Disclaimer: I do not own Zombieland or anything related to zombieland besides the fact I'm implementing characters into their world. I do not profit from this in anyway besides the fact that I like writing. Salute!

Author's Notes: Hey guys and girls, I have written a story in a very long time, and I'm just tossing this one up there. If there are any errors please tell me and I will gladly fix them, other then that I hope you enjoy. I'm open to all suggestions and criticism.

This story is rated M for Mature Audiences. Just warning you again so that your momma's and papa's don't go off sending me emails. Or complaints.

"What what up the butt? My chainsaw up the butt!" Yelled a voice through the loud revving of a chainsaw. In a grocery store named "Hinnburg's Wonderland" a zombie was being severed vertically from the bottom up. The crazy soul laughed in a hoarse and obnoxious laugh, his scratched glasses and surgical mask that was covering his nose and mouth were sprayed in zombie blood as the procedure was completed. He wiped his brow and took off the mask with a wicked smile, admiring his handwork. He was a short but built Caucasian adult, his black-brown hair in an army buzz cut. He wore hard leather boots, camouflaged pants, a white t-shirt under a gray light jacket, and completed with a cap he found in a casino. A sawed off shotgun was strapped to his back, there was a gun holster on his left thigh that held a USP, and a bowie knife pouch on his right.

"You...are completely, absolutely, positively, the most fucked-up person I have ever met Buzz." Another voice came from the end of the aisle. There stood an Asian man with a raised eyebrow. His hair was longer then Buzz's, bangs running horizontally across his brow with highlights, and wasn't as built as Buzz because of his thinner and taller frame. He was wearing a full-fledged camouflage outfit, with gun holsters that covered him from head to toe.

"And that's why you love me man! Woooh Army of Two right Lights?" Buzz called back, stepping forward and putting a hand up for a high five. Lights couldn't deny his offer and slapped their hands together before mimicking their favorite video game and performing an air guitar duet.

The two had been childhood friends up through high school with plans for college, but the zombie apocalypse had more in store for them as they were forced to pair up. Buzz and Lights were amongst their many friends in a last barrage of parties before each and everyone of them went their separate ways. Buzz was going to become an Army Ranger, while Lights was going to become an Accountant. All of that had changed when the zombies had attacked the city they were in, and they had to now head for Fort Daggit.

But none of their past had mattered, for all that mattered was survival to the both of them. And they depended on each other and worked together to the fullest, becoming brothers in their journey to get to Fort Daggit.

"Oh hell yes!" Lights groaned in pleasure, holding onto one of the racks for support.

"You like that weird stuff don't you?" Buzz asked, raising an eyebrow as he continued to push.

"Dude, how could you not like these chips!? They taste amazing! They taste like... they taste like a breakfast made by those elves from the North Pole, except with chips because I think they only make cookies." Lights turned and put his back on the rack and slid down, munching on pizza flavored chips.

Buzz groaned in disgust as he continued to push a series of collected shopping carts out of the way to get to his own personal glory.

"You like your own nasty crap, and oh god baby I love mine. Come to papa!" Buzz grabbed onto a bag of baked cheddar chips and opened it, taking a large whiff and then letting out a childish glee. "Almost smells like fucking gunpowder, and you know I love the smell of gunpowder."

"You sound like a schoolgirl who just got the opportunity to touch the balls of someone from Twilight. I swear to god." Lights made sure that the last 4 words he said slowly and loudly. Buzz only shrugged his shoulders.

"Who says I don't want to?" Lights stopped in mid-crunch and horrifyingly looked over at Buzz, only to see him chuckling and exploding into one of his fits of laughter.

"You sick son of a bitch! Get the hell away from me!" Lights made a dash out of the area, and Buzz only laughed louder, his almost annoying voice was a little quieter. Just a little.

Lights made a mad dash for the other side of the grocery store. Sometimes Buzz was the creepiest guy in the world, and while he swore he was a heterosexual you just could never tell with that guy. Lights smiled and shook his head as he sat on a stack of cased soda cans.

"Buzz, you know sometimes I wonder about your sexuality." Lights chuckled to himself, and planned on enjoying a can of soda. His whole body froze before he got to pulling the cardboard apart.

