He'd lived with his captors for nearly three months, playing along and receiving a roof over his head, food in his stomach and a warm bed to sleep in as his reward for complying. Compliance wasn't that big of a deal for him. He simply had to live in their village, be their doctor, treat their wounds, examine them for illnesses and become a neighbor and a friend and a protector for their weak. None of this was difficult for Jack. Difficult was knowing that he had no other choice, that he couldn't just walk away if he wanted to, that even though he was free to roam he wasn't free to leave their village, not now and probably not ever.
He'd become well liked, almost popular in their village. The men enjoyed his company and the women tripped over one another trying to get his attention at first, but stopped bringing him food, stopped offering to do things for him and stopped following him on his walks when it became clear that his heart was already taken, that it was broken and that he wasn't interested in being pursued by a member of the opposite sex.
Juliet had been the only woman in the compound he hadn't pushed away, their first couple of weeks together as prisoner and captor forging a bond between them. They spent evenings on her porch talking and there were times when he allowed her to accompany him on his walks, enjoying her company and the way she could make him forget he was trapped and that he had no control over anything. After learning that Juliet was a prisoner, that she was following orders, doing what she felt she had to do in order to survive, Jack found that he respected her strength and that he respected her. He wasn't sure if he could ever trust her completely, but Jack trusted nobody completely so the two of them becoming friends and confidants was a natural progression.
He sat on the porch of the humble home Ben had given to him, his body language screaming "do not disturb" and thought about Juliet and the day that they had crossed the line and gone from friends to lovers.
He had allowed her to accompany him on his walk and he had been moodier than usual, the feeling of being trapped and having no control eating him more on this day than most. She understood that feeling and how maddening it was. She'd learned to deal with it a long time ago, but this was still new to Jack.
"This is it isn't it?" Jack asked in an aggravated tone as he dropped himself to the grass to sit.
"Sorry?" Juliet replied as she sat down beside him.
"This. It's our life now isn't it?" Jack asked.
"I'm afraid so." Juliet answered.
"How do you stand it? All this seclusion and lack of communication. I can't remember the last time I didn't eat alone, the last time I had someone to talk to." Jack complained.
"I talk to you." Juliet said.
"Yeah you do, but it always feels scripted, like you've been given a list of things you can and can't talk to me about. We never just talk and you have an unfair advantage because you know all about my past, but I know nothing about you." Jack complained.
"Come have dinner with me Jack and we'll talk. You can ask me anything you want." Juliet offered.
Jack remembered being a little leery, but he was starving for a human connection and maybe inside her home was the only place Juliet felt safe opening up to him and open up she did. They shared a meal and a bottle of wine and horror stories of their past relationships and before he knew it he was locked in a passionate kiss with her, both tearing at each other's clothes as they stumbled down the hallway toward her bedroom, falling onto the bed and coming together quickly, almost violently, neither managing to get any more than the necessary clothing items out of the way. When he finished, exploding into her so hard it felt like it blinded him momentarily, he wasn't even sure if he'd made her come and he stayed where he was, unwilling to move, being inside a woman again a feeling of familiar, of something wonderful, of home and not something he was ready to let go of. He could feel her hands gently pushing on the front of his shoulders and he raised his head to look at her. Her eyes were empty and she just wanted him off of her. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and kissed her softly.
"I'm sorry Juliet, I got carried away." Jack whispered.
"It's okay Jack. I'm used to men using me, not caring. Are you done? I need to get up." Juliet said, her tone cold and unfeeling.
"No, it's not like that. It's just been so long and…no, I'm not done. Give me a chance to do this right." Jack pleaded.
"You say that as if I'd know the difference between what is right and what is wrong." Juliet sighed.
"Give me another chance Juliet and you'll know the difference." Jack said began kissing her again, gently this time.
She did allow him the opportunity to do it right and he did not disappoint her as he made love to her until the sun came up, pleasing her, making her feel human and cared about and they found themselves finding new and clever ways to make time for each other, places to sneak away to, places to make love where anyone could stumble onto them, but never did. It gave both of them something to look forward to and made their daily existence bearable. There were never any declarations of love between them and Jack was grateful for that because even though he was with Juliet physically his mind and his heart were still with Kate. He felt guilty for that, guilty that he could rarely look her in the eyes when he was making love to her, guilty that when falling into a post love-making peaceful sleep he dreamed of Kate, guilty that he worried that he might get carried away during a passionate moment and call her Kate. He knew he had to end it, that they had to stop using each other for sex.
He didn't hear her approach, but sensed her presence and looked up. He sighed and dropped his head.
