"Will you be alright?"
Emily wasn't sure how to even answer that question anymore, despite it probably being the most frequent question she had faced in the last year, it never became easier to find a response to it. She found herself nodding gently, her eyes fixated out the car window & down the small stoned path. A path she should have been familiar with by now but wasn't. Infact it had been five months since she was last here, the red head couldn't forget because for every day in those last five months, she
thought about this place at least twice. It's the first place she'd think of when she woke up, no matter where she woke up, Bristol, London, New York & it was always undoubtably the same when she attempted to sleep at night. She knew this was how it would be from now on, these thoughts, these feelings but just because she knew, it didn't make it any easier to accept. She sometimes wondered if she ever would ever be able to accept it.
"Thanks for bringing me." Emily's voice was barely audible, she blinked hard & faced her Sister who sat at the wheel. Katie forced a smile, acknowleding her twin's gratitude. She didn't have to thank her but Emily insisted, not really sure where she would be at this moment in time if it wasn't for her. She wouldn't like to always admit it but Katie had been her rock. After a few more moments of silence passed, Emily agreed with herself that it was time. She was ready or as ready she she was ever likely to be. Unclipping her seat-belt, she reached round to the back seat to lift a small bag. "I won't be long."
"Take as long as you need, Ems." Katie replied, affectionately rubbing her Sister's arm for support. "I'll wait right here."
Emily stepped out of the car & soon found herself travelling down the stoned path. Clutching at her bag, she mentally noted that it seemed to have got longer since the last time she was here. It wasn't possible but it certainly seemed like it had. It was a few minutes before she reached her destination, the very sight of the place she had visited five months ago, made her feel exactly as it did back then. Distraught, heartbroken, nervous almost, sick most definitely. She could feel her legs shaking beneath her & clenched her eyes shut & puffed out her cheeks, telling herself to pull things together. She did, she always did. Putting one foot in front of the other, Emily stepped onto the grass, dropped her bag & stepped closer.
"Hey stranger." Emily's voice croaked out. She reached out, touching the cold stone with her fingers & slowly traced the letters of the name staring back at her. She would never get used to it being there. In this place. Naomi Campbell-Fitch. She didn't have time to get used to that either. The name her girlfriend so proudly took when they got married & she became more than just a girlfriend. She was her Wife. She is her Wife.
"You took my breath away today." Emily grinned, pulling her Wife closer. Her Wife. The very thought only made the smile on her face grow. Resting her hands on Naomi's waist, the redhead closed the little distance they had left between them & captured her lips with her own. She had been dying to do that all afternoon but patiently waited until now, until they were on their own, back in their home, their bedroom. "You're so beautiful."
"You're so biased." Naomi chuckled, resting her forehead Emily's. Gently taking the red head's left hand in hers, she ran her thumb over the new gold band which now took pride of place on Emily's finger. She was almost amazed by it, like she couldn't quite believe it was there. "We did it, Ems."
"Yeah, we did." Emily smiled proudly, gently lifting Naomi's gaze from her wedding ring to her face. For a moment, she got completely lost in the eyes now staring back at her. "Thank you."
"For what?" Naomi questioned.
"Everything... Today... Making me happier than i've ever fucking been in my whole life..." Emily replied between several kisses, that she just couldn't resist helping herself to. "... I love you, Mrs Naomi Campbell- Fitch. I love you, so much."
"Shit." Naomi said seriously, chewing her lip to hold in laughter. "About that, i'm already having second thoughts about being a Fitch."
"Fuck off." Emily scoffed, throwing her arms around Naomi's neck. "We're actually really fucking awesome."
"Guess i'll just have to believe you." She teased, lightly kissing Emily's cheek, enjoying having her newly Wife's arms over her shoulders. "Seriously Em, this day, it's been the happiest day of my life. I'll never forget it."
"Me neither." The red head confirmed. "Never."
She hadn't. She couldn't. She stood for a moment, gently twisting the ring around her finger.
"I'm sorry it's been so long..." Emily found herself apologising, hating the fact it had been so long since her last visit. As she sat herself down & crossed her legs over, she noticed the beautiful flowers that lay only inches from her. Three bouquets. Three cards attatched. Gina, Dominic & the third from Katie. 'Happy birthday. Things just aren't the same without you. Miss our banter, bitch. Love, Katie xx' Emily found herself smiling sadly, almost choking on her tears. Katie failed to mention that she had already been here. It was a comfort to her that she had been. No one had forgot but then that was always unlikely. Naomi wasn't the type of person that could be easily forgotten. "... Happy birthday, Naoms." Emily gently placed her bouquet of flowers, next to the ones which were already there, it was suddenly all so real again. It was already more difficult than she ever imagined it would be. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Naomi's twenty-fourth birthday was never meant to be like this. Like every other birthday in the last six years, they were supposed to spend it together. She was supposed to be spoiling her Wife in any which way she could but instead, she was here & Naomi wasn't. "I miss you so fucking much." Emily cried painfully. "This isn't fair."
"Good morning." Emily's grin was as wide as it ever had been. It was still early, the sun was starting to peer it's way through a small gap that was left between the bedroom curtains, sending in warm glow. Before Naomi could reply, the redhead swooped down & placed a loving kiss on the blonde's neck, slowly moving up her shoulder & eventually she lingered on her lips. "Happy birthday, Naoms."
"Hmm." Naomi groaned, her eyes still sleepy as her hands searched for Emily's waist. Eventually, they settled on their destination. She opened her eyes & was met with Emily sat on top of her, a leg either side of her body. An iluminious pink bra all that covered her top half. The blonde chewed her lip. A trail of explicit thoughts filtered through her mind instantly. "You should wake me like this more often."
