Final Fantasy 7&12, a final fantasy vii fanfic

Final Fantasy 7 ½

It was a nice sunny day at the beach, and the whole final fantasy seven gang was hanging out. They had been having a party for the victory of the team.

Cid: Hey Cloud, where ya at? *He runs around the beach house looking for him*

Cloud: I'm over here, I've told you that already.

Cid: But where is here? I can't find you and I've got something important to say. *He stops running around and stands still* It has to do with Vincent.

Cloud: *Comes up from behind him and jumps on Cid's shoulders* Oh really? What might that be? He conjures as he runs over to be in front of Cid.

Cid: Why must you always do that? You, just about, gimmie a heart attack each time!

Cloud: Well, sorry, but what was this very important news you had to tell me.

Cid: He just stopped by, her didn't quite tell us anything, but he quickly stopped by then was out of sight.

Aeris: Hey! Cid! We found something by where Vincent stopped at. *She runs over to him and shows him a piece of black cloth, but unlike the cloth Vincent had usually wore before he miraculously disappeared*

Cloud: So what does this have to do with anything?

Aeris: Cloud, why must you always be so ignorant? Take a real good look at the material; does it remind you of anyone's outfit in particular? *She holds it toward him; so he takes it and carefully examines it*

Cloud: (This looks like…nah, it couldn't be. But, what if it is? Has he returned again? No, I won't believe it.)

Cloud: Um…I guess it does. *Hands it back to her*

Aeris: See, what if somehow he managed to return, again, and Vincent found out, or killed him?

Cloud: Calm down *walks over to her and touches her shoulder*

Cloud: If it is him, I've killed him before, I can do it again, can't I?"

Aeris: Guess so. *She walks away*

Yuffie: What if you can't kill him again though Cloud?

Cloud: I…I, a, dunno. *Scratches his head and makes a face*

Cid: You look like a totally confused idiot when you do that. *Laughs*

Cloud: How kind. *Smiles*

A voice that seems so close, yet so far: It's true though.

Cloud: *looks toward the others who are also looking at each other wondering who it was*

Barret: *Comes barging into the circle the three of them had made* Wuzzup with you three, you look like you just saw pigs fly.

Cid: Dunno what's up, but something's not right.

Soon after, Aeris and Red XIII come running over to them, soon followed by Marlene. "Help!!" They scream as they run past the four of them.

Cloud: What is it?

Aeris: It's Sephiroth! He's back! She shouts as she picks up Marlene.

Cid, Yuffie, and Barret all cower behind Cloud. Then Yuffie and Cid run away at the sight of a shadowy figure.

Barret: Oh sh*t.

Cloud: Sephiroth? *Tilts his head a little to the left*

'Where?' Says the figure, which suddenly begins to stop.

Cloud:*walks toward the shadow, as he gets closer, he doesn't see the glowing green eyes her fears so much, he sees ruby red eyes darting back and forth.*

Cloud: Vincent!

Vincent: Huh? *Looks toward him, smiling*

Aeris and Marlene come walking back over, bursting out in laughter. Red soon follows them.

Red: That was great Vincent; they're still stunned.

Vincent: Oh, I know. Hey, like my outfit. *Shows off his new outfit made of the same material that made up Sephiroth's outfit*

Cid: Holy Sh*t, Vincent, bout gave me a d*mn heart attack! And I knew what you were doin!" *Starts laughin' with the others*

Barret: Ay, man, good ta see ya. *Quickly punches him on the shoulder*

Vincent: Where's Tifa?

Everyone: Tifa! Where are you?

Tifa: Vincent had called in, so I fixed up the place, now it's ready for a crowd, and a giant party.

Cloud: Hey, you guys all knew that it was Vincent, but you didn't tell me.

Tifa: Um, yeah.

Aeris: You should have seen the look on your face!!!

Cloud: So Sephiroth ain't here?

Everyone: No…or at least not that we know of.

Cloud: Hey, author lady, why didn't you make me know that it was Vincent?

Aimee: Cuz, I'm the author, I can do anything I want to and you looked so stupid and scared see. *Shows him a replay of when Vincent was coming out of the shadows*

Cloud: That's not nice.

Aimee: So, it's funny. Anyway, I can do what I want; I'm the author.

Aeris: Is that why I'm here?

Aimee: No, I just had to have someone else be in place of Tifa I'll dispose of you somehow. I actually hate you, no wait despise you.

Aeris: *growls* Thanks.

Aimee: Of course! Any time!

Tifa: Come on; let's get this party started!

Aimee: Wait!

Everyone: What?

Aimee: Ummm…I know! *Evil grin on face*

Barret: Uh oh, that ain't good.

Aimee: Yes it is! Now go on and get on with your party.

Everyone enters the bar and Reno, Rude, Elena, and Sephiroth sit at one of the tables.

Reno: Hey Teef, how ya doin?

Tifa: Leave, this is just an AVALANCHE party.

Reno: Oh, come on baby, lemme stay, PLEASE!!!

