Disclaimer: No beavers were harmed during the making of this story. Also, we all know Stephanie owns the Twilight characters, I just like to play with them from time to time.

AN: Firstly, I just want to say thank you to those who've taken a look at my other story, Hell is Living Without You. I'm still writing that one for those who are interested. The ideas are there, I'm just having a hard time putting the words down. I'll be writing both of these stories with a stronger committment now, as some time as freed up in the immediate future! Go Me!

Now to this story: I'm a canadian, and though I'm sure there are some out there, I haven't read any (feel free to recommend some!) Canada based stories. So this is mainly just a fun story from a northern's point of view ;). Don't worry, no one is living in igloos eating seal blubber! Haha...

This story will mostly be in Bella's point of view, however you'll see that we'll catch very necessary glimpses from some of our other lovely character's points of view as well. I have to say though, writing from Emmett's point of view is highly amusing!

'FALLING IN LOVE WITH BEAVERS'

WARNING: There's lots of swearing, TONS. This story is rated M for a reason. For the young readers: this is where the whole "Do as I say, Not as I Do" lesson comes it, I can't stop you. Just don't repeat any of this to your parents. Also there will be plenty of citrus in the future, and lots of dirty referrences.

There's lots of out of character moments, but that makes the moments you recognize that much more special. :) Emmett, Take it from the top!

*~* NOT BORN TO RUN *~*

EmPOV

I'm not gonna puke, I'm not gonna puke, I'm not gonna puke… Oh fuck, I am gonna puke!

I glance up from my hunched over position, still trying to catch my breath to see Edward glaring at me.

"Fuck sakes Emmett, I told you we'd get recognized!" Edward growled, his eyes darting around like a mad man in search of the mob that was currently chasing us down. I roll my eyes at him, then squeeze them shut again as I feel another wave of nausea hit me again. This always happens when I run, I'm not a runner.

"Geez Ed! Cut a guy some slack! I just thought that being in a new country, we could get away with things we can't at home! I just wanted to see an 'effin movie!"

"That's all fine and dandy Emmett, but you kinda draw attention to yourself when get up in the middle of the movie for a snack! And you know I hate being called Ed!" Edward was already recovered from our mile long race, and even had enough energy to make quotation marks with his hands when he said 'snack'.

"What's wrong with my choice in snack?" I huffed….and puffed.

"You mean besides the fact that 90% of the population would probably find it repulsive?"

We were walking now, with absolutely no clue where we were or where we're going. Trying damn sure to stay unnoticed again.

" Hey! Topping popcorn with nacho cheese and hot fudge sauce is the perfect combo of sweet and salty!" Edward just looked at me like I told him I fucked goats for bus fair and walked. Eddie's nasty glare was interrupted by a large scream.

"OVER THERE!" In synchronized fashion Eddie and I both looked behind us to find the source of the screaming – even though we both knew it was that damn hormone crazed mob again. Aw Fuck! Shit! Damn! I got to run yet again? Ed grabbed me by my shoulder and we dashed around a corner.

Running as fast as we could, we were bobbing and weaving through the downtown streets of Vancouver, desperately trying to lose these crazy chickies who were currently hunting us down to rape us. At least, that's what Edward was saying.

After what seemed like forever, my legs and lungs couldn't take it anymore. I glanced around and couldn't see the girls, but I knew they weren't far. Their "I love you!" cries could still be heard.

"Ed man, I can't do this anymore! I feel like I'm dying here!" I barely wheezed out, Edward said nothing but nodded in understanding. We both looked around for a solution, any solution. I did NOT want to die being gang raped by horny teeny boppers and their vampire obsessed moms.

Edward pointed to a shop that looked like it was being renovated, the sign said closed but there was a woman painting something on the large window. The sign overhead said "Books & Beans". The lady painting was dressed in paint covered jogging pants and equally covered t-shirt.

I caught on to Edward's plan. We ran across the alleyway we were currently ducked in, and made a beeline for the shop across the street. The voices of the mob were getting louder so we didn't have much time.

Edward quickly knocked on the glass door, scaring the shit out of the paint covered book lady. After recovering, she mouthed "Sorry, we're closed".

"PLEASE!" We both nearly screamed. Christ, I'm not used to this kind of terrifying excitement. I feel like I'm going to piss my pants. The book lady set down her paintbrush and came to unlock the door.

"Hallelujah!" I cried, almost feeling the need to do a celebration jig.

"Sorry Gentlemen, but we're not opened right now. We're jus-" The book lady began looking sorry, but still not letting us in. Edward cut her off.

"Sorry to bother you m'am, I'm not usually this crude; but you could please just let us in? I promise to explain ourselves fully. Just please, PLEASE let us in."

