I got this idea while watching TV July 9th, 2008, from that Multigrain Cheerios commercial we in the "real world" see and (hopefully) laugh at. Meant to be short, but will probably be longer than I except, as most things do. Might not work so well for Bobby (poor man, always being manipulated), but I'll try to make it fit.
Set after Eames's surrogacy, but before she's lost all the "baby fat".
PG, Humor, don't own so don't sue, blahdeblahdeblah…
Lunchtime, Bobby predicted as he noticed his partner's hand moving from her desktop to one of the drawers, bringing back with it a carton of yogurt.
Yogurt? Since when does Eames only bring yogurt to work?
Well, Genius, the logical part of his brain explained, she did just have a baby a few months ago…
Well, yeah, but she's brought more than just a thing of yogurt for lunch before now…
Noting the label, Bobby was even more confused.
Deciding he really needed to know, he asked, "Hey, Eames? Are you trying to lose weight?"
Eames looked at him, spoon almost in her mouth, and asked, "Do I look like I need to lose weight?"
"Well, no, I just… you're eating yogurt," he explained lamely, adding quickly, "and the carton says 'Sweetened with Splenda'. That's…good, right? I mean, it's supposed to be better for you than actual sugar... Although, it's a chemical substance, so it does have side effects..."
He rattled off a few, "Weight gain, disruption of sleep patterns, sexual dysfunction, increases in cancer, MS, Lupus, diabetes..and there's chlorine in it. Some of the chlorine stays in the body, and some gets flushed out. But scientists don't know how for sure how much get flushed out."
Eames just stared at him, and he continued, "And the carton says there're only 80 calories…"
Eames kept staring and asked, "What else does the carton say?"
He knew that tone, so he finished, "The carton says 'Shut up, Bobby.'..."
"Uh huh," Eames smiled.
Silently, Bobby grabbed his own lunch and started eating.
Pffft, that's a dumb ending. But I felt like ending it. My creativity was apparently shot by the stupid weather we had on a church camping trip last night. Luckily, a friend who was on the trip lives right near where we were camped, so we all slept in her basement for the night…but I guess it stole my creativity. o.O
EDIT 7-12-08: Hey, cool. RoadrunnerGERgave me a better idea. Thanks a lot! )
The info in Bobby's speech came from http : / / www . splendaexposed . com / and http : / / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / Sucralose (without spaces, of course).
It ended up around 230 words. About half the length of Sherlock. But oh well. Maybe I'll change it if somebody gives me an idea that returns my creativity…
Oh, and the yogurt I was referring to was Kemp Light 80 calorie stuff my family eats… And you can find the Cheerio commercial here: http : / / youtube . com / watch ? v - IZ9CL4phPk (without spaces). If you want.