Language. Hints of abuse.
"I've never celebrated Christmas before." Emily said quietly staring at one of the many gifts Matt had bought her, it was still wrapped in the beautiful silver paper with a neat ribbon tied around it.
She ran her fingers across the ribbon gently, she felt bad for having not bought him much in return, after all she didn't have a job to earn herself any money so no money meant no gifts.
It looked selfish of her. Matt had allowed her into his home which obviously he didn't let a lot of people do, he had given up his bed so she could sleep comfortably all night every night, he had even given her some of his clothes. Emily sighed it did look selfish of her to not give him anything.
The only thing she was going to give him was worthless in this era but had sentimental value to her and when he finally understood the story it would have value to him too.
"You are supposed to open it." Matt said in his distinct Irish accent before sitting down on the sofa beside her and placing his coffee and her tea on the coffee table beside them. "Pull the ribbon."
He could see into Emily's eyes as she sat facing him slightly wearing another of his slightly to big t-shirts, in fact it was his favourite t-shirt and not just because it was on Emily. In her mind she was living some kind of past nightmare, the reason she didn't celebrate Christmas and in order to protect her from that hurt Matt reached up and touched his finger to the end of Emily's nose.
But it was too late, all of a sudden it was the eighteenth century all over again.
Broken glass. Shattered hearts. Damaged souls. Hurtful words.
"Christmas. Pah. An excuse for beggars and thieves, vagrants and vagabonds to get a little extra of my hard earned money!"
Reply. Slap. Kick. Cry.
"What makes you think, I'd want to celebrate a day like today with a person like you!" Pause. "Although if it means I can get that dress off of you..."
Insults. Hair pulling. Painful kisses. Rough hands.
"It's not optional Emily, take it off. Now!"
That was why Emily had never celebrated Christmas before, her father didn't believe in it and after she had married the man her father had decided she should he didn't believe in anything other then his money.
"Em?" Matt said cautiously placing his hands over Emily's as she held the gift, she shook her head and looked back up at him slightly panicked. The cold and numb feeling that had washed over her body slowly melted away as she recognised she was safe with Matt.
She didn't have to be afraid of him or anyone else, he'd already saved her from danger before so he certainly wasn't the kind of person to put her in danger. "Whatever happened, it won't happen again. I promise."
Emily smiled silently brushing her chocolate curls over her left shoulder and letting her free hand run across the scar he had left on her neck. She could remember that night perfectly but chose not to, she didn't want Matt to see her as weak, since the day they met she tried to be strong and in control of her emotions but the barriers she built had vanished after Ethan had forced her into that horrid tombstone.
She was glad she had met Matt and he had rescued her, Emily could remember clinging to him and sobbing as he pulled her out. She could remember her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs barely able to handle her own weight and trying to control her breathing by burying her face in Matt's chest and breathing in his calming scent.
Emily could almost feel Matt's strong arms holding her up in the middle of the ARC as she trembled, the way he snapped at Philip who attempted to touch her, and the way he just left the anomaly research centre during the middle of the day to take her home and make sure she was ok.
"Emily. Either you open your present, or I'll do it." Matt disturbed her thoughts purposely that time, he knew when she was struggling to cope with past events by the way she would frown, he gently took her hand away from the small scar that tainted her delicate skin and placed it over the box.
Once again Emily came back to reality and smiled, carefully pulling at the ribbon around the gift and then peeling back the paper to reveal a long velvet blue box.
"You bought me a box?" Emily asked a little confused when Matt laughed at her, he gently took the box from her hands and flipped it open soundlessly before handing it back to her.
"I wanted you to have this in case you decided you wanted to go back through an anomaly, that way you wouldn't ever forget about me." He explained as Emily stared at the contents of the box.
Inside lay a white gold necklace with the letters Á.l.a.i.n.n. hanging freely side by side, on one stroke of the italic Á lay an alternative row of clear and sapphire diamonds, it was just enough to make the piece look beautiful without over crowding the letters and making it look gaudy.
Emily sat in disbelief nobody had ever bought her a gift that had so much meaning and value before not even her own father, suddenly her world had flipped all over again in a way she had never experienced before. She carefully ran her finger across the first letter and sighed as tears filled her eyes.
"D-do you like it?" Matt asked shifting awkwardly in case the woman beside him said no. "It's Irish."
Emily looked up from the necklace she held in her shaky hands and smiled.