Elena: Yeah, pretty girl, are ya to caught up in your own pride to let us stay.

Cloud: Oh, Sh*t!!!!! Sephiroth!!!

Sephiroth: Nice to see you too. * Under his breath* Not really

Vincent: What next, we're all here, except Cait. Wow.

Sephiroth: I wanna have a party, that's the only reason I came here.

Cid: So you don't have some evil, senile, plan with you.

Sephiroth: Can you see one? *Hides paper with evil plan on it*

Cid: I mean planned out in your head you idiot!

Aeris: Cid, you just called Sephy an idiot!

Cid: Um...I'm sorry Mr. insane psycho-maniac person, one-winged angel sir, don't kill me with your um, mighty powers and stuff.

Sephiroth: I said I just want a party, so lets have a party. Otherwise, I might not be in such a good mood.

Tifa: Ok, that settles it! We're having a party.

Aimee: What about Reno, Rude and Elena?

Reno: I just want something to drink.

Elena: And to hang all over Tifa

Reno: Shut up! You weren't supposed to tell her yet.

Elena: Aimee made me.

Reno: Aimee, make her not have said that

Time goes back two minutes.

Tifa: Ok, that settles it! We're having a party.

Aimee: What about Reno, Rude and Elena?

Reno: I just want something to drink.

Elena: I feel I have to say something here, um, hello beautiful table.

Rude: Ok, that was lame. You should have said that Reno not only wants a drink, but he wants to hang all over Tifa too.

Reno: Aimee! Come on!

Time turns back a minute.

Reno: I just want something to drink.

Elena: I feel I have to say something here, um, hello beautiful table.

Rude: Aren't I supposed to say something too? Oh well. *Farts really loud* that should do.

Sephiroth: Um…Reno, wouldn't you rather hang all over Tifa than have a drink?

Reno: I give up!!

Aimee: You could tell me for everyone not to say that.

Reno: No! I said I give up!!! I don't care anymore!!

Aimee: So you want Tifa to kick you out huh?

Reno: NO!! I just want a drink.

Elena: Hello beautiful table.

Rude: Gets up and trips over an invisible black rock then walks on.

Sephiroth: This is messed up.

Aimee: No, Cloud's messed up.

Sephiroth: Good point.

Yuffie: Don't we all know that though?

Aeris: What do you mean that?

Cid: *walks over and whispers into her ear*

Aeris: What??? You mean to tell me the love of my life is…ewww!!

Tifa: That's how I felt.

Aeris: That's why you decided you liked Cid, isn't it.

Tifa: Guess you could say that, but well, he's nice too.

Cid: *smiles*

Aeris: Uhh huh.

Cloud: Can we change the subject?

Barret: What, ya embarrassed?

Cloud: No, I…I just…um…wanna talk about something else.

Tifa: Like…Isaac perhaps.

Cloud: Well, can we? Um, well, he's cool and stuff.

Aeris: And you like him???

Barret: As more than just a good friend that is.

Cloud: Well, I…a guess you could say that.

Aeris: Help me Holy.

Rude: Holy ain't gonna help you Aeris.

Holy: No I'm not.

Aeris: I know that, just I am religious. Geez, what a bad mood your in today Holy…

Tifa: Hey, when did we meet Isaac?

Cloud: You don't remember?!? *Offended look*

Tifa: No…I don't remember; guess it wasn't all that memorable to me.

Cloud: That's rude.

Barret: You've gotta give it to her; at least she's nice to him and still talks to you.

Cloud: He's not that bad; actually he's not bad at all…actually-

Sephiroth: OK!!! Off the f-in' gay talk, and lets start the party.

Reno: Tifa, you like Cid?????

Tifa: Yes, I do.

Reno: You mean to tell me that you like that f-in pilot that swears and smokes, and is what, ten years older than you?

Tifa: Yep.

Reno: But you said that you hated people who drink and smoke.

Tifa: No, I said I hate people LIKE YOU who drink and smoke, people like Cid is another story.

Reno: That's just plain wrong.

Elena: Not worse than that though.

Reno: To me it is, she is an f-in' beautiful b*tch, I just happen to like that has an ugly @$$ boyfriend!!

Rude: How would you know Cid has an ugly @$$, what you been looking?

Reno: I meant he was as ugly as an @$$.

Cid: I'll take that personally.

Reno: You were supposed to.

Tifa: *walks over and smacks Reno*

Reno: What was that…oh, sorry.

Rude: You should be.

Reno: whose side are you on anyway?

Rude: Uhh…Tifa's.

Reno: That's just rude.

Rude: Guess that's why my name is Rude.

Reno: Laney, Rude's being rude, and Tifa's gotta bad sense of taste.

Elena: So?

Reno: She deserves better.

Cid: That was rude!

Rude: No I'm Rude.

Cid: That's not what I meant.

Rude: Oh, sorry

Reno: Anyway, she does deserve better.

Elena: What you're saying is that she should like you, am I right?

Reno: Well, that's not what I'm sayin, but, that's what I mean.

