Author's Note:

Divisionten asked for something with Rocket's kids, Uno Duo and Trey, and how they interact with the team. Initially this was going to start before they were born and had lots of bickering among the team about what to do with them. It probably would have fit the prompt better but it just wasn't working for me. For those unaware, they are actual canon characters from the comics, specifically GOTG's "100th Anniversary issue." They would be even cuter if they were baby raccoons but I went with their appearance from the source material. I did have to create personalities for them though since they are basically indistinguishable.

Uno, Duo, and Trey were the youngest of those living aboard The Milano. Triplets, brothers, three-of-a-kind. They were small and roughly humanoid in shape, about as tall as Rocket's shoulder. Their skin was the same color as Gamora's. Heads oblong, with a small crest of fins near the back of the skull, hairless except for having a striped fluffy tail just like Rocket's. The three were identical, save Duo's penchant for wearing goggles, but the fur-covered cyborg could always tell them apart.

It was the end of a long day. Uno was the most social of the triplets, and had spent time hanging out with Groot, Quill, and Drax at the Xandar Mall. All of the siblings were intelligent and understood technology easily, but it was Duo's passion. Like most days, he had been learning from Rocket. The older ringtail couldn't help but be proud when Duo hacked into the ship's system. Trey was a bit more withdrawn than his brothers, and he spent the day relaxing with Gamora.

Rocket had collected the siblings and walked them to their room to put them to bed.

"Tell us a story, dad!" Uno said as he lightly tugged on his father's arm.

Trey nodded in agreement. "Yeah, a bedtime story!"

"We won't go to sleep til you do," Duo stated.

Rocket sighed, placed his hands on his hips, and wore a slight frown. "How many times do I hafta tell you, I'm your uncle. Uncle." He insisted on being their uncle, but somehow they instinctively knew he was really their dad. Despite his constant attempts to go out of his way to seem dismissive of them, it was clear to everyone he loved his sons deeply.

The brothers also had a pretty good idea as to who their mother was. Neither Rocket nor Gamora were the type for public displays of affection, but their relationship had the tone of an open secret regardless. She had agreed to the charade of hiding the children's parentage for practical reasons. There was no shortage of enemies in their line of work, and if word got out that two of the Guardians of the Galaxy had offspring, they would easily become targets. By claiming them as distant nephews, that danger was greatly reduced.

"How about the time Groot and I broke out of the prison on Devin-9?" the cyborg offered.

Uno sat on the edge of his bed and dangled his feet. "You always tell that one. We wanna hear a new one."

Quill entered the room after overhearing this, and thus devised a brilliant plan to entertain the kids. The Terran had told the team a number of legends from his planet. They would all pitch in, telling a fairytale from Earth with their own spin on it.

The whole group sat in a circle on the floor. Uno sat in Drax's lap, Duo and Rocket were on Groot, and Trey was in Gamora's lap.

Peter began first. "There was a boy named Peter Pan, who never grew up. He lived in a place called Neverland, and the people there didn't age."

"Oooh, I wanna go!" Trey said with a smile as he bounced with excitement in Gamora's lap. "Where is it?"

"Second star to the right, straight on til morning," answered the Terran.

"Hang on," Rocket interrupted while shaking his head. "Those have to be the most vague, moronic directions I've heard in my entire life. To the right of what? Morning on what system or timescale? And wouldn't departure time be a factor?"

Quill groaned. "Just let me tell the story, okay? So even though Pan had a bunch of friends, he had one mortal enemy. Captain Hook, a Centaurian pirate with a hook for a hand." Peter scowled and formed his hand in the shape of a hook, brandishing the hand in a dramatic fashion. "He was a grownup, he didn't come to Neverland until he was already an adult. Pan had cut Hook's hand off and fed it to a crocodile."

Trey gasped.

"A what?" Duo asked.

"Uh, it's a scaly animal with lots of teeth," Peter replied.

Trey tilted his head. "Why did Pan do that?"

"Basically Pan used to be part of his crew, but got fed up with how the Captain treated him," the man continued. "So one night, Pan visits three kids about your age and takes them back to Neverland with him because they want to be kids forever."

The raccoon rolled his eyes. "This story better get real good, real fast, or your storytelling privileges are revoked."