"What does it mean?" Matt gently plucked the box from Emily's hand and removed the necklace silently, he placed the box to one side and gently placed the necklace around her neck before clasping the two back pieces together and laying her silk like hair back over her shoulder.
"It...means beautiful." He said trying to keep his face from giving away the fact that his heart was thundering in his chest.
The fact that Emily hadn't said she liked the necklace but hadn't rejected it either somewhat irked Matt slightly, he was desperate to know how it made her feel and more importantly how he made her feel. Because he certainly knew how she made him feel.
Even when he thought about it now it hurt him deeply. What if he hadn't found Emily after Ethan trapped her in that tombstone? What if she had suffocated and died? Matt felt his throat thicken at the thought of losing her.
"M-Matt." Emily whispered quietly. "I can't take it..."
"Why?" He replied quietly, it felt like his world was crashing down around him, she was going to go back to her time and forget about him completely. She'd go back and then maybe she'd go back to her husband and he'd hurt her more then before, or maybe she would meet somebody new somebody who would appreciate having a beautiful woman beside him. They would have beautiful little children and live in a huge house next to a glistening lake where they'd grow old together. "Don't you like it, I could get you a different one."
Emily would just leave him in this time where he'd forever think about her and they'd probably never look at each other again. Some kind of intense burn to not let Emily go back to her century nearly took over. Nearly.
"No Matt. I can't take this back with me because I...I don't want to go back. I don't fit in here but I can't go back to my time, not without you." And then just like that all the negative thoughts of Emily leaving him and moving on disappeared, his world had just changed dramatically. He wasn't going to force himself upon Emily if she didn't like him like that, he couldn't bare the thought of her going through what she did back home.
Matt at that moment decided if she didn't love him that was fine, he'd just be glad to have her beside him.
"You want to stay, here, with me?"
Emily nodded trying to fight the escaping tears that rolled down her cheeks as she smiled. Matt couldn't fight the urge he had to hug her and suddenly wrapped his arms around her, he didn't care what his father had told him any more, the feelings he had for Emily had just crept up on him.
He hadn't planned to fall in love with her but that undoubtedly was how he felt and this... Emily wanting to stay meant there was a tiny glimmer of hope there for him, she might just feel the same way, or he could make her feel the same way.
Matt held on to Emily for a little while and sighed when her arms wove around him and her cold hands rested on his back, he pulled back again after and smiled.
"You can stay as long as you like, I'll talk to Lester about giving you a job too." Matt said gently cupping Emily's face with his hands.
"I'd like just for today, to celebrate Christmas properly. And worry about that tomorrow." Emily replied covering his hands with hers, Matt grinned.
"Of course." He gently tucked a piece of Emily's hair behind her ear. "I wonder where Becker got to last night."
Becker woke up in an unfamiliar red walled room, he was definitely tucked up in a bed but it sure wasn't his own and this certainly wasn't his room in his apartment, after a few moments he became hyper aware he wasn't alone in the bed. There was someone lying beside him, their head resting on his right arm and their arm draped across his bare stomach.
For a second he hesitated knowing that whoever he was lying with was probably naked to and that had meant they had slept together, he was worried, he wasn't sure who it was.
He remembered both Jess and Connor getting a little tipsy 'cause he had to take them both back out to the car, he also remembered seeing something remarkably odd from Abby but he didn't mention it.
"Please." Was all he could mumble, please, don't let it be Connor beside me. Anybody but Connor. Becker slowly turned his head and sighed slightly in relief and also in nervousness. "Jess." He whispered using his free hand to brush her wild hair away from her eyes as she slept, he had broken his golden rule.
Any kind of relationship with a work colleague is not permitted, be that a love connection or a physical connection, it wasn't allowed. He groaned as he looked down at her no matter how hard he tried to deny it there were small tell-tale signs that they had been particularly busy the night before.
Like the clothes that they had obviously started taking off in another room because there was a pile of their underwear and then somebodies jeans appeared to be leaving the room, or the fact that Jess had what was going to become a lust induced bruise on her neck, next to the other... three.
He tried pulling his arm out from underneath the young woman but she just shuffled closer, wrapping her arm around him even tighter.
"Jess." Becker said a little louder then before and saw her stir but she didn't open her eyes. "Jess, wake up."
She moaned and shifted, Becker took the opportunity to pull his arm out from under her and get up grabbing his clothes and heading for her bathroom without another word. How could he be so stupid she's barely old enough to even be considered a woman, Jess was drunk he was sober, he took advantage of her.
