Disclaimer: Any characters that you may recognize don't actually belong to me. Yet.
Dorcas Meadowes stretched out under her sheets. "Morning," she called out, rather sleepily. She pulled back her hangings and kicked her legs over the side of her bed.
"Morning," replied Emmeline Vance, brushing her long brown hair at her dressing table.
Dorcas sat on the edge of her bed for a moment longer, as if waiting for something. "Lily?" she said after a moment. "Are you awake?"
There was no answer.
"Silly girl," said Dorcas, getting off her bed and heading over to the dormitory's window. She ripped the curtains back and sunlight streamed into the room.
Emmeline moaned with pain. "The dark… it was good…"
"It's school," continued Dorcas, "you have to get up." Dorcas stood at the foot of Lily's bed for a minute, staring at the hangings as if she could see right through them. She planted her hands on her hips.
"Just wake her already," said Emmeline, who was turned away from the sun and was tying her plait together.
Dorcas shrugged and pulled Lily's hangings apart. She gasped.
The bed was neatly made, with no sign of Lily.
"Lily?" asked Dorcas. "If you're playing hide and seek, this isn't funny. You're keeping me from my breakfast."
"And that's utterly dreadful," said Emmeline with a roll of her eyes. "We'd better look for her, I suppose."
They searched their entire dormitory and bathroom, with no signs of their best friend.
"Oh my God," said Dorcas, sinking to the floor in the middle of the dormitory. "We've lost her."
Even Emmeline was not acting as calm as she had been. "She might have gone to breakfast already. She's probably waiting for us in the Great Hall."
Dorcas still looked worried, but she got up off the floor and followed Emmeline down to the Great Hall.
They sat in their usual spots at Gryffindor's table. "Emmeline!" whispered Dorcas urgently. "She's not here."
Emmeline opened her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the four Marauders.
"Morning, Meadowes, Vance," said James Potter, nodding at each of them. "Have either of you seen –"
"Students!" said Professor Dumbledore, standing at the front of the Great Hall to address them all. "Any students who take Astronomy will have no classes until further notice. The Astronomy Tower is off-limits. If you do take Astronomy, treat your class time as a study period." He nodded at them, and then sat back down behind the staff table.
The students murmured happily about having a free lesson.
"As I was saying," said James, passing the toast plate along to his best friend, Sirius Black. "Have either of you seen Evans? She was s'posed to meet me in the common room last night –"
Dorcas quickly turned her laugh into a hacking cough.
James gave her a funny look. "What?"
Dorcas choked down her toast. "Nothing."
"So have you seen her or not?"
"Wait," said Emmeline slowly, staring at James as if he were some alien species. "She wasn't there last night, was she? She didn't come back after dinner when she said she had to go up to the Astronomy Tower –"
"So she's been missing for twelve hours?" asked James, interrupting Emmeline.
"We must search for her!" cried Sirius, jumping on the table.
"Would you please sit down, Mr Black," said Professor McGonagall from the staff table, giving Sirius a sharp look.
Sirius climbed back down. Girls around the Hall giggled.
James was now giving Sirius a funny look. "What did you do that for?"
"I dunno," muttered Sirius. "It's just – well – Evans is missing, right? So why don't we search for her?"
James continued to stare.
"Alright," admitted Sirius. "I had a bit of coffee."
James raised his eyebrows. Then he suddenly got his usual mischievous look in his hazel eyes. "But yes! We must search for Lily. We should start in the Forest!"
"But she said she was going to the –" began Emmeline.
"Does that mean we can skip class today?" asked Dorcas. A grin spread over her face.
"And now they've closed it, so wouldn't it –" started Emmeline, but…
"Yes! Let's sneak out now!" said Sirius. "But we should go separately otherwise they'll get suspicious."
"Is anyone going to listen to –" began Emmeline heatedly.
"To you?" finished James. "Nope. Meet you all in the common room."
Sirius winked at Dorcas as he, James, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew; the other members of the Marauders; headed out of the Hall.