The lady seemed to consider us forever, but then thank the fucking heavens; she stepped aside and let us in!

"Sweet baby Jesus! Thank you lady! You have no idea how much I love you right now!" I cried with joy and picked the tiny lady up and hugged her to me, forgetting she was covered in a rainbow of paint.

"Em!" Edward hollered at me, while thwacking me on my right ear – which wasn't very necessary might I add! Nonetheless, I loosened my hold on the now statue-stiff paint covered book lady. Boy, I sure hope her birth name is less complicated than that mouthful.

"Sorry boo- Imean – m'am" I felt kinda sheepish almost letting slip my nickname for this unknown beauty. Yes, Emmett McCarty has a thing for nerdies. And this booky was textbook nerdie with a side sweet sexiness. After all, usually the nerdier they are, the kinkier they are in bed!

Beautiful-rainbow-book-lady of my heart relaxed a little and reached a hand up to her face to move the stray bown lock of hair that had fallen lose from her ponytail (giddy-up!) and push it back out of her face.

"Right well, an explanation as to why I am hiding two hoodlums would be really great right about now. And sorry for the paint, but you kinda caught me off guard there." She gestured to my once grey tee which is now covered in yellow, blue and green splotches. I shrugged, and ripped my shirt off – when in Rome right?

She gaped, Edward scoffed. Hey! Nobody wants to wear a dirty wet shirt – and well it was my only chance to show up Mr. Romeo – he always gets the chicks, being the lead actor and shit!

Once Beautiful-rainbow-kinky-booky woke herself out from my sexy-body induced coma, she put her hands on her curvy little hips. Damn! I bet she's a feisty one!

"Well?" she pushed

"Well…" We hesitated.

BPOV

'You're rich girl, and it's gone too far cause you know it don't matter anyway'

The sounds of my personalized ringtone – signaling my best friend Rose was calling, dragged me out of my bed. I answered the phone just before it could go to voicemail.

"Rose, we're just freaking painting. If you're calling me to scrutinize how I'll be dressing today, save it. I refuse to wear painted on jeans just to, well… paint! You know what I'm saying?"

Rose's response was a sniffle followed by what sounded like a horse barking into the phone.

"Bella…" Damn it!

"Aw Rose, I told you not to go out last night with Alice. You were already wearing yourself thin, you diseased thing."

"Haw haw. Alice needed me as her wingchick on her blind date. I didn't even drink last night, and I was home way before last call."

"Well I hope she's taking care of you today, there's no way I'm letting you come in all contagious and shit."

"Ahhh fuck you"

"Fuck you, feel better"

"Thanks baby, don't work too hard"

"Yeah, yeah… just make sure you do everything in your power to get better. Grand opening, is in t-minus 15 days." Rose's response was a great big "achoo!" Revolted, I hung up and decided it was time to greet the day.

15 minutes later, I was showered and in clean sweats and a baggy t-shirt with my hair tied up. I'm going to miss the days when showing up for work consists of getting up when I feel like it and hardly dressing myself. C'est la vie!

I made my way downstairs to my newly purchased shop and soon to be my new coffee and book store. I was so excited to begin this journey, both loves of my life caffeine and books and they'll be earning me coin to boot! Plus it didn't hurt to live directly above work. No more work commute, I'm an aggressive drive...though not as bad as Alice mind you.

The shop wasn't huge, but it was quite large with very rustic accents. All the walls were a dark red exposed brick, with well maintained old hardwood floors. It had cozy charm. After having a couple fireplaces installed, and a drink counter; we were slowly making our way to Opening Day. The shop was separated into two sections: In the front there was the drink station, a few antique mismatched tables and chairs and the cash register, while the back held the majority of our book selection and a cozy sitting lounge complete with two of the fireplaces and an assortment of darkly coloured couches, chairs and lounges.

All that was needed was some painting, and once it's all dry; stocking the books and coffee station as well as hanging a few prints given to me from a secret local artist.

I turned on the one coffee brewer we had set up during the last few weeks of remodeling and decorating, and then went and hit play on the stereo system that played throughout the store. It was a collection of old records I had found when I bought the shop that I had converted to digital. Everything from Ella Fitzgerald and Fats Domino to Queen and Pearl Jam. I secretly loved the randomness of it , and nothing beats the warm crackling and popping sounds only a record can give you. It played gently in the background as I sang loudly along.

I decided with Rose sick, I'm glad for the solitude. I'll call her after lunch though to check up on her, no doubt Ali will be there feeling guilty and trying to help Rose recover. That's the way we sisters work.

