The Water Fountain

by Dlbn

Yayoi wants to finally tell Yuiko something. But he's going to need a little help...

Dlbn: Hey, everyone. Welcome to another fanfic!

Nbld: Dedicated to our five-year anniversary!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING canon to Loveless. It all belongs to Yun Kouga. I'm just a lowly college student with crippling student debt and a giant ass collection of Legos. I make NO money off writing this fic in this category.

Inspiration: Song: The Water Fountain (nightcore version). Artist: Zero. Miz-kun. Original artist: Alec Benjamin

000

"Can't! Can't, can't, can't! Yuiko can't!"

Did she have to say can't so many times? A simple "no" or "I'm sorry but I can't" would have been enough. I guess I frightened her, huh? God, Yayoi, could you be any more awkward? Yuiko wouldn't go for a guy like me, even if I wasn't short, anyway. She likes more confident guys. Like Aoyagi. Yeah, he's cute, but like a girly kind of cute. Not that that's a bad thing, but I just can't see them together, you know what I mean? But when he says they're not together or dating or anything, she seems so…so sad. But he's short, too! She said she can't date me because I'm shorter than her. With my ears, I'm an inch or so taller than Aoyagi, but she likes him!

I don't know why I'm knocking on the door to Aoyagi's apartment. I want to talk to Yuiko, not him. But he's probably the right person to talk to about this. She would understand to a degree, but Aoyagi would understand more, I'd think.

A man with yellow-orange hair answers the door. His father?

"Yes?" The man asks.

"Um, I hope I have the right place." I stutter, fiddling with the end of my sweater. "I-Is Ritsuka-kun here?"

"Yeah, you're a friend?" The man smiles. "Akira."

"I'm Yayoi."

"Oh, I've heard about you, but we've never officially met. Come on in."

"Arigato." I follow him in.

It's a small, modest apartment. There's a living room the moment you walk in, a kitchen separated by a counter top next to that. There's a hallway on the other side. It's sparsely decorated, like the owners don't need much. If it's just Ritsuka-kun and his father here, that's no surprise.

"Yo, Ritsuka!" The man shouts down the hall. "Yayoi's here for you."

"Be right out, Akira!" Ritsuka-kun calls back.

Okay, so they're not father and son, clearly. Step father maybe? Ritsuka appears down the hallway, clad only in fuzzy pj bottoms and a dark robe with fur.

"Hey, Yayoi." He greets. "My room's this way. Come on."

"Thanks." I bow to Akira before following him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you." I state. "Is that your dad?"

"No." Ritsuka laughs. "That's the guy that dropped me off at school a month or so ago. Yuiko asked if he was my father, too."

"So who is he?"

"Kio's boyfriend Akira. You remember Kio? Soubi's friend? Green hair?"

"The one that met us in Yokohama with Soubi-san?"

"Yeah, that's him. You guys rode in the wagon together."

"I remember."

"Good." Ritsuka motions for me to sit, and I do.

His room doesn't have much in it either. His backpack is in one corner, leaning on a table with a chair. There's no computer, but his 3DS lies open on the nightstand, and his PlayStation 2 is plugged into the TV mounted to the wall. He's got a few pictures up, and then there's a corkboard of special photographs over the bed. Most of them are him with Soubi-san, but there's one or two of Soubi-san on his own. One with Yuiko and I is plastered to a corner under a close-up of the Iriomote cat.

"How'd you get such a good picture?" I point to it.

"Soubi did. I don't know how, but he says when it comes to me, he can do anything I ask him to. I dared him and, well, that's what I got in return."

"He really does whatever you ask, doesn't he?"

There's a brief frown, but it's covered up with a lazy smile.

"Yeah, he does."

I'd kill to have someone look at me the way Aoyagi was now looking at the photo of Soubi waiting for him near the school. They really do care about one another, don't they? The same way I feel for…Yuiko! Right, why I'm here.

"So you just decided to drop by or…?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Sure."

"Um…it's about Y-Yuiko-chan. I…er…I…um…"

"Yeah…?" His ear twitches in curiosity.

I sigh. "You know how I feel about Yuiko-chan, don't pretend you don't…"

"Everyone but Yuiko knows how you feel about Yuiko." He jokes. "I mean, even Yoji and Natsuo figured it out, and their comprehension of human interaction and emotion is rather…I don't know, dumb?"

"You act like they're aliens or something."

"Or something is more like it."

He did know those two better than anyone else did, for some reason. They weren't really the type to let people in, but Ritsuka-kun and Soubi-san had managed to break through somehow. Well, Soubi-san was their cousin, so that wasn't too surprising. And Ritsuka was his…whatever they were. It was rather hard to believe they were anything less than a couple, though Ritsuka always insists they're not when anyone asks or jokes about it.

"Yeah, well…so you know. Last time I tried to let her know, I asked her to go out with me and…she kind of…"

"Freaked out?"

"She said can't like five times!" I shout, trying to calm down as my nails dig into my palms on my knees. "I don't get it…she said she can't be with anyone shorter than her, but she clearly likes you, and you're even shorter than me…"

"Just because of your ears." He rolls his eyes.

"Not the point…"

"I know." He folds his arms over his chest and leans back against his bed. "So, what do you want to ask? There's only so much I can say to her to get her to listen."

"I…I want to show her. I mean, I want to prove that I…I don't know. I just want her to know I really do like her…maybe she could give me a chance…? We've certainly gotten closer since you arrived."

"Because you were jealous of how close we were and wanted to be part of it."

"What? No, that's not…"

"Yayoi." He gives me a 'get real' look and laughs. "I can read people better than you think. Not that I mind or anything. I mean, we're friends and I like you and all." He shrugs one shoulder.

"Yeah, same to you." I blush.

"Not in that way, baka."

"Yeah, you only feel that way about Soubi-san."

"What? I-I don't. no, that wasn't what I was…I mean, I don't feel that, I mean, I…er…shut up…" He flushes as well and looks away. "Soubi and I are our business and nobody else's. When he comes back, we can straighten things out and put a label on it. But we're just friends."

"He'll do anything for you."

"So?"

"I'll do anything for Yuiko…" I mutter, looking at my knees.

"I see." He sighed. "Well, I'm aware of how Soubi feels. I just can't say for certain whether I feel the same. That's a discussion for him and me to have."

"I know." I nod. "So…can you help me?"

"Help you?"

"Win Yuiko-chan over…?"

He sighs, giving me a genuine smile for once. "I can do what I can, but I can't guarantee any results, let alone positive ones."

"Thank you…"

He nodded. "You're welcome." He stretches, showing off his muscles and something on his hip peeking over the top of his pants.

"You have a tattoo?"

"What?" He looks down and quickly pulls his robe shut around him. "No, that's something else. Don't worry about that. Sharpie."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay." He shrugs, as if he's used to people asking him these kind of things.

"If I may…why don't you live at home? You live with Soubi-san's friends?"

"Mother kicked me out." He shrugs. "On my fourteenth birthday. They took me in."

"Why would she do that?"

He sighs. "I can't explain. Just understand that I'm not who I used to be, and she couldn't handle that."

"People change as they get older."