But he could barely even remember doing it, his memory was patchy and hazy like someone had pressed the erase button in certain areas, he knew he wasn't drunk and he also knew in his right mind he wouldn't have let things get this far with Jess. So how did he end up in bed with her?
For quite some time Becker found himself staring in the mirror after putting his clothes back on, his shirt must have been in the living-room because he didn't see it as he left Jess' bedroom.
"Merry fucking Christmas." He mumbled angrily at himself, Jess probably had family she should have been with, people who loved and missed her greatly. He should have been at home by himself like he did every Christmas and not here taking Jess away from her family. He sighed in defeat and ran the tap using the cold water to splash over his face, he quickly shut the facet off dried his face and with a deep breath stepped outside.
Jess was stood in the little kitchen of her apartment in a plain white t-shirt and black trackies, Becker had never seen her in anything relatively normal before so he was quite surprised.
"Do you want a coffee or something?" He came away from his little trance hearing Jess' voice, she didn't turn around when she asked automatically showing him he had offended her when he practically jumped out of her bed.
"I guess so." He said cautiously, heading to the living-room where his black dress shirt had been thrown over the back of the sofa, as he picked it up he had to force himself not to remember the vivid images of him making out with Jess on that very same sofa. In the silence he pulled his shirt on and did it up, when he turned back Jess was staring out of the window above her sink holding her mug in her hands and his on the far end of the counter. "Jess?"
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to..." She said quietly not moving a muscle.
"D-do you want me to stay?" He stuttered a little.
Jess scoffed something Becker had never heard her do before, she turned back with these tiny tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Does it matter what I want you obviously regret everything last night and I get it I understand completely, who would want an annoying nineteen year old girl hanging off their arm, it was a mistake us sleeping together. Why didn't you just sneak out while I was sleeping or something, why'd you have to do it like this, for once I thought I'd be able to spend Christmas with someone I cared about, really cared about-"
"Jess stop it-"
"-I hate you. Why'd you have to be you? If I had fallen in love with Matt or Connor I'd know there would never be any chance, but you I've never seen you remotely close to any one that got my hopes up, I'm such an idiot what's-"
Becker interrupted again but this time by forcefully kissing her so she would just stop talking, he hadn't planned for it to develop into anything other then a silencing quick kiss but once their lips touched he found himself unable to stop.
Jess hesitated knowing that the kiss was going to set her up for more hurt but instead of pulling away like she had intended her fingers wove heavily into Becker's hair, she squeaked slightly as he placed his hands on her hips and then picked her up so she could sit on the counter all the while not breaking their kiss.
She could feel herself dragging his body closer as his tongue lined her bottom lip curiously, it occurred to her then that even though Becker had woken up and freaked out finding himself in her bed he very much wanted to be with her, otherwise it would have remained a simple kiss instead of him edging for something more... beautiful.
Alcohol. That was all Becker could taste and he put that down as the reason his head was spinning, he was getting drunk on Jess' breath alone not that it was bad.
He let his right arm wrap around her waist so he could pull her even closer while his left hand held the back of her neck. And then as quickly as they started Becker pulled away allowing his forehead to rest against Jess' as they both took in necessary amounts of oxygen and stared at each other quite intensely.
"I don't regret last night, it's just something is stopping me from remembering it properly." He told her honestly line by line taking what she had yelled at him and twisting it to make it somewhat positive. "Maybe it's something I did or maybe you are just that good in bed..."
Jess blushed and giggled as he smirked his hands moving to hold her waist and her hands moving to the back of his neck.
"I'd love to have you 'hanging off my arm' what ever the hell that means more then anything but you'll be a distraction and someone will get hurt, if you'd fallen in love with Connor or Matt it'd probably kill me, I don't have anybody else. And yes if you'd like me to I will spend Christmas with you, this Christmas and the next and the next if that's what you want!"
He gently pulled the young woman down from the counter and watched a smile grow on her face making his own grow itself.
"I need to go and take a shower." Jess said carefully letting her arms wrap around the tall man stood in her kitchen and her head rest against his chest where she could hear his heartbeat.
"Go take a shower, I'll go home get changed and get your gift."
"Abby, it's Christmas day, please don't be mad at me. I didn't mean to break it, I'll get you another one or I'll pay to get the frame fixed."