There was a metallic clicking sound. Lights' senses were firing a hot feeling against his face, and he knew that his head was in the sights of another man's firearm. Or, in this case, a woman's firearm. Lights' smiled and slowly raised his hands to the air looked over at the woman holding him gunpoint. She was a young teen, seemingly 15 with long brown-purple hair around her shoulders. She had strong azure brown eyes, and a pretty face (which was hard to come by in these times). Under the pistol that was at his head, she wore a brown leather cowgirl jacket over a black top, Levi jeans, and yellow sneakers.

"Don't move." Her voice sounded sweet to Lights. Though, as sweet as a little girl who had a gun to his head could sound. Which isn't much.

A moment passed.

Two.

Nothing was happening.

There was silence between the both of them, and then the sounds of approaching footsteps was Buzz coming in.

"Fuck me. I was hoping you didn't have a gun to your head as well." Buzz appeared on the other end of the aisle, his hands raised as an older woman followed him.

"Yeah? Join the party."

"Both of you shut up." The woman behind called, poking Buzz in the back with a semi-automatic rifle. She was the leader of the two girls, an older woman in her early twenties. She had shorter hair then her younger counterpart, and it was chopped around her shoulders of the same color. Smooth, shiny skin, full lips, and a cute nose had Lights admiring her beauty. He was drawn to her eyes the most, they were a passionately bright brown, with much hope in them. Though half the times Lights tried to read people's faces he was wrong. Who knows about this time.

"Stand your ground Meg," Lights cocked his head to the side to the would be Meg, and gave her a wink. She didn't respond in any manner besides her glare intensifying slightly.

"Can I shoot him?" Meg suddenly asked. Lights raised an eyebrow, keeping his eyes on hers, testing her. It seemed as if she hated them so much, and they had done nothing wrong. There was a past between these two girls, and Lights wanted to figure it out.

"Not yet." Lights turned his head over to the approaching pair. When his eyes met Buzz's, he saw a heavy and serious looking coming from him. Tension filled the air when Lights knew what he was going to do. He could tell by how shaky Buzz's hands were.

Buzz started walking slower, and then the older female behind him again jammed the end of the rifle into his back ushering him faster. Buzz did, but as he went forward he swung to her right and with his right hand he pushed the rifle away. Sliding across the tile floor he was behind the older woman in almost a flash, releasing his USP pistol out of it's holster and holding it to the older woman's head and putting an arm around her head in a choke hold.

"Put the gun down!" Buzz yelled as soon as he had the gun to the older woman's head, who in the struggle fired a round into the shelf, penetrating several soap bottles. The older woman had let go of her rifle as soon as his arm came around her throat, and pulled at it, loosening her efforts when the pistol would be digging into her skull.

"Don't listen to him Meg!" She shouted, muffled somewhat by the pressure on her throat.

"Put the gun down right now, and you'll save both of your lives. Don't do anything stupid! Think about it!" Buzz was not a negotiator; Lights' knew there were going to be lives lost if he didn't cut into this right now. Buzz could keep his cool, but he couldn't keep the situation cool. Meg seemed extremely uneasy with the scenario brought before her, and Lights just couldn't stand having a girl in any discomfort, despite the fact he was being a hostage by Meg.

"Buzz... let's just, not go through this right now." Lights softly spoke, an air of surrender in his voice.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Buzz called back, annoyed at his friend's words. "No, Lights this is your problem. Don't get me dragged into your personal shit!" Both women felt slightly confused at the predicament before them, the fact that they weren't doing anything and the two boys were arguing against each other.

"You and I both know we couldn't hurt a human woman." Lights took a deep breath, mentally cussing at himself for voicing their personal weakness. Buzz shook his head and bit his lip.

Buzz eyed Meg, her eyes flickering back and forth between him and Lights. He then eyed Lights, and saw the defeated look in his eyes, and then he figured the chances he had with surviving by himself out in the world. Boy Scouts and Basic Training in the army prepared him for the worst. Lights is a nice addition to the effort, but Buzz didn't depend on him to survive. He, himself had a strong fighting chance to making it to Fort Daggit by himself. Defeat is not an option.

"God damnit." Buzz cussed, and took a sharp breath.

