Um...I can explain! XD

I was bored. I wanted to write something where Matt questioned Mello about his freakishly high metabolism. This was the result. Also, I kinda thought that some of my "Ways to Annoy Death Note Characters" could use fanfics to accompany them. This is for number 15 (Mello): "Ask him if he burns all the calories from the craploads of chocolate he eats by "working out" with Matt."

Which of course, we all know he does. Heh heh...

For someone as bright as he was, and for someone who was taught from a young age to be alert for people watching him, Mello seemed to be totally oblivious to the pair of green eyes observing him from across the living room. Maybe it was the fact that the goggles obscured them. Maybe it was because the person watching him had amazing peripheral vision and was playing his DS at the same time.

Or maybe it was because Mello was used to Matt checking him out and didn't say anything about it anymore.

The two men sat in silence, Matt playing his game and Mello munching on a chocolate bar. After about ten minutes of silence, Matt finally spoke up.

"Mello?" he asked, pausing his game.

Mello looked up, snapping off a few squares of chocolate with his teeth. "Yeah, Matty?"

"I was wondering something...I mean, we've known each other for fifteen years, and it's something I've always wondered...why is it that you don't gain any weight from all that chocolate?"

Mello stared at the redhead with a smirk. Then he started laughing. "You don't remember when I used to be chunky? Like, when we met?" he asked.

"Well, yeah...but you'd still sneak chocolate, and you lost that weight..." Matt said. "It doesn't make sense..."

"It doesn't make sense that you're so skinny either, considering you sit on your butt playing games most of the time..." Mello said matter-of-factly.

Matt shrugged. He did have a point...his food choices, though not comprised entirely of chocolate, weren't the healthiest, and he wasn't very active at all (he was somewhat suspicious that Mello had gotten him a Wii for his upcoming birthday, though). Taking this into consideration, he looked down at his stomach, which despite his unhealthy lifestyle, was flat, and he could actually feel his ribs if he touched the right place. His arms were like twigs, but the baggy sleeves of his shirt camouflaged that, at least a little.

Then he looked at Mello, wearing his skin-tight, midriff-baring leather vest and equally tight pants. The man oozed sex, and he was the only chocoholic Matt knew who could get away with showing off his belly, let alone doing so in tight leather.

"Huh, maybe we're just lucky," Matt finally replied, trying to conceal the hard-on that he'd gotten from staring at Mello's glorious body. Suddenly a look crossed Mello's face.

"You know," he said, "I think I might know what it is. Well, it plays a big role, anyway..."

"What? What are you--?"

Before Matt knew it, Mello was in his lap kissing and stroking him through his jeans. When he pulled away, he looked at Matt with a devious look in his crystalline blue eyes.

"Sex. Sex burns calories."

Matt blushed at Mello's revelation, then the blonde stood up before taking his "workout partner" by the hand and dragging him down the hall to their bedroom.