892,648

That is how many followers Sienna has on Tweet Twet.

It sounds like a lot, but until the entirety of Alola's population that knows how to use social media follows her, it won't be enough.

She sighs as she traces her manicured finger over the smooth glass covering the surface of the kitchen island. Looking around the epitome of open concept that is her house, she lays her eyes upon a large window facing her backyard.

The window looks rather empty. Maybe adding a curtain can fix it. Or maybe a fern. Those are very nice. Ferns. There are lots of types of ferns as well. Yes, a fern will be a nice addition. There's nothing quite like some spore-spreading greenery to liven up a house.

Finishing her avocado toast, Sienna leans back in her chair and plans out her next message under 280 characters. Grumbling to herself, she regrets planning out her messages before her morning jog. Despite what some people may say, she doesn't just send out sponsored hoots, she actually needs a decent amount of creativity once in a while.

Sighing, she gets up from the chair in her kitchen, phone in hand, and walks across the tile to a sliding door that opens to the backyard. Facing her is a pool that a blue seal wearing sunglasses is floating on. The Alolan Pokémon floats silently as it lounges under the sun's rays, the pool's small waves causing the seal to bob up and down.

Sienna lies stomach down on a lounge chair and watches the Brionne slowly pad itself over to the edge of the pool. It jumps onto the concrete surrounding the pool and hops over to its trainer.

"Hello, Normandy. I'm in a severely uncreative rut and I need something ridiculous to say to trigger the right wing. What do I type?" Sienna says as the Pokémon flops over to her and makes eye contact. It clearly wants tummy touches

"Bri, Bri," it cries as it rolls onto its back and shows how it clearly doesn't care about the predicament its trainer is in.

"Fine, fine. I'll give you some tummy touches," she says as she extends her hand to her Pokémon's chest. A small smile appears on her face as she watches her Pokémon wriggle happily from the tummy touches.

While petting the wriggling Pokémon, Sienna turns on her phone and opens up MyTube to stare at video recommendations. In between all the oddly satisfying compilations is the occasional political video which happens to be what Sienna is looking for.

"Looks like Mr. Len Shapyro is back at it talking about teaching manliness to kids. Ugh. I can't even, what the hell," Sienna says as she pauses the video to look at the recommended section. Most of it is foreign policy. In other words, she doesn't care about it.

As she continues her scrolling, a video title catches her eye.

"Alice Suzuki DESTROYS PC College Kid"

"Well, that's just too good to pass up on," Sienna says with a smile as she selects the ten-minute video and taps a random time in the video to get a quote from the politician.

"But a hate-monger has as much of a right as I do to be on this stage-"

"Mh, too reasonable," she mutters as she scrolls to another random portion.

"Oh, get over yourself. You're not the center of the universe, you special snowflake. You don't have a right to speech if-"

"There we go. Now I feel anger against her," Sienna says with a smirk as she searches "Alice Suzuki" to find her account. There's bound to be something even worse.

Opening the politician's Tweet Twet, Sienna finds the first Tweeter is the perfect one to respond to.

"Media: All*These*Women*Are*Running*For*Office

Me: Coolio. What are their policies?

Media: The*Future*Is*Female

Me: I get that, but what do they think about healthcar—

Media: Sistahs Are Doin' It For Themseeelvessss

Sienna drafts her response as her Brionne waddles over to the water with larger waves from the trade winds blowing through. It's almost serene. The winds flowing through palm and banana trees, the water-type slowly dipping into the pool, it's all calm until you realize an internet war is about to occur.

"There we go," she says with a smirk as she gets up and stretches. "I'm going for a run now. If the house starts to burn down, please put out the fire, Normandy."

"Bri?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Alice mutters to herself as she watches her challenger drop their Poké Balls while attempting to grab one from their bag that is far too small for an island challenge participant.

Alice hates leaving her house.

The outside has bugs. It has no air conditioning. Worst of all, it has people.

