Author's Note: V is totally the kind of guy who'll buy the leg lamp.
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You love your husband. You really do. It's just that...sometimes, you question his taste in decor.
Like now, for instance.
"Sweetie, are you sure this is a good idea?" It's probably the third time you asked that in the last hour, and you already know what his answer will be.
"Why wouldn't it be?" He looks up, and dammit, he has that smile on his face. It's the smile that you're stupidly weak to, because it's so bright and joyous that you can't help but melt whenever you see it. Still, you remind yourself that you have to remain strong.
"Isn't it a little…" You try to think of the correct word. "...saucy, I guess?"
Saucy. Yes, that's an apt descriptor for the hideous monstrosity that V had purchased.
V has the decency to look bashful. "I suppose so." He looks back down at the lamp in his lap, and you can't help but cringe when he thoughtfully strokes it.
"Please don't do that." You say. "It...it looks just wrong when you do that."
"Sorry." He stops, and you secretly thank god for it. "I know it's, er, not the most tasteful thing in the world…."
"You think?" You giggle, partly because you find this situation amusing and partly because of your nerves. "V, it's a giant leg-shaped lamp that looks like it's wearing fishnet stockings. What the hell were you thinking when you bought it?"
"Um…." He scratches his head, "I think it was 'wow, that's the tackiest thing I've ever seen in my life, I need to have it?'"
You laugh again, this time in relief. At least he also thinks that it's ugly; you were seriously concerned that he actually thought it was pleasing to the eye. "And where're you going to put it? Because there's no way you're setting that up in the living room, honey."
He smiles, probably glad that you weren't planning on divorcing him. "Well, I was going to put it in here, our bedroom. I don't need it tainting our children's innocent eyes, and Jumin will never let me hear the end of it if he sees it." His smile grows wider. "Granted, it would be hilarious…"
"Ohhhh, no." You wag your finger at him. "Don't get any funny ideas, mister. I don't need Zen busting down our doors to lecture me about men being wolves, thank you very much."
He pouts, but you know that he's just being playful. "I'm hurt. What made you think that I was planning something?"
"I'm married to you, V." You say, poking his nose. "I know that you like to mess with Jumin and pretend to be all cute and innocent when he freaks out."
"But it is fun—"
You hear the door to your house slam open and shut, followed by the sound of running footsteps.
"Mom! Dad!"
...Shit.
Without thinking, you grab the Christmas quilt that's on your bed and throw it onto V's lap, ignoring your husband's laughter. No way were you going to traumatize your children for life by subjecting them to that eyesore.