"Not overnight." He rolls his eyes. "I was in an accident, fell into a coma, and when I woke up, everything was different; including myself. Mother just wasn't strong enough to handle it. Her mind and her personality were too weak. Caused by her childhood with my grandparents. That's what my therapist says, anyway."

"I see."

"Yeah. So, I live here. I was wandering around when they found me sitting on a bus stop bench and offered me a ride."

"You like it here?"

"Very much." He smiled. 'I can do what I want and eat what I want and say what I want without fear of getting a fork in my hand or a plate tossed at my head. They help me with my homework, and we play games and stuff sometimes. I don't like to get in their way, but they like having me here, I think. They take Tuesdays and Fridays for themselves for date nights, so I stay with Yoji and Natsuo overnight Fridays and just stay til they get me late on Tuesdays."

"You have a curfew?"

"Come home when the streetlights pop on, Kio says. Guess that was his curfew when he was a kid. I try to be home by six or seven, though, out of habit."

"That's great, though, that they give you free range like that."

He nods. "So much different than being back home."

"Why didn't your dad stop your mother form kicking you out?"

"I'm not even sure he knows." Ritsuka shrugs. "He hasn't been around a lot since Seimei died. Stopped coming home after I started school here."

"That sucks."

He shrugs. "It is what it is. We were never really that close, even before my coma. That's what Seimei said anyway. They despised one another."

"How can anyone despise their child?"

"I don't know. Ask my mother."

000

And that's how we ended up sitting at the water fountain in a secluded area of a park near Ritsuka's place Sunday night. Yoji and Natsuo had come along for the ride, packing a bunch of snacks and some lawn chairs. I don't know why we let them come, but it's better not to argue with them, I guess.

"Alright, so it's simple." Ritsuka stated. "You want her to know how you feel, you're going to have to tell her."

"Nothing's simple with Yuiko…" I mutter.

"Yes, but that aside." Ritsuka rolls his eyes. "You have to be direct. She knows to a degree that you like her because you've confessed before."

"I didn't."

"You asked her out, four-eyes." Yoji offers, waving a lollipop at me. "If that's not confessing, I'm not sure what is."

I glare at him for the nickname, but he's right.

"Focus." Ritsuka snaps his fingers in front of my face to get my attention.

"Sorry, sorry." I shake my head. "I'm focused."

Ritsuka glares at his friends to keep silent. Yoji only gives him the thumbs up sign while Natsuo sheepishly grins an apology for his brother's behavior and slaps him upside the head.

"So, she should already have some kind of clue that you like her. It's not like it will be a giant slap to the face out of left field here." Ritsuka informs me, taking up a casual stance with his arms folded over his chest. "You just need to do it in the right place at the right time. Where did you tell her last time?"

"Central park." I flush. "Not the best place, I guess…"

"Depends on where?"

"We were alone on one of the paths, doing a nature walk for a class project…"

"I see."

"Confessing during homework time. Great move." Natsuo laughs at me. "Come on, that's just so lame."

"The time felt right, ok? And I'd been practicing for weeks…"

"And I'm only giving you a few days." Ritsuka stated. "Can you do it?"

"Yes."

"This has to be done now, way before Valentine's Day season kicks in. Otherwise it will seem too forced."

"Tell that to stores selling Easter shit." Yoji comments.

"Easter already?" Natsuo looks at him.

"Yeah, that one corner store has frigging Cadbury Eggs!"

"Seriously?"

"Zero!" Ritsuka snaps at them. "Focus."

Zero?

"Sorry, sorry." Yoji mutters.

"Alright. So, we need a better setting. Somewhere more romantic."

"Why don't you go where you first told Soubi? Oh, right, you want romantic. And romantic is not a graveyard." Yoji laughs.

"I told you that in confidence, you ass!" Ritsuka looks quickly to me. "It's a long story, and I didn't come right out and say it, cause I'm not certain how I feel yet and…"

"No offense, but I don't really care."

He laughs. "None taken, Yayoi, none taken. Alright, so we need somewhere nice for you two go."

"I don't have money for nice…"

"You don't need money." Ritsuka looks around. "See all the couples out here, walking around, having fun? Are they spending money? No. I'm not asking you to take her to Yokohama and have dinner on the rooftop at Skyline."

"How did you know there's a dinner place there?" Yoji teases.

"Kio wanted to make reservations for himself and Akira on his own for once. We were researching. Shut up."

"Sure you were."

"Shut up!"

"Um…what about here…?"

"Hm?" Ritsuka turns his attention to me. "What?"

Talk about needing to focus, Aoyagi.

"Um…h-here…? It's nice and it's really pretty in the winter…"

Ritsuka shrugs. "Yeah, she might go for the Winter Wonderland theme here." He nods. "It's a bit of a trip, though."

"I'll do it. For her." I flush. "I mean, if she's okay with it…"

"She probably won't mind. But no bus. Want something romantic? Have someone pick you up. Walking here ruins the moment because you'll be too tired and slip up, and buses are gross."

"Says the one who gets driven anywhere he can't walk by college kids who are playing 'mommy and daddy' with him." Natsuo laughs.

Yoji soon joins in. "I can see Kio in a nice housewife dress now."

Even Ritsuka is cracking a smile at this, though he knows the boys are picking on his friends.

"If Soubi asked him to, anyway."

Yoji and Natsuo roar with laughter as Ritsuka pulls me away from them to the other side of the fountain.

"That's one way to keep them busy." He smirks. "I'll ask Kio or Akira to pick you guys up. I'll go with you so she doesn't see it as a date. I'll say I forgot something and that I'm going to run home for it. You're going to stay here with her. If you flounder, I'll be in earshot."

"It's not like I can wear a headset and talk to you…"

"No, but I'll be around to save your ass. I'll use giant cue cards if I have to."

"Right, so she can see and I'll be humiliated."

"If we prepare you enough, you'll be fine. Don't focus on the negative, alright?"

"Okay…"

"If you feel yourself slipping up or getting nervous, just repeat 'focus' to yourself in your mind. It's stupid, I know, but it works. You'd be surprised how powerful words could be. That being said, we need to work on your delivery."

"Delivery?"

"What you're going to say is only half of it. How you say it, and how you act while saying it, are the other half."

I groan. "I don't think I'll ever get this…"

"I'm not asking you to memorize or follow a script. You'll have to ad lib here. Can you do that?"

"I can." I nod. "I mean, I'm in drama club…"
"Well you're a step ahead." He shrugs. "Words are not my thing. Confidence is. For what you're going to do, I can handle that. Words are Soubi's specialty and, surprisingly, Natsuo's as well. He'll give us a hand with that. Yoji's just scenery at this point."

"That's nice…"

"No offense to him, but he's got nothing to add to this here." He shakes his head. "He might be the leader of the two of them, but that's as far as it goes."

"You're more of a leader than they are." I mutter.

"I suppose." He shrugs one shoulder. "But that's only because I have their mother's number on speed dial, and one word from me will have Soubi throwing them out onto the porch in the cold if they cross me."

"Is he back?"

"No." He shakes his head. "If he was, I'd let him take the reins here and we could have left them home where they belong."

I laugh, hiding it behind my hand.

"There you go, less tense. That's how you have to be with Yuiko. Relax, take some Xanax."

"I don't have any."