Dealing with people online is easy enough, but for some damn reason, they never read the nice rules she sets up everywhere. Is it that hard to understand she likes to set up her battles in advance so she can have free time?

Apparently.

She just wants to go grocery shopping, you know, like a normal person. Instead, she's being challenged by another idiot child on a godamn sidewalk under a tree in the middle of town.

"I- I'm sorry! Here, uh, this should work! Go, Flutter!" The small child says as she picks up a Poké Ball with a large sticker of an arrow on it. The eleven-year-old tosses the Poké Ball to release a Dartrix before her.

"Dart!" It yelps as the Poké Ball it came from falls on its head.

Smooth. Real smooth.

Passersby stare at the scene of a little girl and a severely unhappy looking middle-aged woman about to start a Pokémon battle. Alice supposes it's a strange sight to see as it's a well-known fact among locals that she likes to organize her battles in the afternoon and evenings on weekdays.

She hates having her battles on weekend mornings. Not only is she grumpy about it being so early, but the concept of working on a weekday is repulsive.

"Please toss it back here, Flutter!" The trainer says desperately as her owl waddles in a semicircle to position itself. It hits the capsule back at its trainer by using its wing as a golf club.

The capsule then proceeds to hit the trainer in the face before falling to the ground and rolling away.

"I almost feel bad. Anyway," Alice whispers as she takes out her own Poke Ball and waits for the trainer to be ready. "Now that you're ready, I'll tell you the basic rules."

"H-huh? Oh, right, yes, r-rules."

"Don't panic, nothing's happening yet. Now then, I'll tell you basic rules you should know already. I still have to tell you them because some kid's parents sued us a few years ago and we like to avoid that happening. Seriously, taking taxpayers money just because your kid lost the island challenge isn't cool."

"...Uh-huh," the kid says while clearly not understanding the legal consequences being explained to her.

"Anyway, this is your... Second challenge, correct?"

"Yes!"

"Alrighty. You're allowed as many Pokémon as you have and I'm allowed one because my Pokémon can't hold back. You can forfeit at any time, but keep in mind you are allowed only three attempts to defeat me and a forfeit will count against you. Unless you have any other questions, we can begin," Alice says as she fingers the button on her Poké Ball.

"No, we can start," the girl says as she nervously twirls a strand of her black hair.

A crowd is forming around the two as curious tourists and hopeful challengers watch the unfolding scene. If it were up to her, this battle would be held in a controlled building for this reason. Alice will not have to fear for the safety of onlookers and she can easily reject trainers not signed up.

Alice sighs. She was originally going to lead with Zara, but it looks the kid won't be worth the strategy. Brute force will be more than effective.

"Alright then. Lily, I'll lead with you," Alice says as she holds down the release button on her Poké Ball. Tossing the capsule never did make sense in her mind.

"Lily?" The girl questions as a bright light begins to materialize into the shape of a Pokémon.

"Yeah, I named her after her favorite flower."

"How cute- Ah!"

"Hydreeeeeiiiigooonnnnnn," Lily menacingly roars as the dragon takes shape.

"Yes, she's very cute. She loves the flower crown filter when I post pictures of her on Snapshit or whatever it's called," Alice says, completely dead serious.

"I, uh..."

"She also loves violets, but those don't taste as good. Anyways, are you ready?" Alice says as she places her hand on her hip and beings to determine the best strategy to not completely destroy the infrastructure of the town.

"Uh, yeah... Flutter, use Razor Leaf!"

Of course, the girl immediately goes for the move that sends lethal leaf knives everywhere.

"Flamethrower. Carefully. Try not to burn down the trees. We don't have to help the invasive species take over," Alice says as her three-headed dragon incinerates the razor-sharp leaves with fire from its two head arms. Listening to its trainer, the Pokémon makes an effort not to burn down the large tree casting shade over the battlefield.

"And please don't cause property damage!" Alice calls out as a truck on the road swerves to avoid the flames flying out of a large dragon's mouth.

"Fly and doge— I mean, dodge the attacks!" The trainer instructs her now panicking yet lazy owl as it flies upward. Lily doesn't care and points her arms to wherever the creature flies, regardless of what might be in the way.

The once passive crowd begins to run away screaming as the flames get dangerously close to them. Only a few idiotic trainers remain, and Alice is half-tempted to have Lily jokingly aim the flamethrower at them.

She doesn't, though. She doesn't need another lawsuit against her.

"Oh, what do I do! Um, fly into the tree!" The girl instructs as her Pokémon loyally obeys.

Alice is confused for a moment until she sees Lily ending her attack. The girl is using Alice's concern for the environment against her. Urg.

The girl almost looks happy with herself until she sees the glare being sent at her by Alice as the brunette says, "Hyper Voice."

"Hyyddrreeiiiggggoooonnnnnn," the brutal dragon screeches towards the tree. Any remaining trainers run away from the grinding noise assaulting their ears that is being used to flush out the Dartrix.

Alice shoves her fingers into her ears and watches to see if the Pokémon falls out of the tree before an epiphany hits her. That tree has a colorful trunk.

"Wait, that's a eucalyptus tree!" Alice screeches over the sound of her Pokémon violently rattling its vocal chords.

"Drei?" Lily questions as she turns around to see her trainer looking miserable.

"Why the hell did I think that move was a good idea. It's a eucalyptus tree! It's an invasive species! Burn the shit out of it!" Alice screeches as if the horrendous assault on her ears is still occurring.

"Drei!" Lily happily says as her inner pyromaniac goes wild at the thought of seeing a plant burn to ashes. Lily throws herself at the tree and begins to burn it in her search for the Dartix.

Is she a little too happy at the idea of incinerating a living thing? Maybe, but the words "questionable morality" are a perfect summary of both Lily and her trainer.

"Flutter, use Ominous Wind!" The girl with black hair calls out as a dark wind begins to mix together with the flamethrower.

Alice is at first confused by the use or such an ineffective move until she remembers the added benefits of Ominous Wind the girl has to be going after. It is a low chance, but when your grass bird is in a tree being burnt to a crisp by an angry dragon, you're rather pressed for options.

If the Dartrix is strengthened by its previous move, Alice might end up here longer than she wants. While she can end the battle in a few seconds, the property damage would be catastrophic, and she didn't want taxpayer money to go towards fixing her mess. It should go towards more useful things like feeding the poor, giving shelter to the homeless, and gratuitously inflating military spending.

"Lily, counterattack with Hyper— actually, no, that's a bad idea. Fly back and let the fire flush out the owl," Alice instructs as her Hydreigon flies backward and watches closely for the escaping bird.

"Flutter, you need to escape!"

Just as it seems like the grass owl is going to let itself burn to a crisp, it dashes out from the top of the tree at its trainer's command. The bird begins a journey upwards as its trainer calls for it to continue its ascent. From the speed the Dartrix is traveling at, Alice gauges it did not gain a boost to its abilities. Good.

"Alright, now use Ominous Wind!"

"Aw, crap," Alice mutters as she realizes the grass owl has gained a height advantage while she's been musing to herself.

The bird builds up a dark wind with its wings and sends it downwards towards the Hydreigon. Lily flies upwards to meet the owl and suffers the attack in the process, but chooses to shrug off the damage and continue upwards.

The Dartrix stays hovering in the air and Alice looks over at the Pokémon's trainer to try to understand what their strategy is. With a quick observation of the girl's face, it becomes clear she has no strategy in mind and is desperately throwing out commands.

"Keep a good distance, but stay close enough if you need to attack!" The girl shouts as Alice watches the once stationary owl begin to fly away.

Ah. So that's how they operate.

"Lily, I'm expecting you to figure out the rest! Climb higher and aim a Hyper Voice towards us!" Alice hollers at her dragon.

Lily turns to stare at her trainer almost cutely as it looks severely confused. Seeing her trainer point at the challenger, she understands the message and begins ascending upwards. She flies above the Dartrix which stares at Lily in confusion until Lily releases an ear-splitting screech downwards towards the owl's trainer.

Is it probably outlawed somewhere for her to be blocking communication between Pokémon and trainer? Probably, but it's the trainer's fault for not teaching her Pokémon to operate independently.

Alice shoves her fingers into her ears once more as she watches the girl trainer attempt to instruct her Pokémon. The Dartrix is left only chasing after Lily who raises her two arms to release Flamethrower from their mouths. The fires hit the owl straight on as it continues to follow Lily as its trainer has stated for her last order.

The loyalty some Pokémon hold for their trainers is disgusting to Alice. When orders go against self-preservation, it is the order of nature to go against a command. However, Pokémon are raised to be unwaveringly obedient to the point that even common sense becomes overridden by the desire to please.

It's disgusting. Truly disgusting.

Dartrix falls towards the ground, its limp body tired from battling not making an effort to break its fall. All of its former strategies are forgotten as it tiredly gives up on the idea of strengthening itself with Ominous Wind. It closes its eyes as it prepares to pass out from its wounds.

"Catch it, please," Alice commands her Hydreigon as it ends its Hyper Voice attack. Lily swoops down and gently catches the owl before it can hit the ground. The "brutal" Pokémon carries its victim to the terrified little girl and lays the owl on the ground.

Lily flies back over to Alice and flops into a sitting position, a dopey look on her face as Alice pets the three-headed dragon. Alice looks at the little girl's disappointed face before she asks, "What's your next Pokémon, sweetheart?"

"I... I don't have another one... Flutter is my only partner," the girl admits as she fumbles with her shirt.

Alice almost feels something as she sees the small child avoid eye contact as they return their Pokémon. Key-word is almost. Alice has to keep up her appearance of being the personification of a sarcastic brick wall if she wants any degree of public respect. It's actually annoying that a single slip of true emotion can be the cause of a smear campaign against her by the media.

"Alright. I recommend your Dartrix to learn to operate without your commands and for you to learn to ignore your nervousness. Anyway, I need to report the severe property damage to the Island Challenge League so we can get this town cleaned up," Alice says as she observes the sidewalk burned from Flamethrower and scratches from lethal leaf knives.

"Yeah..."

Alice quickly walks away from the scene of destruction and avoids the trainers now creeping out from hiding as they attempt to challenge her. She made a mistake in accepting a challenger as that set a precedent for the day when Alice just wants to get her groceries for the week.

Alice quickly ducks into an open shop selling shaved ice and unlocks her phone to send a text to the cleanup team to fix the mess the battle created. The shopkeeper stares at Alice weirdly as she furiously texts the address while glancing at the door to see if any challengers are looking for her.

"...Miss, would you like anything?" The shopkeeper cautiously asks the woman looking like she's hiding from a serial killer.

"Uh, yeah, give me a medium size of guava on one side and Pina Colada on the other with a scoop of ice cream. Oh, add condensed milk too," Alice says without her eyes breaking contact with her phone as the cleanup crew responds that they'll be there in half an hour.

"...Alright," he says as he gets to work shaping the ice into a cup.

Alice sighs as she leans against a stand of snacks and closes her eyes. In an attempt to get her mind off of the eleven-year-olds hunting her down, Alice makes the mistake of opening Tweet Twet. The first thing she sees is everyone messaging her to look at the profile of a stuck-up brat Alice knows. Thanks to the time the entitled avocado toast addict had gone on a spree all over cable news calling for intervention in a territory of Hoenn, Alice knew her quite well.

Knowing that she'll soon regret her actions, Alice stares at the response to her last Tweeter.

"Oh, look, another deplorable that's trying to hold down women when we're still overcoming being paid 79 cents to the dollar.

Maybe if she spent less time getting her hair done and actually did her job, she would know how the people of Alola operate."

Opening the message function, Alice types a simple message.

"At:Sienna_Abe Debate me, you avocado whore."