Dorcas giggled a not-very-Dorcas-like giggle. "He winked at me," she said happily.
Emmeline rolled her eyes and ate the last of her bacon. "Come on," she said, standing up. "We'd better go."
Dorcas jumped to her feet after stuffing one last piece of toast in her mouth and the two friends headed up to Gryffindor Tower.
"No need for dark clothing, m'dears," said Sirius as they came through the portrait hole. "Jamesie has an innovative object."
"An Invisibility Cloak!" said James, bringing it out from behind his back with a flourish.
Emmeline looked surprised, but Dorcas' expression didn't change. In fact, she looked like she'd seen it before.
"What?" said James to Dorcas. "Surely a Muggleborn like you hasn't seen a –"
"Seen it, used it," said Dorcas with a dismissive wave of her hand.
James stared at her for a second longer, and then he rounded on Sirius. "What the HELL have you been up to, you –" he cried, one hand jumping to his wand pocket, the other dropping his Invisibility Cloak and preparing for a good whack.
"Stop it!" said Emmeline before James' hand made contact. "We have to concentrate on the matter at hand."
Sirius and James both looked at their hands.
"Huh?" said Sirius.
"Lily!" said Emmeline, exasperatedly trying to explain. "Gone!"
"Oh right," said James, catching on immediately. He picked his Invisibility Cloak up off the ground. "Let's get going."
"Wait!" said Sirius. "I don't get it!"
They ignored him and the six of them made their way out of the portrait hole and slipped the Invisibility Cloak over them.
"Talk about cramped," said Emmeline, who was squished between Sirius and Peter.
They headed through Hogwarts and out into the grounds.
"Do we really have to go in there?" asked Dorcas as they stood, in the most cramped fashion possible, on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
"No," pointed out Emmeline. "If someone would just listen to me!"
The other five turned to her expectantly.
Emmeline sighed with relief. "Lily disappeared after she said she had to go to the Astronomy Tower, right?"
They nodded at her.
"And then Dumbledore announced today that the Astronomy Tower was off-limits until further notice, right?"
They nodded again.
"So that means –"
"Lily's in the dungeons!" cried Sirius.
"To the dungeons!" yelled James, leading the way.
"Oh, bloody hell," said Emmeline, tagging along at the end of their rather odd, kind of invisible, line.
The group headed back towards the castle, and then down into the dungeons.
"Slow down!" gasped Peter, who had ended up at the back of the line.
"This is why you should stay fit, Wormtail!" said Sirius, rushing behind James, with the two girls behind him.
Peter stopped to catch his breath.
A door slammed open behind them. The five still under the Cloak shrank back against the wall.
Peter, meanwhile, was standing very still; absolutely horror-struck.
"Oh no," muttered Dorcas. "My foot's showing."
"Well stand on one leg then," hissed James. "Now shut up!"
Professor Slughorn came marching down the corridor. "Mister Pettigrew!" he exclaimed, spotting Peter. "Shouldn't you be in class?"
"Meadowes," whispered Sirius through gritted teeth. "Put. Your. Foot. Down."
"I can't," said Dorcas desperately. "I'll be seen!"
"Meadowes…"
"Just wait!"
"So you've earned yourself a detention, Pettigrew," concluded Slughorn. "And I think I'd better take you to your class." He led Peter back down the corridor.
Dorcas put her foot back on the ground.
"Owww…" moaned Sirius, doubling over in pain.
"What is your problem?" asked Dorcas, staring at Sirius incredulously.
"Your foot… was…"
Dorcas' eyes widened. "Oh! Oh my gosh, sorry! You should have said something!"
Sirius stood up properly and narrowed his eyes. "I did."
"Sure," said Dorcas dismissively, with a toss of her corn-coloured curls. "Now, where's Lily?"
"Not here," said Emmeline. "I tried to tell you guys before, she's –"
"Returned to Gryffindor Tower?" suggested Sirius.