"Not literally. I'm not advising you to take drugs." He rolls his eyes. "Not that they do anything. Sensei put me on Xanax after Soubi left. Took it for a week and gave up. I'm not anxious, I'm annoyed."

"I don't blame you. Sensei?"

"My therapist, not Shinonome-sensei."

That was his sixth-grade teacher, who he'd been in the class of when Soubi first left two years ago.

"Oh okay."

He shrugs. "Let's grab Natsuo. Yoji can…I don't know…watch."

"Sure."

The two boys appear behind Ritsuka as if he'd summoned them somehow by mentioning their name.

"What am I need for?" Natsuo wondered. "I heard my name."

"He needs confidence, I can teach that. He needs words, that's your specialty."

Natsuo smirks. "You could say that."

"He did." Yoji offers, handing Ritsuka a cup of something hot.

The raven declines, sitting it on the fountain to cool.

"Alright, so you're going to try and woo a lady then, hm?" Natsuo smirks. "You're lucky older women are my thing. Not older guys like Aoyagi."

"Shut up!"

Ritsuka sits next to his drink, flushing as Yoji laughs. I can tell he's half tempted to push him into the fountain.

"What did you say to her the first time?"

"Um…I just asked her to go out with me…"

"And that's it?"

"Y-Yeah…?"

Natsuo sighs, head in his hands. "I've got my work cut out for me here. You owe me one, Loveless."

"Yeah, yeah, anything you want." Ritsuka waved him off. "Anything but that one thing."

"Shut up!" Natsuo and Yoji both glare at him, earning a laugh.

"I'll save that for Soubi." Natsuo gets his jab in, and Ritsuka is silent for once. "Alright. You're too basic, you know that? Just asking her out. Sheesh. This woman means the world to you, doesn't she?"

"Yes…"

"You'd do anything for her."

"Yes."

"You want to be with her."

"Yes."

"You'd die for her."

"Yes."

"You'd kill for her?"

"N-Not certain I'd g-go that far…but it's not like she'd ask me to anyway!"

"Yoji's half lucky if I don't ask Soubi to in a minute." Ritsuka glares at Yoji, who's been whispering into his ear.

The greenette laughs. "You'll have to find him first."

"Just help Yayoi." Ritsuka mutters, picking up his drink.

"You need to do more than 'hey let's go out'!" Natsuo offers. "That's just quick, to the point. No emotion, no feeling, no nothing."

"I didn't know what else to say…I was twelve for god's sake…"

"When I was twelve, I knew bigger words than ones you use every day at sixteen. Now man up." Natsuo orders, hands on his hips. "You want to win her over, get her to say yes. Then you need to remind her that you've been there forever. You've known her longer than Ritsuka or me and Yoji have, right? Since you were kids? You know her better than anyone else, so that has to come across here."

"I try and my mouth gets dry, or I get nervous that I'll scare her off."

"That's the confidence issue." Ritsuka offers, setting his cup on his knee. "I'll help there. For now, just listen."

"If you have the right words, the fear will go away. With or without Aoyagi's confidence boosts he's going to be shoving down your throat."

"It's not medicine, Natsuo. It's just a way of thinking." Ritsuka shrugs.

"A way of thinking you wouldn't have if not for your accident." Yoji teases. "Shut it, Aoyagi."

"I was confident before my accident, baka." Ritsuka states. "My grades were shit, but I had friends, I was popular and got along with everyone. After the accident, and even more after Seimei's death, shut up, Natsuo," he points a finger at the redhead just as he opens his mouth to speak, "I was withdrawn. I had no friends outside of Osamu until I started letting Yuiko get close to me."

"So you're saying you're just back to who you used to be?"

"To a degree, my memory is returning, yes, but we're not getting into that now." He shook his head. "Natsuo, continue."

"Sure thing, Boss." Natsuo grins. "You feel so strongly about her? Let it come across in your words. You want to be with her more than anything, hai?"

"Hai."

"Then you need to show it. Ritsuka can tell you to be confident and believe in yourself and yadda, yadda, yadda. That won't help when you're about to let her have a piece of your soul." He gives Ritsuka a 'you should know how that feels' kind of look that made Yoji laugh before he continues. "I can tell you the words to say, give you a direction to go. Ritsuka can help you feel better about yourself, but that's not going to magically fix things. You need to practice. Use Yoji as a stand in."

"Hey!"

"You heard Ritsuka. In this case, you're useless as three-day old shit." Natsuo rolls his one visible eye. "Make yourself useful and let the boy pretend you're a chick. Can't be that hard. Look at you."

Ritsuka doubles over in laughter, holding his sides as tears form in the corners of his eyes. Yoji looks both annoyed and hurt by his brother's words as he elbows Ritsuka right in the ribs.

"You're sleeping alone tonight for that comment." Yoji scolds, standing and smoothing his clothes out. "And you're one to talk. Look at you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Z-Zero, f-focus!" Ritsuka says between laughs.

"It was about as funny as Soubi running off with your brother, Aoyagi. Calm down."

Ritsuka's laughter grinds to a halt and there's something in his eyes I never saw before, but hope to never see again as he utters a 'shut the fuck up, Yoji'.

"Alright, alright." Natsuo holds up his hand. "We're here to help lover boy, here. Not insult one another and dreg up memories we'd rather forget." He scolds. "Come on, now. Tell me about Yuiko."

"Huh?" I'm confused.

"Yuiko." He clarifies. "Tell us about her."

"You know her…"

"Yes, but not like you know her. You know her better than we do, four-eyes, come on."

I sigh. "Don't call me that…"

"Don't focus on that." Natsuo shakes his head. "Tell me about Yuiko."

"Tell you what, though? You know her well enough…"

"For god's sake." Yoji rolls his eyes. "What do you like about her? Shit like that. He wants to know what you know through your eyes. He can't help you by using what he knows. He's not confessing here, you are."

"O-Oh…" I ring my hands. "Um…well…she's funny and smart…"

"No, she isn't."

Ritsuka slaps him.

"She's pretty and…um…well she's nice and friendly to everyone, even when they don't deserve it…"

"Like those bitches in your class from sixth grade? They've calmed down now, right?"

"Yeah, they don't bother her. But even when they did, she didn't really care. She was friends with them anyway. Yeah, it hurt, but at the end of the day they were friends. Until Ritsuka and I and you guys came along and showed her what real friends are like."

"Alright, so she's pretty and funny, compassionate, and takes other people's shit with a grin."

"It's terrible when you put it that way." Ritsuka scolds.

"Alright, fine. When other people are mean to her, she loves them anyway. Better?"

"Much."

Wasn't it Natsuo who was supposed to be good with words?

"Y-Yeah." I nod. "She's pretty and funny, compassionate and kind, accepting and loving…she rarely raises her voice unless she's excited or something. She treats everyone nicely, even when they give her reason not to."

"So, she's got a big heart. I think that's a medical condition. They have surgery or something for that." Natsuo shrugs one shoulder. "I know she's pretty calm and big words confuse her, so I'll keep it simple." He closes one eye and taps his chin in thought, as if he's coming up with a speech for me on the spot. I recognize the look on his face well for when he's told to speak for a minute straight about whatever for Japanese class.

