The Ponies Series
Lunar Eclipse
Scene: #1
Time: 1:00 AM
I couldn't believe it. He's been doing this for two weeks nonstop! How dare he come home at hours such as these and give the same retarded excuse "I was hanging out." and pass out on the bed? No… NO! I will not deal with this anymore! This will not commence for another day. Not on my watch…
I got up and got a black head scarf, folded it, and tied it around my head. I kind of looked like a ninja but I ignored that fact. I got out my weapon belt and put it around my waist. Then got to stocking stuff like AK 47's, assault rifles, pistols, machine guns, shotguns, explosives, and several knives and spikey stuff. I grabbed my grenade launcher and rocket launcher and was finally satisfied with the small amount of the weapons I owned. I then put on a black hoodie and put two orange lines on my cheeks. I pulled the hood of the hoodie over my head and hid some more weapons in my tail and mane and put a long knife in my mouth. I put on a chest strap filled with ammunition. I made sure my fangs were sharp and put on spikey horseshoes that can burn or electrocute at my command.
I was ready to kill somepony.
Scene: #2
Time: 1:20 AM
I lurked the alleyways of Ponyville, searching with hawk eyes for my target. It looked as if I had on sunglasses (Like Rainbow Dash) but they were actually night vision glasses. I looked as if I were playing Call of Cutie: Black Colts and had a cheat to get all the weapons. I quietly trotted around looking up and down the alleyway. I saw a few homeless ponies. I figured that he might be in a place like this to hide whatever secrets he had away from me. Like mares. Not on MY watch! I then heard something I was glad and disappointed to hear. A mare moaning… and MY Variety grunting! Oh man he had something coming for him. I went to the place the noises were coming from and approached the door of a strange building. Why it was strange… was because if looked a little bit fancy and had comforting soft looking creamy white walls. I wasn't going to let that distract me at all. Matter of fact I was so angry I didn't pay attention to the sign on the door that said 'One Bit Massages for the Homeless' and it was in bold letters too!
I silently opened the door. I was going to kill the wench, then the bastard. I silently crept across the room. Variety's body, like I thought, was on another mare. A FILTHY one at that! And he was on top of her, moving back and forth, groaning and grunting the entire time. He was even sweaty. HOW DARE HE CHEAT ON ME, AN AWESOME MOM AND WIFE, WITH THIS WENCH! I felt rage boil inside me as I came in behind him. Thankfully for my eyes sake, I didn't actually see it going inside that! I came up really close to him and pulled out my dagger. I then pulled him off the mare and held the dagger to his throat.
Scene: #3
Time: 1:30
My target yelped in surprise as I grabbed him off that filthy sorry excuse for a mare. I put my dagger where it was just touching his neck, but if he moved, he wouldn't die. He has to give me answers before he dies. I got ready to yell…
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU DISGUSTING SON OF A BITCH AND SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STALLION!?" I yelled so loud that the royal sisters could hear me.
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Luna and Celestia were talking to each other and were just about to part ways and headoff to bed when they heard a scream. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU DISGUSTING SON OF A BITCH AND SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STALLION!?" They heard very loud and clear. The windows in the castle shattered to bits. Celestia felt a vein pop on her forehead.
"Doesn't that pony know how many windows are going to need to be replaced in Equestria!?" Celestia grumbled out and sighed. Her subjects didn't usually irritate her, but this was just ridiculous.
"What do you suppose we do?" Luna asked, not knowing what to do in a situation such as this.
"We track them down and have a word with them… in about seven more hours." Celestia yawned and they continued walking to their bedroom, Celestia telling all the guards to start repairing all of the glass items.
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I wanted answers and I wanted them now! Cheating on a mare friend is one thing, but cheating on a wife that you vow to be by their side for the rest of your life. I'm the one that gave birth to his son. I never thought he would do such a disgracing thing as betraying me like this.
"I-I can explain. Just don't kill me!" he yelled in panic.
"Then explain yourself you dirty idiot!" I yelled in anger.
"If you read the sign on the door, it says 'One Bit Massages for the Homeless' because homeless ponies don't get a break in their life that much." He explained. "I work here super late for extra money"
"What about those moans and grunts then." I said bitterly.
"Oh, well I had just started massaging and I was grunting in concentration, and she was moaning because the procedure was relaxing. As for the sweat, well the air conditioner is broken, so it's pretty warm in here."
"So… you had me and our son worried over nothing… do you know what I brought with me!? Several guns, knives, and explosions! And torture weapons! JUST BECAUSE YOU DECIDED NOT TO TELL ME ABOUT WHERE YOUR DUMB ASS LEFT LATE AT NIGHT!?" I yelled super loudly... again.
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Celestia woke up to loud screaming and glass shattering. Oh it is on. She sent a letter to Twilight to find who is responsible for the loud screaming and breaking of windows. She even sent guards to search with her. That should do the trick. She checked on Discord to make sure he hadn't escaped. Thankfully he was still stone.
