So cold.
"They were saying on the news that this is the coldest day in the last 30 years!"
"Even with the sun shining, it hasn't warmed up one bit! Horrible time to be homeless."
He didn't need to look up from the bench he had collapsed into to know that the two women rushing by had glanced his way. He also knew that they weren't going to stop to see if he was okay. His "The End is Nigh" sign usually kept people away. And he preferred it that way.
His head slumped down a little more as his eyes slowly closed. He was so tired. He had been out every night for at least a week, but hadn't been able to find any leads on his latest case. He broke more fingers and snapped more wrists that he could recall, but nothing. He spent his days walking around with his sign. He tried to avoid his apartment. The landlady was getting on his case again about the rent. He couldn't remember the last time he slept, or ate. The growl in his stomach told him that it had been a long time.
Wake up, fool! Since when did you get so weak? So soft?
He had no answer. Lack of food, sleep, and warmth made his brain function sluggishly. He knew the voice was right. He couldn't sleep out here. But he was so cold he couldn't move. The green suit did little to keep him warm. And the fingerless gloves didn't help either. His hands were so numb he couldn't even tell if he was still holding his sign. The voice said, get up! His brain said, sleep.
"Hey, buddy!" His body jerked at the familiar voice. Daniel. He felt a small bit of panic. Had Daniel discovered his disguise? He struggled to bring his head up and look at Daniel. There was a smile on his face, but no sign of recognition. He slowly looked Daniel over. Even in a heavy winter coat, he could tell his former partner had gained some weight. "You can't stay out here. Come on, I'll take you to a shelter."
"Got a place," he said, quietly. He hoped that his voice was soft enough to keep Daniel from recognizing it.
Daniel fidgeted with the collar of his coat. "Oh, yes, well." He regarded Daniel while the man stood awkwardly silent. It had been two years since they parted ways. He had seen Daniel from time to time. Watched over him on the nights he went to see his old mentor. But this was the first time they had spoken, even if Daniel didn't realize that.
"Well," Daniel said. "You look like you haven't eaten in a while. There's a place nearby. How about I buy you some coffee and something to eat? It'll also get you out of the cold for a little while."
He knew he should turn Daniel down. Knew that being with him too long risked exposure. But he needed food, warmth, and rest. And this way, he'd at least get the first two. He nodded. Daniel smiled and held out his hand, but he rejected it. Instead, he used his sign (hurm, it was still in his hands) to help himself to his feet.
It was only when he went to take a step that he faltered and nearly fell. A hand under his elbow kept him on his feet. He hadn't realized that his feet had gone numb as well. Daniel looked at him in shock. "You are freezing cold! How long have you been out here?" He shrugged. "Well, good thing I found you when I did!"
Daniel held his elbow as they walked. At least until his feet thawed out enough for him to walk unassisted. The place they went to was a place he knew well. Gunga Diner. He liked this place. The seats were low enough that his feet could actually reach the ground. The two people behind the counter smiled and greeted them as they walked in the door. Aware of how he smelled, Daniel steered him toward a back table. "Two coffees," he told the waitress.
Daniel handed him a menu and accidentally brushed his fingers. "Your hands are so cold!" Without a thought, he grabbed his hands cradling them between his own. "Hopefully they haven't gotten frostbite. You really should wear more clothing when you're out in this weather!"
He stared at Daniel, while the man babbled on. His body was tense. He hated physical contact, but he couldn't seem to get his hands to obey. He wanted to pull them away, but it was as if they had a mind of their own. As if they liked the warmth that was slowly seeping in. He lowered his eyes to keep Daniel from seeing how uncomfortable he was.
"Ah, here. You can wrap them around this now," Daniel said, when the coffee arrived. He wrapped his hands around the mug, feeling a little less tense. "Do you want any cream?" He shook his head. "Sugar?"
He looked at the sugar holder, the little green packages looked so inviting. He resisted the urge to take one and pop it in his mouth. But he knew that'd be a dead giveaway. But there was nothing wrong with putting sugar in his coffee. "Three," he said quietly. He watched as Daniel unwrapped three cubes and dropped them in the mug. Before he could remove his hands from the mug, Daniel took a spoon and stirred the coffee for him. He pulled away, pushing his back up against the seat, his head down. This was started to feel weird.
When the waitress returned Daniel ordered two of the same thing from the menu. After the waitress left, he said, "oh, I hope you don't mind me ordering for you. If you want something else, I'll call her back over."
"It's fine. Eat anything." He began to straighten and curl his fingers around the mug, trying to ease the stiffness out of them. The heat from the mug was helping to warm his hands. He still didn't raise his head. He didn't want to make eye contact with Daniel, so he kept his eyes on the mug he held.
Daniel chuckled. "You don't talk much, do you? Used to know someone like that."
He felt himself tense up. It was strange to hear someone talk about you, to you. He took a drink of coffee to try to calm down. He could feel it warming him up. His brain seemed to be less sluggish. He could think a little more clearly.
"Friend?"
Daniel laughed. "He was a man I knew absolutely nothing about. Not even his real name. He only went by a nickname. Most people wouldn't call that a friend." Daniel took a drink of coffee. He smiled and added, "but I did." He sighed. "I just wish he would have trusted me. I trusted him completely. We had each other's backs. But he never trusted me."
Not true, Daniel. I trusted you more than anyone. I trusted you with my life. Just not with me. You would have walked away much sooner if you knew the real me. Knew how weak I was. I just couldn't risk that.
The waitress brought their food and refilled their coffees. He was able to put in his own sugar this time. Daniel continued his narrative. "We were friends for about ten years, but then we went our separate ways. I haven't seen him since then. It's been a couple of years now."
This was odd, but fascinating. He didn't know that Daniel would be so talkative about him to a complete stranger. Not that he was a complete stranger, but that was beside the point. He looked up. "What happened?"
Daniel gave him a strange look, making his realize that he had used his normal voice. Damn! But then he shook his head and answered, "difference of opinions. We simply couldn't agree, and he was never one to compromise." Not even in the face of Armageddon.
"Miss him?" The words were out of his mouth before he even realized that he wanted to ask. Fool!
"Yes. Not every day, but I do miss him sometimes. He was rude, opinionated, violent, and stunk to the high heavens, but he was a honest man. Yes, he hid his true self, but he didn't lie." He took a few bites of his hot sandwich before continuing. "And sometimes I miss seeing him in my kitchen, eating my food, drinking my coffee, stealing my sugar cubes. Never saw another person eat sugar cubes." He chuckled again. "And the bastard never thanked me. Not once. But I didn't mind. I was happy that he saw my home as a safe place." Daniel stopped and stared at him. "I'm sorry, I must be boring you. I'm kinda surprised that I've talked so much about him. I don't normally do that."
"S'okay." He popped the last of the sandwich into his mouth. They both finished their coffees and Daniel went to pay for the meals.
He picked up his sign and they exited the diner. "Well, thanks for listening to me reminisce. And try to stay warm." He nodded. They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments, before he added, "well, bye. Have a good day."
He turned and walked away. Over his shoulder he heard a quiet, "thank you, Daniel." It took a few moments before the words registered. "Wait! Did I tell you my name?" He turned, but the man with the sign was already gone. He ran a hand through his hair, muttering, "yeah. I guess I did."