im probably goanna stop doing intros to anymore stories cause ya know who wants to listen or read my crap all day, so if anyone even cared to read them...sorry I guess...I don't have a lot of energy to do things. it is becoming hard to even write stories anymore, I used to love doing this too is what makes me want to cry.
So this is the last intro or ending ill be writing, if you have questions on the stories I write you can just drop them in review or DM.
~Devil~
...
Things are never ending, a never ending cycle of pain, of torture, of hatred. And just when you think you've gotten away, it will come back for you, there's only one option really, and that's to make yourself disappear before it can get you again.
I guess you could say Soul has come to learn this by now, its only taken what, sixteen years for him to figure it out? But has these past sixteen years been fucking hell to him, and he's at that point where, it may be time to say.
enough is enough.
...Soul P.O.V...
My alarm clock blared annoyingly, yelling at me to wake up, not like I even slept last night though so I don't know why I set the stupid thing. I slammed a fist down on the little demon, silencing its berating sound for the day, another day I just wanted to stay in bed.
However you see im forced into this endless routine Monday through Friday and sometimes even into the weekends, its the same thing every week. I sometimes find myself hating the existence of time you know, its just this endearing thing that haunts us every waking hour,every aching minute, and every killing second. Its just a cruel reminder of how much of your life you've wasted and how much more you get to go fuck around and waste away until you die.
But that's just what time is all about, measurements, accuracy, its rules this damn world with an iron fist and sometimes I just want to be like Alice. Escape to a meaningless world were there's no such thing as time, there's nothing to worry about and nothing to be late nor early for. What ruler is there to say what day if the week or month of the year it is?
Its just a simple equation, of day, and night, that's it, is that too much to ask for? Apparently so, or else I haven't found the magic pill to down with a bottle of wine and get the hell out of this world. "One day Soul, one day".
I pulled myself out of bed, feeling a few joints pop making me cringe and feel much older than I actually am. I caught my reflection on my dresser mirror, god did I really look like shit, I was half way across the room and I could see the bags under my eyes and how sunken in my face was, well that may be because I haven't eaten. Wait, when was the last time I even ate anything?
I don't know, and honestly I don't really care either.
I don't really remember walking out of my room nor gong to the shower, but when I was looking again into the steamed mirrors reflection at my dripping hair, I noticed how sickly id been coming to look, and another thing. I found out pretty quick my meister wasn't in a good mood, when the fuck is she though? "Soul hurry up I need to get in there and you just conveniently forgot today was your day to cook breakfast huh, and you forgot your damn laundry out here you dumbass". I rolled my eyes, already feeling a headache coming on.
Pulling my boxers on and a black long sleeve shirt, I swung the door open with a deep scowl already on my face. "Instead of bitching me out then why don't you just get up before me and take a god damn shower then" I growled. I stomped past her and into my room, since I forgot to do laundry last night that means both of my usual outfits were dirty, great.
Digging into my closet I found a tight white pullover with a black and red skull emblem on it and some ripped up black jeans. Sliding on my leather jacket I shoved my wallet, and other shit in my bag and my phone in the top, putting an ear bud blasting some band into my ear and pushed my iPod into my pocket, walking to the front door. Pulling on some easy converse cause I didn't even know were the hell I threw my yellow shoes yesterday.
Maka came bustling out as I watched leaning, my hair dripped some water but it was still drying, so I couldn't even put on my band cause it'd get soaked. Great start to my day. "Soul thanks to you I nearly fell in the bathroom cause you freaking got water every" and there she goes again. I had just come to terms of not arguing anymore, I barely have energy to get through the day without arguing with her, I just say it all in my head.
She glared at me and we both left getting on the motorcycle, as she barely grabbed the back of my jacket, whatever. The wind from the ride pretty much dried my hair so I set my band in once I parked, and both of us got off not saying a word to each other. Not that'd I would hear her anyways I've got both ear buds in, what can I say I think ahead, don't have to listen to her or half the morons in this school.
The rest of the morning was pretty much just a blur, but I just, zone out for different durations of time sometimes. It can be for five minutes or hours at a time ,it just happens and sometimes it bothers me but I just go with it, like everything else I guess.
While our little group was gathered by the lockers I kept noticing Maka giving me these bored like glances, but I ignored it and just scrolled through my playlist organizing songs into playlists. "Well well for someone being such a dick dismorning you sure are quiet" she groaned.
My eyes whipped up to glared at her, "that's awful funny your calling the one who didn't say two words earlier a dick considering you were doing plenty of bitching at me for the both of us" I growled. She went to turn towards me and say something but I quickly moved at her baring my teeth I think. "Back the fuck off right now Maka, don't fuck with me this early in the god damn morning". Her eyes widened and a small part inside of me cracked at her expression, I hadn't meant for it to come out so, so, threatening but.