I'm not mad at you idiot, and I'm not mad that you broke the picture frame either it's just a frame. Abby thought to herself as she sat slumped against the door her hands clutched tightly together, by the sounds of things Connor was sat on the other side of the door trying to get her to come out of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry please just come out." He begged through the door uncomfortably, Abby couldn't deny feeling bad for keeping her boyfriend locked outside where he was obviously quite distressed but she was scared, scared of what he'd say and what she'd say back in return.
She had never been scared about anything in her relationship with Connor, he was a complete dork and she loved every part of him and sure he wasn't the most gorgeous guy in existence but the way he wore that black fedora really did it for her, and those stupid fingerless gloves that were so pointless but he wore them religiously and she loved each ridiculous pair he owned because of him.
Abby loved the fact that sometimes he'd get so occupied in his work and playing with his gadgets he'd forget to eat so she'd have to take lunch to his office, where they'd have a lunch date, his work would be abandoned and they'd solely focus on each other until she left.
Her favourite part of the silly man was probably his ability to be the clumsiest most bumbling idiot in existence, that was the main reason the picture frame containing a picture of her and her beautiful baby brother Jack had been broken.
Connor was so excited to see if 'Santa' had brought his any presents he fell stumbling and as he tried to grab the desk he missed and smashed the photo to the ground.
Of course he apologised immediately but something inside Abby made tears spring to her eyes, the frame wasn't destroyed so badly it couldn't be fixed and she really wasn't angry about it she had lived with Connor for a while now and knew how clumsy he was, that one pondering emotion turned into a terrifying life changing reality that every woman came to face at some point in their lives.
Pregnancy. They had always been careful about that kind of thing but she discovered being in love sometimes meant it couldn't wait, that was likely the cause.
"Abby!" Connor called whining slightly this was not his idea of spending Christmas with his girlfriend, he wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh as she opened the gifts he had given her, he really wanted to repeat last Christmas.
Sure they didn't do much but that was the beauty of it, they didn't have anomalies to close or dinosaurs to chase, they just sat barely watching the Christmas themed movie they had put on and just took they opportunity to appreciate each other.
"This isn't about your picture frame is it?" He paused Abby panicked thinking that he might clock onto why she had ran to the bathroom. "It's because you forgot to buy me, Nancy and Sid a Christmas present isn't it?" Connor said through the door humour evident in his voice, Abby couldn't help but laugh at Connor's attempt to make her leave the bathroom.
"No baby, I bought you all a present you don't have worry about that."
"Then please tell me what's going on cause I love you and you are kind of scaring me." That was another reason Abby loved Connor, he was open with his feelings unlike any other guy she had met, a prime example being the great Captain Becker.
It was so dangerously obvious that he had a little thing for the ARC's tech whiz Jess but he refused to let anyone in on it, up until the point Abby followed him into he armoury for a little competitive target practice and practically force it out of him.
"You wouldn't love me if I ruined your day." She replied quietly clutching the test tightly in her hand, if she looked down now it was potentially the end of the road for her and Connor.
"You couldn't ruin my day if you set my star wars collection alight and threw it from the top of the empire state building, and of course I'd still love you. You just have to tell me what's going on so I can prove it to you." Connor said honestly, Abby looked down at the door and could see Connor's shadow creeping under the crack. "Please open the door Abby."
She sighed in frustration and discomfort as she considered letting her boyfriend in and putting an end to his misery, if the test she held in her hand said positive he was more then likely to run a mile screaming. Abby didn't know if she could live without Connor in her life, he was the most important person in her very existence.
"Could you...could you make me a coffee then I'll come out." Abby bargained with Connor, it was just a simple thing she asked for that she could have done herself but in all his dedication and love Connor said yes and marched out to the kitchen to make the drink requested.
Abby stood up from her spot on the floor and willed herself to look down at the pregnancy test but her hand was frozen over the screen that showed the results and she couldn't force herself to open it and see, so instead she stuffed it into the pocket of her trousers and opened the door, slowly and quietly following Connor out into the kitchen where he stood at the counter making two coffees silently. He must have heard the bathroom door open because he turned around and smiled weakly seeing Abby stood in front of him.
They stood apart facing each other not knowing what to do or say, after a few moments of awkward silence Connor held out his hand as an invitation to his girlfriend which she accepted gratefully, Connor pulled Abby towards him and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
Abby secured her arms around him in turn letting one wrap around his waist while the other around his back so her hand could lay just below his shoulder, she let her head rest on his chest as she clutched his shirt for comfort.
