like that before."
"Because," said Phoebe, "you and Leo are the men of the house. It's your job to do all the dirty, heavy work."
"Really?" questioned Cole. "What happened to being independent and standing on your own?"
"Being independent also means knowing when to let someone else do the work," said Piper. "Come on, Leo. Since I can't do dishes might as well take advantage of the situation and see what's on television."
"Morning folks," said a young sales clerk at the appliance store the next morning, "what can we help you with today?"
"We're looking for a hot water heater," said Piper.
"Why would you need that?" asked the clerk.
"Because the one we have right now has gone bad," said Phoebe.
"Yeah, but why do you need a hot water heater for?" asked the clerk. "Hot water doesn't need heating." He then laughed out loud. "Sorry, he said. Just a little joke, that's all."
"A very little joke," said Piper, no humor in her voice.
"I wrote down the information on the old one," said Leo, handing the young man a piece of paper. "We were hoping you might be able to suggest one comparable to it."
"Let's see," said the man, looking at the paper. "Boy, this is an old one. I think they stopped making this particular model about twenty years ago. But I think I can get you a substitute that should work even better than the old one."
They followed him down an aisle that held a large number of water heaters. Finally the clerk stopped in front of one particular water heater.
"This one is perfect," said the clerk. "Actually it's twenty-five percent larger than the old one. In addition it heats water about thirty percent faster. And it's one of our most energy efficient models."
"How much is it?" Piper asked.
"$699.00," replied the clerk. "Now, before you freak out just let me say that the rating on this water heater is guaranteed to reduce your water bill by ten to fifteen percent per year. And it has a fifteen year warranty. And with approved credit we have a very reasonable payment plan."
"You get paid commission, don't you?" Cole asked.
"Well, yes, I do," replied the clerk.
"I thought so," said Cole. "You're a very good salesman."
"Thanks," said the clerk, smiling.
"What about other water heaters?" Piper asked. "Do you have something that maybe isn't quite so expensive?"
"Well, we do have a couple of other models," said the clerk. "But they're actually smaller than the one you have now. And to be honest they aren't the best buy. I know this seems kind of expensive but to tell you the truth it really is your best buy. Trust me, you'll save money in the long run."
"Okay, I guess we'll take it," said Piper. "I assume you take credit cards?"
"Absolutely," said the clerk. "And we even offer free delivery."
"That's okay," said Leo. "We'll take it with us. With any luck I should be able to have it installed very soon."
"Oh, are you a licensed plumber?" the clerk asked.
"Not really," said Leo. "I'm more of a handyman. But I'm sure I can install a simple water heater."
"I have no doubt of that," said the clerk. "Unfortunately the city passed a new ordinance last year. Water heaters can only be installed by a licensed plumber. And I can't even sell it to you unless you show you have a licensed plumber that can install it."
"That's ridiculous," said Phoebe. "It's only a water heater."
"A great many of which are installed improperly," said the clerk. "It's part of the city's effort to cut costs."
"This is just great," said Piper. "Now we have to hire a plumber."
"If you'd like I could recommend someone," said the clerk. "I know a guy who's very good and he'll even give you a break on the price of installing it."
"Well," said Leo, "I guess we don't have much of a choice. Otherwise we'll have to wait until we can find a plumber who can install it and that might take a few days."
"Fine," said Piper. "Let's just get this finished."
"I'll call my friend as soon as we're done here," said the clerk. "And like I said, we offer free delivery. He can bring it by this afternoon and I'm sure he can have it hooked up before dinner."
"That will be fine," said Piper. "Ring me up. I need to get home to take an aspirin."