"While he's in his own little world, I'm gonna grab another snack. Anyone want anything? Yoji asks.

Ritsuka and I both deny it.

"You to shut up while I think." Natsuo offers, not opening his eye.

"I'm gonna spit in his cocoa…" Yoji mutters to himself as he walks away.

Ritsuka motions for me to come over, so I take a seat next to him.

"So far, I think we're good." Ritsuka whispers. "Natsuo can work on the words, and you can practice with Yoji."

"If he tells me to kiss her or something, I'm not practicing that…"

"No, a move like that would scare her off anyway." Ritsuka shakes his head. "Just to prepare you, Yoji's gonna be an ass. You know he is, I know he is, Natsuo knows he is. Hell, he's planning just how to be an ass to you right this very second."

"Yeah."

"So be prepared and try not to let him phase you or catch you off guard in any way."

"Yeah, like that's possible…I think you guys sometimes forget I'm here, because you use inside jokes I don't get a lot…"

"It's just a habit. Normally it's the three of us and Soubi. But no Soubi, so…"

"So, it's me and you forget that. Gotcha." I shrug.

"No matter what we tell you or how we help you with Yuiko, you need to remember to be yourself."

"Myself isn't what she likes, though…"

Ritsuka frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Her excuse for not dating me was that I was short. But she likes you and you're short. It's more like she doesn't want me to know she don't feel the same."

"Or she's changed her opinion. I think it's stupid to reject someone based on their height anyway. People grow. You were only twelve. You've grown since then, and I doubt you're done growing."

"Neither are you."

He's about a head taller than me now, but I try not to let it bother me too much. His brother was tall, so he'll probably be tall too. Everyone in my family is around the same height. I'm pretty much stuck on the shorter end of things.

"I'm aware."

"I guess she could have changed her opinion as far as height goes." I shrug. "But that doesn't mean much. She likes guys that are confident and smart and…well, she likes guys like you…"

"Correction, she likes me."

"Thanks for rubbing it in."

"Sorry, she's just never voiced like for a guy other than me."

"She's confessed to you?"

"She told me she loved me back in sixth grade. It's nothing, we're just friends. I don't see her that way."

"Do you see anyone that way?"

"Are you referring to Soubi or just asking in general?"

"Both, I guess."

His ears twitch as he sighs. "I guess I don't."

"You're sure?"

"Very." He nods. "But who I like and who Yuiko likes aren't the focus right now. The focus is on you and you liking Yuiko and you telling her."

"But if she doesn't like me, then this is all for nothing."

"Not for nothing. You tried." Ritsuka smiles gently. "If we all just sat around on our asses worrying about what other people like or don't like or would or wouldn't do, nothing would get done. People wouldn't advance in their careers or go for the lead in the play. People wouldn't get married or start families with the person they love. Fear of rejection is normal. Fear of not being loved by the one or ones you love is normal. You just can't let that fear control you."

"How? How the hell do you just fight fear head on like that?"

"Simple. You defy fate."

"What?"

"It's something someone told me a while ago. You think you know your fate, think your life is set out for you on a set path that you can't change or control. Defy it. make your path, set your own rules; run your own life." He shrugs. "The guy who said it? I hate him, absolutely despise his existence, but he has a point. Take control for yourself."

"Clearly I need help with that."

Ritsuka smiles gently. "Once I figured out that my life was my own to do as I pleased, I became a lot happier. My therapist was always encouraging me to think for myself and not worry what others think. I always thought she was full of it. But now, living with Akira and Kio, taking control of my life outside of the rules defined for the house or myself as a minor like any parent would set, I realize she was right. So, don't let fear control you or hold you back. That's no way to live, Yayoi. We'll all be here regardless. Yuiko doesn't go out with you? Oh well, she'll still be your friend. Yoji and Natsuo could care less; they're just having fun being involved and whistling from the sidelines like some weird kind of cheerleader. I'm certainly not going anywhere. She says no, I'll be here to pick up the pieces when it hurts, because I know it's going to hurt. Rejection sucks ass. But I'm still going to be your friend and be here for you. Regardless of what happens, the only difference is that you were open and honest with Yuiko, and I'm certain she'll appreciate that."

"T-Thanks, Aoyagi…I'm…not used to having such nice friends…" I look over at Natsuo, who's still thinking with his eye closed while Yoji sprays him with a soda he shook and opened. "Well, I guess nice isn't exactly the blanket term I'd use…"

Ritsuka chuckles. "They're not bad people. They're just stupid."

"I couldn't agree more."

"Any luck over there, Natsuo, or did you fall asleep standing up again?" Ritsuka calls.

"Like a cow!" Yoji mocks, earning him a swift kick to the backside from Natsuo. "Ow!"

"You didn't feel shit and you know it. Calm down." Natsuo opens his eye and faces us as Yoji rubs his rear. "Alright, I have an idea, but you need to work with me here."

"Okay…"

"I'm not giving you a script, just an idea of what to say in a way that she'll readily understand it and you cannot feel like a total buffoon while doing so okay?"

"Alright…"

"Come here." Natsuo pushed Yoji in front of him. "Yoji is Yuiko."

He waves.

"Okay…"

Ritsuka sighs, muttering something to himself in English while he stands near me. I wasn't even aware he spoke English enough to talk in it to himself.

"So, we're not here, Ritsuka and I. It's just you and Yuiko. Akira and Kio dropped you off. Ritsuka stayed for like fifteen minutes before realizing he forgot something like his camera. Impossible, but let's pretend it is for now and work out that kink later." Natsuo waves him off. "It's just you and Yuiko chilling here by the fountain, waiting for Ritsuka to come back, having a nice time chatting it up. We'll skip the whole you look nice thing because that never happened. Point of all this is that it's not a date, it's just friends hanging out. Yuiko aid you guys would tag along with Ritsuka, but he says it will be faster if he goes alone. which is true, she'll buy that and stay back."

"Alright, alright, scene set. He's in drama club, he knows this kind of shit." Yoji wines. "Just get to the wooing part."

"So you can laugh?" I roll my eyes.

"Duh." He shoots me a smirk. "Come on, lover boy, I'm the girl of your dreams here."

He does a hair flip and a rather girly twirl on his toes.

"Only if his dream is a nightmare." Natsuo chides. "Okay, so no dating kind of small talk, just you guys alone. You're making regular small talk now. Start."

"Um…okay…" I sigh. Isn't he supposed to be telling me what to say here? "I'm glad we could all hang out today…?"

"Is that a question or a statement?" Natsuo scolds. "Be definitive. I'm glad we could all hang out today. Be assertive with it."

"I'm glad we could all hang out today." I try again.

He nods. "Proceed."

"Yuiko is too." Yoji offers in the worst impression of Yuiko I've ever heard.

Ritsuka is laughing, Natsuo is trying to hold it together for me.

"Okay, okay." Natsuo waves his hand. "Yoji, be serious here, but nice use of Yuiko instead of 'I'."

Yoji snickers. "I've practiced~"

What a weirdo. Why was I friends with these two again? Oh, right, they are just Ritsuka's friends that tagged along with us and Natsuo is my speaking coach. Forgot.

"It's a nice day to hang outside, for January."

"Hai, January is cold."

I roll my eyes, not sure how to respond.

