The Only Thing You Can Do....
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Well, this is a birthday present to Beth (AKA Ruby Alien)! I hope you like it!! (Even though it's VERY late.... Gomen nasai about that!) [By the way....you MUST visit her site! It's dedicated to The Mediator and one of the few Mediator sites on the net! *huggles Beth*] Anyway, this is also a sequel type thingie to "So Call Me Stupid." I hope that everyone who requested a sequel enjoys this... *grins*
Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING!!
EVERYTHING: Kon'nichi wa!
See? *evil grin* ;D
Later on that day, when I came home, I immediately sprinted for my only sanctuary: my room. There, I could be myself--no games, no hiding, no lies. But secrets....yes, there were secrets. I bounded up the stairs and tossed my backpack on the floor by my bed.
And I stopped.
There, lying open on the page that I had left off on, was my journal. I blinked. I had to have been seeing things. No one went through my room, my stuff. No one even liked going into my room! Well, except for one person.....
Noticing more handwriting on the paper, handwriting that wasn't my own, I quickly picked up my journal and scanned the page. My blood ran cold. Jesse......it had been Jesse who had gone through my things. I couldn't believe it! The one person who I trusted above anyone else was the one who had read my most personal thoughts!
I continued reading. What he wrote....it was sad. Touching. Continuing to read, I groped for my bed and plopped down on it. What I had just read.......three simple words.....had made me weak in the knees.
'I love you.'
He, Jesse, loved me. Me! I thought this over. A part of me rejoiced in this. I never thought that he would ever love me. But another part, a bigger part, wanted to cry. Yes, the man that I loved loved me back. So what? He was a ghost. We had no hope. We had no future. What lay before us would only be ashes. Regrets....
Even though it wasn't like me, I crawled under the covers and wept. What was the point in loving if it only brought pain? There was no point in it all.....
* * *
I was deeply asleep when he came to me that night. At first, when I felt his gentle tap on my shoulder, I thought it was my mom trying to wake me up for school. So I did what any normal teenager would do: I burrowed deeper under my covers, trying to get away from the insistent tapping.
"Suze...." a deep male's voice begged. Abruptly, my eyes widened and I fully awakened. My room was dark, but I could clearly see Jesse's face looking at me earnestly.
"Jesse..." I began. "What are you doing here?"
He tried to grin at me, but failed miserably. "I'm very sorry about reading your journal earlier...." he said. "Now that I see your face, I wish that I hadn't given you this burden to bare.... Believe me when I say that I am sorry..... So very sorry..."
I smile slightly and tug his arm, pulling him down to sit next to me on my bed. "Why are you sorry, Jesse?" I ask.
He sighed. "Because of me......you have this pain, this sorrow in your eyes. You never had it before and I know that it is because of me that you have it. When I wrote down what I did in your journal, I never thought about the consequences. I never thought about what my confession of love would mean to you. I never thought about.....us. The future."
"What future?" I ask bitterly. "There is no future between us. We may love each other, but you and I both know that it can't go anywhere. We have no hope." I laugh suddenly and that startles him. "What a pair we make. You, a ghost. And me, a Mediator. What are we to do....?"
Jesse smiled at me softly and hugs me. Gently, he takes my face in his hands and leans down to kiss my lips. "The only thing we can do, querida. The only thing we can do.......is love."