Buzz gently loosened his hold on the woman and she broke out of it. She stumbled for air for a moment, and then grabbed her rifle off the ground and pointed it back at Buzz. Both men noticed her slightly bloodshot and watery eyes from the lack of oxygen, and she cocked the rifle, ready to shoot.

Buzz hated Lights at this moment. He was right though, neither of them could hurt a lady, even in these times of desperate measures. It didn't really help that to these guys, these women were "smoking hot." Their past was brought into a full grinding halt when it came to killing women, even the undead. It was easy for Buzz at first, but after a tragic incident that had scarred Lights forever, it slowly affected Buzz as well.

Buzz slowly, with great effort placed his gun down on the ground, and putting his hands behind his head, made his way by Lights and got onto his knees. They both stared into the eyes of the women, suspicion in the older woman's, and something curious in Meg's.

"Fucking asshole, you just had to say it." Buzz called out to Lights.

"You're a dick, and you're welcome." Lights replied back. A soft chuckle followed.

There was silence as the two girls stood next to each other and couldn't believe what had just happened. Two guys had them at their advantage and they gave it up simply because they were women. They felt obliged to rob them dry, to take everything they had and leave them hanging. But it wouldn't necessarily make them better then the man that they had encountered before.

Another moment followed, and both of the men closed their eyes and breathed in slow gusts of air. They knew it would be their last, and deep down inside. They hoped it would have been.

But fate had different plans drawn out for them, and instead of the synchronized bangs of gunpowder exploding in metal cases, there was a sound that neither of the young men had heard in a very long time. In fact, it had been so long, they had almost forgotten what it sounded like.

It was laughter.

Giggling started filling the air with its mischievous nature. Both of the men were stupefied when they saw Meg giggling almost softly. A smile gracing her lips, and her eyes were almost burning with happiness. It turned into a stronger giggle, louder and with more intensity. She had to eventually hold a hand to her mouth to attempt to muffle it, but it didn't work. The older woman soon joined into her laughter, whether or not she thought the situation was funny as well, or if it was the nature of how contagious Meg's giggling was, neither of them knew or cared.

Buzz and Lights had opened their eyes to smiling women after their laughter had stopped. They both had thought it was maniacal, satanic, perhaps even psychotic they were laughing before they would end their lives. But the sounds of dis-arming weapons and both of them holstering their guns and turning the safety on suggested otherwise.

In a strange way, to everyone in the room, the tension had vanished almost as soon as it had appeared. A strange warm feeling had encompassed the whole group, and Lights' cautiously smiled back.

"Are…you going to kill us?" He looked warily at the two of them as he did so, his palms were shaky and sweaty with anticipation for their next move.

Meg eyed her companion who eyed her back. They shared a moment of advanced telepathic communications through an abnormal 6th sense that required intense training and natural talent. In other words, they shared a look only they could interpret as both of their male counterparts watched dumbly, forming their own conclusions.

"Not yet."

They both stepped forward and generally greeted both of the gentlemen. They girls began to explain that they were holding up in Hinnburg's Wonderland for both the surprisingly low population of zombies and the abundance of groceries. There was a civilian operated "anti-zombie" zone named "New Haven" a couple dozen miles away that they held radio contact with. They were planning a trip to deliver much needed supplies of foods but had no means of transportation to the zone, and estimated at least a 4-day trip of stealth provided there wasn't a thousand zombies between the store and New Haven.

All the vehicles besides the one Lights and Buzz came in on were dead, and bicycling wasn't an option because of the poor conditions all the bikes they had found from the houses were in. Meg had suggested skateboarding their way there, but...neither of them knew how to skateboard.

Both parties exchanged stories, both parties got to know each other. Both parties thought it would be best to not get close, since both of their destinations seemed to be in different areas it wouldn't be wise to get close. Nevertheless they did, and as the hours passed by they became fond, becoming friends, and even closer yet.

Night came faster then anyone would have expected. Barricading procedures were set up by Buzz, along with their escape route and rations. "Perishable's first, I don't care what you want to eat. This isn't a buffet here, this is smart survival." Groans were followed shortly after from both of the women, but Lights was used to Buzz's strict guidelines. Came with being his friend.