"Now what? Silence is annoying." Natsuo offered.

"Explains why you two never shut up." Ritsuka smirks.

"Zip it." Natsuo orders with a flick of his wrist as Yoji gives Ritsuka the finger. Brats. "Well? Now what?"

"I don't know…what else can I say that isn't weather and cheesy crap like that?"

"Yuiko sure hopes Ritsuka-kun doesn't take too long. It's boring without him here!" Yoji offers.

"Yuiko wouldn't be that rude." Ritsuka scolds.

"I'm sure he won't take long. He doesn't want to keep us waiting."

"You're right, Yayoi-san. What was I thinking? That's right, nothing!"

"Yoji." Ritsuka warns.

"Be serious, would you?" I ask. "Please?"

"Fine, fine, sorry." Yoji sighs, folding his arms over his chest.

"Alright so small talk over. Time to make a move. Shift a little closer." Natsuo waves his hand.

I take a step closer to Yoji, feeling nervous and red as hellfire itself. "O-Okay…"

"Now you want to gently ease into this kind of thing. So she's mentioned Ritsuka already. That's a gateway point."

"A what?"

"Gateway." Ritsuka repeats. "He means that she's made mention of me, so you should use that to move onto another topic. She's unknowingly given you a starting point."

"Oh, I see."

"She's mentioned Ritsuka already. You add onto it."

"How…?"

"Something like 'you sure like Ritsuka, don't you'?"

"Um okay…"

"Start again."

This was annoying. God why was it so hard to ask a girl out?!

"He won't like to keep us waiting."

"You're right, Yayoi-san, he wouldn't!" Yoji gave me a creepy grin. "Yuiko is so glad she has friends like you to think of these kind of things."

"So…um…you really like Ritsuka-kun, don't you?"

"Of course I do. He's the best! And so cute, too. Mm hm!"

Natsuo slaps him. "You're sleeping on the porch for that one, ass hat."

"I second the notion." Ritsuka offers.

"Alright, fine. Hai, Yayoi-san, Yuiko does. But she doesn't think he will ever feel the same way."

"What…er…" I paused, at a loss for words.

"What? What are you thinking?" Natsuo wonders.

"I don't…" I sigh, hanging my head. "It's no use. We're wasting our time…"

"So what if she likes Ritsuka?" Yoji wonders. "A lot of people do, but that doesn't stop Soubi from making out with the kid in a graveyard."

"Once again, Yoji, in confidence!" Ritsuka glares as Natsuo smacks him. "It was one time, Yayoi, don't think anything of it."

"Oh, just come out of the closet already. Other than Yuiko, no one on the planet thinks you're straight."

"My therapist doesn't know anything about Soubi, nor do my parents." Ritsuka flushes. "Besides, that's not the topic right now. What's wrong, Yayoi?"

"I just…I don't know how to respond to that…my first response would be to reassure her you might in the future, but that would harm my chances. And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't ever feel the same, honestly. I don't want to tell her that either because it will upset her and make me look like a jerk."

"Redirect." Natsuo offers, pressing his hands together and tipping them down a bit. "You want her to open her eyes and see someone else likes her, and that the world doesn't revolve around Ritsuka and who-or what gender-he likes."

"So…?"

"Try something like 'I understand how you feel. But don't you think there might be someone else out there that might like you'?"

"She'll just go back to the Ritsuka thing again." Yoji offers.

"Try it, Yayoi, and Yoji, don't be a dick."

"You are what you eat." Ritsuka mutters.

"You'd know."

Ritsuka glares.

"I don't know about Ritsuka, sorry. We don't really talk about that kind of thing…"

"Oh, it's okay, Yayoi-san." Yoji sounds depressed.

I sigh. "But he's not the only guy in the world, you know. Why not give someone else a chance?"

"There's no one for me but Ritsuka-kun."

"Hold it, pause, stop right there." Natsuo sounds like the drama director, Hitama-sensei. "How do you expect him to respond to that?"

"I guarantee you she'd say something like that." Yoji shrugs. "He needs to be prepared, not go in with his head up his ass. This is just a role play. It won't go this way."

"He's right." Ritsuka offers. "But we need to try."

"You don't know until you try." I offer.

"Huh?" The three chorus at me.

"That's my answer. You won't know until you try."

They all stared at me, stunned.

"What? I'm in drama club. I can ad lib…" I flush.

"That's a nice redirect…" Natsuo offers with a smile. "Yoji? I mean Yuiko?"

"But who would ever like Yuiko like that? The only people nice to Yuiko are Ritsuka-kun and you. And sometimes the Sagan brothers."

"Sometimes…er…sometimes…I don't know…"

"Yes, you do. Breathe." Natsuo offers. "Just like in drama club. In and out, right?"

"I work the cameras and sound system, Natsuo…"

"That's not the point!" Natsuo throws his hands to the sides in a shape of an 'x'. "Just take a deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. I'm certain sensei has taught the actors that while you've been around."

"I'm not acting here though…"

"It works for all kinds of nerves."

"How do you know? You guys are never nervous…"

"Not true." Yoji offers. "We'd never been to school before, so that made us nervous."

"Yeah, and sensei almost ditched us, so we had nerves about that." Natsuo adds.

"Sensei?"

"Their mother." Ritsuka offers. "And my nerves were through the roof living home with my mother alone after Seimei died. Not to mention the day I went to the Academy, but I'm not going into details. And Soubi? Soubi makes me nervous as hell."

"Why? He wouldn't hurt you."

"He up and left. He hurt him." Natsuo says. "You didn't see it, but he was a wreck."

"Anyway, everyone has something that makes them nervous or anxious and all that kind of stuff." Ritsuka states. "Even now, I'm worried someone will report that I'm living with two college guys that I'm not related to and have me either sent home or thrown into foster care. Being worried and nervous and anxious is natural. You have to accept that or you won't move past it. And when you get that way, you'll think it's not normal and something's wrong and it will make you worse."

"I guess…"

"Focus." Ritsuka orders. "I don't have curfew, but I know you do."

"Right. Right. So…erm…I don't know what to say here…"

"She mentioned you. It's funny that you mention that, Yuiko." Natsuo leads me.

"Um…okay. It's funny you mention that, Yuiko, because…I have something I wanted to talk to you about?"

"Good, good. Continue!"

"Oh? What's that, Yayoi-san?"

"Well, um…the truth is…" I sigh. "I don't know how to not come off as totally desperate."

"Pardon, but you are totally desperate." Yoji offers, finger in the air.

"Shut up." Ritsuka orders.

"But I don't want her to know that. Then she'll just say yes out of pity."

"Stop." Ritsuka waves his hands in front of him. "This isn't going to work. You have to stop thinking so negatively. Yuiko pities people, sure, but she's not the type to go out with someone out of pity."

"I guess but…"

"Okay, so the truth is what? What does she need to know? You know what to say here."

"I do?"

"Just whatever is in your heart." Natsuo shrugs one shoulder. "If you speak form the heart, she won't know you had any help, and you'll get much more accomplished."