Tifa: No, if I could choose, I'd choose Cid over you any day; I don't care what Elena thinks.

Elena: Are you sayin that I like Reno???

Tifa: Suppose I am.

Elena: Ooooh, you asked for this a long time ago. *Slaps her across the face*

Tifa: *slaps her back*

Elena: *back-hands her*

Tifa: *Does a limit break* There, I think I won.

Elena: I think that…that hurt.

Rude: Cool moves Miss. Lockheart.

Elena: just forget about me here.

Rude: Ok…Hey, Tifa, where'd you get that rug, I want one of my own so I can beat the *dust* out of it everyday too.

Elena: *growls*

Yuffie: Hey Fire!!! Long time no speak!!

Reno: I know.

Yuffie: Did ya miss me?

Reno: No not really. You're just a little guppy, so; swim away.

Yuffie: That was rude!

Rude: *wakes up* What about me, I didn't do it! I swear!

Yuffie: I didn't mean you, I meant impolite.

Rude: Ok. *Goes back to sleep*

Reno: Gimme a shot of scotch, will ya Tifa?

Tifa: Here ya go.

Reno: Thanks!!!

Tifa: That'll be thirty gil.

Reno: No fair, I have to pay?

Tifa: You weren't invited for the party, so you have to pay for your drinks.

Reno: *lays down thirty gil* Geez, that sucks.

Tifa: Thanks, now, if you are gonna stay, you better behave.

Reno: You know I always do. *Smiles evilly*

Aimee: Reno, not this time.

Reno: Come on, just a little bit?

Aimee: No.

Reno: Please?

Aimee: no.

Reno: Pretty please!

Aimee: no.

Reno: Pretty please with a liquor snowstorm on top?

Aimee: ok, now you're talking!

Reno: Hey Tifa, two liquor snowstorms please.

Tifa: Comin' right up.

Reno: *Grabs the drinks* Here's your drink

Aimee: just right. Ok, go ahead and get drunk.

Reno: YAAAAHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rude: Oh joyous, joyous, happy day! Reno gets to be drunk.

Yuffie: What would happen if I could rule the entire story? Wait, why did I say story? What would happen if I could rule the entire world?

Vincent: bad stuff.

Yuffie: It'd be fun! Aimee, can I please?

Aimee: Only if I can help.

Yuffie: Really!!

Aimee: Really, really.

Yuffie: COOOOOOOOOOL!

Aimee: *gives her the "power of an author"*

Yuffie: Ummm…let's give it a try. *Scribbles something on paper*

Everyone: Hello Yuffie, it's nice to see you.

Yuffie: Cool!

Aimee: Now, it's my turn.

Everyone: Hey Yuppie, go away.

Yuffie: NOT COOL!!

Aimee: Of course it is.

Elena: Hey, Yuffie, do you have a Knights Of the Round materia?

Yuffie: No, I haven't had much luck in finding any materia.

Elena: Is that so?

Yuffie: Yeah, my job isn't much fun anymore.

Reno: Hey, Yuppie, aren't you…um…afraid of ships and um…have airsickness?

Yuffie: How'd you know that?

Reno: I don't know; it just came to mind.

Barret: Ain't this supposed to be a party?

Yuffie: *Writes something on paper*

Suddenly lights and music, along with loud booming music come on.

Sephiroth: Cool…wow.

Rude: D*mn, Seph, your scaring me.

Sephiroth: What? It was cool; I mean one second nothing the next, POOF, everything you need for a party.

Cloud: Reno, get outta my way.

Reno: Get outta mine.

Barret: Reno, just get outta his way, or get your gears up.

Reno: I'm gettin', I'm gettin', *to himself* I'm gettin' tired of you guys. *Moves aside*

Cloud: Thanks Barret.

Barret: Yeah, whatever.

Reno: *To himself* Thanks Barret…yeah whatever…they just go…nay, nay, nay, blah, blah, blah.

Cloud: What was that Reno.

Reno: Oh nothing.

Cloud: Ok.

Tifa: How did this party get set up?

Yuffie: *smiles brightly*

Vincent: I think Aimee did it.

Yuffie: *growls*

Cid: Maybe Yuffie did.

Yuffie: Thank you Cid.

Red: I'm hungry.

Aeris: *grabs a can of cat food then opens it* Here you go Red.

Red: I don't like that food; I'm not a kitty either.

Aeris: Yes you are, you're a cute, adorable, little-

Red: *Does ultimate Limit break*

Aeris: *Quickly does Healing Wind* that wasn't nice.

Red: Was it supposed to be?

Aeris: Battle?

Red: Sure!

************************************************************************************

Aeris Gainsborough- 4500 / 4570HP 1090MP LIMIT BREAK - 10 HITS

Red XIII- 15000 / 15000HP 15000MP LIMIT BREAK - 7 HITS

Red XIII

-----------------------

-----------------------

Red XIII uses LIGHTNING

Aeris loses 250 HP

Aeris

--------------------------

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Aeris uses ATTACK

Red XIII loses 100HP

Red XIII

------------------------

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Red XIII uses ??!!