"Come on, Rocket, the story's for them, not for you," Peter said. "Besides, I don't hear Drax or Gamora complaining."

The tattooed mountain turned his attention to Quill."I was not listening."

"I am waiting for my turn to tell the best story of all," the woman boasted calmly.

Uno let out an exaggerated yawn. "Da- I mean, Uncle Rocket's right, this is kinda boring."

Duo and Trey remained silent, but Duo had taken to scampering about on Groot's limbs.

"I am Groot!" the tree said cheerfully.

"Okay, geez." Peter rubbed the back of his head. "After an epic sword fight, Pan and the kids tricked Hook into looking for some fake treasure. Instead of finding the treasure chest, the Captain found the crocodile that ate his hand. Neither of them were seen or heard from again. The three kids decided they did want to grow up after all, and Pan took them home."

"My turn." Rocket said as he climbed up to stand on Groot's shoulder, taking far too much enjoyment from having the high ground for once. Duo climbed down to the tree's knee. "What Quill didn't tell ya is that Pan left Neverland and grew up, but only physically. He was still an immature idiot. Pan thought he was god's gift ta women, but he actually had no idea what he was doing. In order to get with the local beautiful princess, he needed the help of Coon-In-Boots." This elicited a loud groan from Peter.

Rocket continued, gesturing a bit with his hands as he spoke. "Coon-In-Boots was a legendary outlaw, the bravest and bestest shot in the land. He also had a cute button nose and whiskers to die for." He winked and pulled on one of his whiskers.

"And you were yelling at me for drawing it out? Get on with it," Quill insisted.

The cyborg let out a whine. "Fine, fine. They stole a bunch of crap to make Pan look like royalty. Coon found an abandoned palace that some Skrull was living in. No, twelve Skrulls. The shapeshifters changed into people Coon used to know. He was surrounded."

"What'd he do?" Uno asked.

"It was lookin' like all hope was lost." Rocket leaned into the circle, relishing the suspense. "The monsters had the upper hand, but they underestimated Coon. He murd-" Gamora gave him a warning glare. "By showing off how skilled he was at shooting, he forcefully convinced them all to go away and never come back. They pretended that it was Pan's palace, and they paid off the locals to corroborate the story. The king offered Peter his daughter's hand in marriage."

"But the princess had other ideas," Gamora cut him off, starting her part of the tale. Rocket opened his mouth to protest, but he thought better of it. "The king was a cruel tyrant. She wanted nothing more than to flee the kingdom. Marrying Peter would just shackle them to the corrupt throne. The princess made a deal with Coon and Pan. If Coon could cause a distraction during the wedding and get them out of the kingdom, and Pan would accept not marrying her, the riches in the royal vault would be theirs to split three ways." With Gamora's soft voice as she gently stroked Trey's head, one would never have suspected that this was the same woman that murdered a whole platoon of Badoon a day prior. In self-defense, of course.

Groot crossed his arms and pouted. "I am Groot."

Gamora continued. "Coon devised a plan. He planted magic beans the night before the wedding, and in the middle of the ceremony they grew into a massive tree being. The tree was impervious to the royal guard, and he single-handedly laid waste to the castle. The trio and the tree, along with a brute that had broken out of the dungeon, escaped in the ensuing chaos with their riches."

"And the princess awarded Coon with a kiss for coming up with such a brilliant plan," Rocket added.

"I am Groot."

The kids and Rocket listened intently to what the others could only hear as countless utterances of "I am Groot." It must have been a good story, judging by the emotions on their faces. Rocket laughed a few times, though it was still his obviously fake laugh. By the end of Groot's story, Trey was sound asleep.

Drax picked up Uno and stood. "It is time for the little ones to get to bed."

Uno yawned. "Aren't you gonna tell a story Mr. Drax?"

"The story I have planned is grand and lengthy." He replied. "I shall tell it tomorrow. Sleep well young ones."

The kids were put into their beds. Drax, Peter, and Groot said goodnight as they left the room. Once they were gone, Gamora kissed each of the boys on the forehead as Rocket tucked them in. She playfully ruffled the fur on Rocket's head as she passed him, leaving the bedroom.

"Dad?" Trey whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Did they live happily ever after?"

Rocket smiled. "Yeah, they did."