"I'm going to tell you something Soubi told me once, alright?" Ritsuka takes a step forward, looking at his feet and crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself somehow. "In life, you have to make definitive decisions. I can do this. Yuiko will say yes. That's what you have to think to yourself. You don't have to say it aloud, not when she's there, anyway, but it needs to cross your mind while you're talking to her, while we're in the car on the way over, before we get to her. We'll get you first so I can help you repeat it like a mantra if I really need to. But you need to make definitive decisions. You're influencing the future with your thoughts. Think negatively, and negatives will happen."

"You're positive Soubi will come back, but the result of that has been negative." Yoji points out.

"That's a special case. Just because he hasn't yet, it doesn't mean he won't ever." Ritsuka shakes his head. "We are helping you the best we can, but you need to be able to think on your feet. We can't come in, tell her to hold up like it's a scene change, and help you out. You have to do it yourself."

"I know…"

"So think. What are you going to say? What do you want her to know? How do you feel? Pure, open honesty is what you need."

"Okay…" I take a deep breath in my nose and out of my mouth like Natsuo suggested. "Well, it's funny you should mention that, because I have something I want to talk to you about."

"What's that Yayoi-san?" Yoji cocks his head and gives me a pretty smile, and I'm reminded of Yuiko for the first time since we started this.

"You remember at the end of fifth grade when I asked you to go out with me, and you said no?"

"Yuiko remembers. Yuiko is sorry she hurt your feelings."

"No, it's okay, Yuiko. I understand. I was…we were too young for that kind of thing, and I kind of sprung it on you. That was my fault. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Wait, you made her cry?" Yoji wondered.

"Smooth move…" Ritsuka wipes his face with his hand.

"It's not like I tried to! She just felt bad that she had to turn me down. You know how she is."

"I'm not that surprised." Ritsuka offers. "Alright, continue."

"It's okay. I just felt bad that I hurt your feelings!" Yoji offers an answer.

"Don't worry, it's okay. Maybe we can start over?"

"Yuiko would like that."

"Okay, good. New starting point. But you want to keep this topic." Natsuo says.

"Okay…so since we're all okay with each other now and everything, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Yuiko thought we were talking!"

"It's just…I asked you that day because I really liked you and I wanted you to know. I shouldn't have thought that you'd accept it right away. We weren't as close then as we are now."

"You…liked Yuiko? So you don't anymore? I thought we were friends."

"We are. I do like you Yuiko…erm…" I pause. "More than like." I say after it looks like Natsuo is about to speak up again. "I've had really strong feelings for you ever since I met you, Yuiko, and I…I'm tired of holding back. I know you like Ritsuka-kun and I didn't want to get in the way if being with him would make you happy. But I forgot to make myself happy and I…I don't know where to go from here…"

"You're doing fine." Natsuo coaches. "Keep going. From the heart. Ritsuka and I aren't here, it's just you and Yoji…I mean Yuiko."

I nod. "I still like you, Yuiko, and I hope that maybe you could give me a chance…?"

"Putting too much pressure on her." Natsuo states. "You sound like you're making her responsible for you being happy. That won't work."

"I hope that maybe we could try to be something more than just friends…?"

"There you go. Keep going."

"Please don't feel like you have to say yes or like you don't want to hurt me…"

"No, no. Telling her how to feel won't work." Natsuo shakes his head.

"I'm not telling her…"

"Please don't feel." Ritsuka repeats. "Meaning 'don't feel this way'."

"Okay, okay." I sigh. "If you don't feel the same way, that's okay. If you're worried about hurting me, you don't have to be. I can take it."

"Alright. Not telling her how to feel but accepting that she might feel that way. Better."

"I don't know, I'd say it's still too weak." Yoji offers. 'But words are your job, Natsuo. What do you think?"

He taps his chin in thought. "I definitely think we have a start. We'll need to work on the words, but they might just come naturally to you. And anything Yoji says might not be what she says. You can't predict that."

"I know…"

"But what bothers me most is your confidence." Natsuo offers, slipping his hands into his pockets. "You keep being at a loss for words because you're not confident."

"Yeah, I need to work on that…"

"That's where I step in." Ritsuka smiles gently. "You guys can go home if you want. I appreciate the help, but this is something I should discuss with Yayoi alone."

"Yeah, I'm getting tired." Yoji yawns. "Good luck."

"Thanks." I smile gently.

"I was talking to Ritsuka."

"Get out of here." Ritsuka swipes at him.

Yoji twirls away, giggling. Natsuo pats me on the shoulder.

"You and I will talk tomorrow in private." He states. "Without the peanut gallery around. Your words are fine, but having them here makes you too nervous."

"Yoji scares me sometimes…"

"I know. He scares me, too." Natsuo turns to dash off after his partner in crime.

"Yoji scares everyone." He offers. "Alright, so let's get started here. First, you need to appear more confident. Even if you don't feel it, you need to show it. She'll feed off your nervousness. You and I both know that she's like that."

"I know." I sigh. "But how do I fake it without it seeming fake?"

"I'm going to show you something, okay?"

"Okay?"

Ritsuka sighs and stands straight, legs slightly apart, and hands jammed into his pockets. His head is held high as he smiles at me. His ears twitch as they stand straight up, tail dancing to and fro lightly.

"See the way I'm standing?"

"Yeah, confident."

"Right. Now watch this."

He slouched, putting all the weight on one foot and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. His tail stilled and his ears drooped.

"Nervous?"

"Right." He nods, standing straight again. "And then there's in between."

"You versus me."

"Right." He smiles gently. "I'm not trying to compare us or make you feel bad, okay?"

"Okay…"

"Just trying to show you something. Why did my pose seem confident but yours not?"

"I'm slouchy and nervous."

"For the most part. You're being confident now talking to me, and even earlier bantering with the twins. But the moment we started the role play stuff, you shut down and got nervous again. You weren't talking to Yuiko. You were talking to Yoji doing a terrible impression because he's a terrible person."

I laugh.

"See? Just loosen up. I know it's hard to do and easy to say, but you'll get there if you believe you can. For now, we need to fake it until you make it."

"Okay."

"So stand up. Straight. Like you're giving a presentation in class."

"You know how badly I screwed that up!"

"Ignore that!"

"Okay…"

"Stand up straight." He guides me with his hand. Good. Hands out of the pockets."

I do as told, shifting my weight a little to be more comfortable.

"There you go." He smiles. "Now, head up, smile."

I try.

"Now it seems forced. A nice smile. You just got the exact thing you wanted for your birthday."

I change my smile a bit.

"More relaxed. Perfect." He nods. "Wag your tail, perk your ears."

I do a test run.

"There you go. Now, say something."

"Like what?"

"You need to change your tone. Just say something like 'Yuiko I like cake'."

"Yuiko, I like cake?"

"That was a question."

"Yuiko, I like cake."

"Better, but still wavy. Control your voice."

"Yuiko, I like cake."

"There you go. Put more force behind it."

"Yuiko, I like cake."

"Yuiko, I like you."

"Yuiko, I like you."

"There you go!" Ritsuka gives a wide grin. "That's what I needed to hear."

"You…you tricked me…"

"Yes, but it worked, didn't it? I changed one little word and you just followed blindly. Before we come and pick you up, you need to practice in the mirror. Say it ten times with cake, one with you. Nine with cake, two with you. And so on. Until you're doing one cake and ten you."