Rose and I have been best friends since before we were born I think. Both our mothers attended the same high school, college, and even lived on the same block – they were tied at the hip. When Renee left me and my dad when I was twelve and moved to the States, Valerie followed. Only, unlike me; Rose didn't have a father in her life so Rose moved too.

It only took nine months convincing Charlie and both our mothers to let Rose move back up north and live with Charlie and me, and another couple months to make it happen. By the time I was starting High School, Rose and I were as inseparable as Renee and Valerie.

Funny thing is, unlike Renee and Valerie, Rose and I never became lovers. Hah! So Rose and I really are sisters…in an unofficial manner.

It wasn't until a few years later, and a spiked volleyball to my nose; that Alice came into the picture. After the blood was cleaned up, and she apologized profusely trying to give me a makeover as payback ( I don't know who was the one who did wrong in that situation, but someone I was the one who suffered!) Alice joined twosome and we became a ménage-a-trois. Hehehe

Now the three of us were all independently succeeding in life, all while still being besties. Alice had her vintage clothing store, Rose did freelance photography (and a little painting, but don't tell anyone!) as well as helping out with my baby. And my baby was this very room I was standing in.

I was painting little whimsical designs and coffee & book related words on the large picture window that was facing the street, when I heard a loud knocking sound on shopfront door; scaring the beejeebus outta me. I looked up to find the two most sexiest, sweatiest and most….petrified?... men I've ever seen in my life. One man; totally Rose's type, was a giant with a body overflow of muscles and who had short brown or almost black hair. The other man; the one more my type although both did crazy things to my libido; was almost as tall but a bit leaner and had this crazy red-brown bronze mop of hair that seemed to have a personality of it's own. I wanted to pull on it and see if he growled.

I tried to mouth that we weren't open, but apparently in order to be sexy, you have to sacrifice brains. So I went to the door to verbally achieve what apparently obvious signs and signals do not.

Unfortunately, sex-hair interrupted me before I could get a complete sentence out.

"Sorry to bother you m'am, I'm not usually this crude; but you could please just let us in? I promise to explain ourselves fully. Just please, PLEASE let us in." His voice wrapped around me like a cozy blanket of warm caramel. It sent tingles to my ladybits.

I debated for a moment, trying to decide if

one: these guys were going to rape me,

two: if I'm going to rape them, and

three: did it really matter who raped who?

The giant bear of a guy was hopping from one foot to another and it looked like the dance little kids do when they have to potty. What the heck, I decide to let them in. After all, I am a bit curious to hear their explanation.

Before I step fully back to let them in, I'm accosted by the giant and he practically squeezes the stuffing out of me. My feet are dangling in the air like I'm eight years old for heaven's sake, I feel pathetic.

"Sweet baby Jesus! Thank you lady! You have no idea how much I love you right now!" Wow maybe this guy had to pee real bad? When sex-hair reprimands him and he sets me down, its' then that I remember I'm covered in paint; because now the giant is also covered in paint.

The giant blurts out a completely unintelligible sentence and then just smiles. After demanding their explanation and apologizing for the giant's shirt – to which he just takes off Gahh! What sweet, sweet, torture! They both seem reluctant to answer my question and now I'm wondering what the heck I got myself into.

"Well?"

"Well…." They both drag out, neither one expanding beyond that.

"What the fuck is going on?" I try to look menacing, because although I'm not opposed to being sexed up by these crooks, I certainly don't want to get robbed or worse! Yes I know, I am a sad and depraved crazy woman. But hey, no one wants to be an old spinster with a thousand cats.

"Again I do apologize, but I can assure you that whatever it is you think we came in here for, you're mistaken." Sex-hair says soothingly.

Well, dang!

"I beg your pardon?" Both sexy beasts are looking at me like I just sprung antlers and a third boob. Shit!

Did I just say that out loud? Can they hear me?

When I re-focused on them, I was equally as shocked to see them still with that look, slowly nodding their heads. Changing the subject now before I get tossed into the looney bin…

"Okay, then how about you tell me why I'm hiding you then?" I needed some space from these guys before my panties burst into flames, so I walk back to the coffee machine and pour another cup. I notice both their eyes are trained on my coffee mug with a look of longing. Whew! If that's how they look at a beverage they desire, imagine when….. no, step away from that thought right now Bella! So I pour an extra two steaming mugs and bring them on a tray with cream and sugar. I invite them in a silent gesture to sit at one of the tables.

"I can't thank you enough Miss…."

"Bella. Just Bella is fine." Sex-hair nods and gives me a gentle smile. The giant is repeating my name to the tune of the Cha –Cha. What is with this guy?

"Bella it is then. Well I am Edward Cullen, and this brute with me is -" and before Edward could tell me the giant's name, the giant himself interrupted.

