So...First Mai-Hime fanfic ever. If the characters are OOC, please tell me TuT Also, mistakes being pointed out would be...wonderful.
I DO NOT OWN MAI-HIME, CLARE BOWDITCH AND THE FEEDING SET (or their music/lyrics), SARAH WATERS (or her literature) OR THE GENIUS THAT IS NAN KING. (Which was technically already covered by the whole Sarah Waters thing. I just wanted to mention her again...NAN KING! WOOHOO!)
People Like Me, People Like You
Contridictions
You would think someone as easily irritated as Natsuki would hate things as hypocritical as contradictions. Some, she did. Some, she didn't. Some were interesting. Some were like Shizuru Viola. Shizuru, in the eyes of everyone else at their school, was cool and strong and shameless. She was teasing and smart and tall and authoritative. She was a leader. She fit her role as class president. But to Natsuki...well.
Natsuki had been her secret sweetheart for almost two years, and with her, she spoke words that would melt in your hands. She was adorable, and despite teasing Natsuki herself, blushed when her date admired and complimented her. (Something Natsuki did rather often, albeit quietly.) She smiled when she kissed Natsuki in public, but grinned to her ears when Natsuki kissed her. And she grinned happily while pleasing Natuski, but almost died in happiness at Natsuki's - surprisingly common- assertiveness. Natsuki had noticed this but had decided to leave the teasing to Shizuru. They didn't need two horribly embarrassed people in this relationship.
Shizuru was also a contradiction in public. She would be perverted and insistent about many things when she was less serious - sneaking gropes and caresses under tables during staff meetings and dates, bugging her over small, inane things she had said and done, thought always jokingly. But when she was serious, be it talking or making love, she was almost the exact opposite. She would look at Natsuki in that way - that way that reminded her of that night 27 months ago when, amongst all the chaos, Natsuki had learnt of Shizuru's feelings. The look was...sad. Lonely. Dark.
But worst of all, it showed that...self-loathing Natsuki had always hated in Shizuru. The one thing she genuinely disliked about Shizuru - her lack of love for herself. She just loved to blame herself about everything...
And in bed Shizuru was, despite being reluctant to 'hurt' or 'discomfort' her, endlessly gentle. Impossibly soft. Ridiculously delicious. Natsuki found her holding back at first annoying. She had said repeatedly that she had moved on from her childish denial, that she really did like Shizuru a lot. The brunette just couldn't seem to believe her for some reason.
The night before she had realized something, however.
She had never said those three magical words.
She felt ashamed at the thought. And she was so proud of their apparently wonderful relationship, how well they fit. She hadn't even told Shizuru she loved her! And it was far from intentional, for sure. It had just skipped her mind.
She wondered how she would. Should she just...slip it in? "Oh hey Shizuru! Nice weather, huh? By the way, I love you - so anyways..." Right. That wouldn't sound weird at all. Natsuki pondered over ideas for a while, but eventually decided she would just...know. When it next felt right to express her love, she would. She would get a chance, for sure, since they were going out later that day. A dinner date. Perfect.
Shizuru loved themed, role-playing dates. Natsuki feigned annoyance, but actually found it weirdly - spontaneously - fun. She had received an elaborate invite slide under her apartment door. It was made of thick card, bordered with detailed golden flower designs, and had the words 'To a ball you shall come' written in maroon calligraphy - probably done by Shizuru herself, since she was such a craft master. It had a little picture of a Venetian mask at the bottom. Shizuru didn't put anything else, and she didn't have to. Natsuki understood perfectly. She hoped midnight would come fast as she shuffled through her wardrobe.
Right at the back, under a removable plank, was a box. Inside that box was her dress for that night. Sh e pulled out the custom-tailored suit with an irrepressible smirk, holding it against herself as she looked in her full-body mirror. She hurriedly stripped, slipped on some extra-sexy lingerie and suited up. She tied up her hair the way Shizuru loved - high on her head, dangling down her back in one perfectly straight waterfall - and finally put her porcelain mask in place. She traced its golden designs and red ribbons of colour, and smiled in satisfaction. She was going to get Shizuru so hot.
Natsuki felt a little like that girl from that British book as she stared at her mirror image. What was her name? Nancy? Nancy Astley. NanKing. In the book - Tipping the Velvet, Natsuki now remembered. Shizuru made her read it...- she had been made to play a man, and upon putting the suit on, had almost been rejected for looking too much like a handsome young - albeit baby-faced - man. Natsuki didn't know if she should feel weirdly proud or kind of uncomfortable. She tugged at the bottom of her suit. She supposed it made sense - she had never had the widest of hips, or the largest of breasts, and with her hair up her high German cheek-bones and angled jaw were obvious. And...attractive...Natsuki thought. She grinned dashingly, and looked arrogant - like a boy. It almost scared her.
"What if I turn my own girlfriend straight?" Though that thought seemed ridiculous, it kind of scared her. She cleared her throat, brushing the worry from her mind. Impossible. She looked at the clock, and did a double take.
11:32!
She left in a flash, sprinting over to her bike. It roared to life, and she sped off down the road toward their school.
She almost burst into the school gym. She stopped herself just in time, however, and stood straight before the door, smoothing down her suit. She fiddled with her hair - it wasn't too disturbed by the bike ride. She cleared her throat quietly, and found the door - obviously - unlocked. She pushed the twin doors open.
Candle light illuminated the eerie room, painting the red velvets draped across the hall with gentle yellow. Natsuki slipped into character. Her expression was calm and handsome, her back straight, her shoulders square. She seemed much taller in the costume. Her eyes scanned the room, and finally found Shizuru's familiar figure.
Natsuki's mouth fell open a little - Shizuru looked beyond beautiful. A rich red dress flowed from her hips. There was a lacy bone corset around her waist, and it was a low-cut collar. She had a red ribbon circling her throat, a touch lighter in shade, just like her eyes. Her long nails were painted black. Natsuki licked her lips nervously as a David Hobson cover began to play. Shizuru stepped toward her slowly, rolling her hips in the most wonderful way. The second she was in range, Natsuki grasped her waist, slid her hands over Shizuru's curves. The brunette looked little startled, but very pleased. "In character, I see."
Natsuki just growled.
Natsuki couldn't fool anyone, least of all herself - she was really, really horny right now. If the dress wasnt enough, Shizuru kept making those eyes at her. She wanted to melt. She felt like wax against Shizuru's burning skin. Even through the dress...!
As they danced, the music became gentler - its style changed. Clare Bowditch played. Natsuki's jaw worked as the next song came one - Little Black Cave.
She could relate to this song a little too well.
She swayed with Shizuru to it, the lyrics painfully true as they rang in her ears. Words I haven't even heard yet. Natsuki grimaced. I'd humble my heart, I'd let you in. She almost sighed.
I left my love for you inside that cave hole.
Natsuki's tensed. No. This song wasn't her. This song wasn't them.
This song wasn't them.
She tightened her embrace on Shizuru. She breathed in her spicy cinnamon shampoo, burying her face in the crook of Shizuru's neck. The brunette shifted, stopped dancing. Natsuki waited for it. After a moment of silence, "Natsuki?" Said girl made a noise against Shizuru's neck. "Are you okay?"
Natsuki stood very still, and Shizuru stepped back a little, stooping her head to look at her. Natsuki bit her lip, glancing at her date as she thought.
"...Hey,"
Shizuru peered at her with a gentle smile. Natsuki remembered her words. They were begging to be said. "Hm?"
"...I love you."
Shizuru's heart stopped.