"Juliet, I really need to be alone right now." Jack said.
"You're thinking about her aren't you?" Juliet asked.
"It doesn't matter. Do you really think they'd shoot me if I tried to leave?" Jack asked.
"I know you miss her Jack, but that would be suicide." Juliet said.
"I'm sorry Juliet." Jack said.
"Why are you sorry Jack?" Juliet asked.
"I'm sorry that whatever this thing is we have between us can't make me forget her, you deserve better than that." Jack said.
"No, I don't Jack." Juliet said.
"Whatever Jules, I'm not going to argue with you, I'm tired of arguing with you. I'm going for a walk." Jack said and stood up.
"Make sure you're back when you're supposed to be Jack, I don't want to have to shoot you." Juliet said.
Jack looked at her, saddened by the fact that he wasn't sure if she'd really do that or not. He forced a light-hearted chuckle at the comment and walked away, following his favorite trail, the trail that led him deep into the jungle where none of them could see him, watch him, make notes of what he was or wasn't doing. He continued on his trail to the small clearing that housed a decent size pond of sorts with small cliffs that produced enough rain run-off to make a peaceful waterfall. He loved to lean back on the rocks, close his eyes and listen to the water run and let his mind relax and drift away.
He lay quietly, not thinking about anything, his mind focused on the sounds of the water when he heard the shuffling of feet, just before he felt a small hand clamp over his mouth. His eyes popped open, startled, his heart beating out of his chest and then he recognized the owner of the hand and relaxed. He pulled the hand away from his mouth and sat up, pulling the owner of the hand down to his level, until their faces were just inches apart.
"Kate, what are you doing here?" Jack asked.
"I'm happy to see you too Jack." Kate said.
Jack was happy, his heart was ready to jump out of his chest, but he knew how dangerous it was for her to be here and that was trumping any happy thoughts. She didn't wait any longer for Jack to respond. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck and held on until she felt him returning the hug, felt his head drop to her shoulder and his hands hold tightly to her back. She could feel him fighting his emotions, the same emotions he tried to contain that day in the Hydra, but she'd seen it, seen his face, heard his voice hitch as he fought back his tears.
"I never thought I'd see you again." Jack said as he tried to get his emotions under control.
"I knew I'd see you again, I just didn't think it would take this long to find you." Kate told him, crying and still holding tightly to him.
Jack could feel her warm tears dropping onto the back of his shirt. He wanted to hold her and never let her go, but he was afraid for her, afraid of what they might do to her if they found her. He slowly pulled her back and away from him and got her to look into his eyes.
"Kate, you have to go back. It's not safe." Jack told her.
"Jack I've been watching you for days. These people have no real tracking or survival skills. I've been right under their noses and they haven't noticed. They got what they wanted. They've got you so they don't care about bothering us anymore." Kate said.
"Don't be so sure Kate. They're always watching and waiting." Jack argued.
"I don't care Jack. I'm not leaving you behind again." Kate said.
"Kate, I can't leave. If I do they'll just come after me and they'll hurt or kill someone in order to get me to come back. It's not worth it." Jack told her.
"Come on Jack, we can take them and I bet you could get some of them on our side." Kate insisted.
"No Kate, it's not going to happen. No more death. I'm sick of it. If my staying here with them keeps them from hurting any more of our people then I'll stay. It's not so bad. I've got a real bed to sleep in and a bathroom." Jack said.
"What about freedom Jack? Is a bed and a toilet worth your freedom?" Kate asked.
"No, but knowing you're safe is." Jack said and stood them both up.
"Jack, please. Come back with me." Kate pleaded.
He held her face in his hand, his thumb gently caressing her cheekbone. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
"I swore if I ever saw you again I'd admit my feelings for you Kate. They're very strong, hell who am I kidding, I'm in love with you Kate, but you aren't in love with me. That's okay though as long as you're happy and safe." Jack said finding it very difficult to come clean with her, but something he felt he had to do in case he never saw her again.
"I'm not happy Jack. I can't be happy knowing you're being held here against your will. Please come back with me Jack. Please." Kate pleaded.
"I'm sorry Kate. You're the first person they'd hurt to get back at me and I couldn't live with that. I have to get back now. They'll come looking for me if I don't. Go back Kate. Tell the rest to stay away." Jack said and kissed her one more time.
Kate watched him disappear into the brush. She knew his path and knew exactly how long it would take him to get back to his cute little house in their village. She'd been watching him, watching him interact with the rest of them, watching him interact with that blonde woman. She'd decided that if he looked happy she'd go back without him, but he didn't look happy. He looked trapped and miserable.