Aeris falls over and becomes a kitty.

************************************************************************************

Aeris: Meow!

Red: Now, come here kitty, here's you're meal.

Cloud: Where'd the cat come from?

Red: It's Aeris.

Cloud: What????

Aeris: Meow…meow, meow! (He turned me into a cat!)

Cid: That was cool! Where'd you get that ??!! materia.

Red: Mine!!! That's my secret, only me know! *Runs off into a room and locks the door*

Cait Sith: HEEEYYYYY!!!!!!! Anyone want some cake???

Barret: Can I have some?

Vincent: What's up with this? Now we're all here.

Cait Sith: *grabs a cake* Here ya go, it's dirt cake!

Barret: Thanks! *Takes a piece of cake, and bite into it*

Cait Sith: Well? What do you think?

Barret: Where did you get this?

Cait: I made it! Fresh from the garden!

Barret: *runs to the bathroom*

Everyone hears puking sounds from in there.

Aeris: Meow!

Sephiroth: Yeah.

Aeris: Meow mew

Sephiroth: Really? *Looks toward Yuffie*

Yuffie: What?

Sephiroth: Nothing.

Yuffie: Then why ya staring?

Sephiroth: I ain't staring! Aeris just told me something about you that I found funny.

Yuffie: Aeris is a cat!! She can't talk! Admit it, you like me.

Sephiroth: EEEEWW, me like you? *Gagging sound* Aeris can to talk, come on Aeris talk.

Aeris: Mew?

Sephiroth: She doesn't believe I can understand you.

Aeris: *looks madly at Yuffie* hisssssssss….

Yuffie: Oh boy, now Sephiroth is talking to cats. *Walks out of the room*

Reno: And I thought I was drunk.

Sephiroth: I'm not drunk!! Aeris, mew meow meow. I told her to scratch you on your left cheek.

Aeris: *walks over to Reno and scratches his left cheek*

Reno: Ooooowwwww!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: Told you I wasn't drunk.

Reno: It was luck.

Vincent: There is no such thing as luck.

Reno: Yes there is.

Vincent: No, there isn't.

Reno: Yes, there is

Vincent: NO there isn't!!!!

Reno: *stands up and walks toward him* YES THERE IS!!!

Vincent: *smacks him* NO THERE ISN'T!!!

Reno: *punches him* YES THERE IS!!!

Vincent: *knees him really hard* NO THERE ISN'T!!!

Reno: YES THERE IS!!!!

Vincent: *grabs Reno's hair* No there isn't!!!

Reno: Ok, no there isn't, there's no such thing as luck, just let go of my hair.

Vincent: Why should I?

Reno: *In baby voice* Cuz you're really cool, and-

Vincent: *tugs his hair even harder* Say something you mean.

Reno: *In high pitched squeaky voice* Cuz I love my hair!!! It's sacred; just leave it alone.

Vincent: *lets go of his hair* There's no such thing as luck.

Reno: Ok, there's no such thing as luck! *Looks at hair and kisses it*

Yuffie: That's funny!! *Laughs so hard tears are falling from her eyes*

Vincent: *Smiles*

Reno: *to his hair* It's ok; he won't hurt you anymore. He will never get near you anymore.

Sephiroth: I thought Cloud was crazy about his hair…

Cloud: What about my hair?

Sephiroth: It looks like a porcupine.

Cloud: That's not very nice.

Rude: Great come back Pinhead.

Cloud: Shut up cue ball!

Reno: Don't make fun of Rude!

Cloud: Why not?

Reno: Um, I don't know.

Rude: Why don't you just shut up now.

Reno: I'm just trying to help.

Cloud: Why don't you both shut up, before that dead squirrel on Reno's head awakes from the dead and runs away.

Reno: WHAT?????

Cloud: You heard me.

Reno: My hair is not a squirrel; it's just unusual, a breakout from the rest of society, but not a squirrel, dead or alive!

Elena: Hey Cloud, I like that name. It's great.

Cloud: Thanks!

Reno: Laney, shut up.

Elena: Don't call me that.

Edea: Hello.

Red: Who are you?

Edea: My name is Edea, what is yours?

Red: Nanaki or Red XIII.

Barret: You're not from Final Fantasy Seven.

Squall: Neither am I.

Seifer, Quistis, and Rinoa: Us either.

Yuffie: Who are you people?

Selphie, Zell, and Irvine: We are from Final Fantasy Eight.

Tifa: Well what are you doing in this story?

Cid: Story?

Tifa: I meant Planet.

Selphie: I don't know. I'm only a seventeen-year-old named Selphie.

Yuffie: You're my age!!!! I'm sixteen.

Selphie: Guess I'll stay.

Seifer: Well, I'm leaving.

Quistis: Me too.

Irvine: Me three.

Rinoa: What they said.

Squall: Idioce Amigos.

They all walk out the door, minus Zell and Selphie.

Cloud: Why'd you two stay.

