This is my first EVER story for Sonny with a Chance, and Chad is supposed to be a bit … out of character. But I wonder if there's not more to Chad sometimes, so I painted him a little deeper than he appears to be… Don't hate me… I don't really know when this is supposed to take place, somewhere after With A Chance of Dating.. enjoy.

Suffocation

It was just another day on the Condor Studios lot. Two raised voices could be heard. One of a girl, and one of a boy…

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"So we're good?"

"Oh, we are so good."

Chad glared at her, but he could barely deny the chemistry that he felt… his body had somehow moved instinctively closer to hers. She looked up at him for a moment, and a slight small smile crossed her lips. His breath caught in his throat, and he quickly hid his sudden elation underneath a scowl and walked away. He checked his phone almost compulsively, hoping for a brief moment that she had texted him… he snapped his phone shut. His heart beat was fast, and his head felt like it had squeezed into a whole in which it did not fit. He decided that he needed a walk.

He growled unhappily, ever since she and her stupid Sonny-ness had waltzed into his life, she had been growing on him. He knew he was in trouble the moment he saw her. The way the sunlight caught her brown hair, and the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled. Even though she was wearing that ridiculous Madge costume, she had still been attractive.

She was not attractive in the normal Hollywood girl way either. Most Hollywood girls found him charming, but Sonny, she had a fire, a spark of independence. She could give back whatever he gave like a fierce tiger. But her sonny personality was sweet enough that it could make one positively sick to the stomach. And he wanted to understand how that was even possible. That was the next warning sign, his curiosity. He wanted to get to know her, not just because she was pretty, but because, for the first time in his life he met someone who didn't automatically want him. This made her a subject which must be studied. He was careful at first to not let it to get to the point where his curiosity was more than healthy. It started with innocent observations of her personality from afar, but slowly as time passed he would catch himself watching her play with her hair, or biting her nails when she thought no one was looking. It was like hearing a whispered secret in a corner, and it was thrilling.

When he took her hand in his own, the warmth of her skin made him feel slightly elated and when he looked into her swarm chocolate eyes and he found himself, entranced. Or when she came to convince him to play musical chairs and her willingness to act like a complete idiot was somehow strangely attractive. He knew then that he was developing a crush on the loser from chuckle city, and he knew he had to stop it.

But it only had got worse from there, for instance when she had written a fan letter to himself, and as she explained how she was going to embarrass herself on stage, his heart beat quickened, and his stomach dropped. And he realized then, he cared about the stupid little no body from stupid little Wisconsin! He cared! Chad Dylan Cooper cared! Of course, he could not let anyone else know; because it would be the biggest thing since Bragelina if anyone found out that the bad boy of Hollywood cared about someone.

He covered his tracks however, by trying to avoid thinking about Sonny for a while, but fate it seemed had dealt him a cruel hand. Because he would often find himself looking at her from across the Cafeteria, or picking up a pen she dropped, or taking the long way back to set just so he could possibly bump into Sonny. Santiago hadn't been too far off. It was then that he knew he hadn't succeeded in stopping his feelings for Sonny. In fact, he hadn't even really tried. He recalled when he told her they should hang out, and the way she smiled…

Gah, stupid cute!

He now had a huge soft spot for the stupid brown haired girl. She could make him feel emotions he thought had long been buried beneath his cold icy exterior. He was too cool to get jealous but she made him jealous just by looking at another guy.

He was hypnotized, and he wanted nothing more than to run his hands through her long stupid brown hair softly kiss her lips and whisper the things he had been unable to stop thinking. Even when they were fighting, something inside of him was on fire, she had lit a desire in him that was impossible to quench. He had tried dating a few other girls, but somehow or other lately Sonny kept creeping into his mind. Before he knew it, he found himself COMPARING other girls to her.

He sighed deeply, all this thinking was making his brain hurt. He smiled at himself at the mirror trying to think about something shallow and frivolous. Like his own reflection. Just then, as by some cruel twist of fate, he walked by the So Random billboard, and his heart felt like it was being squeezed by a boa constrictor. He felt like he was drowning, he couldn't breathe…He darted into the bathroom, feeling like he was going to puke…

He had to say it, to save himself from the suffocation that was closing in upon his heart. He spoke the words that could no longer wait.

"I'm in love with Sonny."

He looked in a mirror; his face was white and covered with sweat. This would be the end of him, Sonny would ruin him… she would surely suffocate him. If this 'love' felt like, it would surely kill him. Why were people crazy about love? Who would want to feel like this? Like they had a hit a dead end and there was nowhere to hide from their impending and certain doom. All the things that they made love look like on T.V. was nothing like this. No one had ever described it as an obtrusive feeling that would show up with no regard to how it might make Chad look or how it might make him, he gulped, change. No one had described it as feeling trapped. And the worst thing was that he liked it! He was glowing at the thought of her, glowing at the thought of having her slender body wrapped in his warm embrace. It was a death sentence to his image, and he knew it. And worse yet, he was supposed to hate her! And she hated him.

He sighed and buried his head in his hands on the bathroom sink.

"I'm in love with Sonny."

And no one could ever know.

-x-

I'm sorry it's short; it's just something sort of sweet and sour that I came up with sitting in class today.