Truly summary: He knows something's changed and its cause. Something has broken and it'll be him who makes her understand it isn't needed anymore. He knows that in his eyes she'll find the perfect reflexion, without barriers and boundaries she'll be able to feel and see herself better through them.
This is a Two-Shot. Here I bring the first chapter, I hope you understand, enjoy and comment ... IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO SO!
I know that some parts may be complex or tangled, but I assure you, even if I digress much as I write, everything I write makes sense, regardless that it is not clear.
I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR THEIR STORIES; THEY BELONG TO DC COMICS AND ITS CREATORS. I DO THIS JUST FOR FUN AND NOT FOR COMMERCIAL REASONS
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Chapter 1: Reasons and Decisions
Robin's POV
I missed the normal days, simple and ordinary days, with one-two villains lurking money and gold bullions. I was already comfortable with that monotonous routine; Cyborg and Beast Boy fighting for nonsense stuff, Starfire trying to calm them, and occasionally cooking something to commemorate the end of another dispute, and to mention not her innocent attempts to attach to this planet, I training, researching new and old villains, obsessed with finding out their next moves before they were executed, leaving my life at the indirect service of people who want to destroy the world and everything I've fought for, Raven...Raven, on the other hand, was the real issue of this all. It's strange to admit that such days may be needed. But a change was inevitable, although it was only generated in me, and that the actual causative doesn't notice.
Yes, it was her, in fact it was me. The new eyes with which I had begun to look at her, the way I referred to her, even if it was only in thoughts, the iced coffee cup in my hand near to my mouth, but still full of liquid, due to the excessive time that I had happened eyeing askance at her.
Acting in my logical and accurate detective role, I had deduced that was absurd the possibility that I was falling in love. Because if it was so, should be at least one reason to justify my new feelings for her, in the case there were any. So where it seemed I had already solved the problem, the damn contradiction appeared.
There were many more reasons than just one.
Starting with a hidden admiration I had for her; she was a heroine, one who did not seek glory or fame, one who wouldn't blink if she had to give her life to allow others enjoy their own. A heroine who shouldn't be it, despite that, she had fought against her own evil and world's. Yes, she was wicked, she had to, but deep down, and ironically, she was the purest goodness and solidarity. She was a demon's daughter and the victim of the consequences which that entailed, –not only the fact of being the earth's destruction, but wanting not to be it–. To prevent the suffering of the people, she had inflicted it to herself. She had been suppressing her emotions until the maximum during her whole lifetime, what kind of childhood may has she had? However, day by day, she sacrificed everything for a world to continue being green, dancing at the birds' and waves' song, walking and stumbling, getting up to look at the blue sky. I would consider impossible that there's even a single person in all the earth that don't admire and value that.
To continue, she was the only person in the group with whom I had understood so well. Of course, they all were great people and heroes, but she was different, she hid behind a mask too, although it wasn't made of fabric. It's for that reason, that only she can understand me better. Sure, Cyborg had hidden as well, but that was past. Of Beast Boy, I kinda doubted that he'd take something serious, although I do not doubt he knows when he must stop laughing. Starfire was just a child in a toy store; everything was so new to her, so fascinating. I don't like the idea of knowing that all I could do would be more than good for her. Besides, she needed someone who was like her, who could be so naive and so strong at the same time, not someone who serves as a guide or salesperson in that store, but someone who was at her side while they roamed it all. And that someone was not me.
Raven, however, could see the flaws and qualities at the same time in a awesome way. We shared the fascination for work, but not the obsession. She could easily distinguish between things that were good, and which exceeded the limit. What other way could she save me from myself?
That's the why of another reason, because of the understanding that existed between the two of us; we had become close friends, even before our mental loop. I knew well when something perturbed her, and likewise, she knew well when something was wrong with me. We were the first to get up, while we waited for the others, we had plenty of time to talk. Time which we even shared stuff like books, jokes, opinions, secrets in… Or perhaps time in which I stopped to look at her in detail. How can someone so beautiful be so misunderstood?
How many other reasons can I describe, denying, more and more accurately, with each one my stupid assertion of how absurd would be that I'd be falling in love with her. However, it was, after all, what would make more sense. After deducting this, there was another big question: what to do?
It was possible that I could be rejected, as I could also be corresponded. Perhaps this had been being cultivated in secret for some time; her smiles when she was at my side could state that. But nothing was certain, moreover, I didn't know if it was okay to do something about it either. I feared her rejection, not because she didn't feel the same, but because it was not right. She could use my own repertoire arguments against me, like relations between the group were wrong, which could affect its proper functioning, that we could endanger our lives and those of our colleagues, that what would people say ...
I didn't want to think about it for now. But I was really being attacked by huge desire of going to her room and steal from her thousands of kisses, though one would be enough. Ambitious, right?. It was those kind of outbursts that I had what made me somehow miss those quiet days, days which were full of thoughts and fantasies about her, days when I was with her without blushing, at least, not much. Although it was those outbursts also what made smile at my innocence, what made me feel so good, that reminded me that apart of being a teenager, I'm a person. A person who was in love.
It was clear, no matter how it happened, what consequences would it bring, what things could start to flourish and what others end of wilting, in my mind echoed the words "In love". And it was more than obvious that better days would come, days that had to become quiet and normal, but complex and fascinating as well. Days that I could begin to miss even before living them. Days with her grateful company.
As clear as the above laid happy in my fantasies, there was the fact that it was a future, therefore, it could be modified by present's actions and become into another one, a better one or one we'd not want to live. I mean, if I wanted to be with Raven, Raven would have to want to be with me, which wasn't confirmed yet. And it wouldn't if I did not do something about it.