Connor silently ran his fingers through Abby's blonde hair, it was Christmas day and they should have been celebrating and having a really good day but something was scaring her, and his Abby usually wasn't afraid of anything not a ten foot dinosaur or a scary government official. They'd faced a year in the Cretaceous defending themselves with nothing but sharp sticks even then she lost hope but didn't show any fear.
"C-Connor... I need to give you something." Abby stuttered pushing one of her hands into her pocket and holding the test.
"Ok. What is it?" He asked gently squeezing his girlfriend in reassurance.
"You might not like it." She said quietly before holding the test out to him, a little hesitantly he took the white stick from his girlfriend and looked down at it, Abby took the chance to head back to the bathroom in his distraction and this time she wasn't coming back out. If it was positive and he was going to leave her then she didn't want to see it.
"Abby..."
Matt watched as Emily stood on the terrace of his apartment over looking the great city of London, he had saw her tremble a few times in the cold of the night but she didn't make any attempt to come back into the warmth, so instead he pulled his t-shirt back on and picked up the blanket carrying it out onto the terrace.
He made his presence known by clearing his throat so not to scare her, she had been a little jumpy after telling Matt the whole story of how her father had arranged her marriage and what her husband used to do to her, she cried for quite some time begging Matt not to see her any different like she was dirty or not to think she was a dreadful wife. She really had tried to be a good wife to her husband, but his cruelty made it impossible.
Emily turned back and smiled sadly at the man as he held the blanket in his hands waiting for her to say it was ok for him to come closer but instead she said. "You don't have to stand there like I'm going to break in half."
"Right, sorry." He replied carefully stepping forward out of his living-room and onto the terrace, the tiles were cold on his bare feet and the chill of the wind bit at his legs, he tried not to notice Emily was wearing one of his white button up shirts and had nothing on her legs meaning she was probably in her underwear. He gently pulled the blanket apart and wrapped one end around her and the other around him, it meant they had to get quite close but neither person minded.
They stood beside each other silently, Matt admiring the stars while Emily stared down at the city trying to remember what it looked like before.
"I used to be able to see all the stars from where we lived, but the lights from all the buildings ruin the view." Emily said not really directing the comment to Matt.
"Can't see any of the stars where I'm from."
Emily smiled a little at his dark humour she was tempted to call him an idiot and say it was because they lived underground but she refrained from doing so, she let out an involuntary shiver because of the cold, she didn't expect Matt to put an arm around her and jumped slightly. He held his hand up in surrender showing he meant her no harm before holding the blanket back out to her and inviting her back into the little warmth it provided.
That time Emily was prepared when Matt put his arm around her to keep her warm, she in return shifted a little closer to him glad for the safety and protection he had promised her. Through out the day Emily had thought about stepping through the next anomaly that opened up into her time and what would happen to her if she did, no matter what out come she thought of, her main concern was always the young Irish man stood next to her. What would become of him if she left, as she pondered her fingers travelled up to the necklace he had given her.
"Think about going home?" Matt asked watching her, she glanced at him and shrugged. "I won't be angry if you change your mind you know."
She shook her head stubbornly. "I'm not going back there it's too much to deal with, here it's... beautiful, even with dinosaurs running around I'd prefer to live like this."
Matt smiled. "We are going to have to do something about sleeping arrangements though, I'm not going to be able to sleep on the sofa much longer." He hadn't meant to suggest anything from that phrase but Emily laughed.
"That's a really crap way of trying to get into bed with me." She smiled and dragged herself even closer to Matt so her right side was touching his left side completely. "But I don't mind, I feel safer when I'm with you."
Matt couldn't help the little grin that grew on his face. If he had known it would have been that easy, he would have mentioned something months ago.
Jess looked around the table and smiled seeing her family talking her elder brother sat with his fiancé, she had been talking through out the day about their upcoming wedding and a house they had been looking at, they were thinking about buying it and starting a family. Jess smiled her older brother had never been the type to stick with one girl before but it seemed to her he had changed.
She then looked at her sister who was just two years younger then her sat beside her was a young man the same age, he was undoubtedly handsome but not to her tastes he looked like... a seventeen year old school boy, from what she had heard he was a lovely young man with a few unfortunate circumstances but he didn't let them stop him.
After admiring her sisters relationship she looked at the head of the table where her father sat beside an empty chair where her mother would sit when she was finished in the kitchen. Her father smiled up at her and she smiled back although it was forced, she forced the smile because the seat beside her was empty. After much convincing earlier that day Becker promised he would have dinner with her family.
