What Emmett is not aloud to.

special thanks to Isabella Black Whitlock Voltur for numbers 1 and 40.

Alice helped sweep up the shards of broken glass from Emmett's latest Shenanigan

"Something has to be done about him." Jasper took out a piece of paper and unfolded it.

THINGS EMMETT IS NOT ALOUD TO DO

1. Emmett cannot be allowed to choose what to do on Halloween. (he'll make everyone dress up like monsters and go out to ask for candy and then dare them to eat it all!)

2. Emmett is not aloud to have sex in Edwards Volvo.

3. or alices porshe

4. or carlises mercedes

is not aloud to attempt to get drunk.

6. Attempt to juggle with Esme's china

7. Microwave Peeps...

8. ...and leave them in Jasper's favorite book

9. Sing "Ninety-nine bottles of grizzly blood on the wall.."

10. Liberate (i.e. steal) every pet in town...

11. ...and then sell them back to their owners...

12. ...after shaving them and gluing sequins on them.

13. Buy a pet..

14. Give it a paper cut

15. And wave it in front of Jasper's face

16. Emmett is not aloud to join a ballet class

17. Emmett is not aloud to convince renessme that air is poisonous

18. Or human food

19. Emmett is not aloud to drain endangered species

20. emmett is not aloud to pick fights with the volturi

21. Emmett is not aloud to panic at a disco.

22. Actually, he's not To disco period.

23. He is not aloud to arm restle Bella on pieces of furniture

24. Emmett is not aloud to comment on Edward and Bella's sex life

25. Or Alice and Jasper's

26. Or Carlisle and esme's

27. or his and Rosalie's

28. Or anyone else's

29. Especially not in front of Charlie, because he doesn't have one.

30. He is not aloud to scream Michel Jackson when ever Someone opens their mouth

31. Or turtles

32. Or unicorns

33. Or Voldemort

34. Or anything else

35. No one in the house can do doggy style because it would offend Jacob.

36. He is not aloud to tease alice about her height

37. no one, especaly emmett is not Allowed to referred to Edward as the "100-year-old Virgin"

38. Or "sex hair Ed"

39. He is not aloud to refer to Rosalie as "his bitch"

" and last but certainly not least," Alice said

40. Emmett is not allowed to sing aloud and think on his mind all day long Barbie Girl.
Everyone will want to kill him to get him to shut up.

"Think that'll do it?" Jazz asked " I hope rose replied Emmett came in and read the list. "It dosent say I can't do them all at once. He said and smirked