A/N: Hey guys, this is a new account of mine because I forgot the password to my other account. So anyways, this story is strictly Pezberry. And I hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Glee related.
It had been a long day for Rachel, another day of students telling her she will never amount to anything in the entertainment business, that she will always stay trapped in this hell hole called Lima, Ohio. But she never let a single comment get to her because she's endured it for her entire life, she can endure it for another year before her acceptance letter from NYADA comes and she leaves Lima and travels to the city that never sleeps, New York. As the petite brunette was walking through the empty halls of William McKinley High after glee club, she came across a black leather bounded journal lying on the floor of the hall, sitting there as if it was waiting for the rightful owner to come looking for it. Bringing her eyebrows together in curiosity, Rachel walked towards the journal and picked it up, studying the exterior of it very meticulously. Why would she give her attention to some stranger's journal? I'll tell you why, she felt a pull towards this journal, it felt like the journal was beckoning Rachel to take it into her custody and read the pages, learn about the owner and writer of the journal. And that's what the brunette did after she studied the outside of the journal, she quickly, but carefully placed it into her messenger bag and made her way home, eager to read the contents of the journal.
Once she got home, she greeted her dads and made a beeline to her bedroom, excited to read whatever was in the journal. But as she sat on her bed and placed the journal right in front of her, a feeling in her gut had stopped her joyous mood. She couldn't do this, she couldn't invade this person's privacy, it went against her morals and beliefs. After a few minutes contemplating, Rachel finally decided to open it and search for a name so she could return it to the rightful owner. And that's what she did; she opened the black leather journal open, revealing the crispy yellow pages that contained beautiful handwriting sprawled across the page. Rachel had found that the handwriting was mesmerizing, how the letters connected with each other in such a way that she found herself reading the contents of the journal.
Entry #1 Missing the Memories
Being alone and sick is the worst situation to be in for many people, but for me at this very moment, it is hell. Why? Because it gives me too much time to think about life, about my mistakes, about the bad memories. But most of all thinking about the person that you trust wholeheartedly, had the best memories, and a good natural flow, chemistry, and just easy to talk to, but it all came crashing down when the lie finally unraveled. When everything you thought of her was so amazing and wonderful and the stupid lie just ruined the very image of this person. But the vision never seemed to even shatter or anything in my case, it was just heavily blurred, like I was put under the illusion of her being an absolutely different person, the lie just made me think like that for a while. This just caused me to think about her even more than I usually do, worry about her, wanting to grab my phone, call her and tell her that I am truly sorry for lashing out on her, because in all honesty, she didn't deserve my anger at all. I never did that though, I pushed her away, so far that I didn't feel like I missed her at all, but I came to think that the more I pushed her away the more I thought of her, the more I felt the obligation to fix everything between us so that we can at least end on a good not. But no, I didn't play the bigger person. I played a scared little girl, afraid to forgive her and trust her again. While I played the scared little girl, I continued to contemplate what I should do, but nothing came to mind. Well until I fell sick once again with a high fever which came with rapid breathing, it surprisingly gave me a lot of time to think about my situation concerning her. And I realized that she never really left my train of thought, she was always my top priority in a way, I still ponder the good memories, the little jokes and giggles, everything. I came to the conclusion that if I think about her this much, almost as much as I care about my friends than I should keep her in my life, she's important to me, I need her in my life, I like having her, it's a nice break from my everyday stressful life. It gives me a chance to talk to a person with a different perspective on life, gives us a chance to really get to know each other through our weird and interesting discussions. But the most important think is because she can be the anchor that I need in my life. But like I said, I'm a scared little girl and I don't think I'm good enough to be a part of her life again, she's a girl with a big dream, she doesn't deserve a small town girl interfering with it. So I guess I'll watch from the sidelines and hope that she achieves her dreams.