Buzz and Lights were standing together next to the ladies. They were sitting on the checkout lanes of number 4 and 5. Buzz sat on his lane and went through a checklist on a clipboard he had found. Lights was hiding a chocolate candy bar that he was eating from Buzz. Meg tried her best not to laugh when he'd sneak a bit into his mouth and act like he was yawning.

"Looks like everything seems to be in order." Buzz put the pen on his ear and flipped the piece of paper up, scanning the contents of the second page. "Oh, we didn't catch your name." Buzz looked up from his clipboard and eyed the older woman, who had surprisingly kept her name hidden from them this whole time. Lights momentarily stopped what he was doing and looked up, eager. Meg placidly looked over at her partner, her face was blank but inside she too was curious to what she was going to say.

"Since you boys have little nicknames over your real names, I figured I should too." She smiled as she did so, tapping her chin and shifted into the "thinker pose." Buzz cracked a smile.

"Alright, let's see what'cha got." Lights leaned forward and held his chin with one hand.

"Hmm.... I was thinking something like Rose." Rose had nodded.

"Rose? Oh comon that's so common and bland!" Lights coughed, critiquing rose.

"What? I think it's kind of cute." Meg chimed in, raising an eyebrow at Lights.

"Well how about Daisy?" Lights nearly choked while Meg stuck her tongue out. They both looked at each other and shook their head.

"I think it's kinda cute." Buzz chimed in, which received a smile from Daisy. Lights thought that sounded extremely awkward. Buzz's annoying cracked voice airing a compliment sort of canceled each other out.

"Thank you!" Daisy responded with a smile towards Buzz, and glared directly at both Meg and Lights. "How in the world did both of you make your names anyway?"

Buzz and Lights gave each other a grin and cocked their heads up in a brotherhoodly manner. "Lights because of my highlights, and buzz because he has no hair." Lights shrugged when they looked at them funny and struggled to contain their laughter.

"Does that mean I'm Shortie and she's Longie?" She wasn't exactly in an accepting mood with their creative, but un-stylish method. Not to mention it was one of the cheesiest thing she's ever heard of.

Buzz interjected as soon as he could and put his hand up and waved it. "No-no-no, it doesn't have to be length, it could be color." Meg's smile had faded as she thought about it, and Daisy shook her head and looked at her companion.

"That doesn't work out very well because we both have brown hair." Daisy noted, pulling at her short hair and taking a brief glimpse at it, as Meg coiled her long hair around her index finger. Lights jumped off the checkout lane and took a closer look at both Meg and Daisy. Daisy was curious as to his analysis, while Meg eyed him strangely and reflexively leaned her head back.

"Don't worry Meg, I'm not gonna bite." Lights spoke softly, a gentle smile directed towards Meg. Daisy looked on with amusement, noticing the blush Meg was trying to hide. Buzz took a close look at both of their hair, his eyes drifting from their target for a millisecond as he examined them both for a short moment.

"Diagnosis doc?" Daisy raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the counter. Buzz had to avert his eyes to not let himself stir at the pose she was in.

"Your hair is the brown of Oak, Mahogany, Timber, Chestnut, Maple, that like. You're a strong woman, one that provides and protects, even if you are soft inside." Daisy smiled, winking at Lights.

"Tree's aren't soft inside, but thanks for noticing. There's a lot more to me then that, too." She pointed a finger at Lights and poked him in the shoulder blade hard enough for him to get the point.

"Oh I know, and over the next few days it would be my pleasure to learn more!" Lights voiced enthusiastically.

"Dork." Daisy responded half-heartedly. She looked at him with a fulfilled smile, always charmed by someone interested in her.

Buzz held his hands to his neck and pretended to choke himself. Daisy gave him an annoyed 'I'm going to beat you up' look if he didn't stop but he silently laughed and continued behind Lights' back.

"As for you, miss chocolate, root beer, cinnamon, colored haired lady of the east, your hair gives an aura of a sweetheart if an even bitter taste at first."

Daisy gasped silently and her eyes bulged as she laughed silently to herself. If she knew Meg, right now Meg would be...

A/N: Love doing that. I'm already working on the Second chapter!