A body was leaning down over me when I opened my eyes, yet it was impossible for me to see who this body belonged to. My head was fuzzy, my mind hazy.
Who was I? Where was I? Who was this person? I did not know at the present moment in time, and the more I thought about it, the more my head started to hurt.
"Who are you?" I asked in a hoarse voice and tried to lift my arm to grab whoever it was, only to feel an intense pain soaring through my entire body. I could not lift my arm, and it seemed that trying to do so would reward me with intense pain.
Since I could not move, I decided to try and see if it was possible for me to remember, but no matter how much I tried to remember it was impossible.
Everything was hazy; it was as if my memories were blanketed behind a curtain I could not break through. The more I attempted, the dizzier I became and the more nauseous I felt.
"Are you awake?" A gentle voice asked next to me, and my eyes did their best to focus on whomever it was, however, it was impossible. I could not see who it was.
"Who are you?" I repeated myself, but I got no answer, and instead I felt a warm hand place itself on my forehead as to measure my temperature.
"Do you feel okay?" the voice asked and I could sense some concern in the voice, so I tried to nod my head, only to find that the simple gesture made my body ache like before.
"I am... okay, I think," I said meekly. Although I could feel some pain all over my body, my head was fairly clear, apart from my missing memories.
"Who are you?" I requested again, and after a bit of consideration, I asked with a weak voice, "and who am I?"
The figure that had been moving around the room came to a standstill in the middle of his movements. I could still not focus on anything; it was as if my eyes were trying to adjust, but it was taking time.
The figure moved towards me, leaned down and touched my forehead again, followed by my cheek and neck. A shudder ran through my body when I felt his cool hand against my skin; it was a pleasant feeling.
"You are Ciel Phantomhive," the voice said, "and I am your butler, Sebastian Michaelis."
"Sebastian... Michaelis..." the name escaped my lips unbidden, and I suddenly felt embarrassed for calling it out.
"Well, that is a name given to me by you," the voice continued, "I am of the impression that I am named after your late dog."
Hearing this I could not help but giggle, but the giggling made me wince in pain.
"You said you are my butler?" I asked a bit hesitatingly, and the figure answered, "Yes."
"What happened to me?" I could not help but ask. "I have no recollection of who I am, where I am and anything else. The only thing I do know is that my body is hurting, my head is aching. I cannot even focus on anything so that I can see clearly."
"You cannot see?" Sebastian's voice sounded surprised, and I smiled wryly, "I cannot,"I confirmed.
"Do not worry," Sebastian's voice was suddenly close by my side, and I startled. "I will be your eyes and ears, I will protect you this time, although I failed before," he promised, and I could feel a strong conviction in this voice that made me feel incredibly secure.
"But what happened?" I asked again, and as I did, I heard Sebastian sigh. "Do not worry about it for now," he said, his voice slightly forceful.
"For now we need to ensure that your body heals and that you will be able to see again. I fear that you are more seriously injured than what I had expected," Sebastian sounded troubled and also guilty, and for some reason this voice made my heart ache slightly. To have a butler that cared so deeply about me was quite touching, but at the same time, it also sounded as if he blamed himself. Did he perhaps have something to do with it?
I suddenly had an impression that no, this man, this butler, was completely loyal to me. He would not betray me, or rather, I had an indescribable feeling telling me that it was simply impossible for him to betray me, and it made me feel better.
"Can you sit up?" the worried voice of Sebastian sounded again, and I could smell the scent of something delicious.
"I brought you some soup, and together with the soup I also got you some medication to take the pain, and hopefully make you feel better soon," he continued to introduce what he had brought with him, and I had to admit that the sound of painkillers was rather tempting.
I tried to raise my upper body, but the pain was simply too severe, and my arms were too weak to be able to accomplish the task.
Unfortunately, I had lifted my body a slight bit and was about to fall, bracing myself for the uncomfortable bump that would go through my entire body when I landed on the bed again, but it never happened. Instead, I felt a strong arm wrap itself protectively around my body and hold me up. .
"Be careful," a deep voice said just next to my ear, and I could not help but feel a shiver run down my spine as I could feel the breathing of Sebastian touch my neck.
"Let me help you," he said, and then his two strong arms wrapped around my weakened body and lifted me into a seated position. I was leaned against the bedframe, but the position was rather uncomfortable.
"Open your mouth," Sebastian said, calling me from my thoughts about pain and returned to the reality.
A warm arm descended behind my back and supported my weight, constantly stroking me, leaving me feeling comfortable again.