When Rachel was finished reading the first entry of the journal, she had realized that she just went against her morals, but she didn't really care at this point, she just read a wonderful piece that she didn't think a student would be able to possess level of writing, but this journal was defying that theory for one Rachel Berry. Now, she yearned to find out the writer of this journal, to praise her for her writing, to tell her that the girl she was talking about in the first entry probably misses her too. And as curiosity invaded her mind once again, the brunette began to flip through the journal, finding pages filled with that beautiful handwriting, telling stories, displaying thoughts and possibly her perspective on Lima and life. Every turn of the page, the excitement was instilled into her petite body, wanting to know more about this person, knowing this person's story, her thoughts, everything. But as she came to the last page of the journal, it wasn't filled with the beautiful handwriting that she desires to read, it was empty and incomplete. The journal was still incomplete because the journal went missing from the owner and it will stay incomplete till Rachel manages to find the rightful owner, which might take a while since she still couldn't find a name. And it was the fact that the writer was so meticulous with her writing that she didn't bother with giving anyone's name let alone herself, making Rachel's task a bit more difficult.
Then an idea came to Rachel's mind, if she read the journal cover to cover, she can gather evidence and figure out who is the writer. It was a fool proof plan, but since this was an advance writer, it might take time to unravel the mysteries of the writing, finding little mistakes that can help distinguish this writer from the rest of the school. And that's what Rachel decided to do, read more, find more, and gain more insight to this wonderful person's mind. That's when she turned to the second entry of the journal, took a deep breath, and began to read the writing, with an open mind and an excited heart.
Entry #2 Separation
Life separates us by the strangest barriers, ranging from our more physical side, to psychological, sociological, etc. it makes society more segregated, making people feel more excluded that they already do. When in reality, society is supposed to bring everyone together and unite them. But we as humans naturally want to find our own niche, but we're never able to do that. Eventually we either give up or continue to find another niche to fit into.
Entry #3 Anger
Never in my life have I ever let my anger control me, my words, and my actions. But I don't know what overcame me, I know it was just out of pure anger, but it have never overpowered me. I'm ashamed that I let it influence me. I exploded; I let my emotions control me, and possibly ruined my sense of thinking for a while. I just need to control my mind, rebuild it from the ground up to ensure that I never let my emotions run wild. It might ruin my relationships and friendships if it were to happen. Strengthening my mind will help from exploding. Now it's all about rebuilding a broken friendship then strengthening it.
Entry #4 Music
Music is my savior; it makes my world go round. It melts my troubles away, makes me forget about the world for a short duration, allowing me to calm down or relax from the days hardships. But the most important thing about music is it relates to you, it allows you to truly open your heart to the situations happening in your life. When words can't mirror your feelings, music does. It doesn't matter the artist, genre, beat, only thing that matters is if the lyrics connect with you on a deeper level. If the lyrics speak, that's all that really counts. Music is my escape, my addiction.
Entry after entry she read, and the more she read, the hunger building up inside her became to overwhelming for her to ignore. So Rachel decided to set the journal down for a few minutes to travel down to her kitchen to grab a quick snack. During her venture downstairs, her mind began to eliminate the school's population to figure out this mystery person. And that's when her mind went from thoughts of Finn and glee club to a super computer, eliminating the students that didn't meet the requirements of the writer that she managed to conjure up in her head from reading the journal. She knew that the jocks were incapable of writing this much, let alone talking about a girl without mentioning boob size, the chess team and art geeks were definitely ruled out since they don't date and it was hinted that the writer does have a dating life. All there's left in the general group were the music geeks, the Cheerios, and the more intellectual side of the school, which means Rachel had managed to rule out half of the school. Once she got her snack, she went back up to her room, debating if she should read anymore, but decided against it as she already invaded this person's privacy enough for the night. As she finished her snack, Rachel went a placed the journal into the drawer of her nightstand and locked it, knowing that her dads would keep away if it was locked away safely. And with that, the brunette performed her nightly rituals and went to sleep, with scenarios playing out in her mind of who is likely to be the mystery writer.
As Rachel was sound asleep, a scream could be heard on the other side of Lima called Lima Heights. A scream that was full of fear and panic as a petite Latina ran around her room, tearing everything apart in search of her journal that she kept to write in. With every failed attempt looking for it, a slur of both Spanish and English swears came out. After an hour tearing apart her room and the entire house, she finally came to the conclusion that she either lost it on the way home or at school. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Santana flopped back onto her messy bed and hoped that the journal was in her locker and that she was thinking of the worse case scenario.
A/N: What did you guys think? I think I did pretty good for a person who hasn't written anything in a while. But review this story and tell me what you guys think. I usually incorporate the ideas you guys give me. (: