Terrible Twins
Chapter 1: Joke Shop Job
Elaine looked over her shoulder. They were still following. Why couldn't they leave her alone? Carefully she drew her wand and tucked a couple strands of chin-length black hair behind her ear. She didn't want to alarm them. Suddenly, she whipped around, brandishing the wand as though it was a sword. With a slashing motion, she spoke a curse in her mind. The Death Eaters that had been creeping along behind her were caught in her spell.
Levitating over the street and completely immobilized, the Death Eaters could only watch as Elaine turned around. "Stop following me," she said crisply. "I don't care what you want, but I'm not going to do whatever it is." Sharply, she turned back around and stalked away.
A glance at her watch told her she was late. She hurried up the street a little further. She stopped in front of a bright storefront. It was Weasley Wizard Wheezes. Adjusting her knit cap and brushing a few bits of dried leaves off her coat, she stepped through the door.
"Can I help you?" said a red-haired man behind the counter.
"Yes," she said as she unfolded a piece of paper. "I saw a notice you were looking for workers."
"Right you are. Are you qualified?" George Weasley asked her.
She smiled slightly. "Take a look out here." She pointed to the door. Curious, George stepped out from behind the counter and followed her outside. The Death Eaters were still hanging, unable to move or release themselves. "I hope that makes everything clear?"
"Did you come up with that yourself?"
"Yes. Is that what you meant by being qualified?"
"Highly inventive. You good at putting magic into objects?"
"Certainly." Before George could ask to see proof, she pulled out a piece of bubble gum. She offered it to him. Cautiously he reached out to touch it. The moment his fingertip brushed it, it threw itself at his hair, sticking to nearly every strand.
He tried to charm it off. It didn't work. Nor did yanking. Calmly Elaine did a circling thrust with her wand. The gum leapt off his hair and back into her outstretched hand. George burst out laughing. "You have a name?"
" 'Course I do! Elaine Kellswater." She sounded faintly amused at something.
"Welcome to the team, then Elaine Kellswater. Now, if you'll step into the shop, we'll go over some more things you ought to know." George stood aside to let her pass through first.
Excited, she stepped back into the joke shop. She noticed Fred did not look surprised in the least to see her there. "Welcome, welcome!" He called to someone over his shoulder. "Verity! Come meet the newest member of staff!" A blond witch poked her head out from a back room.
"Hello there. Come with me, I tell you everything you need to know about working here." Elaine followed Verity into the back. "Right now, business in the actual store is fairly slow, as most of our customers are at school. However, we do fill orders, as you are no doubt aware. What we do need the most help with is stocking the shelves. Most of the products cannot be touched by magic, even to lift them, or it might cause problems with the charms. It should be easy to tell where everything goes, but if you have any questions at all, just ask."
The two Weasleys joined the two women in the back. "George tells me you might have a new item for the shop. Mind if I see it?"
With a slight smile, she held out the piece of gum again. Fred tried to pick it up. It got stuck to his hair. Verity and George laughed. Elaine covered her mouth to hide her wide smile. She performed the same circling thrust as before. This time, the gum dropped to the floor, as she did not hold out her hand. Fred looked down at it warily. "Go ahead. It's safe to pick up now. It requires the warmth of a hand to activate the charm."
Fred bent over and picked it up. He rolled it around in his palm and looked closely at it. "This is really clever. Did you come up with the charm on your own?"
"Most of my spells are homemade. So, yes, it is one I made up." She held out her hand and Fred dropped the gumball in it, careful to not touch it at the same time as Elaine. She set it on a shelf.
He turned to Verity. "Have we figured out where that Instant Darkness Powder went?"
She shook her head. "No, Mr. Weasley. I've looked all over!"
"Theft problems?"
"You could say that," George said. "We've had people walk out with more than they paid for. Most of the time we catch 'em at it, but we're still missing quite a bit of things. If only I could catch the one who nicked them!" A wistful look crossed his face.
"Yeah," Fred echoed.