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Scene: #4
Time 2:00 AM
Everypony in the situation, including me, was calmed down and went to their homes. After putting lots of bruises on Variety, I sat down on the couch and sketched out me and other ponies I knew. It's weird that I'm so good at drawing, but my talent it making solar eclipses. I can stay up with no sleep for weeks and have energy like I was really sleeping. I guess that's why my name is Lunar Eclipse. Although I do prefer being called Luna (Luna is crossed out because the royal Luna would kill me!) or Eclipse.
I was in the middle of drawing a royal guard when I heard a knock at my door. It's 3:00 AM for Celestia's sake! Who, besides me, is up at this hour!? I went to the door and what do you know? Six mares and ten guards. What did I do wrong? They had surprised looks on their faces. I then noticed I looked like I was some dangerous murderer so I took the head scarf and glasses off… and took the knife out of my mouth that I hadn't realized was still there until now, and somehow made the orange paint on my face disappear. No I'm not a unicorn… I'm a Pegasus. I put my rocket launcher on the floor beside me and took off my bullet proof vest. I finally looked at them with an innocent smile.
"May I… help you with something?" I asked in my most innocent voice.
"W-we were told that you screamed so loud that Ponyville and Canterlot had all of their windows shattered, I-including the royal palace, ma'am." Said one of the guards. Hah! I made a royal guard STUTTER! Oh this was totally worth it. I almost laughed out loud, but I kept a serious face as I held back my laughter.
"Oh err… sorry about that. You see…" I explained the whole situation. Somehow they ended up in my house but who cares. When I was done, the yellow mare with the pink mane whimpered a little.
"U-um… d-don't you think that w-was a bit m-much." She said in the shyest voice.
"Nah not really, I mean he's totally used to me going into rage and grabbing guns, knives, and explosives. I've never killed with my weapons, only defended and scared. But if you want me to pull out my guns and check them or something, then that's fine." I told them. They looked a bit surprised, but nodded their heads.
Scene: #5
Time: 3:00 AM
So far I had pulled out at least 1,000 guns, 10,000 explosions, and uncountable sharp objects.
"This is all the weapons in the house so far," I said "But I do have more coming in and my golden weapons are hidden in certain places in Ponyville. It has a hoof-print code and if I'm not the one to pick it up it will electrocute the intruder." I explained. Their mouths dropped open wide. "What?" I asked as if that were normal. "I also specialize in technology, strength, martial arts, and flexibility." I smiled when I finished telling them about what I was good at.
The purple mare looked as if she were in deep thought when I finished talking.
"Are you evil… or like a could-be hero?" she asked.
"I can't say… if I'm angry, then I'm evil. Any other time though, I'm a really useful super hero. Matter of fact, maybe I should join the royal guard?" I asked "I could be useful and you could make sure I'm no crazy killer." I explained. They thought about it really hard. They've been looking for a really talented pony to have on the force. After some persuading (Or begging and endless poking and forcing them to listen to Pinkie Pie for an hour), they finally agreed to let me join the royal guard. This was sweet! Of course I would have to go over some boring training sessions for a few weeks, but who cares? This is the actual ROYAL GUARD I was joining!
"Err… Please come this way ladies." One of the guards said as they walked out the door with the rest of us following.
Main story
Time: 5:00 AM
I was at the training grounds at last! A very dangerous course was right ahead, and I was ready to put my skills to great use. I met the Captain of the Royal Guard, and he explained to me all of what I had to do. It was basically like an entrance exam I had to go through.
"Now you have to go through the Pegasus Stage only-"
"I would like to go through the Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasus stages Sir!" I told him. He looked surprised, but nodded his head. "The hardest obstacles please." I said in a hard tone. He had a doubtful look on his face.
"Are you sure you want to do that? I wouldn't want you to get hurt." He said in concern. That made me a bit angry.
"I'm really sure." I replied. He shrugged his shoulders and moved aside to let me start. Some guards and the six ponies that were with me earlier were watching me. I moved to the unicorn station. All the ponies thought I was going to fail this one.
"Okay there are ten blocks of wood." He motioned to the wood on the ground. "I want you to do these attacks *He pointed at the symbols carved in the huge blocks of wood.* to the wooden blocks." He briefly explained the task. Easy Shmeasy!
I went to the first block. It had a symbol of fire on it. So after three seconds of concentration, the block erupted into flames. Everypony watched in awe as I turned a block to water, shocked a lightning bolt into another, and so forth. And after I was done attacking the items, I made them disintegrate. Man being born in Mobius really had its advantages!
After The Captain was done staring in awe, he told me to make the best force field I could around anything huge. I concentrated and soon I had an impenetrable force field around all of Canterlot, much like the one he made at his wedding. After a few minutes of holding it, I let it disappear because it was getting boring.
"I'm done… how about Earth Stage!" I said with no tiredness in my voice. Actually, it was the complete opposite. The Captain got over his shock and lead me to what looked like an obstacle course. A long obstacle course at that. This will be fun!