Selphie: Cuz she's my age!!!!!!!!!!

Zell: *bluntly* Cuz I find you attractive.

Cloud: You what????!!!!

Zell: Yeah.

Barret: Leave now!

Sephiroth: Yeah, we don't need two of you.

Vincent: One is too many as it is.

Cid: You might wanna leave now, other wise you might not live to see tomorrow.

Zell: Fine I'll leave.

Zell walks out the door and doesn't come back.

Yuffie: why'd you stay, um, Edea?

Edea: Cuz…*whispers in Yuffie's ear*

Yuffie: Oh cool.

Edea: Do you agree?

Yuffie: He's a bit senile, but, I've gotta give it to ya, he's got looks.

Edea: Cool.

Reno: Who you talking about?

Yuffie: Someone you know.

Reno: Who? Me?

Yuffie: Not you.

Reno: Ok.

Sephiroth: You're talking about me, aren't you?

Edea: Could you hear us?

Sephiroth: No, just, Yuffie gave it away cuz she kept looking towards me.

Edea: Oh, Well, come on let's go.

Sephiroth: Where?

Edea: Somewhere more…fun.

Sephiroth: Ok

Sephiroth and Edea: *Hurry out the front door hand in hand*

Vincent: What just happened?

Tifa: Something strange.

Vincent: Kindda noticed that, but what was that, something strange?

Tifa: something weird.

Vincent: OK already, what was the weird/strange thing that happened?

Tifa: Something unusual and really, really whacked.

Vincent: I give up.

Tifa: Oh, I think Sephiroth just decided he liked Edea.

Everyone else: *laughs*

Vincent: *walks over to couch and falls asleep*

Reno: Hey, a…hic…nother…vo…hic…dka please.

Tifa: I'm afraid we're all out.

Reno: WHAT???

Tifa: You drank it all.

Reno: spencas home girl.

Tifa: Yeah, Uhh huh. Keep lying.

Reno: Ok, I…hic…will.

Tifa: *smacks forehead*

Aeris: Meow!!!

Rude: Aeris is trying to tell us something.

Aeris: Meow!! Meow!!!

Cid: Can anyone understand her?

Red: *whistles*

Cid: What is she saying Red?

Red: *in innocent voice* what, you think I know, what would you think that?

Cid: What is she saying?

Red: That the Highwind's ugly.

Cid: Seriously now.

Red: I'm being serious.

Aeris: Meow!!! Meow, meow, meow!!!

Red: She says that, something bad is going to happen and the Highwind IS ugly.

Aeris: Meooooww.

Cid: You little B*t*h!!

Yuffie: Actually, you've got the wrong animal.

Cid: shut up Yuffie, just shut up.

Yuffie: but a bitch is a female dog.

Cid: Not the meaning I'm using. *Walks toward Aeris*

Aeris: m…m…meow.

Cid: *angrily* Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Aeris: hiss

Cid: *grabs Aeris* If there's two things I don't like it's you and the Highwind being made fun of.

Aeris: Meow meow meow.

Tifa: So you wouldn't care if someone made fun of me???

Cid: Yeah, I'd care, a lot, but, right now, she's at the top of my list.

Tifa: I feel hated.

Barret: He's just mad.

Reno: See told ya you deserve better.

Tifa: SHUT UP RENO!!!!!!

Reno: But it's true.

Rude: Shut up, or you're hair will leave.

Reno: It will???

Rude: Yep.

Reno: No, it won't. *Looks at hair* will it Tifa?

Tifa: …

Reno: Tifa? Where are you? Come on baby, I ain't in the mood to play hide and seek, come out.

Tifa: …

Reno: Can we go play something else, I've never been very good at this whole hide and seek thing especially saying I'm drunk, never can keep quiet, ya know what I mean.

Cid: Ok, that was just wrong.

Reno: What? Can't a guy like a girl a lot?

Cid: She's mine!!!

Reno: No need to remind me. *Looks around* Come on Tifa, come out, come out where ever you are, please?

Tifa: *distant* no.

Reno: Pretty please?

Tifa: *Really distant* no.

Reno: Pretty please with…a cherry on top?

Tifa: *still distant* (Still) no.

Barret: *Whispers in Reno's ear*

Reno: You expect me…to say that???

Barret: If you want her to come out…

Reno: Fine…pretty please, *disgusted look* with Cid on top.

Tifa: Ok. *Jumps up from behind him*

Reno: *falls off of stool* Don't do that!!!

Tifa: oh come on, no sense of humor?

Reno: After what I just said, no.

Tifa: That's mean.

Cid: really, especially on my behalf.

Yuffie: Where's Aeris?

Cid: OH…nowhere.

A timer dings In the distance.

Cid: *quickly runs off into another room*

Barret: What's up with him?

Yuffie: That's what I'd like to know.

Cid: *Walks in the room holding a platter with meat on it* It's new; try some.

Cait Sith: Okie dokie! *Grabs some of the meat* Gooood!

Cid: Well, what about the rest of you?

Tifa: I'll try some.

