I gaze into those unfathomable brown eyes. There is a truth in them that I wish to discern, but I cannot.

He runs his fingers through my hair, smiles. His smile is somewhat…nostalgic. Sad, even…

I miss you, I say, my voice quivering. I am surprised by the tears that are running down my face. Why am I crying? He is right here!

But my mouth is separate, detached… and then it comes to me- this is a vision.

I'm right here, he laughs at my absurd words.

Of course he is there, Gemma! Get a hold of yourself, you silly girl!

I almost laugh at me having to chastise myself.

But…I find myself saying in the vision. You and I both know that you are not… you…you are…

His smile is wiped clean off his visage and his countenance darkens. But I am here with you now, Gemma, is that not enough?

I feel myself shake my head. Side, to side… side…to side…

I miss you… I miss you being here during the day. I miss kissing you, and not this mirage of you. My hands fly in the air as if he shall disappear. This- us- it is ephemeral. This is a dream, Kartik! You are not alive! You are a figment of my mere imagination!

He looks hurt, and draws back a step. Guilt floods me instantly.

I'm…I'm sorry, I whisper, taking a step closer to him. Please…come back.

His eyes soften and he embraces me. I sink into his arms, feeling safe… although safety is an illusion, too.

I'll always come back, he promises. I cannot keep away. Every time you leave and continue living your life, I am happy. Happy that you are alive, that you can experience… He buries his nose deeper into my hair. But then… I think of how I wish…how I wish to be part of your life, part of your happiness.

I find myself crying once more. Then why did you do it? Why didn't you let me die? You could've lived your life!

I feel him shake his head. Where would I have gone, Gemma? I did not have anyone but you… it is better like this…

Giving up, I cry into his shoulder… he still smells of nutmeg and earth. But it is a smell of the past.

It seems like forever- or, rather, I wish it could be forever- that he holds me and I sob silent tears. And then he releases me and steps back, his voices dissolves into the commodious nothingness that surrounds me.

I am keeping you, Gemma… You must go.

No! I scream into the darkness. I don't wish to!

You have to. Know that I always love you… There is a breeze that kisses my lips for a moment, and I close my eyes, savoring it.

Goodbye, I whisper into the air, and the wind takes my words with it.

"Gemma!"

I startle, opening my eyes… had they been closed all this time?

I see that I am in my room once more- the gossamer canopy is overhead and I am lying upon my bed. Kartik sits beside me, bending over me. His brown eyes are full of concern.

"What happened?" I say, still dazed from my vision.

"Are you alright?" He asks. "You passed out… what did you see?"

He pulls me up and I embrace him. He stiffens, surprised, but embraces me back, just as willingly.

The scent of nutmeg that enters my nose reminds me of my vision.

I couldn't make sense of all of it, but something had happened to him in the vision.

I touch his face, make sure it is real. "Are you alright?"

He looks alarmed. "Y-yes, why wouldn't I be?"

I sigh, partially relieved, but partially further worried. "It's nothing," I lie.

Because, in the dream, he was dead.

I shiver and sink back into his arms.