Oh. My. Gawd.
a fanfic by Chauncey Chu
Author's Notes: Hey. Enjoying the summer? I sure am. Not. I don't think the title fits that well but I'll go with it. This is a fic to uh...commemorate...can't think of a simpler word...to...to celebrate summer. It's kinda late, but better late than never, right? Anyhoo, here's a Yuffentine. Enjoy.
Chapter 1: Shirtless, A New Fashion Statement
"Why is it so freakin' hot?!"
"Because it's summer, Yuffs," Tifa answered matter-of-factly. She filled a glass with water and ice and slid it across the countertop to the ninja. Sitting on a bar stool, Yuffie caught the glass with no such effort and quickly chugged down the liquid. She slammed the glass down and turned her head to the right to glare at an electric fan sitting idly on the floor.
"It's all your fault!" she screamed at the broken appliance. The electric fan had malfunctioned and turned into a useless heap of technological crap. It seemed to give up, retiring from its job of fighting against the heat. The air-conditioner was no different from the fan.
Yuffie performed a facedesk. "It's so freakin' hot!"
"Stop complaining," Tifa suggested, "and do something about it." She handed Yuffie a small fan, though it was rejected promptly. Both females immediately turned their heads and watched as a shirtless gunman slowly descended down the stairs. The man strode past them, also appearing to be a victim of the absurd temperature. Vincent would not take off his clothing, unless it was really, really, really hot, hotter than a fried Jenova on a stick.
Tifa slammed her open hand on the countertop. Yuffie jumped and turned around. "What?"
Tifa's lips turned to the side. "You were staring."
"No, I wasn't."
"Yes, you were. It was so obvious."
"Pssh, whatever." Yuffie dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand as she spun back around on her barstool. She had to hide the shade of hot pink in her cheeks away from Tifa. An hour of teasing would ensue if she were to catch even a glimpse of it.
"Maybe he's the reason why you feel so hot."
Yuffie bounced back so fast that Tifa didn't even blink. "What did you say?!"
"Nothing," she said, smiling innocently yet not so innocently. Yuffie noticed that Tifa seemed to be looking somewhere else, ignoring her flaring glare. "A glass of water, Vincent?" the barmaid offered, now grinning at Yuffie. Yuffie whirled in her seat instinctively. Vincent's chiseled chest came face to face with her as she spun around. Her jaw dropped as she stared at it for several, awkward seconds. She traced the ivory skin up to his neck, then to his face. Two crimson orbs were looking down at her, bearing a fixed message of questioning pointed at her.
"H-Heya V-Vinnie," Yuffie tripped over her own tongue, her throat clogged and constricted.
He gave her a nod then looked up at Tifa. "Yes, please."
Tifa handed the glass over to Yuffie and gestured her to give it to Vincent. Gritting her teeth and glaring at Tifa, Yuffie took it and gave it to Vincent, pitting herself again into a long duration of staring. His chest slowly rose then sank in ceaseless repetition, his throat shifting up and down as he drank the refreshing cold water. Some of the liquid dripped from Vincent's lips. Yuffie found herself tracing it with her eyes as it ran down his neck, down to his chest.
"Thank you," Vincent told Tifa in his usual monotone. Yuffie stopped ogling, surprised by his voice. Smiling at Yuffie, Tifa took the glass and went to wash it, leaving the two behind. Yuffie instantly experienced goosebumps when Vincent was kind enough to take the barstool beside her. She gulped nervously and avoided looking at him. She saw Tifa smiling at her from the sink. Yuffie mouthed her a curse. In an attempt to forget the fact that the stoic man sitting beside her was exposed and was positioned far too close to her, Yuffie tried to start a conversation with him. Alas, she failed miserably. Before she could even speak a single word, she would end up staring at his toned muscles. Yuffie thanked Leviathan he didn't notice.
"What's Cloud taking so long?" Yuffie thought. Cloud was appointed to buy a new electric fan that morning. Yuffie glanced at the clock. It was already one in the afternoon. And it was getting even hotter. She mentally slapped herself when her eyes transferred from the clock to Vincent without her consent.