"No!" said Emmeline and Remus together. Emmeline turned to stare at Remus. He hadn't said a word all morning.
Remus looked away. He gave his friends a disdainful look. "You two are honestly as thick as two bricks," he said to them. "Emmeline laid out the evidence before. Lily is obviously in –"
"The greenhouses?" enquired Sirius.
"No!" cried Emmeline, Remus, Dorcas and James.
"Well, where is she?" said Sirius.
"The Astronomy Tower!" James said to Sirius. He quickly turned back to Emmeline. "Right?"
Emmeline nodded.
"Well, why didn't you say so? Let's go!" cried Sirius, running off.
The others stood, still under the Invisibility Cloak, whilst Sirius, fully visible, ran up the corridor.
They let him run a far way down before James said, "Uh, Padfoot?"
Sirius stopped in his tracks, hearing James' voice far behind him. He turned around and then looked down at himself. "Oh, the Cloak. Right," he said, hurrying back towards them. When he had reached where he presumed they were, he stood and a puzzled expression came over his face. "Um, can one of you like stick your arm out or something?"
Dorcas grinned at the others, and she stuck her hand out and wiggled her fingers tantalizingly. She then swiftly pulled her hand back under the Cloak.
"No fair!" said Sirius. "You leave me no choice," he said. He reached his arms out and felt his way towards them.
"Hey!" shrieked Dorcas, putting her arms over her chest protectively.
"What the hell do you –" began Emmeline furiously.
"Alright, alright," said James. He lifted up a corner of the Cloak and motioned for Sirius to get under.
"Let's go fetch Lily from the Astronomy Tower!" cried Dorcas, punching the air with her fist.
By the time the five of them had reached the Astronomy Tower, it was nearing three o'clock in the afternoon.
"Let this be a lesson to us all," said James when they had reached the Tower. "Don't let Sirius lead us to a tower ever again."
"They're all the same tower!" said Sirius defensively.
James raised an eyebrow. He pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose and turned to the others. "Okay," he whispered conspiratorially, as they all stood invisibly next to the door at the base of the tower. "So we go in, rescue Lily, break out and we're hailed as worldwide heroes."
"Uh, we're rescuing Lily Evans here, not the President of the Universe," pointed out Remus.
"There's a President of the Universe?" asked Sirius, his eyes wide.
James let Dorcas do the honours of slapping Sirius across the back of the head.
"Right," said James. "Let's do this thing." He twisted the door knob. "Damn. It's locked."
"Dumbass," said Emmeline. "Alohomora!"
"Dumbasses," said Dorcas. She pulled a pin from her hair and bent down to look into the lock. With a couple of quick twists, the lock clicked and the door swung open.
Sirius stared at her in awe. "How did you –"
"Muggle magic," said Dorcas mysteriously, wiggling her fingers. "Now come on!"
The five of them headed up the stairs. They finally reached the top of the tower, Sirius complaining most of the journey about his knees weren't as good as they used to be.
Lily stood there, her red hair fluttering in the breeze. She stared out over the edge of the tower.
"Lily!" cried Dorcas and Emmeline in perfect unison. "You're okay!"
"Weird how their voices become conjoined when they're happy," remarked Sirius in a whisper to Remus. Remus rolled his eyes in response.
Lily turned around at the sound of their voices. "Guys?" she said nervously, looking to the left and right, trying to see them.
Dorcas lifted the Cloak and winked at her. "Hi there! We're here to –"
Lily shook her head hurriedly. "Oh no, no, no! You have to leave! Before it's –"
The Cloak was pulled off the five of them.
"– too late," finished Lily with a groan.
"Who the hell did that?" asked James furiously, spinning around to look for a culprit.
"Down here," squeaked a voice. The five of them cast their eyes downward.
"Aww…" cooed Dorcas. "Why, it's just a sweet little gerbil! Come here, little fella, here –"
The gerbil and the others behind him quickly pulled out thin, tiny sticks of wood, as some kind of defence.