Jack made his way back to the village. Ben was waiting for him when he appeared from the cover of the jungle. He sighed and walked toward him.
"Cut that one pretty close Jack." Ben said.
"Do you need something Ben or are you just making sure everyone is tucked in for the night?" Jack asked sarcastically.
"You don't look happy Jack. When people are unhappy they do stupid things. What can I do to make you happy Jack?" Ben asked.
"Let me go." Jack said flatly.
"I'm sorry Jack, I can't do that, but think about it, sleep on it and see if you can up with something reasonable and we'll talk tomorrow. Goodnight Jack." Ben said.
"Goodnight Ben." Jack sighed heavily.
Jack walked toward his house taking note of how close in proximity to Juliet's house it was and laughing under his breath. He knew he could knock on her door and be invited in because that's what they did, they used each other physically to forget how miserable they were. She was sitting on her porch when he approached the steps leading up to his front door. She looked up at him, her face stoic.
"Did you enjoy your walk?" She asked.
"It was a walk. Goodnight Juliet." He said and entered his house, slamming the door behind him.
Once inside he paced for awhile, frustrated, angry and scared for Kate, seeing her again bringing the pain back to the surface. He finally stripped his clothes off and stepped into the shower, holding his face up and letting the water splash over it. He never heard her enter the house or the bathroom. He felt the arms slip around his waist and he sighed. Juliet was the last person he wanted to deal with right now. He turned around to tell her so, to find some kind way to suggest she go away, but when he saw a pair of green eyes staring back at him, the eyes that haunted his dreams he swore his heart skipped a beat right before it exploded.
"Kate. What?" He stammered still so shocked that she was there that it hadn't registered yet that she was also completely naked.
"I told you I'm never leaving you again Jack and I meant it." She told him as she let her eyes travel slowly down his long, lean form.
That she hesitated and kept her eyes focused down until he put his fingers under her chin and tilted her head back up made him chuckle, any shyness that had been between them going down the drain with the hot water.
"You checkin me out?" He teased.
"Please don't turn me away Jack." Kate replied her eyes filling with tears.
"Come here." He said softly as he pulled her closer taking a moment to notice her now, her naked breasts perched in front of him, the rest of her equally naked and as beautiful as he'd imagined she would be.
He led her around until she was in front of him, wanting to let her enjoy the hot shower. He stood behind her, his body pressed into her back, reaching around her, tilting her head back allowing the water to drench her face and her hair. He poured the shampoo in his hands and gently massaged it over her scalp and through her hair. She was becoming putty in his hands. A shower alone would've been enough to turn her to mush, but having him wash her hair and then move on to her body was easily the most enjoyable moment she'd experienced since crashing on the island. His hands, the hands of a surgeon moved skillfully over her body, lathering up every inch of her, massaging and caressing her with so much care and tenderness she understood what it meant to fall into a state of erotic bliss.
She felt his hand slide between her legs briefly and moaned. He turned her around to face him, brought his mouth to hers and swallowed her in a heavy, wet, passionate kiss. He felt like he was pouring a lifetime worth of desire into one lengthy kiss, his need poking her and making her ache for him. He pulled out of the kiss, his breathing slightly labored and looked into her eyes.
"Kate, before we do this I have to know something." Jack said.
"Okay." Kate said, ready to confess to anything in order to get him to continue.
"I know you've been with Sawyer and I don't care, but I need to know if you're still with him, if we are going to be hurting him if we do this." Jack said.
"No Jack. I was only with Sawyer once and after that all we did was fight about you. I love you Jack and I thought I was never going to get the chance to tell you that." Kate told him.
"I love you too." Jack said and kissed her again, moving them under the water to wash the soap away.
He pulled out of another breath-taking kiss and turned the water off, noticing the disappointment all over her face.
"Kate, our first time together isn't going to consist of me slamming you up against cold tile in a shower no matter how tempting that sounds." He told her making her smile.
He stepped out of the shower and held his hand out for her to follow. She stepped out of the tub and neither bothered to dry off. He walked her into the bedroom, pulled all the bed coverings off of the bed and laid her back on the mattress, following on top, kissing her sweetly and tenderly while his hands moved over her breasts and his thigh moved in-between her legs. He stopped and held himself up above her, looking down at her sweet face.
"You are so beautiful." He said and began slowly moving his mouth down over her neck, tasting her and then marking her, perhaps a little harder than he'd intended, his desire for her and his need to express just how strong it was trying to take control.