"Okay…"

"You're going to build your confidence. You can portray it in your stance and all that nonsense, but you need to be able to portray it in your voice and be confident."

"I can see what you mean…" I check my phone as it dings for a text. "My father wants me home."

"I'll get a ride." He texts one of his roommates quickly. "Five minutes and they'll be here."

"Okay…"

"If you need more confidence, talk to Akira. Out of all of us, he's the only one to have confessed instead of being confessed to. I mean, for god's sake, Kio still hasn't told Soubi how he feels about him."

"Does he even still feel that way? I mean, he's with Akira."

"A part of him will always love Soubi; that's his best friend." Ritsuka shrugs. "Is it the same kind of love he feels for Akira? No. Same kind of love he feels for me? No."

"Love for you?"

"Obviously, they can't have children together without adopting, and that's too expensive for a couple of artists."

"Yeah…?"

"Kio says I'm like a son to them." He shrugs. "That's why he's so protective, even over the Soubi thing. He doesn't want to see me hurt again."

"Sounds about right…"

"There's different kinds of love, Yayoi. You just have to figure out which you feel for who."

"I know just what I feel for Yuiko…but I'm certain it's the same that she feels for you…"

"You and Yuiko and the twins are my friends. I love you like the brother I never had and her like a sister I never had. And the twins like the brothers I never wanted but got stuck with anyway."

I laugh.

"I love Akira and Kio like friends, but also like parents. They're like a couple crazy uncles that support all my bad decisions. I love my mother and father like one should love their parents, even if they've done nothing but fuck up."

"L-Language…"

"I love Seimei like a brother even though he broke my heart. Multiple times. I'm just lucky I recovered this time."

"This time?"

"Soubi's gone."

"He's alive?"

"As far as I know, but what I know isn't much and it's spotty." I shrug. "There's people who have seen him but just not in a while. There's people who have probably seen him recently, but I don't talk to any of them. The one that said 'defy fate' is one of those people. I can't stand the guy."

"What does that have to do with your brother?"

"It's Seimei's fault."

"Seimei's dead."

"I know."

"Soubi left recently."

"I know."

"I'm confused."

"I know." He nods. "Just take my word for it. I know Yuiko likes me the way you like her. But I could never feel that way for her. She's like a sister. Whether I can't feel that way for her because I'm not into women or just because we're too good of friends to feel anything more? I'm not certain." He shrugs. "But you're certain you love her, aren't you?"

"Very."

"If you're that confident in your feelings for her, why not be that confident in letting her know?"

"I…I don't know."

"You never know what you don't know until it's pointed out to you." He nudges me. "There they are. come on, before you end up being too late."

"Thanks, Ritsuka."

"Of course, Yayoi."

000

Nine that night found me sitting up in my bed, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion while my mind begged for me to stay up and fight all its battles for me. I sighed, head hanging in defeat. Defy fate, be confident, focus. Everything Ritsuka said made sense, even if it wasn't meant to help me. I clenched my fist. Damn it, why can't I be more like Ritsuka? He's confident, secure in who he is and what he wants…then there's me…I'm not confident or secure, I'm self-loathing and insecure. My mind is terrified of telling Yuiko how I feel, even though my heart is gun-ho on making sure she knew before she found someone else. It was clear she and Ritsuka weren't ever going to be a couple. I'm pretty certain his feelings for Soubi are too strong for him to even consider anyone else. Whether or not he knows it, he's as head over heels for Soubi and I am for Yuiko. But he's…afraid to admit it…to anyone…including Soubi. I almost screamed in frustration. Damn it, why couldn't I see it before? Yeah, Aoyagi is confident and strong and smart and brave. That's who he is as a person. But when it comes to romantic relationships and love in general, he's just as underconfident and anxious as me! He's outgoing and friendly, but when it comes to Soubi, he keeps saying he's not sure about him while everyone else says it's obvious. At least I admit that I love Yuiko.

"I like cake…" I mutter. "I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake…I like Yuiko…" I try what Ritsuka suggested. "I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like cake. I like Yuiko. I like Yuiko."

I repeat it until I'm only saying how I feel about Yuiko and nothing about cake, though he told me to stop at one cake.

"Either you really like cake or you're trying to bore yourself to sleep finally." My father greets.

I look up from my knees, startled. My father looks like me; grey-blue hair that matches the tips of my ears and tail to his shoulders and matching navy blue eyes. The rest of my hair and the shape of my face I got from my mother. Wherever or whoever she was. I don't know her, since she left when I was little. His new girlfriend is nice, though.

"Um…I…Ritsuka was trying to help me be more confident…said that would help…"

"You're planning on confessing, aren't you?" He gives a fond sigh. "I remember going through that when I was your age. It's tough."

"You confessed to mom?"

"Oh, heavens no. I met your mother long after I was out of school." He waves me off. "There was this girl. Masayuki Saki. Sweet as pie, cute like a cherub…" He shakes it off, as if he's fearful that his girlfriend will hear him. "It was so hard to just come out with it. I was shy as a kid."

"What did you do?"

"I just walked up to her at school one day after I got tired of my friends picking on me for having such a major crush on her." He laughs, face red. "Told her how I felt and asked if she'd like to go to lunch with me the next day."

"Did it work?"

"She flat out laughed in my face and told me no. In front of all her friends, and basically the entire student body."

"What did you do?"

"I thanked her for listening anyway and bolted. My friends were there to support me, and we laugh about it now, but I was mortified."

"I confessed to her when we were kids…she said can't five times and said it's because I'm shorter than she is…"

"So…it's not you, it's your physical appearance. Nice."

"Dad!"

He laughs. "You'll look back on it and laugh one day."

"Yeah, I doubt it."

"Trust me." He smiles. "It gets better. I stayed locked in my room all weekend, and faked being sick for like three days until mother caught me faking it. All because I didn't want to face her or the rest of the student body."

"What happened when you went back?"

"She still gave me these looks and her friends still giggled whenever I was nearby, but no one else really seemed to care. Hyako Sayuri threw up while giving a speech at the assembly that they had Saturday and everyone moved onto making fun of her about that. She got over it, but she wasn't the same anymore."

"A-And you? How did you eventually move on? Wasn't it awkward?"

"Sure." He shrugs. "She was dating a college kid at the time, and no one knew until she came in pregnant."

"Oh god…"

He laughs. "My point is, it may hurt, but you have to at least try. You'll never know unless you try, right?"

"You never know what you don't know until someone points it out to you. Ritsuka-kun told me that."

He nods. "Sound advice, I suppose. Regardless, just be yourself. You can play confident and have a script in your head to follow, but that's not how it's going to work. If you don't be yourself, she'll know it's not only coming from you and she'll question it."

"Natsuo helped me with my words." I say. "I mean, he didn't give me a script or tell me what to say, but his brother pretended to be Yuiko and answer like her so I could pretend it was happening. Whenever I did something he thought would hurt me, he but in."

"You have good friends, Yayoi."

"I know I do." I smile softly, even though the brothers and I aren't really friends. "I'm just hoping Yuiko will be okay with going from good friend to good girlfriend…"

"You're older now than you were when you first told her, more mature. So is she. I'm sure you'll be fine. Be confident, do whatever Natsuo and Ritsuka tried to help you by coaching you. But above all, be yourself, and know everything will work out in the end the way it's supposed to."