At the same time, the other hand was raising a spoonful of soup and placing it on my lips.
"Careful, it's hot," the soothing voice of Sebastian made me feel as if I had returned to the embrace of childhood. It was so comfortable to be stroked on my back and have someone feeding me soup that I almost forgot about the pain and the fact that my eyes could not focus on anything.
I ate the whole bowl of soup with the help of Sebastian, and when I finished he gently laid me down on the bed again, and although my entire body was aching, I could not help but feel the tenderness with which Sebastian was moving me. It was as if he was afraid of losing me.
"Sebastian..." his name escaped my lips unbidden when I saw his figure leaving my side, and I elt an indescribable feeling of loneliness erupted within my heart.
"I'll stay here," the gentle voice said as I felt his hands gently close my eyes for me, "keep your eyes closed, and you will fall asleep soon," he promised and rightfully so, moments after I drifted off into deep sleep.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I looked at my master, and my heart was painfully throbbing. I never thought that I would have been capable of feeling such emotions, yet the day before when I had almost lost my master, I was sure that my heart would stop, and I would drop dead.
"At least the sleeping medicine worked," I sighed as I saw how my master was sound asleep. His steady breathing was making me feel better, but whenever I looked at the many bandages around his body, I could not help but feel uncomfortable.
It was my fault. I had failed, I had not been able to protect him, and now he was seriously injured. He had lost his memory, he had lost his ability to focus on things, almost losing his sight, and still, a smile slowly rose on my lips as I kneeled down next to the bed.
"My dear master," I chuckled, "Now you are unable to live without me. You are like a small Alice, forever trapped in my rabbit hole."
My cool hand brushed past the closed right eye of Ciel, and I could not help but feel slightly excited. He had been looking at me with earnest eyes I had never seen before, he was so vulnerable and petite. I could destroy him with a single thought, but seeing him depend on me to such an extent was much more enjoyable.
He truly had no idea of what I was or who I was. Still, the smile quickly vanished and was replaced by a serious expression. I lightly ghosted my finger past Ciel's cheek and saw a small bruise that had appeared on his cheekbone.
"Although this was beneficial for me, my dear master was still injured." I sighed out loud, and slow burning anger started rising in my chest. "My master's pretty face is scarred. Although it has its charm, I cannot accept for others to lay their hands on my master's body. Only I can touch him."
Having said that, I removed the gloves from my hands and looked at the seal that was evident on top of it. Although it required energy, I sat up a formation to protect my master for any invaders that might appear in the phantomhive mansion, and with a final glance at Ciel, I turned to leave through the window.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I woke up and felt that everything was hazy. My memories were still not returning to me, and I suddenly felt scared. Everything was dark, but I did not know if it was dark because of it being the middle of the night, or because my sight had vanished entirely.
I started trembling, and the trembling made my body ache, but I was scared. I felt all alone in the whole world, and I tried to get up from the bed. The pain made me grit my teeth, but I persevered as I got up.
Everything was black around me as I stumbled around in the bed, only to fall out of it. My battered body hit the hard floor with a thumb, and it was so painful that I could not help but cry out in alarm.
Suddenly I felt a breeze and a voice that sounded familiar, and filled with surprise, "Master!" he called out and moments after I felt a warm embrace enclose around me, lifting me up gently and placing me on the bed once more.
"What were you doing awake in the dark of night?" he asked, and he sounded genuinely surprised. I was surprised too. "My head hurts,"I mumbled as I could not help but feel guilty for waking him up too, but that was when my eyebrows furrowed, and my nose sniffed the air.
"Why does it smells so much of blood in here?" I asked, starting to panic slightly. Had I done something to open serious wounds, or had Sebastian injured himself while rushing to assist me?
I heard Sebastian sigh again, "Sorry, I forgot," he said with a bit of hesitation in his voice. "Those who caused this will never again prove to be problematic for you, but I forgot to change my clothes afterward, I rushed back when I heard that you awoke."
"I fear that I might have gotten blood smeared all over you," he sighed again, "I am afraid that we will have to give you a bathe now so we can get the blood of your body."
Hearing this I shuddered and my cheeks flushed red. "Take... Take a bath?" I asked a little stunned.
I was incapable of seeing Sebastian's face, but if I had been able to, I would have seen a face filled with a calculating smile and some burning red eyes that were glued to my figure.
"Yes," Sebastian's voice was stern, "We cannot have you running around with dried blood all over you."