"Stay back, human!" the one that looked to be the leader screeched. "We are armed!"
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances, as if to say 'This is really weird'.
"Whatcha gonna do; poke us?" mocked James.
"We're wizards too," said the gerbil army leader. "We've been taking your secrets and using them ourselves. We know all and see all."
"Oh – kay…" said James slowly, taking a step back. "We'll, um, just take Lily back and let you get on with that then." James reached out a hand behind him, and Lily took it; squeezing it to within an inch of its life.
"Oh no," said the gerbil army leader. "You know too much now. We'll have to take you with us, back to Gerbiltopia, for extensive testing."
"Hang on," said Sirius, starting to catch on. "So you're wizards too?"
"Yes."
"Well, how did Dumbledore know to close –"
"I am Dumbledore," said the gerbil. "We know how to make Polyjuice Potion."
"Aah," said Sirius. He thought for a moment. "Can I join you with this whole world domination thing you've got going?"
The gerbils turned away to discuss this.
The leader turned back to them and smiled. "Of course you may. Do you have anything to give us that will seal the deal?"
"Yeah, some more Polyjuice Potion," offered Sirius, pulling a vial of potion out of his pocket.
"Padfoot!" hissed James. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"
Sirius didn't answer. "It'll turn you into something so strong, you can crush anything. Including them," he added, jerking his head in the others' direction.
Lily squeezed tighter than ever and James felt a bone in his hand snap.
"You'll make a good addition to my army," said the gerbil army leader, "young …?"
"Black. It's Sirius Black."
"Sirius Lee Black," sniggered Dorcas, laughing at her own joke.
The others turned to stare.
Dorcas coughed awkwardly. "Sorry."
The gerbil army leader drank some of the potion and passed the vial around his army. They all took a sip and the last gerbil handed the vial back to Sirius, empty.
They stood as a group, looking menacingly at Lily, James, Dorcas, Emmeline, Remus and Sirius.
Then the leader began to quiver in an odd sort of way and the others did too, like some kind of chain reaction.
Sirius grinned proudly.
The gerbil army leader suddenly popped and turned into a cockroach. Like a Mexican Wave, the others popped and turned into cockroaches too.
Dorcas screamed and leapt onto the wall on the edge of the tower.
"Squash them!" yelled Sirius. He immediately leapt on two at once.
The others followed suit and made quick work of killing all the cockroaches.
The whole gerbil army lay squashed, their cockroach guts everywhere, all over the top of the tower.
"That's disgusting," said Dorcas, jumping down from the wall. Then her eyes glittered with prank-filled thoughts. "But how did you do it? I thought you couldn't use Polyjuice Potion to –"
"It wasn't Polyjuice Potion," said Sirius with a smirk.
James suddenly grinned with understanding. "Oh! Is that where your Love Potion went?"
Sirius grinned, wider than ever.
The girls looked slightly shocked.
James gave Sirius a high-five.
"Well, now that we've successfully saved the world from the evil domination of the gerbils –" said Remus.
"And saved Lily Evans," interjected James, grinning at her. Lily smiled back, shyly.
"– and saved Lily Evans," added Remus.
"I say we go to bed," said Dorcas with a wide yawn and a stretch.
The others agreed, and leaving the cockroaches everywhere, they headed down the stairs and walked towards Gryffindor Tower.
They were about to give the password to the Fat Lady when someone came up behind them.
"And where have the six of you been all day?" asked Professor McGonagall, her hands on her hips.
"We'll tell you the whole story, Minnie," said Sirius, smiling at her.
"Do you know what gerbils are?" asked Dorcas inquisitively.
Professor McGonagall looked slightly confused and her eyebrows shot up. "Gerbils?"
"You might want to sit down," said James, pushing Professor McGonagall in through to the common room. "This story may cause you to faint."
.x.x.x.
Did you like? Random, extremely. Funny…?
Review and let me know what you think!
With many thanks to Nessa and Emma for giving me a few ideas (basically, the whole last half of the story!). You guys are the best!