"Emmett MCarty, but you can call me anything you want with those sweet lips of yours." This Emmett guy waggles his eyebrows in what I think was his attempt to be suave, but instead catches me off guard and before I could catch myself, I end up spitting hot coffee all over Emmett's bare chest.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" Mortified , I get up and run to the counter to something to clean him up with, because let's be honest; I don't think he'd be down for me licking the coffee off right now. I find some semi clean rags, and rush back staring at the floor due to my humiliation.

When I finally do regain some of my composure, I chance a look at them to see them both shaking with silent laughter.

"Uhh, here." And I toss the rags to Emmett, who laughs out loud now.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You both are actors, famous ones on top of that; who were being chased by a crazed mob of fans and you want to hide out here, in my yet to be opened store?"

This has got to be the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard. After Emmett and Edward both settled down, and Emmett had fashioned himself some sort of toga styled shirt out of one of the rags, Edward finally began to explain who they were, well so I thought until this bull came out.

" I know this sounds far fetched – believe me I hear how ridiculous it sounds and I'm the one saying it. But I'm telling you, it's the honest to goodness truth!" Edward began pulling out his wallet to show me his driver's license.

Well okay, his name is Edward Cullen and his address says California; but that doesn't mean he's a legitimate actor. It looked like Emmett was going to try to take over explaining; which probably would have only further my reasons to doubt them anyways, when I heard the back door to the shop open and close.

"Bella! I just came from Rose's and I figured that I owed you one to come help you – oh!" Alice entered the room and stopped short when she saw me with the guys and just stood there with her mouth open.

" Damn! Canadian women sure are small!" Emmett exclaimed, earning another reprimanding from Edward and a snort from me. This guy was something else, maybe not an actor but surely he could be a comedian.

"Umm Alice, this is uhh…"

"Edward Cullen and Emmett McCarty, I know! The two hot vampires from that Sundown movie!" Alice squealed and then began hopping up and down. Both guys looked ready to bolt again and – wait did she just say from the Sundown movie? Fuck! They are actors! And not just any actors, two of the hottest actors out on the scene now. This is what happens when you devote your life to your work for a long stretch of time, you miss everything else!

"Don't worry guys, Alice isn't a crazed fan who's going to molest you," but I might, I thought "She's just naturally an overly hyper person." I got up and did my best attempt at nonchalance and quietly ushered Alice into my tiny office off the backroom.

"Holy fucking shit Bella! Explain, and please do not skip any dirty details!"

Well since sadly there were no dirty detail; well unless you count Emmett and the paint, and Emmett and the coffee, I gave her the twenty second scoop. She nodded eagerly and hung on to every word. Needless to say, she seemed a little disappointed by the time I was done.

"That's it?"

"That's it" I confirmed.

"Well shoot! Wait! How come Emmett's in a toga of dirty rags? Where did his shirt go Bella?"

"It got dirty." I shrugged. Alice rolled her eyes, and the smirked.

"That Edward seems to have his eyes on you." Alice and her crazy idealistic dreams. After planning to meet up with her and Rose later, I pushed her out the door to find Edward perusing our books in the back room. Emmett was probably still in the front drinking his third or fourth cup of coffee by now. Edward spun around at the sound of entrance and smiled gently at us.

"Well Bella," Alice looked pointedly at me. " I forgot I had a lady coming in to see some of the new shipments I just received, so I'll see you later tonight. Nice meeting you Edward." Edward nodded and she giggled before skipping out the door.

"Alice seems…. energetic"

"Yeah, that's a nice way of putting it." I nodded toward the book in his hands. "What did you find?"

"Oh, it's Gulliver's Travels." He shrugged and then placed it back on the shelf.

"Is that a book that interests you?" Another shrug.

"I don't think I've read that book since I was very young." I nodded, and a comfortable silence settled between the two of us.

"Bel-" Edward had opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by what sounded like someone choking really loudly.

"Emmett." We both walked towards the offending noise, and there was Emmett one foot on his chair, and the other on the table singing along to what I think was Daughter by Pearl Jam, but I couldn't be sure because Eddie Vedder was being overpowered by whatever strange sounds were coming out of Emmett's mouth.

"Don't Call Me Daughterrrrrrrrr, Not fit to
The picture kept will remiiiiiIIInd me"

Then he seemed to go into an air-guitar solo, of his own tune no less. Only stopping when he finally realized that Edward and I were both back in the room, and Edward was currently capturing this moment on his phone.

"Oh. Hey guys!"

AN: So! What Do you think? Anyone catch Emmett' channeling Kellan with the "No Running" comment? Or am I the only one obsessed enough to know he doesn't like to run? Hmm... Reviews = Chapters! xoxoxo