Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
25 ways to torture Hoshigaki Kisame
1. Whenever he walks by shout, "Fish are friends not food!" as loud as you can at him.
2. Play the jaws theme song.
3. All the time.
4. During important missions.
5. Sing him the "Song That Never Ends".
6. Narrate everything he does. (Like when he's reading the news or picking up a spoon)
7. Tell him that you've never noticed that he's blue.
8. Sell him to PETLAND.
9. Or even better- sell him on eBay! (Everyone loves a talking shark)
10. Where a T-shirt that says "Save the whales".
11. Play the exorcist theme song over and over again until he freaks out.
12. Ask him if he's a virgin.
13. Then ask him why.
14. On his b-day make him shark-fin soup.
15. Call him a cannibal for eating his own species.
15. Then tell him that he should hang out with Zetsu more often.
16. Tell him that Itachi has never loved him.
17. Tell that weasels and sharks don't really go together.
18. Teach him how to make sushi.
19. The RIGHT way.
20. Call Itachi a midget.
21. Blame it on Kisame.
22. Then watch Itachi "mind rape" him for 72 hours.
23. Read him a yaoi fanfic.
24. Buy him a goldfish and name it Dori.
25. Sign him up as the newest member of the Blue Men group.
(A/N: Just watch me get killed by posting this….)