He continued to kiss her and caress her and when he closed his mouth over her nipple and sucked the bud in-between his teeth she let go of a breathy sigh, feeling him smile against her breast. She held gently to his head, letting her fingers run through his short hair as he continued to kiss, nibble, lick and taste his way over her body. His hands held gently, but firmly to her just below her ribs as he moved his tongue over her bikini line, his body wedged between her legs, feeling her heat against his chest and fighting the urge to move down, to taste her and make love to her with his mouth.
This was their first time together and he didn't want to be overly aggressive, oral stimulation something that he should reserve for later, after they make love, after they get to know each other on a more personal level. He wanted everything about their lovemaking to be special, to be about love first and lust second and when the time came to know her most private parts that intimately he wanted her to be comfortable and ready for him to explore and learn and enjoy seeing and experiencing every minute of it. He supposed his attitude toward oral sex might be a little prudish, but he believed it to be as personal as two people were allowed to be and believed that when done right, with the appropriate feelings involved, it could bring a couple's love life to a level of intimacy that few take the time and patience to experience.
He moved his mouth back up and kissed her while his hand moved between her legs, penetrating her slightly to see if she was ready for him. Kate pulled her mouth away, resting her head on his shoulder, holding tightly to him.
"Jack, please. I want you so much." Kate whispered
Jack took himself into his hand and guided his tip to her entrance. He looked into her eyes and pushed himself into her slowly, feeling her move, pull her legs back and force him to slip in deeper causing her to gasp.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm great." She said and kissed him.
He began thrusting in and out of her, taking his time, talking softly to her and never taking his eyes off of her. If he wasn't in love with her before he was in so deep now he was certain that living without her was no longer an option for him. She gazed into his eyes, feeling him move within her, feeling the warmth and tingling begin to flood through her loins, her release building with every thrust. God he felt so good, better than she ever imagined and he was so strong and intense while keeping it tender and sweet and she cried out as the first wave rushed through her. He slowed way down and let her ride it out, kissing her gently and waiting for her to stop clenching around him, to settle back down and be ready for him to continue on.
His own need was becoming painful, but he wanted to keep going, to make this last as long as he could so he rolled them onto their sides, face to face. He lifted her leg up to rest over his hip and slipped back inside her, pushing into her slowly and withdrawing slowly, slowing it all down and taking her to what felt like a dream state. She could feel him slowly filling her up, so hard, but soft at the same time and then slowly backing out, but not completely, their centers meeting perfectly with every push into her, another release slowly building.
She wrapped her hands behind his neck, pushed her body into his, buried her face in his neck and came again, his large warm hands holding tightly behind her, one gliding over her bottom, gently holding her in place as she squirmed and moaned through her orgasm. She settled again, pulled her face out of the warmth of his neck and smiled at him.
He rolled her back onto her back, staying inside her, not moving, looking into her eyes with so much love she thought she might cry. He brought his mouth down and kissed her, their tongues slowly moving in and out, steadily growing hungrier as their passion began to intensify. She felt him swell, become even harder inside of her and brought her mouth to his ear once again.
"Make love to me Jack and don't hold back." She said.
Jack held himself up, arms flexed and pushed himself in and out of her, becoming wild and out of control at her urging him to go harder and faster, not realizing he had an extra gear each time until she pushed him to it. He brought her to release two more times, making her scream so loud he was certain the entire village had heard and then he himself finally let go, making one final deep, hard thrust and staying there, profanity unlike anything Kate had ever heard slip past his lips, spewing out of him as steadily as his hot semen.
He finally dropped down onto his folded arms, sweaty and out of breath. She rubbed her hands over his back allowing him to stay there for as long as he needed or wanted. After a few minutes he moved off of her and rolled onto his back, pulling her over to him until she was comfortably draped over his chest and stomach, her head resting on his upper chest just below his collar bone.
"I know you told me to go back Jack, but I couldn't." Kate said.
"Oh well, when have you ever done what I asked?" Jack chuckled.
"I can't be on this island without you Jack so if I have to live in the jungle just outside of this compound that's what I'll do." Kate told him.
"I don't think so Kate, but we'll figure something out." Jack said and yawned.
They drifted off to sleep, happy and peaceful for the first time since their plane had crashed. Jack awoke the next morning to find her in the exact spot she was when he last spoke to her. Her naked body still curled up next his, her head resting on his chest, so relaxed that he hated to disturb her.
They finally pried themselves out of bed. He slipped his jeans on and tossed her his shirt to wrap around her since her clothes were no where in sight.