I did the only thing I could think of and walked away, away from my stupid mistake and away from the eyes of my friends judging me.
I didn't really look at Maka when she sat down next to me, I didn't really look at anyone for that matter, I just kept my head down at my iPod so I didn't look weird doing nothing. I guess Stein came rolling in sometime later because the next thing I knew was my name being called. "Soul Maka, Tsubaki and BlackStar can you please step down here for a demonstration" and BlackStars face looking at me. "Cmon dude, what are you waiting for" he smiled at me before grabbing my arm, making me hiss from the pain.
We were instructed to show what the connecting of a groups wavelength was to the class, great cause me and the dragon are really goanna be able to synchronize. Me and Tsubaki changed and I could already feel Maka struggling to hold me, oh great...
However this time was a lot different from when we couldn't synchronize, because when we tried, we both screamed out. Her gloves were burnt a little but her hands were just a little reddened, when she dropped me I could still feel this excruciating pain in my side were shed been holding me. BlackStar ran over to me by then, "hey dude, are you okay, can you change back at all".
I immediately did and I fell, sweat dripped from my face as my heavy heaving breath interrupted by violent coughs bringing up a good amount of blood in front of me. I heard I think Tsubaki gasp as Stein crouched down next to me, "that's strange, your the one who got hurt from a disengaged synchronizing". Maka growled a little, embarrassed probably from that, as she stood next to Tsubaki who looked at her hands, "Soul you need to get it together".
I growled lowly at this, done with her shit for one day, I picked up my bag, threw it over my shoulder and stood up with difficulty. "I need to get my shit together look who's talking, I bend over backwards and im just nothing but the dirt beneath your shoe in your eyes.". She looked at me before crossing her arms, "bend over backwards my ass, what do you do, wash the damn dishes after ive asked three hundred times, any other weapon wouldn't have this many problems with a meister".
I felt myself hit rock bottom, any other weapon huh...
"Well maybe I shouldn't have held on when chrona nearly killed me, then you could have gotten a much better weapon, but hell, you still can". I turned and ran out the door, down the hall and out to my motorcycle, the wind in my eyes not helping the tears that threatened to fall.
By the time I got to the apartment I was pretty much crying already, locking the door I slammed my bedroom door shut that nobody was even home to hear. "Any other weapon wouldn't have this many problems with a meister" kept repeating in my head, as I kept hearing that little demon laughing at me. I dropped my bag and fell to my bed, letting out a pathetic whimper.
Tears seeped into my pillow as I stared at my door, curling into myself, my eyes looked up to the clock, reading '12:45'.
"Wow, not even halfway through the day and I've massively fucked up, good going you idiot" I mumbled, though my eyes trailed just a few inches to the left, seeing the orange pill bottles sitting there. My hand went up, cupping around its smooth surface before I sat up, my eyes rereading the information id come to memorize.
'lithium 300mg/ 5 mL, once daily with food'
'prozac, 40 MG CAPSULE, take 1 capsule by mouth daily'
'Prozac, 20 MG TABLET, take 1 tablet by mouth daily'
'Trazadone, 50 MG TABLET, take one by mouth at bedtime'
The half empty pill bottles for my, problems, were emptied out onto my bed, the pills all ,looked so pretty on my bed, some were smooth and big like candy. My hands ran around them a little before picking up a handful and studied the oranges, blue, green and white colored pills. "If one of you makes it okay for one day, than what if I took, two, or three, or maybe, the whole bottle" I whispered dropping them into the pile. As I resorted and set them back in their bottles I took out each pill I needed for the day, one lithium, one forty Prozac one twenty Prozac, one trazadone, and a pill that would just settle my damn stomach from these shredders.
Five pills danced in my hands and I swallowed each, but when I got to the Prozac, I hesitated, looking a the still open pill bottle. setting the still two pills down I popped another twenty white and green pill out, "would another twenty really hurt me".
Picking up three pills I downed them, feeling that extra twenty slide down like a knife, as if it was reminding me I shouldn't have taken it, oh well...who'd care anyways.
I walked to my closet after collecting the five pill bottles and put them in their box, setting them in my closet were Maka wouldn't find them EVER, god I know id never hear the end of it. I ventured over to the bathroom, and pulled my shirt up to see a huge burn mark on my side making me cringe at its discoloration. And deciding against an infection, I patched it up.
When I exited the bathroom from the tedious problems, I heard the loud crash of thunder, pulling my phon from my pocket the screen read '2:24 p.m'. "Its already that late", I looked out to the cold looking livingroom before forgetting the grumbling in my stomach, as I walked to my bedroom.
I just kicked off my shoes and threw my jacket somewhere with my band as I yanked the covers off, feeling really tired, I fell asleep, knowing another nightmare with that annoying little red twat was awaiting me.