Yuffie: Me too, I guess.

Barret: NO WAY!!! Had enough of unusual meals today. *Looks toward Cait Sith*

Cait: What? I didn't do anything this time I swear!

Cid: Hey Cloud, you gonna try any?

Cloud: I guess. *Grabs some of the meat*

Cid: So what do y'all think?

Everyone: Good.

Vincent: *suddenly jumps up* Cid killed Aeris!!!

Tifa: What are you talking about?

Vincent: I dunno, what'cha eating?

Tifa: I dunno, what are we eating Cid.

Cid: *Looks off into space* Not sure…

Vincent: You're eating cat. *Falls back asleep*

Tifa: *eyes widen as she runs to the bathroom*

Cait: Is that true Cid?

Cid: She got on my nerves.

Cloud, Yuffie, Cait: *spit their food out and run to get water*

Cid: Well, they liked it before they knew it was the cat.

Tifa: *walks back into the room* you mean to tell us, that was "Aeris the cat?"

Cid: Hey, she made fun of the Highwind!

Tifa: *faints*

Yuffie: *enters room* sorry, I couldn't bear to eat my friend.

Cait: I just did that cuz everyone else did.

Aeris: *walks back into the room*

Everyone: What the!!

Aeris: He killed my former 'cat' self, so now I'm back. It's nice to see you all again.

Yuffie: *walks over to her and pulls on the curly hair that hangs on the side of her head* Ding dong, anybody home? (I highly doubt it.)

Aeris: Why must you do that?

Yuffie: Cuz you're a dimwit.

Aeris: Holy would not approve of you saying that.

Holy: Oh really?

Cloud: Where's my mousse?!

Barret: Didn't you just get some?

Cloud: Yeah, I had three or four bottles, now they're gone!!

The phone suddenly rings.

Yuffie: I'll get it.

Aimee: No use, I've got it. *Puts on speaker phone*

Mysterious voice: my monsters and I are coming to kill you!!! Be prepared!!! *Pauses* Oh yeah, um, the monsters are going to be the scariest, meanest, most powerful ever!!! *Manic laughter* as I said, be prepared!!!!!!

Cloud: I'm not fighting with my hair like this.

Aimee: So you're going to let all you're friends die because you're hair doesn't look good?

Cloud: Heck yeah!!!

Barret: Anyone got glue, that should hold it.

Cloud: I will never put glue in my hair!!! I need my mousse.

Aeris: Why don't we go look for some mousse?

Cid: Ok, we all split up.

Tifa: I'm going to go to the mall, Aeris, Cid; you want to come?

Aeris and Cid: Yep!

Barret: I'll go to the barbershop, Red, Vince; you wanna come?

Red: sure.

Barret: Vince?

Vincent: I'll…just stay here. *While asleep on couch*

Barret: Fine then, Cait, you're coming with Red and me. Let's go.

Yuffie: I'm going to the forest!

Everyone: Forest??

Yuffie: Yep! *Runs out the door*

Barret: I never will understand her.

Red: Who will?

Reno: Me, Elena and Rude will go to the store, dunno why, we just will.

Elena: I ain't helping them. You and Rude go on your own.

Rude: I ain't going. Reno's hair scares me.

Reno: Fine, I'll go, wait, no I won't!!!

* * *

At the mall…

Tifa: Um, excuse me; do you have any mousse?

Desk Clerk: Nope, we just ordered more; it should be here tomorrow.

Aeris: You sure you don't have ANY more, not even one?

Desk Clerk: We just sold it two seconds ago. Along with a bunch more of it.

Cid: Who bought it all?

Desk Clerk: Some guy.

Tifa: What did he look like?

Desk Clerk: Um he had blonde hair, wait, no, red, wait, black, um, no

Aeris: Never mind.

Desk Clerk: Sorry.

Tifa, Aeris, Cid: *walk out of mall*

Tifa: Weird, she couldn't remember what he looked like.

Aeris: Busy day perhaps.

Tifa: Perhaps.

Cid: Oh well, maybe someone else will find it.

* * *

At barber shop…

Barret: Excuse me; do you have any mousse?

Stylist: Mousse? Mousse!!! How dare you say that word!!!

Barret: What?

Stylist: Last time we bought that, it made weird stuff happen.

Barret: Like what?

Stylist: See her over there?

Red: Yeah.

Barret: so?

Stylist: Look, she has a tail, we used that That on her.

Barret: Where'd you get it?

Stylist: Um, it was like Mojo…wait…Hojo's products, that's what it was!

Cait: That'd be your reason for the mutations.

Barret: Thanks anyway.

Red: Well, might as well be heading back.

* * *

Back at the bar…

Cloud: Well, any luck?

Tifa: None here.

Barret: Here either.

Cloud: I'm not fighting with my hair like this.

Reno: It's not like it's a beauty pageant or anything, just a fight.

Cloud: NO!!!

Tifa: It's not like your hair looks bad like that or anything.

Cloud: What are you saying? That you don't like my hair dew?