Elaine gave a large smile. "I think I can solve that problem for you." She brought out her wand and slashed it at a shelf. Then she turned to the door and drew strange runes in the air. They went out and stuck to the door frame where they glowed slightly and vanished. "Now take one and walk out the door." George grabbed a skiving snackbox and walked to the door. "If you can," she added in a low voice.
The moment George was through the door, he began levitating, immobilized in everything but his mouth. It was almost the same spell she had used on the Death Eaters, who George saw, were still hovering down the road a ways. "Wicked. Now let me down!"
She flicked her wand and he came floating back into the shop. Once out of view of the Death Eaters, she made another slashing motion and George fell back. "What if we want to leave, you know, with gifts and such?"
Elaine shrugged this away carelessly. "I'll give you an exemption spell."
"Excellent. Verity, get her a uniform."
She looked at the magenta robes with some trepidation. Magenta was a color she was not used to wearing. It was brighter than she usually wore. But she put them on anyway.
The two women bustled around the shop getting what Fred and George required to fill the remaining orders for the day. As evening turned to night on the already dark street, Elaine shouldered her bag again. Verity grabbed her bag as well and they both headed out together.
"Do they sleep in the shop?" Elaine asked, curious.
"Yes. In the flat above it, actually," Verity said.
"I didn't see a door that goes up there?"
"Well, it's hidden, idn't?"
The two witches left Diagon Alley. Neither noticed the Death Eaters had vanished and the street was empty. Not too far away from the Leaky Cauldron, Verity waved goodbye to her companion at the steps of her house. Elaine waved back and continued to make her way to her house. A couple blocks from Verity's house, she turned onto a dark and silent side street.
She glared at the unlit lights along the road. She drew her wand and slid her way to her house. The lights were already on. She pushed the door open slightly. A very old man was sitting in an armchair by the flickering fire. "Sit down, my dear," said the man, gesturing to the other armchair.
Back at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Fred and George packed up for the night. "Tell me, did she look familiar to you?" George asked his twin.
"No, not really," Fred answered, returning a couple items to the appropriate shelves.
"I could have sworn that I'd seen her before."
"She could have been anyone that came into Diagon Alley. You probably have seen her around or something."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Let's go to bed then, shall we?"
The twins went to a shelf in the back of the shop, not visible from any windows or the door. It was not the shelf in the middle of the five, nor was it on the ends. It was to the left of the center. Fred took out his wand and tapped it on the shelf, speaking the opening spell in his mind. He started up the revealed staircase. "You coming, George?" he asked, for George had stopped at the base of the steps.
"In a minute. I forgot to get something." He went back into the shop and looked around for the gumball. Retrieving it from the shelf, he examined it closely. There, written in tiny flowing scrip was a name. "EEK! Joke Products?" he read, puzzled. He wondered if she had been thinking of starting her own joke shop. That would mean she was only here to spy on them. Yet, he could not think it of her. Then again, she was very clever.
A yawn told him it was time to go to sleep. He would ask her about it tomorrow. When he reached their bedroom in the flat, he confided his suspicions in Fred. "Tomorrow," he said with a yawn.
"Tomorrow," George echoed.
A bright, but watery sun rose early the next morning. Stumbling around, still half-asleep, the twins managed to get into their magenta robes without too much damage to their surroundings. They made their way to the shop and unlocked the front door. Not too long after, Verity showed up.
As she stepped into the store, George peeked down the street to look for Elaine. She was nowhere to be seen. Then, with a tiny crack, she appeared, looking out of breath and slightly harried. "Sorry!" she exclaimed, tucking several fly-away strands of her hair behind her ear. "Had some trouble waking up this morning. Took a gerbil nibbling on my ear to get me up." George noticed a tiny cut on her ear.
"Gerbils?"
"Yes, they are quite intelligent. They make wonderful house keepers as well. They'd probably make good messengers if they didn't dislike the cold so much." Elaine stepped into the shop. Suddenly both twins were at her elbows and guided her into the back room. They sat her on a chair and glowered down at her.
