My Wall
Definition of 'wall': a narrow upright structure, usually built of stone, wood, plaster, or brick, that acts as a boundary or keeps something in or out
Walls. There are so many different ways to interpret that word. It all basically means the same thing, you see a wall stay away. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that it took a blonde to not heed the warning walls automatically gave off.
I look down at said blonde still blissfully fast asleep and using my chest for a pillow. It's almost six but I don't have the heart to wake sleeping beauty up just yet. As the air-conditioning hits his pale skin I see him shiver and immediately have to pull the covers up to keep him warm. 'Look at what a blonde boy can do to you,' I thought with a smirk as I pull his body closer. if I had known this would be me a few years ago I would have driven myself to a mental hospital in a heartbeat.
Walls come in many forms, any kind of barrier could be considered as a wall. There are city walls, walls around places, walls in your house, steel walls in those places called banks…everywhere you look there are walls. It's just human nature to put up something to protect another thing.
If you look long enough you'll also notice however that with every wall built there is an annoying blonde twat determined to get through it. Did I say blonde twat? I meant person. Ahem.
Even though outer walls, physical walls, are considered strong, I must say that it's the inner walls that are hardest to crumble. That's what Justin did, what only Justin could do strange as it may seem.
Architects brag about how strong the walls they build are. I say screw those ignorant bastards. I top all of them in my wall building, and my fucking. My walls were built years ago and built to last a lifetime. I bet none of theirs could last that long, and I bet none of them are completely people proof like mine.
My walls were built strong from the very first stone, originally designed to keep pain out but later modified to keep everything out. Of course, my body still wanted things that my heart would normally allow, but since the walls were blocking anything from coming close my body sought out the next best thing. Pointless sex, drugs, and booze. Nothing like it.
I was living great for years behind those walls, doing whatever I wanted while knowing there could be no harmful consequences that could breach my protection. Then one night he shows up, all blonde hair, blue eyes, and innocence. And I take him home. And he doesn't leave.
It's almost like the second he saw my mile high walls he was determined to make it his life goal to either climb those walls, slink under them, or bring out a hammer and chisel to try and break the walls. Needless to say, he tried all of those ways. But I was watching and making sure he didn't succeed, just as all of the foolish souls before him didn't.
When he tried scaling the walls I made sure to find a way to make him fall off. When he didn't splat on the ground he decided to try and crawl under, only to be met with the second layer. It was around this time that prom happened. I will not go into detail as I have tried to wash that whole night permanently from my brain, but I do know that it was that night when my walls relaxed, even if only for a moment.
Once he was recovered he came back with a vengeance and brought out the big guns to try and blast the walls. When that didn't work he went off with a fiddler who didn't build walls but spun webs of deceit.
Of course, the blonde got tired of getting tangled up in webs and decided to take another shot at the walls, this time with the slow method of chisel and hammer. Though the walls have fought back from time to time, by and by he's made progress, crumbling wall after wall.
As I lay here in bed with him in my arms where he belongs I can feel him chipping away at the last remaining wall standing between me and the outside world. And even though I know my last defense is about to disappear and leave me exposed to all the harmful things I had built the walls to protect me from, I'm not worried. I'm not worried because I know that even though all my walls are almost gone, I'll still have one. Only this time, my new wall that will protect me from anything will be a blonde little twink who loves me.
As he stirs a bit to snuggle deeper into my chest I know that even though it's not the time to admit it, I love him back just as much.
Sometimes you have to put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear those walls down.