Noun

"Love" - (lev) - an intense feeling of deep affection

Synonyms: deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy

The list went on. It had been months since one of their rooftop talks had resulted in Andrew telling Neil he was now neutral on the existence of a "this" and blew smoke in his face. Neil had never had a better night since their championship.

There was never a person Neil had associated with the word love, things sure, Exy, sleep, locked doors, but no people from his past had made the cut. He once thought he loved his mother, but after learning how his teammates relationships with the people they cared about were, he was pretty sure you weren't supposed to be afraid of them.

He thought back to how Andrew had compared Cass to Renee's adoptive mother Stephanie Walker. Love to him was someone safe, someone he was devoted to and would protect no matter the cost. Love was saving someone who would save him.

Neil shut down his browser on Dan's computer making sure to delete his last search. He grabbed his keys, his home, and left the dorm. He had a CD to buy.

Andrew was out of cigarettes which made life dangerous for everyone. It was a Wednesday night without a cloud in the sky and Kevin had just ordered them off his court. Andrew was sprawled out on the couch staring at the ceiling waiting for Neil to finish changing. When he came out of the locker room Andrew got up and wordlessly lead the way out.

Kevin was already out by the car trying to avoid the nicotine lacking attitude Andrew had developed throughout the evening Neil decided when Andrew went straight to the passenger side and slammed the door. The ride back was quiet, Kevin still mad about how practice had gone, Neil not wanting to talk to Kevin like this, and Andrew being Andrew. When they got back to the dorm only Kevin got out and went inside; Andrew just shook his empty pack of cigarettes at Neil as if it were his fault he'd smoked half the pack that afternoon ignoring Kevin's rants about the new teammates and Nicky's weak defense of how the new backliner was still hot.

Neil shrugged and turned the car back on, but before backing out reached into his bag and opened the new CD case. He popped it in and tossed the case over the seat while he pulled out of the parking lot. They headed to the convenience store they knew would be open this late because of Nicky's unscheduled ice cream cravings.

When Andrew got back into the car with a couple of fresh packs Neil had had a chance to go through the CD to find the song he was looking for and set it up so it would play on their drive back. He was prepared for whatever probable violent or non-existing reaction he would receive and kept his face blank.

Andrew hadn't commented on the music thus far but the second the song Neil had sought out played into the recognizable old song it was he froze. The only movement visible in Neil's peripheral was Andrews jaw muscle clenching. Neil had definitely caught him off guard. Andrew flicked the ash off his cigarette and asked in a voice that could freeze Hell, "what do you think you're doing?"

Neil glanced at him, luckily he was still staring out the windshield in a direction Neil couldn't see his face, it was clear his eyes were blazing however. He kept his hands on the wheel and replied, "don't ask questions you already know the answer to."

Andrew made a noise he interpreted as some sort of strangled disbelief and anger. He waited while Andrew tossed his cigarette butt out the window, lighting another one, and only speaking after the song had played through and so had the one after.

"I hate you," he spoke as quiet as the night was. Neil grinned, his stomach hotter than when he took shots with the team.

"I know."

That night Andrew crawled into his bed, Neil started to say something, but Andrew just covered his mouth with his hand. Neil was happy with what it meant, closed his eyes and didn't dream.