Admittedly he was unsure because they were not officially dating as Becker put it 'they were just testing the water,' but Jess had begged because she didn't want him to be alone on Christmas day and being a third wheel at Abby's or Matt's really wasn't on his agenda.
Becker had promised he'd come with Jess to meet her family, he was going to go home and change then he'd meet her at their family home but there she was sat alone surrounded by happy couples.
"Jess, where is this young man you were supposed to be bringing with you?" Her father asked patiently his hands clasped above the table, Jess noticed all of the eyes around the table turn to her. She shrugged like a child staring down at her own hands. "Don't worry, I'm sure he will be here in a minute." Jess smiled a watery smile her eyes connecting with her brothers for a second he smiled sympathetically before going back to his soon to be wife.
As if by magic Jess heard someone knock on the door and she bounced up from her seat grinning as she headed to the door, she recognised Becker through the frosted glass even if it did distort him. She opened the door and near gasped at the beautiful sight before her, he stood in a black dress shirt dark blue jeans and a black pair of shoes, his hair combed the same way it usually was he smiled slightly feeling a little awkward. That was just before Jess threw herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck feeling a little silly she had doubted him.
"I thought you weren't going to come." She whispered into his neck as he picked her up saving her from tip toeing to reach.
"I promised you I would, I broke a promise once and had to live with the pain for a year." Becker replied wrapping his arms around the young woman to reassure her.
"Jess love, let the poor man in it's freezing out there." Her mother said standing in the kitchen looking out at them, Jess sighed as Becker placed her back on her feet kissing her forehead as he did, Jess then wove her fingers through his and guided him through. Her heart skipped a beat as he squeezed her hand perfectly content with allowing her to hold his, unlike earlier that morning when he probably would have freaked out.
He allowed Jess to escort him through her family house introducing her to each member of her family and their partners before settling down at the table.
"It's Christmas day darling, don't you have your own family to be with today?" Jess' mother asked as they sat and ate.
"Uh...no ma'am. I grew up in a foster centre in Romsey, nobody wanted me." Becker answered honestly.
"Oh my you poor boy..." Jess' mother gasped dramatically. "You aren't a boy though are you can I ask exactly how old you are?"
Jess took a deep breath her mother had the ability to change her opinion on someone very quickly if there was something she didn't like, she might not agree with their age gap. "I'm twenty six."
"Oh right." She paused and smiled again. "He could have been thirty I suppose."
"Mum!" Jess' younger sister cried worried their parent had offended their guest but Becker didn't let the comment worry him, he grasped Jess' hand under the table and squeezed it gently to tell her he was ok with what was said. "Obviously he's a nice man otherwise Jess wouldn't have gone for him."
Jess watched as her mothers smile grew as she gazed at them more in particular Becker. "Well you appear to have won over the family with just your presence alone, any man that can do that clearly has nothing but the best intentions for our daughter." Her father said smiling and placing his cutlery down on his empty plate. "Promise me no harm will come to my daughter both physically and emotionally."
He said looking straight at Becker, but he had turned to Jess holding her hands in one of his and with the other he brushed a lock of her away from her eyes so he could stare at them, every emotion either one of them felt at the time was evident at that moment in that intense gaze.
"I promise..." He replied not taking his eyes away from her.
"Ready love?" Connor asked gently weaving his fingers through Abby's, she smiled and nodded squeezing his hand. She had expected him to freak out and run away after the mornings incident but instead there he was standing beside her willing to walk around the streets with her, their Christmas presents still lay unopened under the miniature tree in the corner of the living-room after Abby's second stint in the bathroom Connor didn't care about gifts any more, or the broken lock hanging off their bathroom door.. He had never heard or seen Abby cry so hard and it broke his heart.
He had read the results on the pregnancy test but barely had any time to acknowledge them because he heard Abby sobbing. He rushed straight to her but found the door locked again and without hesitating he rammed it repeatedly until the lock gave out, Abby had reduced herself to the tile floor leaning against the bath and at first as Connor sat beside her she pushed him away trying to make his leaving her just a little easier.
The rejection stung like a slap in the face but Connor refused, reaching to try and hold her until she gave in crumbling into his arms and there she wept for nearly an hour.
"I-If you are g-g-going to go..." She said desperately clinging to his waist despite her words. "...J-Just go, please."