"We've got some questions for you."
She sat and stared back at them. "Ask away."
George opened his mouth to reach the question delicately, but Fred beat him to it. And asked in a very blunt manner. "Are you spying on us for your joke shop?"
She looked thoroughly confused for a moment. "Oh, you're referring to EEK! Joke Products, aren't you? It's my trademark. Elaine Emma Kellswater. EEK. I have no desire to start a joke shop. And anyway, there is no way it would do as good as yours."
She caught them off guard. "So you're- you're not here to spy on us?"
"Absolutely not! Didn't I just say that? I'm here because I needed the money." Catching their looks she added, "I needed the money paid by this job. It's about the only thing I'm good at." She sounded sad for a moment, then in a very Mrs. Weasley-ish voice, said, "Now, I am going to do that job. We've wasted enough time already today."
Elaine stood up and left to help Verity, who they could hear was having trouble with several large boxes. "What do you think?" Fred asked George, who was staring speculatively after her.
"Now I'm sure I've talked to her sometime before," he said instead of answering. Catching Fred's look, he shrugged and replied, "I think she's fine for now. If we think she's up to something, we can always hex her."
"Works for me. Let's go. Lots of orders to fill this morning already."
The staff at Weasley Wizard Wheezes had a busy morning, filling hundreds of orders from students at Hogwarts and elsewhere. Verity took a break midmorning, feeling exhausted. Elaine picked up the slack without any problem. George went to tally how much Instant Darkness Powder they had left and saw her carrying a large box in her thin arms.
"Whoa. Let me get that," he said, worried she would drop it.
Her eyes narrowed to slits and she glared at him. "I am quite capable of handling this myself, thank you."
"It looks heavy," he suggested again.
"I am rather stronger than I look. I can do this on my own."
He watched as she went by. He noticed what he had assumed was struggling, was her actually slightly dancing to the music she was apparently hearing in her head. He raised an eyebrow, but did nothing more than watch her progress. With a start, he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. Before he could go look, Elaine was back.
"We've run out of Instant Darkness Powder. There is a shipment tomorrow, though."
"Great. Thank you." He returned to the order room feeling slightly dejected. She was just too efficient. She seemed to have an interminable supply of energy. He went to the master order sheet. He tapped the listing for Instant Darkness Powder once, and added to it was a little note saying "temproray delay."
"That's a clever bit of magic." Elaine had come up behind him in the room. "It goes like that onto all the order sheets, right?"
"Um, yes."
"Neat." She walked away again.
Verity approached Elaine. "I'll take that off your hands. It's your day to make lunch." She consulted a schedule posted to a wall. "Here's how you get into the flat so you can use the kitchen." Verity leaned close and whispered something into the other witch's ear.
"Thanks. I'll do that right now." She found the shelf and walked up into the kitchen of the flat.
Verity struggled into the order room, carrying the box she had taken from Elaine. She set it down with a grateful sigh. "Verity, where's Elaine?" George asked.
"She's making lunch. I set her up on the schedule."
His eyes got wide for a moment, then he ran to the shelf and the flat. He burst in the kitchen to be greeted by a delicious aroma. Elaine was at the stove, stirring a pot of stew. "I'm not real good at those homey spells, like soup from the wand. I never got the knack of them." She threw in a pinch of some herb.
"Where did you get those? We don't have herbs around here." In fact, they had been practically living off of sandwiches, that being all they knew how to make that was edible.
"The seasonings? I brought them from home. I carry things like that around in my bag. You never know when you're going to need them." She tasted the stew from the wooden spoon. "Does this taste alright to you? I think it's missing something."
Surprised, he walked over to where she stood. He took the spoon carefully and cautiously sipped from the end. It was delicious. "Wow. That's really good," he said, when he was reasonably sure she hadn't just poisoned him.
"Thanks." She beamed at him. "I did the best I could with what I had. Your kitchen is so pathetically stocked. I'll pick up some real food for tomorrow." She tossed a little bit of some green leaf into the pot. She tasted it again. "Perfect."
