"I hurt you and I'm sorry. Please,...Just please wait for me to come home, Merlin." I replayed the answering machine three times and it was my fault. I should've been there for him when he had a heart attack. I walked into our room and sat down on the bed; I sigh into my hands. "Merlin...Merlin im so sorry….Please get better" I look into the drawer into my nightstand and found a heart locket that I gave to Merlin at sixteen.
"Hey Merlin, can you come here for a second please?" I asked innocent and saw Merlin rolled his eyes and did his his grumpy-tried-straight-face and it's nighttime and it's snowing.
"Arthur?" he asked when he put his hands on his hips.
"Yes,Merlin?" I asked innocent.
"When you say, 'Please', that means you're in trouble by me, or that you had a fight with your father and want to stay with me, or a fight with Morgana. So which is it?"
How did he know me so well….I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me under a light post. "Did it ever occurred to you that i want to surprise you, idiot?" I said and saw he was going to protest but i shushed him with my finger on his lips. "Merlin don't. I have something for you." I took out a small box and opened it and he was surprised and smiled. "Merlin, my dear idiot, It's a locket and yes I know, it's cheesy and a girly thing for both of us but It has a picture of me in it and I want it close to your heart and soul, and..I….Iloveyou."I said blushing a little and by surprise what I saw will always be in my memory forever. His stormy-blue eyes were wide in happiness and love that I smiled tenderly; and a second later, I was kissed but quickly kissed back and we smiled.
We leaned our foreheads together and had his hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder and my hands around his waist. "And I love you, my dear clotpole."
I laughed lightly and smiled, "Is that even a word, Merlin? Or did you just made that up?"
"Oh it's definitely in the vocabulary."
"Oh? Then give me the definition." I asked, "In three words?" "Yes." I nodded, and he smirked with mischief, "Arthur James Penndragon." I laughed.
"You know, did i ever tell you how much I love you?" I asked.
"Yes." And we both smiled and we kissed.
I smiled at the memory and can't believe we were together at the age fifteen and now. I heard the door open and closed that my heart was thumping loud and running footsteps from stairs and then hallway and my name calling, it was morgana!
I stood up, still holding the necklace and put it in my pocket and saw Morgana, looking worn out, and stressed. I stood up and saw her eyes wild and looking around the room while heaving out breaths and she looked at me, "A..Arthur, he...he's dy..dying… He's dying,Arthur…" I saw she was crying again with red puffy eyes if I look closely. Then i grabbed my jacket and keys and ran out the door and heard Morgana following me.
The car ride felt a millennium longer till we got to the hospital. I got out and ran inside, not waiting for anything and heard Morgana talk to the nurse who was trying to stop me but i ignored it. I stopped in front of the door and tried to calm myself but couldn't and ran in, while opening the door.
I saw he was on life support and i tried to keep my tears in. He looked at me like he was in pain but smiled happily but pained. I tried to smile but only a grimace but nothing the less, sat down on the chair and grabbed his and squeezed them.
"Hey.." He whispered and his eyes shown happiness. "You look like you've fought a dragon and lost." he chuckled to himself.
I didn't answer.
He stopped chuckling when he didn't hear a reply. "Arthur.."
"Your dying." I mumbled flatly.
"...What?" He looked puzzled but not shocked.
"I said, you're dying, Merlin." I said again and couldn't stop my tears now. I squeezed his hand harder and harder but i didn't hear him complain; and I cried more and more and it wouldn't stop.
I felt him sooth my head and hair like he always does when I'm upset. I bend down my head to his hand and we squeezed each other hands. "Don't...please don't leave...don't leave me...please please don't leave me alone….not ever." I begged, I would do anything, for you to get better, Merlin. If there is such thing as a flower that can cure you, I would get it for you.
"Shh..don't cry,love. I know it's...not easy but one day...one day you'll feel better, and find someone, someone to love, and have children with, grow old with and other things. Not sickly like me, with a weak heart." I shook my head in denial.
"No," I said flatly, and stared at him in the eye. "No. No, I might love,but no people will ever take your place. Ever. Your only for me and I'm for you, and that's that." Once I made up my mind, i can never go back. "I won't take any lovers and I'll always love you."
I saw Merlin shaking his head and sigh, "Fine but..do me at least a promise, Arthur?" He asks. I nodded and prepared to hear what he says. "Arthur," He looked at me and I smiled, "When I'm gone, be happy, please?" he asks, and when I didn't answer, "Arthur, promise me?" he said in that tone of voice that I couldn't say no too.
I nodded but it was a lie. He sigh, "You're stubborn like your father..or more like a mule. Oh how i dealt with you for twenty-five years. You're such a liar, Arthur. Wouldn't let me rest in a couple of hours, would you?" He said in a tired voice.