"Where did you take them off Kate?" He asked slightly amused.
"I think maybe in the living room, but I don't really remember, I had other things on my mind." Kate admitted with a slight grin.
They walked from the bedroom to the living room to find Ben sitting in one of the chairs drinking a cup of coffee stopping both of them in their tracks.
"Jesus man you ever heard of knocking?" Jack said angrily.
"I doubt you would've heard me." Ben said.
"You made coffee?" Jack asked.
"No, Juliet was kind enough to make me a cup to take with me." Ben answered.
"What are you doing here?" Jack asked.
"I should be asking her the same thing, but believe me, the entire compound knows what was going on here last night. You really should close your windows Jack." Ben said with that stupid smirk that always made Jack want to crush his skull like a cantaloupe.
"You asked what would make me happy Ben. Kate is the only thing that makes me happy." Jack told him.
"What about Juliet?" Ben asked.
"What about her?" Jack asked.
"She never made you happy?" Ben asked.
"We never made each other happy Ben. We just used each other to forget how miserable we are. Let her go home Ben. Let Kate stay and let Juliet go home." Jack pushed.
"Juliet has research skills. What does Kate have to offer?" Ben asked.
"She has quite a bit to offer actually, nothing you can label and hang on a wall, but hell degrees and meaningless here. Juliet's research hasn't solved your fertility issues yet so give it up, let her have her life back." Jack insisted.
"Will the two of you solve our fertility issues? Can we expect you to need a much a bigger house?" Ben asked.
Jack looked at Kate and then back at Ben. The idea of bringing children into this insanity not something that he wanted to consider.
"How do you know whatever caused the fertility problems here won't affect us as well?" Jack asked.
"Because outsiders don't seem to be affected or hasn't Juliet told you Jack." Ben said.
"Told me what?" Jack asked.
"She's pregnant Jack and she's not going anywhere. But don't feel too sad for her, it's really the only reason she's been sleeping with you. Juliet has no use for men in her life or did you not notice what a cold fish she is." Ben told him.
"Trust me Ben, she's anything but a cold fish if you treat her the way she deserves to be treated and she deserves to have her life back." Jack argued.
"You don't care that she's pregnant with your child?" Ben asked.
"Care? Does it do any good to care about anything in this environment Ben?" Jack shot back sarcastically.
"Of course it does. We've gotten a ton of mileage out of your feelings for Kate. Why do you think we've let her roam around out there just beyond the perimeter? Why do you think we allowed her to sneak in here last night? Why do you think we allow her to live Jack? It's really quite simple. If you didn't have Kate to care about you never would've removed my tumor, you never would've agreed to stay here and you certainly wouldn't still be here. No, the only thing that keeps you here Jack is your fear that we'll hurt her. It's very sweet actually." Ben said.
"So what does all that mean Ben?" Jack asked.
"It means she can stay Jack, hell we'll throw you a big wedding if you want." Ben said.
"Yeah, what's the catch?" Jack asked.
"No catch Jack. You've impregnated Juliet and we've managed to impregnate a few others with samples we've taken from Sawyer and from Charlie. Should you and Kate have any children we'll want the umbilical cords and we took a few samples from you too, while you were unconscious. We'll have our little community filled with children soon enough and those children will grow up and create more children and well, you get the idea." Ben explained.
"That's not enough sperm samples Ben. You're going to have brothers and sisters procreating." Jack argued.
"It's a start Jack." Ben said as the coffee cup fell out of his hand and crashed to the floor.
Jack walked over to him and knelt down in front of him.
"Ben, what's wrong?" Jack asked.
"My chest, I think I'm having a heart attack." Ben said.
Jack unbuttoned the collar of Ben's shirt, putting his ear to his chest and his hand on the artery in his neck. His heart rate was very slow and getting slower and then it was just gone. Ben slumped forward onto Jack. Jack pushed him off of him and back into the chair. He stood up and backed away from him. He looked up and saw Juliet standing in the doorway.
"Jack, aren't you going to do something?" Kate asked.
"Wouldn't do any good would it Jules?" Jack said.
"No." Juliet answered.
"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.
"She poisoned him. He's dead." Jack answered.
"What? Jack, what are we going to do?" Kate asked.
"Do? There's nothing to do Kate. The man had a massive heart attack. I did what I could, but I couldn't save him. Right?" Jack said his eyes never leaving Juliet's.
"That's right. I'll get someone to come collect the body. You two can stay or go back to your camp, your choice." Juliet said.
"But we can't go home?" Jack asked.
"Home is where the heart is Jack." Juliet said and walked away.