"Traffic," Vincent simply said. He was resting his arms on the countertop with a straight back, facing the opposite direction.
Yuffie snapped her head to the right to face the speaker. "Oops. Did I say that out loud?"
He nodded. "He said he would be back around four."
Eyes flickering from abs to face to chest then to abs again, Yuffie struggled to keep her eyes on his face. "How did you-"
Vincent held out his PHS. "This."
A small grin crept under Yuffie's lips at seeing the device. Before, Vincent never used it or a cellphone. Ever since the fall of Deepground, he had improved a lot. He wasn't completely the socially-retarded vampire she once knew anymore. He also spoke and smiled, smirked rather, more often. They always made her heart jump, no matter how faint they were.
"Argh. I can't take it anymore!" she yelled helplessly. She spun on her barstool and mimicked Vincent's pose. He shifted, somewhat annoyed. "It's so hot!" Yuffie shouted for the nth time.
Vincent nodded. "Indeed."
"Is there anything we can do to stop this torture? I don't wanna get heat stroke."
"Let's take a bath."
Flushing, Yuffie did the fastest double-take in the whole history of man. "W-What?" Her mind was then filled with unsolicited images of a steamy shower and two people. She mentally exploded when she realized how dirty her mind was.
"It's a good way to lower our body temperature."
Yuffie, pulled back to reality, buried her face into her hands. One more look at Vincent and she was sure she'd break and do something stupid, something that she would eventually regret. "Ghhhd."
Vincent only heard muffled noises. "Pardon?"
"Ghhhd."
He leaned closer to her, trying his best to hear her words. "Hmm?"
"I said-" At that moment, Yuffie detached her face from her palms and turned her head to look at Vincent. His face was only inches from hers, his proximity scaring the hell out of her. She instantly leaned backward in reflex. The shift of weight on the barstool made it tilt. Yuffie fell backwards. In one fluid motion, Vincent dove and caught her just before she collided with the unforgiving floor. One hand was supporting her neck while the other was supporting her knees. Figuring out that it was now a safe time, Yuffie slowly peeked her eyes open. She was wrong. She stared again at his chest for Leviathan-knows-how-long.
"Yuffie, are you alright?"
Startled by his deep voice, Yuffie shot her head up at him. She nodded nervously prior to being placed back on her feet. Her cheeks were now flaring with a dark shade of red. Tifa rejoined them and winked at her when Vincent wasn't looking. The stoic gunman's PHS rang. Vincent nodded at the two females and went outside to find a more settling silence for a better conversation. Though it was scorching hot, Seventh Heaven was still crammed with people.
"How many times did you look?" Tifa asked the disgruntled ninja.
Yuffie planted her face on the countertop in humiliation. "More than Reno's hookers and Cid's cigarette butts combined."
"Who the hell said my name?"
Tifa and Yuffie looked at the door. Another comrade shuffled inside the bar. Tifa was having many visitors that day, though she wasn't quite certain if she should be happy or sad about it.
"How're the both of ya?" It was Cid.
"Dying," Yuffie supplied.
Cid patted his pockets for a cigarette box. He took one and lit it, puffing out rings of smoke into Yuffie's face. Covering her nose, Yuffie fanned the air of death away with her hand.
"Isn't there a goddamn air-conditioner in here?" Cid grumbled, glancing around.
"It broke this morning," Tifa said calmly, her tone apologetic.
Yuffie's eyes widened for a split second then her head turned away when Cid did what she and Tifa feared the most. Cid took off his shirt and whipped it on the floor.
"That's more like it." He took a long drag and sat on a stool near Seventh Heaven's exit, puffing his hairy chest out at the customers who passed by. The ones who glanced at it nearly vomited on the way out.
"I-I have to wash the glasses." Tifa fled from the disturbing sight in a hurry. "I-I'll help!" Yuffie added, skipping over to the sink.
"Did you look?" Tifa whispered a question to the young lady beside her as she opened the faucet.
"Eww! Hell no!"
Yuffie giggled while Tifa stifled her laughter.