Title: How We Work

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: Somewhere I don't care which season, but it's a first time story.

The scraping of stone against metal is all I can seem to hear. She's doing her nightly routine, but for some reason it's getting on my nerves tonight. I tried to write, but the words that came out were ones that I could never say. I should write the truth, not fiction. So now I focus on the flames; the way they dance as if moving to music. But still, that sound of her sharpening her sword is grating on my ears.

Pushing myself up from the ground, I walk off into the trees. In very few steps I reach the clearing that juts out into the darkness. It's a small bluff overlooking the ocean; I can hear the water crash on the shore below me. The breeze is cold causing me to shiver, but I don't mind; it creates a small distraction for my thoughts. My legs hang over the edge of the cliff, swinging back and forth in the wind.

Sometimes I wonder how two people who are so different are able to function. We are polar opposites, but that seems to draw us closer. We each have something the other doesn't, balance. If Xena hadn't come along, would I still have left my little village? Probably, eventually. But would I have learned as much, or be as happy as I am now? That I can't really say, but after knowing Xena I find it hard to imagine life without her. It's crazy; she's the cause of most of the turmoil that I'm always fighting inside.

It wasn't till the Amazons taught me their culture and laws that I began to question things. I've always felt love for Xena, but I was never aware that one woman can love another in the way that she might a man. Only then did I start to realize that I loved her more than just a friend. She sits next to me and still my thoughts can be completely consumed by her. It's like one day I woke up to a whole new world; it was intoxicating and suffocating at the same time.

She has become my best and only true friend. I trust her with my life and there is no one else I can say that about. But to try and deal with these overwhelming feelings and know that it's something that can never be; it is at times heart wrenching. I take what I can get, and I cherish every single moment.

Being a bard has its drawbacks. I think and imagine everything; my brain is in a constant state of overdrive. So to stop my more than friendly thoughts of the woman I travel with, it's like asking me to stop breathing.

I get up and walk back towards camp. Don't want Xena to worry about what I might be doing out there in the dark. If only she knew, those times are when I feel I can freely think about her. When I get back, she isn't there. Probably off burying the scraps somewhere away from camp. It's not fun to wake up to animals looking at you like food.

She comes back and I give my best smile, just to stop any questions that are ricocheting in her head. I pull a fur over my head as she strips down to her leathers and lays next to me. I don't exactly when we started sleeping with our bedrolls together. I just realized one day as I lay on my back looking at the stars that we somehow had migrated closer. It was probably just a need to share body heat on a cold night, but it's as if we've always done it this way.

I'm trying to will myself to sleep, but I can feel her staring at the back of my head. I can feel the question coming, it radiates off her like a toxic fume and it is making me sick. My stomach begins to turn as I try and think of noncommittal answers to keep me safe in my hiding place.

'Gabrielle.' I swallow hard. 'I know you're awake.'

'Yeah.' I relent but I will not turn to face her.

'What's wrong?'

'I'm just tired.' There is a sigh of frustration, she doesn't buy it.

'Gabrielle.' I love it when she says my name. 'Talk to me.' Her voice becomes softer, I can hear the concern she expresses. I contemplate what to say.

'It's better if you don't know.' It is. I feel her sit up, her body leans into mine. I refuse to turn.

'If you've done something, whatever it is, I don't care. Just tell me or I can't help you.' Always the savior.

'No it's nothing like that.'

'Then what is it?' She's both confused and dumbfounded as to what it is I wont speak of.

'Xena, are you my friend?'

'My best friend, you know that.' There was no hesitation in her response.

'I think we should keep it that way then.' I pull the fur tighter around me hoping she'll leave it. She sigh's again and sits there for awhile. Relief floods through me when she finally lays back down. I know she's going to think about this all night, but at least I get a small reprieve. My eyes close and I pray for sleep. I can feel her thinking next to me though.

'No!' She shouts sitting up and grabbing me. Xena pulls me up into a sitting position, forcing me to look at her. To say I'm surprised is an understatement. 'Look I don't know what it is, but you better tell me.' I feel like her eyes are boring into me. I can't look at her, I'm afraid I might cry. 'Gabrielle?' Her voice has calmed, her hand slides through my hair.

'I've learned things about myself that I never dreamed of.' I can barely get these words out, my voice is nothing but a whisper.

'Whatever it is….'

'What would you say if I told you I was in love with a woman?' I can feel she's a little taken aback.

'I don't care as long as your happy. Unless it's Najara. It's not Najara is it?' She lifts my chin to meet her eyes. I can't help but laugh a little.

'No it's not Najara.' Her body visibly relaxes, but she's still confused.

'Why would you think I'd care?' Why isn't this enough of a confession? I don't want to say any more.

'Can't we just leave it at that?'

'No, because there's something more.' How come she can see straight into me sometimes, while other times it's like I'm not even here?

'Xena, please..' I just want to lay back down but she wont let me.

'You can tell me anything.' Her head dips as she tries to look in my eyes, but I refuse to comply.

'Xena…..' The ramifications are too much to think about.

'What?' Her hand cups my cheek. I'm finding it to be too much; I can't hold back the tears anymore.

'I love you.' The words sound so foreign in my ears.

'I love you too.' She doesn't get it.

'No, I love you.' Finally I manage to look her in the eyes. The confusion slowly disappears as she finally begins to realize what I'm trying to say.

'When?' Her face is unreadable now. I shrug.

'Always I guess, I just…'

'Go ahead.' She urges me, and I'm surprised to find only kindness in her voice.

'I didn't know it was something that could happen.' She gives me this smile as if I'm the most naïve person alive.

'What? Women being together like a husband and wife?' I nod mutely, shifting my eyes away. She begins to laugh. Her head drops down to my shoulder, seemingly unable to control the reaction she is having.

'I'm not sure what's so funny…'

'No, I'm sorry.' She looks up at me. 'I was just thinking of all these things. I'm relieved.' I can't help but feel slightly miffed.

'Xena I just told you I love you.' She runs her hand through her hair.

'I was thinking maybe you killed someone, and then I thought it was Najara, the scenarios kept getting worse.' She sighs in relief, but I'm far from it. 'Don't scare me like that.' Her laughter fades and she begins to look more serious, though the grin never leaves. While before I was afraid of how serious she would take this, now I feel she is taking it too lightly.

'Goodnight Xena.' I growl at her, pulling the blanket over me as I lay down.

'Hey, what?' I'm just going to ignore her now.

Cont?