"No, no i wouldn't." and we both smiled. "Scoot over, you lazy toss." and he scuffed but nothing the less scoot over and laid next to him. My hand went into the pocket and I pulled out the necklace and tied it around his neck. He look surprised but smiled and laid his head on my shoulder and I on his head. "So I could be close to your heart and soul and to let you know that I'm always with you forever."
He looked at me and smiled happily by his kind eyes with love and kind smile by his pale, lovable lips. "Cheesy, but sweet." And he had to ruin the moment. "And I love you forever, Arthur." I look at him and I felt sadden and tears coming down silently and I kissed him hard and he moaned. But then I pulled back.
"And I, love you,Merlin." and I kissed him gently. We laid there for a while but then Morgana came in all messed up with red puffy eyes, make up smeared, hair everywhere, heels clacking heavy in the floor and shirt untucked and she sat on the chair where i sat before but on the other side of me.
She grabbed his hand, shakily and squeezed it. "Don't leave….please?" Her eyes were watering and this is the first time i saw her devastated and cry so much and it broke my heart to see my own sister be like this and I bet i look the same. "Merlin..please get..better...don't leave us. I wouldn't know what to d..do." She smeared her make-up more trying not to cry again.
I look at Merlin and saw him soften a lot more and he to rubbed her head and hair like he did to me to sooth. "Penndragons. I don't know what to do with you too, really." He said. "But...Morgana...You know I can't, right? I know I'm dying and the doctors tried everything. No Morgana, listen they tried even your guys's father tried but...it didn't work out. You're My best friend and I love you." She smiled sadly and I, and merlin scoot over for Morgana to lay with us. She laid down and kissed merlin on forehead and lips as best close friends and she laid down her head on Merlin's shoulder and chest. Her hands close around our hands and we cried silently together.
Then I saw Merlin cry silently and I wiped them away with my other hand and sooth him like he did to me. Morgana hugged tightly buried her head into Merlin.
"It's..It's time...thank you for everything. Being there after I had no one left." sniff, "I love you heart and soul Arthur and I love you Morgana as a sister and best friend...I couldn't ask for anything to spend with more than..you two…..thank..you..loves…" and he was gone.
I cried and screamed with Morgana who couldn't let go. I kissed his cold lips trying to see if he'll wake up like in the fairy tale...but it didn't work out. Morgana screamed and hugged me hard and we fell to the ground while the nurses silently cried while covering his body over the sheet and walked away to give us siblings privacy and I heard them say, 'I'm sorry'
"He...he can't be gone...nonono I..I don't want to lose him, Arthur! WHY!? DAMN YOU, GOD! I..I loved him...I loved him as a brother, best friend….. he was taken from us...I..i loved him...Arthur.." She cried on the ground and I squeezed her and buried my head against her chest.
"Morgana...I..I lost him...I lost him...I love him so very much...I want him back...I want him back...Please I'll do anything...just bring him back to me, to us. Merlin...oh my idiot...don't leave me...I...I can't be happy without him." I felt Morgana rub my hair and tear drops onto me. "I don't want...him to go...i want him back...I...I want to see him laugh, smile,angry sadness, grins not a death one...I can't cope with him gon..e." and the last thing I saw was sister saying sorry.
One year later….(No one's POV)
Arthur stood there with Morgana at the cemetery. Morgana putting 'Forget Me Nots' and red roses mix to the ground.
"You know, Morgana," Arthur spoke up silently crying, "I..I still can't cope with him."
Morgana looked at her brother and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and rested her forehead on top of her hand and silently crying. "I...I know...I can't either. I lost him like you did but not as a lover but...a brother and best friend….loved him."
He nodded and was shaking and took out his necklace and opened it. "You know, He asked me find someone else to be happy with, have children, and grow old with them but I couldn't do it. And when I said no, he asked to be Happy instead and I...I agreed...but he knew I was lying to him." He looked at Morgana, "He knew I was lying to him but still loved me the same like always." He clutched the necklace, "But..but i can't. I can't be happy without him, 'gana."
When she saw the gun she knew, right there, what he was going to do. She too,wanted to do that too, but had no courage to do it but she also wanted to do it with him and she made up her mind, she too, would kill herself. She lost so much, Her real parents, Hunith, Uther, Merlin, Her husband three months later after they got married of the same year. and now her brother, and if she lived she would cope and become insane.
Arthur and Morgana looked at each other, and they both knew they would do it together. Morgan kissed Arthur's cheek and said, "Do what you need to do" and they both cried again silently but smiled. Arthur nodded took out the gun and pointed it at his temple of his head and clutching in his other hand a locket. He whispered, "Finally." and shot himself.
Morgana caught her brother and knelt down to lay him down in front of Merlin's grave stone and cried but couldn't stop. She kissed her dead brother's forehead. To her, no one she loves is alive anymore. She picked up the gun and checked to see if there is another bullet left and there was. She pointed the gun to her temple, and closed her eyes. and smiled at what she saw. She fell to the ground next to her brother on the front of the grave. And they both had a relaxed smile on their faces.