She ladled it out into four bowls. "Let me get a couple of those," George offered.
"It's alright, I've got them." She levitated the bowls and guided them down the stairs. George followed, his stomach growling at the thought of something other than a sandwich.
Fred started a little as a bowl of stew landed in front of his face. "Hey, what's – that smells delicious!" He tasted some tentatively. "Yum!" he said, then shoveled it in. Verity did the same, albeit in a more refined manner.
"You are making breakfast, lunch, and dinner from now on!" George said, he mouth full.
"I'm glad you like it," she replied hesitantly. The next thing she knew, she had three empty bowls thrust at her.
"Tell me there is more," Fred said in a mock serious tone.
Elaine looked taken aback. "Certainly." She waved her wand and the pot came floating down the stairs as she opened the hidden door to let it through. She ladled out three more portions. Then, sitting back down on her stool, finished her first portion. In no time flat, the pot was mostly empty. Fred and George shoved each other for the privilege of licking the pot. George won. The bowl was licked clean.
The afternoon was spent producing products. At least the ones created by the Weasely twins. After checking to make sure Elaine could do a proper and fairly powerful shield charm, they set her to work on the shield objects. Though speaking was not required, the shop was not silent. In fact, it was quite loud.
Elaine and George were having a discussion pertaining to her gerbils. "How can you like them if they bite you all the time?"
"Well, I'd like them a lot less if it wasn't necessary. You see, they have to bite me to get me up in the mornings. 'Sides, it's really easy to heal. You dislike owls when they bite you for no reason, don't you?"
"Yes."
"My gerbils bite me for a reason. I don't hold it against them. Although," she added ruefully, rubbing her ear, "sometimes I wish they were a little gentler."
George laughed. "From what I've seen, a little gentler wouldn't get you up in the morning."
"True, that. There, I'm finished."
"Already? Then, can you make multiples of the gum thing you had?"
"Certainly. I made it easy to duplicate with a single spell." She waved her wand as though directing and orchestra. The gumballs divided again and again. Then, with a final flick of her wand, she sent them flying into an empty bucket, returning the original one to her hand.
"That was supposed to take longer than that," George pouted. "I guess that's all we have for you to do today. You can go home now."
"Naw, I think I'll fix all of you dinner, as none of you seem to know how to cook. I'm going to run to the supermarket down the road to get some decent food." Elaine grabbed her bag and left the shop. Once outside, she headed for the Leaky Cauldron and the way out of Diagon Alley.
There was that permeating fog that had persisted all summer darkening the sky. She felt the dreadful cold that always accompanied dementors. "Great," she said angrily. "Just what I need."
She stopped and waited for the dementors she knew would be coming. Slowly she turned around to face the dementor hovering behind her. She smiled at it. Summoning the happiest thought she could, she yelled, "Expecto Patronum!" A silvery tiger flew out of her wand tip, looking ready to rip the dementor to shreds. It backed off slowly.
As soon as it was out of sight again, Elaine lowered her wand. However, the silver tiger did not fade, but instead loped along at her side as she ran for the supermarket. Fortunately, she didn't meet any more dementors along the way. She let the tiger fade as she approached the store doors.
Deciding, for the moment, that only the essentials would be necessary at this time, she went around gathering them up. It was starting to get late and she wanted to be back at the shop before anything else happened. She gave an involuntary shudder as she thought about meeting more dementors. They had been a frightening enough idea when they guarded Azkaban, but now that they were serving Lord Voldemort, it chilled her to the bone.
Outside the supermarket again, she conjured her Patronus and ran back for the shop. She was concentrating on not tripping so hard, only her Patronus stepping in front of her stopped her from running right into the Death Eaters. She scowled at them. "Getting your arses whooped last time wasn't enough, eh? Come back for more? Bring it on, freaks." She settled back onto her feet, wand held outstretched.
First Harry Potter fic...please review and critique.