Tifa: Well actually…it's kindda…sorta…strange.

Cloud: I feel hated.

Elena: Hey where's the brat?

Aeris: Who?

Rude: The pest.

Red: You mean Yuffie?

Elena: Whom else would we mean? Of course Yuffie!

Yuffie: *bursts in the front door with a moose over her shoulders* I got one!

Tifa: Oh geez.

Cloud: Not a moose; mousse, you know, like for your HAIR!!!!

Yuffie: Sorry, I guess you don't want this moose then do you?

Cloud: no.

Bullwinkle: So that means I can go?

Yuffie: Yes. Sorry I put you through all that trouble.

Bullwinkle: yeah.

Rocky: Just burst onto the scene and take him off. How rude.

Yuffie: I said sorry, now get, before I change my mind!!!

Rocky and Bullwinkle: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. *Walk out door*

Cloud: So no one found any mousse?

Suddenly the door bursts open.

Sephiroth: HI again!!!

Barret: Where have you been?

Sephiroth: Do you REALLY wanna know?

Barret: probably not.

Vincent: *loud snore*

Sephiroth: He looks comfortable.

Rude: Where's Edea?

Sephiroth: Busy.

Rude: Oh.

Cloud: Hey, Seph, you got any spare mousse?

Sephiroth: Nope sorry.

The phone suddenly rings.

Vincent: *suddenly jumps up* Traffic!!! *Falls asleep again*

Tifa: Oooookkkkaaayyy.

Aimee: I've got it.

Mysterious voice: Umm, sorry, we got stuck in traffic. My monsters and I will have to come another time. Hope to see you soon. Sorry for the trouble.

Vincent: *Wakes up* Sephiroth how could you? * Falls asleep (again)*

Red: Guess that means your plan of stealing all the mousse wont work, huh.

Sephiroth: Guess not.

Cloud: WHAT!!! You have all the mousse.

Sephiroth: Yep, you can have it now.

Cloud: did you all know again?

Yuffie: Yeah, why else would I hunt down a deer?

Aeris: A moose, Yuffie, a moose.

Cloud: Aimee, do you hate me or what?

Aimee: No, I don't hate you, you're just easy to make fun of.

Cloud: Thanks, I feel so special now.

Aimee: Yeah, special ed.

Cloud: That was uncalled for!

Aimee: no it wasn't!!

Cloud: Yes it

Everyone else: Wasn't!!

Cloud: wasn't…wait, I mean was!

Aimee: You admitted it that was called for!!!

Cloud: no I didn't!

Everyone else: Yes you did!

Cloud: Can I disappear now?

Aimee: Sure.

Cloud: *goes up in a puff of smoke*

Sephiroth: Cool! Do that again.

Aimee: ok

Cloud appears again, and then goes up in a puff of smoke.

Sephiroth: Woooww! Again!

Cloud appears (rather annoyed) then goes up in a puff of smoke again.

Sephiroth: Again, again!

Cloud: STOP!!!! I don't wanna disappear anymore!

Sephiroth: Why not?

Tifa: Sephy, you're scaring me

Sephiroth: Don't call me that.

Everyone in room: Sephy!

Another mysterious voice: you alls boring.

Aeris: No we're not!

Reno: I'm never boring.

Voice: No, you're just…. you, you're a jack@$$!

Reno: How rude.

Rude: NO!

Voice: Can y'all do sumtin?

Cid: like what? Smart @$$!

Voice: how dare you talk to me like that!

Cid: What'cha gonna do?

Voice: Apologize to me now!

Cid: That don't make sense, you're going to apologize to yourself?

Voice becomes a person and kills Cid.

Aimee: Hey!

Voice: I do have a name.

Aimee: I know, but what should I use, name-name or other?

Voice: Something besides voice!

Aimee: Ok…

ShadowStalker: Oh, that's better.

Aimee: Hoped so.

Elena: So you know her?

ShadowStalker: WE'RE BEST FRIENDS!!!

Aimee grabs a stamp and stamps Elena with it.

Elena: What's it say?

Reno: Reject.

Elena smacks Reno.

Reno: What?

Elena: How dare you call me that?

Reno: No! That's what the stamp says.

Elena: Oh.

Yuffie: YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone turns to face her.

Red: What in hell?

Yuffie turns around and shows off her new cowgirl outfit

Cait: Geez.

Yuffie: I've even gotta whip!

Cait: Want your fortune told?

Yuffie: Not now! I must go round up some wild horses and stuff.

Barret: She's lost her mind.

Yuffie turns the couch around and Vincent has a horse mask on.

Tifa: I don't even wanna know.

Yuffie: What? He's gotta wake up sometime.

Aeris: Don't do it!

Yuffie jumps on Vincent: Wakie Wakie, eggs and bakie!

Vincent screams: Off! Now! You are violating my personal space.

Yuffie laughs.

Vincent: You're going to pop my personal bubble.

Yuffie: Oh sure, it's just gonna go POP and get me all wet.

Vincent: It will.