"Abby, have you even looked at the test?" He asked a little smile of comfort growing on his face, she shook her head. "Here take a look then decide how you feel." He said handing her the test, but she held the little screen so it pointed to the floor unable to bring herself to look.
That was when it started he gently brought her back from the panicked state she had put herself in and they lightly skimmed the edges of the topic and him trying to convince her to just flip it over so he could look again, and read it to her. He softly ran his hands over her arms and then something popped into his mind, something he remembered.
He picked Abby up nice and slowly taking the test from her and throwing it away before she could look not that she protested, gently he took her hands and led her to the bedroom where he pulled a thin jumper from her cupboard and ordered her to put it on and then two hoodies from his side of the cupboard one for himself and the other for her to pile on the top. He then grabbed his shoes forcing them on and then hers, gently sliding the trainers she rarely wore onto her feet, he stood again not telling his plan just wandering about the flat. He took her to the door and took his jacket from the peg and wrapped it around her and then taking another of his own and pulling that on.
"It's a little cold outside but I think you'll like where we are going." He said honestly squeezing her hand before heading out into the world, he probably should have let Abby wipe her face first because it was obvious she had been crying but they left anyway.
Silently they both walked through the streets of London for a change there were barely any cars on the road, so they took the chance to walk freely in the middle of the road Connor occasionally glanced over at Abby who stared at the floor, after a soft loving squeeze of her chilly hands she smiled a little as they continued their journey.
"Where are we going?" She asked quietly.
"Regent's park." Connor said bluntly but giving away no extra details, not that Abby asked she just nodded and carried on walking beside him. Connor wasn't used to this quiet almost obedient Abby, he liked when she would fight back and snap at him when he was stupid.
The park was quite as they crossed York Bridge passing the closed restaurants and cafés, it wasn't until they passed through the empty rose gardens Abby noticed the faint strum of a guitar and voices. The voices were singing.
"I'll say hey, you'll say baby how's your day, I'll say crazy..." Abby listened to the song quietly as they approached the open arena and sighed seeing four people sat on the second row of benches and a man sat on the edge of the stage gently playing a song, she looked up at her boyfriend and watched as he mumbled the words along with the song.
"He sits on this stage and plays every Christmas, every time you left me to go visit your family I came here I didn't expect to find anybody."
Abby smiled properly for the first time in a few hours and followed Connor as he headed down towards the little group, it took Abby a moment to recognise her colleagues and friends were in fact the people on the bench. She noticed Matt and Emily both sat beside each other, he had his arm around her waist as her head rested on his shoulder and they were both just listening to the guitar player singing as he perched on the edge of the stage.
Beside them was Becker and Jess, she sat on his lap with her arm around his shoulder. One of his arms was wrapped around his back to support her and the other resting on her thighs drawing circles lazily on the skin, he looked happy as he stared up at Jess and she stared in return, neither of them were smiling but they were glowing making them seem happier.
Connor gently guided Abby down to their friends greeting them with as much cheer as he could muster but when it came to Abby's turn she just mumbled a hello and sat as far away from the other couples as possible, Connor stood watching his girlfriend and undoubtedly the love of his life walk away from him and their friends, he had thought that bringing her to meet them would help cheer her up or maybe she'd have the courage to ask him the results of the test but she didn't.
"What's going on Connor?" Matt asked as both the girls stood and walked away from their respective partners to try and comfort Abby. Connor sighed and sat in the gap between the two men slowly explaining what had happened from the broken frame all the way to looking at the test, but he didn't tell either of them the result he just stepped around the detail and carried on with the story, the whole time watching Jess and Emily sit beside his lover and hug her talking with her.
"You aren't a woman person," Matt said shaking his head. "She's terrified that if she is pregnant you will leave her she thinks you won't feel ready for a baby, Lester might not let her keep her job and then there will be no money, no way of looking after a baby. And I'm just guessing here but she doesn't look like she'd ever had a baby before so that's probably scaring the crap out of her too." Matt stopped his attention being caught by the guitarist change of song. "Every thing you and Abby have been through, she doesn't want to lose you."
Connor stood up seeing the girls standing as well, Abby's beautiful hands clenched together tightly as they ushered her closer. Connor extended his hand like he had earlier and smiled trying to take in the words he could hear in the background of their silent exchange.
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.
"I love you Connor." Abby said wrapping her arms around him and not caring who saw them.
"I love you too," He whispered back, grinning on the inside. "Both of you..."