He hates it when Shinra decides to sedate him to operate on him after another bloody fight with another gang that want to beat him for a reason he can't remember. The drug sends always sends him into a dreams where he recalls the wrong he's done and how much he wishes he didn't have his cursed strength. But this dream is weirder than any other, different from any he's had before.
The sun is setting over the park Shizuo used to play in with his brother during their childhood, he knows this dream is going to be set in the past because the park was abolished to make room for a supermarket in his freshman year of Rajin High School. Shizuo see his younger self sitting glum on top of the climbing apparatus – his favourite place to sit in the park. Somehow his legs move by themselves towards the apparatus and himself, he doesn't want to confront his younger self and tries to stop the movement however failing and legs still moving forward. Soon the infamous 'fighting doll' is standing beside the climbing frame, he knows that the brunette is aware of his presence yet ignores him.
Awestruck, Shizuo can only ask what he's thinking, "where's your brother?"
His younger self turns around to face the strange man,"how do you know I have a brother?"
Shizuo smirked to himself, he never knew that he was ever that careful when he was a child.
"I'm a friend of you father's. He's showed me you and your brother's photos," he lied through his teeth.
"Really?" the child's voice was coated in disbelieve.
"Yes, really." Shizuo gave him a friendly smile
"What's your name then?"
"Err..." he thought of the first false name that popped up in his mind. "Hanejima, Yuuhei Hanejima."
His younger self gave him a suspicious look. "Eh huh," he mumbled.
"You sound like you don't believe me," Shizuo gave him a wary smile.
"That's because you're lying, mister."
Straight forward, just the way Shizuo likes people. He doesn't get mad, he only nods his head in agreement, "I know, I'm a awful liar. Not like Kasuka."
Young Shizuo replies, but says something that Shizuo never expected to hear...
"You're me, aren't you, mister?"
"What? I-I don't understand what you're saying." The older Shizuo found himself covered in cold sweat and his heart pounding violently in in chest.
The brunette jumped off from the apparatus and turned standing in front of Shizuo.
"You're me," he said defiantly.
"I'm not sure what you're on about, kiddo." Shizuo attempted to evade the subject.
"I can tell, you're me. Stop lying, you hate it when people lie to you, so you shouldn't lie to them."
Oh God, he knows, Shizuo thought to himself, how does he? We're not that bright. Am I really that transparent?
As if young Shizuo could read his mind, he answers his thoughts.
"I know because you're me. You said that you can't lie like Kasuka, only someone close to him would know about that. And 'Hanejima Yuuhei' is Kasuka's fake name, he only uses it when he acts to himself. Only me and my parents know that he pretends to be 'Yuuhei'. So that mean that you're either me, 'Tou-san or Kasuka. Kasuka or 'Tou-san would never change their hair that colour and you're hair's kinda like mine."
"You're right. I'm you and you are me. 'Cept I'm fourteen years older and from the future," Shizuo finally admitted looking slightly guilty.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead." He said his tone going back to how it was before and his friendly aura coming back albeit he kept his distance from himself.
"Does it ever get better? You know, being different" he paused "strong..."
Shizuo watched as a tear brewed and fell from one of his eyes. Quickly, he knelt down and grasped the child in his arms being careful to give his younger self now crying on his shoulder a firm but gentle hug. Unsure of what to say, he just holds him stroking his brown hair and hushing him as he calms down.
Shizuo hears one last sentence from the boy before he wakes up.
"I don't want to be a monster."