Yuffie: I'll believe it when I see it.

Vincent's personal bubble pops and covers Yuffie in bubbly water.

Yuffie: EEECCCKKK!

She runs to the bathroom, soaking wet.

Vincent goes back to sleep.

Reno: He really had a personal bubble…I wonder if I have one…Tiiiiiffffffaaaaa!

Tifa: No you can't have anything else to drink, or me for that matter!

A new character comes walking in.

Tifa: Who are you?

Tidus: Cloud, flower plant!

Cloud: No, Cloud, is my name…What's yours?

Tidus: BIRD!

Yuffie: Well, mister, BIRD, what are you doing here.

Another character comes walking in behind Tidus.

Lulu: This is Tidus, we saved the world, remember?

Tidus: No, but I remember what we did last night.

(everyone else in room): wooo…

Lulu: What, did I kill you again?

Tidus: No the other thing.

Lulu: Oh, when I hit you and you passed out.

Tidus: So it was just a dream?

Lulu: You have dreams about me?

Tidus: …uhhhh…DOG!

Reno: I can see why he has dreams about her…(I wonder how many belts she has on.)

Tidus: She has 87, u know what I mean dude with the funny hair.

Reno: ME?

Tidus: NO the bald dude behind you.

Reno: But he doesn't have funny…Oh…

Tidus: yep…

Reno: But I don't have funny hair.

Tidus: Really?

Reno: You think I have funny hair, LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

Tidus whips out a mirror: I do, and, all I see is beautiful!

Reno: Freak…Sure its not a window, and your lookin' at me?

Tidus: But your old!

Reno: And you're a fag!

Tidus: …*faints*

Reno: Told ya so.

Tidus: *jumps up VERY offended* Want me to prove you otherwise?

Reno: Wha'cha gonna do, gimmie moose?

Tidus: I wouldn't waste it on you.

Rikku: Don't be hasty you two.

Tidus: You know that sounds wrong!

Rikku: So, why should I care, you ain't ever nice to me.

Tidus: You don't let me be!

Rikku: Not that way.

Tidus: You people are so mean.

Reno: And who is this?

Tidus: My girlfriend

Rikku: Since when?

Tidus: *evil glare* Yesterday, remember. Under the tree, in the dark alley…

Rikku: I thought that was a dream!

Tidus: You dream about me?

Rikku: Only beating you up.

Vincent: *jumps up* Save the birds! Mommy can I have some more chicken? *goes back to sleep*

Everyone scratches their head confused.

Clouds kid: *walks into the room*

ShadowStalker: Sucks to be you.

Clouds kid: Why?

ShadowStalker: Cuz u ain't got a name.

Cloud's kid: Why?

ShadowStalker: Ask your dad.

Cloud's kid: he's not here.

ShadowStalker: The other one.

Cloud's kid: What other one?…SAVE THE BIRDS!

Tidus: huh, he took my word hur hur.

Cloud's kid: *stops eating* Can I have some more chicken mommy?

Cloud: *walks out of the room* (He wasn't supposed to say that by them)

Aimee: Everyone can hear you ya know.

Cloud: … :*_*:

Aimee: Yep.

Vincent: *jumps up* Told ya so. *Goes back to sleep*

Yuffie: You stupid… stupid!

Tidus: Who?

ShadowStalker: You mean other than you?

Tidus: That's not nice!

Aimee: Opps…

Reno: You did it again.

Elena: We all know you love Brittany, but you ain't gotta sing it.

Yuffie: No, Vinny!

Vincent: *jumps up* That's not my name!

Yuffie: Don't you dare go to sleep!

Vincent: But I'm tired…

Yuffie: …ok, I understand…I mean…

Vincent: Shut it!

Yuffie: Shut what?

Vincent: *evil glare*

Yuffie: *evil eye*

Vincent: Yippee!

Rude: You make no sense.

Vincent: So do you.

Rude: … @_@?

Elena: Reject.

Rude: Will go out with me.

Elena: sure?

Sephiroth: Lulu…

Lulu: *evil eye* What?

Sephiroth: will you go out with me?

Lulu: Uhh? Nayah.

Tifa: Cid, I hate you!

Cid: Why?

Tifa: You talk to birds, for god sake, whadda ya think?

Reno: Tifa, will you go out with me?

Tifa: why not?

Reno: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ShadowStalker: This is scary, I'm leavin'.

Aimee: Me too!

Cloud: I'M TAKEN!

Barret: #~# Aeris will you go out with me?

Aeris: !@_@! Sure!

Cait: Red, you're goin' out with me.

Red: …?

Cid: *looks at a bird nearby* Will you go out with me?

Bird: Tweet?

Cid: I got a new girlfriend! (hope it ain't a guy…)

Bird: TWEET!! TWEET!! (Help me!!)

Rocky and Bullwinkle: *Bust into bar* Die! *throws twenty million bombs at everyone, they all explode*

Aimee: And they all died happily ever after!

ShadowStalker: (finally) THE END!!!!!!!!!! (yes)