"Just go through this obstacle course. It should take about ten minutes to complete." He explained the task to me.
"No sweat. This'll be fun!" I said like I was going to an amusement park.
"Okay…" he dragged out. I was ready for this! "Set," he began counting down. "GO!" he whined out. I smirked and dashed forward. The first obstacle was flaming tires with scorching red hot coal inside them. I easily ran through them with a smirk still on my face. I saw a spikey, fiery, and extremely dangerously tall wooden ledge. I chuckled a bit, and shot into the air with my wings still tied to my back. I then shot forward with an unknown force. Homing attack! I landed on the ground, leaving a small crack in it and continued on. I went across a thin beam with scorching fire under it. I ran across it. After going through the obstacle course of fire and spikes, I landed with a thud and smiled. I didn't have a scratch on my body. Without him saying anything I went onto the Pegasus Stage. I saw another obstacle course and immediately got ready. As soon as I heard the word 'Go' I was off. After making a record on the course I saw a long race track.
"This race track is for Earth and Pegasus ponies and is used for Unicorns also." He explained. "I need you to run and fly as long and fast as you can." He told me. As long and fast as I can? This will blow their heads off! I readied myself for the running part of my exam. I can run up to Mach six for my top speed without chaos emeralds or anything close to them. I blasted off as soon as I heard the magic word. At five seconds I made a sonic boom. Soon I was at top speed zooming so fast I nearly made a tornado. I stopped after about ten minutes.
"I only stopped because running for an hour would have probably done some damage here." I said. I went to the start line to hear an unfocused "go…" and I was off. I flew around at amazing speeds. The wind rushing though my mane was refreshing and the sound of the wind was like music! I created not only a sonic rainboom, or a double rainboom, of even a triple rainboom. I created a quintuple rainboom! I couldn't be seen at this point. All anypony would be able to see is electricity and orange smoke. I made all of Canterlot rumble. Many ponies thought an earthquake was happening. They were partly true. I decided that I was going a bit far and skid across the ground for five minutes before finally stopping in front of The Captain. He looked as if he was struggling to keep from fainting and all of the other ponies had the same look.
"Eh… finished…?" I half asked and half told.
"H-how… how w-were you doing t-that!?" He exclaimed.
"Well I really don't know how I did it… I just did. I guess I have a lot of power inside me… and knowledge… and physical capability." I said with a shrug.
"Well how about you be Vice Captain of the Royal Guard? I know it is a quick move but you're Captain material. Plus, we've been in desperate need for a very talented pony for a while now since the Discord incident... and the Queen Chrysalis incident… and many other incidents. We were never able to stop them so we want to be as guarded as possible. Celestia will be proud to know we have a very skillful pony with us!" He said with his tone happy and excited.
"Now hold on a second!" yelled one of the guards "You're saying that after years of experience that we've had, you're letting a newbie mare be the VICE CAPTAIN!? This is ridiculous!" He yelled in anger.
"Hey, she has more skill than the whole entire Force! We've needed somepony like her for months!" The Captain shouted back.
"WELL I QUIT SHINING ARMOR!" The guard yelled emphasizing his name and stomping off in pure anger.
"It's CAPTAIN ARMOR TO YOU SIR!" Yelled out who I now knew as Shining Armor. After that he sighed and looked to the ground. He kicked the dirt some and raised his head back up. He must get upset when somepony quits. "Sorry about that… come with me and you can get your uniform." He said quietly. The time they spent talking gave the others enough time to break out of their shock. They followed us into the castle to where the uniforms were.
I looked AWESOME! My uniform looked like the other ones except it was made of platinum and had more designs on it. Perfect to go with my platinum guns and knives. The Mohawk that was automatically there because of the shape of the helmet was orange instead of the usual blue. The uniform shined proudly on my body as my toned body stood proud with it. I couldn't believe that screaming got me in this uniform in a matter of hours. Not months, not weeks, not days… hours! I then had a question in my head.
"Is it fine if I bring any and all weapons I have at home so the guards and I will be able to have that on us?" I asked him.
"You sure you've got enough?" He asked confused as to why I had so many weapons.
"I have enough for everypony to have at least ten weapons with ammunition that's full." I stated. He shook his head. He must know now that I have lots of surprises. I think everypony else figured that too because no questions were being thrown at me.
"Okay. So I'm guessing you can teleport right?" He asked.
"Of course!" I exclaimed.
Two Minutes Later
All of the guards had weapons. The higher the rank, the fancier and stronger the weapon. Shining Armor and I had the platinum weapons. I even gave us a platinum belt to hold the weapons inside on our waist. Shining Armor was impressed at the progress I was making already. Arming the whole entire Royal Guard with weapons in a matter of minutes was very impressive. I got to meet (And apologize) to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I had the life now. My family and I are more wealthy and living in Canterlot…
Thanks to all of my anger problems.