KALADIN WAS NAKED?!

Or about to be, anyway.

He stood in monstrously handsome near nakedness next to a gigantic bathtub that was sloshing around heaps of water in it to make a foamy coating of bubbles. The whole room was made out of windows so the light came streaming in and hit the bubbles in a marvellous way, making the light go through them and turning them sort of pink and making the room a bubble wonderland.

The brief silence was broken by a small voice.

"Kaladin, I can only become weapons for you to deal out righteous justice with, you know that."

"A massage chair can be a weapon if you use it right!" Kaladin countered with a very disarming and convincing sexy-hot face.

"Haha, Kaladin you're so funny- but more importantly, handsome! I don't know if daddy would like me being a massage chair; it's not very professional, you know?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm all about being professional and morally pure and righteous, yeah, I forgot for a second." Kaladin said with glumness induced by not getting a massage from the girl he SECRETLY LIKED!

"Well, the bath looks ready, so…. I'll just… hop in…."

Syl looked a bit expectant and so did Kaladin, but they were both expecting different things and were consequently confused by this motionless pause.

"What?" Syl finally asked after Kaladin had this weird uncomfortable coughing fit.

"Cover your eyes!" he exclaimed. Kaladin's embarrassment was all at once released like these words were a dam wall that had dropped and the blood rushed to his face making his blue eyes stand out like DAMN.

"First of all, why? And second of all I am transparent, Kaladin: if I cover my eyes with my hands I can see through them and thirdly I like your butt. Twirl for me!"

Kaladin was so shocked by this revelation that he collapsed into the bath with his pants on anyway! Shrouded in the thick bubbles Kaladin quickly took off his slacks and threw them out of the tub where they slopped to the floor with a loud, wet noise. Kaladin was a wide-eyed red face in a nest of pink bubbles.

"You…. You like my butt?" Kaladin stammered in awe.

"Me and the rest of the world, but mostly me, yes." Syl declared brashly as she resized and floated over to the bath. "Here let me wash your hair for you."

Kaladin was virtually incapable of coherent speech as she ran her human sized hands through his thick hair. Wait, ran her hands through his hair? He started and turned his head and shoulders around to look at her behind him, covering his chest with his arms shyly. She tilted her head in a very cute way, but that didn't distract him from what he was looking for.

"Syl, you look more solid than usual! What's going on?"

It was all a bit much for him so his voice came in a series of choked, emotional sobs.

"Well, I just used the loophole that you conveniently discovered. Would you call an assassin a weapon?" Syl questioned as she straightened his shoulders and resumed washing his hair.

"Yes," he whimpered.

"Exactly, so-" her sentence was cut off by a loud, booming voice like thunder, lightning and howling wind… Like a highstorm.

"SYLPHRENA, I'VE COME TO VISIT!" The Stormfather bellowed, his presence banging through the doors of the bath quarters.

Syl had time only to regretfully mutter "oh no" before the Stormfather made his way into the windowed room. Emotions were sloshing around in Kaladin's head like lukewarm bathwater- too many for him to cope with. He unwittingly started open-mouthed crying and moving his hands around listlessly, intermittently wailing things like "I don't know what's going on", "my pants are wet and they're on the floor so now when I get out of the bath I have to put on wet pants" and "I want to make out with a metaphysical concept I'm so confused ".

The Stormfather's murderous expression was softened by confusion as he watched the blubbering mess of a well-respected, heavily muscled soldier sob nonsense in the bath. After a moment, he turned his severe eyes back to his rebellious daughter. In his eyes she saw all the fury, strength and confusion of noise of a highstorm. She zipped back to her normal miniature size and took her semi-transparent form to sit on her fathers extended hand.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MOST PRECIOUS OF DAUGHTERS?" He enquired with tight lips. "WHY ARE YOU IN THE BATH WITH THIS FEROCIOUSLY HANDSOME MAN WHOM I DESPISE?"

Kaladin had been reduced to incoherent blubbering. Syl had to think fast and she knew it.

"Look how much he needs me, daddy! He's a mess!" she cried. Kaladin looked up with lambs eyes and an accidental beard of pink froth on his upper lip and quivering chin.

"Then he is not fit for such a beloved daughter and therefore not fit to be a Storm Runner!" the Stormfather countered. Syl decided to try another tactic.

"Daddy, you can't tell me what to do anymore! I'm on the human plane now; you're not in charge of me! Ugh! You make me so mad that I might never come HOME! YOU ALMOST MAKE ME WANT TO SAY THE 'H' WORD!" she exploded. The Stormfather looked taken aback and also incensed. Sensing the rising tension and feeling his hair stand on end because of the electricity generated by the Stormfather's rage, Kaladin started hyperventilating stormlight, becoming a panicking beacon of white light in a pink, bubbly heaven.

He stood up suddenly, mantled in a layer of foam like a clingy, unorthodox bathrobe.

"STORMFATHER," he said, his voice breaking. "THE BATH IS LOVELY WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US? I'LL CALL AN ATTENDANT FOR TEA, YES? YES." He woodenly stepped out of the bath and walked with locked knees to find a servant for refreshments. Syl watched him leave with her mouth hanging open at his boldness and sudden lack of concern about being naked.

"Well, that was a lovely invitation. Do join us, daddy." She said as evenly as she could, resizing and seating herself in the bath. The Stormfather looked grouchy, but he folded his bulk into the bath, leaving a small space for Kaladin who had returned, perilously close to bubble-less, with a tea service. He wheeled it next to the rim and hopped back into the bath to serve.

You can imagine what happened from here, I'm sure. After an initial awkwardness where everyone looked deeply into their tea cups and made halting conversation, they all came to the same page and learned to make easy conversation with each other, bonding in leaps and bounds.

Maybe, after a few more baths, the Stormfather won't be so repulsed by the thought of Kaladin, who in turn may be able to deal with his emotions without being at risk of vomiting? I suppose we'll see!