"We'd never leave this room." She giggled, tracing her fingers along Naomi's stomach. "Do you want your present?"
"Depends..." Naomi started, her hands wandering up Emily's body, her fingers teasing the straps of Emily's bra, slipping them from her shoulders. "... If you have to leave this bed to get it then I can wait."
"That's hardly fair, Naoms." Emily's voice was husky, seductive. It made Naomi shiver. The red head's fingers still tracin the toned stomach of her girlfriend, teasing above the waist line of her underwear. "It's your birthday."
"Hmm, so I should get what I want."
"What do you want?"
Before the words had properly left Emily's lips, Naomi had brought them crashing down on her own, expertly flipping her girlfriend's body over so she was now laying on her back, the blonde now straddling her. She leant down, peppering kisses along Emily's neck, up to her ear-lobe, where she bit gently & heard the gasp from her lovers mouth. Naomi smiled, loving the reaction she was already getting. "You." She whispered, reaching around to un fasten the clip on Emily's bra. "Always you."
"I don't know what to say, which is fucking crazy because you always used to say you could never shut me up." The red head managed to giggle, despite her voice continuing to waver. She subconciously pulled at some of the grass in front of her. "I completed my intern-ship. I know that's what you wanted... I don't even know how I managed it-" Sometimes just knowing the fact that it's what her Wife wanted was enough to pull her through the tough days. "-I hope i've made you proud."
Everyone had told her she had. Katie, Gina, Dominic, even her own Mum. She would have given anything to hear Naomi tell her herself though. Absolutely anything.
"I'm moving back to Bristol. Now i've completed my intern-ship, I can work here." She continued. "I want to be near you. So i'll be here more often that I have been." She felt herself pausing, rather thoughtfully. "I'm going to spend a bit of time with your Mum too because she's been struggling, I really want to help her, I think we can help each other." One thing she promised herself was to stay in touch with Gina. Naomi's Mother had grown to treat Emily like her own & even when Naomi was around, they got on great together. Naomi would never admit it but she loved it. The red head brought her knees up to her chest & hugged herself tightly. "Sometimes... I really feel you around. It sounds crazy, fuck, I can even hear you laughing." She forced out another giggle, imagining Naomi's voice telling her she was ridiculous. "Some nights, I close my eyes tightly enough, I can feel you hugging me. I like to think you're always around, keeping an eye over us, looking after us, looking after me." She believed that. She forced herself to because in some way, it made things a little easier. "Katie's been doing a lot of that lately. Looking after me. I'm glad she's been visiting-" she ran her fingers over the card Katie had left with the flowers. "-I don't know it I could of dealt with this without her. She's been my rock."
"I don't know if I can do this."
Emily's voice wavered. She refused to turn away from the window, despite her Sister's presence in the room. Katie quietly closed the door & walked towards her sibling, from a shorter distance, she could see how difficult Emily had already found the morning. Her hair was loose, her eyes red due to a mixture of no sleep & plenty of tears. Katie knew, this was by far the hardest day Emily was ever going to deal with & her own heart ached because there was nothing she could do to fix it. Without a word, she urged Emily into a hug, squeezing her tight once they embraced.
"It's okay. It's okay." She soothed, whispering. She'd done this a lot lately.
"I don't want to say goodbye." Emily sobbed, burying herself into her Sister's shoulder. "I'm not ready."
"Ems... Ems... Look at me-" Katie pleaded, cupping her twin's face gently. Emily struggled to steady her breathing. "-You can do this." She reached down, taking Emily's hand in her own, giving it a quick squeeze for support to let her know, she was there & she would be for however long Emily needed her to be. Her gaze fell upon her wedding ring. Katie smiled slightly, remembering that day, remembering how, despite the fact they knew they didn't have long together, they made the most of every moment. She'd never seen Emily so happy. "I'm glad you married her, Em. I'm glad you got that day together."
"My proudest day." Emily spoke steadily & took a deep breath. "I've been such a selfish bitch this week."
"Yeah." Katie agreed with a smile. "But you're allowed to be. We're actually all really proud of you. Naomi would be too."
"You think that's what she'd say?"
"She was always proud of you, Ems." She answered honestly. "But right now, I think she'd probably tell you to stop with this shit, be brave & get your ass in the shower." Emily couldn't help but laugh, her Sister was right. She could almost hear Naomi tell her to pull herself together. "You're not on your own today, babes." Katie pecked Emily's cheek & caught a tear that had slipped half way down her face. "I'll wait for you downstairs."
An hour had passed.
Emily was preparing herself to leave.
For the last five minutes, she was stood staring at her Wife's name imprinted on the stone in front of her. 'Proud Wife to Emily'... Those words always left a flutter in her stomach, one she would never get tired of. She chewed her lip & for the first time, allowed herself to look up the path towards the car park where Katie was still waiting.
"It's time for me to go." Her voice caught in the breeze & she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Katie's waiting for me." She continued. "I'll be back in a few days, I promise."
She stopped herself. The lump in her throat growing as were the tears in her eyes. Staring at the ground, she puffed her cheeks out & pulled herself together. The last three words were proving, once again, to be the most difficult for her to say. They always broke her because now when she said them, she didn't have Naomi's beautiful smile staring back at her or she didn't hear them repeated back to her like she had become to used to over the years.
"I love you." She breathed, steadying herself to repeat it again, only stronger. "I love you, so much."