The following is a transcript of a sermon by High Priest Golden Halo at the First Temple of Harmony in 402 AR (2550 old calendar). Made by chrononaut Danyel Tanteb [ID: 124c41]
BEGIN
(Congregation files in. Each member makes the sign of the rainbow, then sits down.)
(Golden Halo walks to the pulpit. His flowing dyed hair blown by whisper-quiet fans. He raises his hands)
Golden Halo: Welcome, children of the pony sisters. It is so good to see you on this most holy of days.
"Let us start by greeting each other."
(Each member of the congregation stands and gives their member a traditional Harmonist greeting of a fist bump)
(Congregation remains standing) ( the choir files in. Each member is dressed in one of the sacred colors: white, pink, orange, cyan, yellow, and lavender)
(Choir begins)
My little Pony, My Little Pony. Ah, ah, ah, ah…
My Little Pony. I used to wonder what friendship could be. My Little Pony. 'Til you shared its magic with me. Big adventure. Tons of fun. A beautiful heart. Faithful and Strong. Sharing kindness. Its an easy feat. And Magic Makes it all complete.
My Little Pony. You're all my very best friend.
(Choir exits)
Golden Halo: (lowers his hands) "You may now be seated"
(congregation sits)
Golden Halo: "Brothers and pegasisters, unless you all have been living under Tomas the rock for the past 4 centuries, you all know the story of the Revelation. In fact, most of you can probably recite it word for word in your sleep.
But certainly there's nothing wrong with telling it again, now is there?"
(light laughter)
(Golden Halo takes out a large , leather-bound book. He opens it and clears his throat)
Golden Halo: (points to a stained glass depiction of men killing each other under a mushroom cloud) "In the days after the Last War, man was ruled by disharmony. The terrible magics he had wielded during that horrible conflict had scourged his soul in the same way they soured the land. It is said that a man would kill his own children for the smallest scrap of food. The only law was the law of the gun. The forces of disharmony laughed in glee.
Golden Halo: (points to a stained glass depiction of two winged unicorns flying over a man dressed in rags. At the top is a book titled "Welcome to Ponyville")
" It was then that the Celestial Princesss and the Lunar princess decided to act. To a humble merchant from the Dead City of Sattle, they gave a sacred book. A book which told of a land ruled by harmony.
(Points to a stained glass depiction of six multi-colored ponies)
Golden Halo: "He learned of the Element Bearers: Apel-Jak the honest, Airrety the Generous, Pink-Pi the Humorous,, Raibow-Daz the Loyal, Flutah-Shy the Kind, and Tweye-lit Sparkle, the Gifted. He learned of a fantastic land where war was unheard of; where fantastic creatures of all shapes and sizes lived together in love and harmony. And the most blessed of them were the ponies.
Golden Halo: "The Merchant scoured the Dead cities, trying to find more of these sacred artifacts. During his search, he found that he was not the first to know of the princesses".
Golden Halo: (points to stained glass depiction of a t-shirt with a Pegasus on it. The word "Brony" is inscribed on it in block letters") They called themselves the "Brony", and they were fiercely dedicated to the sisters and their subjects. They would turn their sleeping quarters into shrines to Harmony, decorating them with all sorts of images and idols. The more artistic among them would draw images of the sisters and the element bearers, while those skilled with the pen dutifully recorded their adventures and trials for posterity. The most zealous among them would even dress as the Sisters and their bearers.
Golden Halo: (points to a stained glass image of the merchant writing a book while the unicorns watch) "Even in death, these-long departed disciples taught the merchant much. Though some of their teachings seemed contradictory, even bizarre at times, the merchant eventually learned all there was about Harmony. The Sisters then tasked the merchant to spread their love and tolerance throughout the world. To do this, they instructed him to write the first Book of Harmony. "
Golden Halo: (points to a stained glass image of the merchant dressed in white robes, carrying a book.) "Once the last word on the last page was written, the newly-named Messenger set out into the wasteland to fullfill his sacred task."
"And the rest, as they once said, is history."
Golden Halo: (closes book). "Now my brothers and peg sisters, I will now keep you much longer. I know you must be anxious to join in the Revelation Day feasts, so I will end with a simple verse from 2nd Revelation, chapter 5:"
'Love and Tolerate, people. Love and Tolerate."
"You are dismissed."
My Little Pony is property of IHOP and the Flying Spaghetti Monster I mean Hasbro and Lauren Faust.