Behold the new dilemma. I was torn between the choice of telling her fearing that something else than objects and furniture were broken, or shut fearing to drown in frustration due to me.
"I guess I'll have to use all the hope is left to me," I said aloud, trying to cheer me up. I was lying on my bed, embraced by the shadows and lulled by the waves. I had stopped to think back on it, it was inevitable not to, so I preferred to do it where no one noticing that I was away. In the course of my wanderings, I had closed my eyes and focused most of my energy trying to keep them that way.
I opened my eyes suddenly, hearing a distant noise, the sound of something breaking. It sounded like some kind of glass ... I guess they have broken something trying in vain to wash the slab, one of these days we'd have to eat on the hands, I thought.
I stayed quit, expecting if I heard the noise again, but nothing happened. Silence fell again on the Titans Tower, fortunately. With the calm silence of the night, I got my breath and strength to stand up and fix this once and for all. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, I thought, and let out the air again. My blue eyes after the white cloth discovered the darkness of my room again when I opened them. I had all the intention to move, to get out and walk there, but for reasons beyond my knowledge, my body did not react, I was standing still, a few meters from the slide, looking at any particular point. Was I afraid? The great Robin, afraid to face who he'd already realized was his greatest opponent?
Yes, it was difficult.
I blinked excessively, and start breathing again. I turned to look myself in the mirror in a strange impulse; I arranged my hair and dress, smiled nervously at my reflection and finally got out of the small, dark room it had become.
I walked slowly down the short hallway leading to her room, rehearsing what I would say, how I'd do it, assessing her possible answers and my own after hearing hers, setting every detail for a perfect and memorable scene. Too bad that as soon as I read her name on the steel door, I forgot it all only by stop and admire how great it sounded when I read it in my mind.
RAVEN
I lifted my fingers and outlined gently the N at the end, then I closed my hand and knocked her door. Nothing. I frowned and turned to knock once again.
"What?" I heard she asked reluctantly.
"I need to talk to you" I said, but she didn't opened the door.
"I can not. Go" She said once again in her typical monotone voice
"Rae...it's important ..."
Oh, no. I was starting to get nervous. The door slid a bit, revealing her pale face and that beautiful amethyst eye. I opened my mouth to start talking, but as soon as I noticed something about her that was not usual, I kept quiet. And when I spoke again, I did so to ask what happened.
"Nothing, nothing's wrong with me, Robin, I'd like to be alone, so please…"
No matter what she might say, I grabbed the door's outside and I opened it completely. With no invitation to pass, I entered into the dark room under the gaze that she now had. I turned to face her eyes with mine, and we lasted a few minutes like that. Then she sighed, she had resigned to force me out of her room, her false gestures didn't work on me anymore.
"Come in" She finally said sarcastically, walking slowly, back to me.
Like any good detective would do, if he couldn't with the subject, he focuses on the environment and analyzes it. I scanned the room with my ayes, and occasionally observed her in the eye, in an inquisitive way, hoping her to decide telling me something, but all I got was that stupid and false coldness. I was sure something was going on, I could see it in her aura, everything she emanated was confusion, frustration, despair, and more. Something I couldn't define too well, it was becoming stronger, being directly responsible for the increase of negative emotions, and ironically becoming more and more distant, which for some strange reason, I was deeply hurt by.*
This situation was already getting me angry and what infuriated me more was the fact that the apparent confidence that we had wasn't visible in the shadows of her face. Although there was a possibility that it was all because of her damned, typical desires of self-sacrifice, so to speak. Because of that stupid need and relief she felt at hiding, especially from me, transcendental things after the pathetic excuse of wanting to protect us, knowing well that she achieved the opposite effect. Just like now, I had no idea of what might happen, but of how to find it out, and incidentally, to clarify things in my mind.
I sighed, tired of the looks and gestures' game. I approached her and stopped feet away and I cocked my head slightly, to give the emphasis my next question needed. A defiant tone.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" I required totally serious, accompanying my voice with my frown.
"What is there to say?" She deftly answered. These, among other things, were what made me love her even more, her great skill. In any case, I also had one; other reason that united us. How similar could we be?
"You might start with telling me what's wrong," I asked softening my voice, focusing it so to my need of letting her know that I cared about her more than she could imagine, and I also needed to help with anything. It worked. Something into the amethyst eyes of such beauty softened as she lowered her head and looked down.
I took it as a signal. Slowly, I turned my gaze around us. There was nothing on the floor, indeed, it was extremely clean. However, I noticed something on the table with the huge mirror next to me. The furniture was distinctly gothic, of a dark wood tone, and with a large ruby stone adorning its highest point. It was full with the basic things, unlike other women, who keep a lot of menjurges, makeup, brushes of every size and color, all kinds of lotions, and so on, stuff and stuff. She didn't need nothing to be beautiful, nothing to attract my attention or any other man's, nothing to dim the moon; when was this one itself which harmoniously bathed her with its rays, nothing to take away any person's breath who look at the brightness of such beautiful precious stones she had by eyes. I shook my head at the fact I had immersed in thoughts I thought I'd never have had for someone; distracting me from the current situation, forgetting the boudoir and the broken hand mirror which was lying on it.
The broken mirror.
I remembered that mirror. Apart from the basic information Cyborg and Beast Boy had given me, was Raven who told me what it was. A portal to her mind, and what it meant. Suddenly everything was making sense, the simple sight deductions swirled in my head and the only way I could get out of doubts and finally know what was going on, was asking her. Although that wasn't the question which the problem was around. The real question, or statement, would open many doors, one that would give more direct access to my feelings for her, and the idea of a future relationship. For now, we should start from the beginning.
"Why is it broken?"
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* 1: I guess ya'll have already deducted what that mysterious emotion or feeling is. Oui, chére, it's dat what we feel...
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