"Not if I defy fate…"

He smiled. "No. not if you defy fate. Goodnight, son."

"Goodnight."

He closes the door and I lay down to sleep. With all these people backing me, how could I lose?

000

Akira's car pulls up in front of my home the following Sunday. Yuiko has agreed to hang out with Ritsuka-kun and I, though it was him that had asked. I was too nervous that I'd blow it to do so. Besides, she is normally more receptive to his ideas to hang than mine. I sigh and slip in back with Ritsuka. he's dressed nicely as usual, with a solid blue button up hanging open off his shoulders and a light red plaid shirt under it, and his usual skinny jeans and sneakers. I feel a little out of place in a t-shirt, light colored ripped knee jeans, and old sneakers.

"I should have dressed up a bit more…" I mutter.

"We have to act like this is just a normal outing, remember?" Ritsuka wonders, pushing his hair behind his left ear. "If you dress up, she'll notice."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. God, I'm so nervous."

"I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be." Akira offers with a small smile in the rearview mirror. "You think it was easy telling the dense one here how I felt? I had to lie."

"He told me it was a family gathering at his parents' cabin, but it was just us from the start." Kio laughed. "To be fair, I should have seen it coming. Even Soubi noticed that he was always staring at me, and you know how dense Soubi is."

"Dense One and Dense Two; you two were made for each other."

"I thought we were." Kio pouts.

Akira chuckles. "Point is like Ritsuka told you yesterday. Fake the confidence if you have to, but be open and honest with her. She'll appreciate it more than a lie."

"Though your scheme was pretty cute, really." Kio giggles.

"Thanks." Akira rolls his eyes. "You got this, Yayoi."

"My dad thought so, too…"

I spent the past week going over finer points of conversation alone with Natsuo and working no my confidence alone with Ritsuka. Yoji was more of a hindrance than an asset, so we left him out for the most part. Natsuo would distract him while I was with Ritsuka, and vise-versa. Still, I'm the most nervous I've ever been.

"The only one who still needs to start thinking that is you." Ritsuka offers.

"I know."

"We're here." Akira offers, prompting Ritsuka to send a text.

Yuiko appears a few minutes later and gets in the car as Ritsuka and I slide over to the other side.

"Good morning!" She greets, all bright and bubbly as usual. "Thank you for the ride, Shujimeki-san."

"Oh, just Akira is fine." He smiles at her. "You're welcome."

"Just going to the park, hm?" Kio wonders. "Let us know when you're ready to leave. We'll take you guys for ice cream or something before we bring you kids home."

"Awesome! Thank you, Kio-san." Yuiko beams as Ritsuka and I offer thanks as well.

"Of course." Kio turns to face the road and begins chatting with Akira to give us time to ourselves.

"You look cute today, Ritsuka-kun." Yuiko states. "Yuiko…er…I…think girls will be all over you!"

He laughs a little, folding his arms over his chest. "They're going to be holding their breath for a while." He states. "I'm gay."

The car is silent as he looks out the window. Even Akira and Kio seem stunned.

"What?" The greenette asks.

"What? You shouldn't be surprised. I mean, come on…Soubi."

Everyone mutters an agreement.

"Wow, Ritsuka-kun, I had no idea." Yuiko smiles at him. "Yuiko is glad you feel comfortable enough to tell us!"

"Yeah, but just you guys. Yoji and Natsuo won't let me hear the end of it, and I'm sure you know how kids at school can be."

"Yuiko is certain you'll be okay. And Taku-kun will be happy to hear that. Yuiko thinks he really likes you!"

"Who now?" Kio asks, turning and giving Ritsuka his best 'you better be honest with me here boy' look.

"This guy in my math class. He always goes out of his way to help me and walk me to class and crap." Ritsuka sighs. "Sorry for him, but I prefer my men older…"

"And blonde." Akira laughs.

"Shut up." Ritsuka flushes.

Did he seriously just come out of the closet? Alright, if he could get the courage to do that, then I could get the courage to ask Yuiko out. Right? Plus, he made it pretty obvious he wouldn't go for her. Maybe she won't even talk about him later.

"Well, now that you admitted it, we have to take you out for ice cream….and if you change your mind about this Taku kid, you better let me meet him first."

"One word with you and he'll go running for the hills."

"Exactly."

Laughter fills the car and I'm suddenly feeling more at ease than I was before. Thanks, Ritsuka.

000

"Ah, shit." Ritsuka complains half an hour later.

"What is it, Ritsuka-kun?" Yuiko asks.

"I forgot my camera."

"Oh no!"

"I'll run home and grab it. You guys wanna wait here?"

"We can go with you!" She stands as she offers.

"No, it would be faster if I go on my own. No offense, but I move quicker."

"Oh, okay." Her ears droop.

"You okay with that, Yayoi?"

"Yeah, that's fine. It's not like I should be running anywhere, anyway."

"Oh, right!" Yuiko sits next to me. "Yuiko forgot. Sorry, Yayoi-kun. I'll keep you company here. Ritsuka knows where he's going."

"Right." He smiles. "Alright, I'll be right back. We're not far from home."

He winks at me and bolts, and I hope to god Yuiko hadn't seen it.

"Ritsuka-kun is so brave." She comments off handedly.

"Huh?"

"Telling us what he told us in the car. That's really brave of him, Yuiko thinks. Don't you, Yayoi-san?"

"Yeah, I do." I smile. "I wish I was as brave as he is."

'What do you mean?" She gives me a confused look that I know all too well.

"Just…there's some things I'd like to get off my chest, but I'm afraid to. I don't know how people will respond. Especially you…"

"Yuiko?" She points to herself, ears twitching. "Yayoi-san, you're Yuiko's friend! Nothing will change that. You can tell Yui…me anything!"

My heart twinges at that. Nothing will change that? Oh, stop, Yayoi, she means she'd never hate you. That's all.

"Thanks, Yuiko." I smile.

"No need to thank me!" She blushes and looks away. "Would you like to wait until Ritsuka-kun comes back? He won't judge you either, because he's nice like that!"

"Yeah, he's a great guy." I swallow hard. "There's…there's actually something I'd like to talk to you about…just you, okay?"

"Just me?" She wonders. "Go ahead, Yayoi-san. Anything."

I sigh, closing my eyes. I like cake, I like Yuiko, I like Yuiko, I love Yuiko.

"Well, it's just…do you remember the end of fifth grade…when we went to the park to work on our year end project?"

"Um…no…?"

"I asked you to go out with me, and you said no because I'm shorter than you…?"

She flushes. "I do now…I'm really sorry, Yayoi-san…I didn't mean to hurt your feelings…"

"It's okay. I know you weren't trying to hurt me, and I'm okay with it. You didn't like me like that and you told me. A lot of people would have lied."

"That wouldn't be nice!"

"No, and you're too nice to be mean to someone like that, including me."

She smiles and nods. 'Thanks, Yayoi-san."

"But…erm…see, the problem is…" You got this, son. Confidence.Focus. "I asked you to go out with me because I really did like you."

"Did?" She asks. "You don't now? I thought we were friends…?"

"No, we're friends. Best friends! Just back then I liked you so I asked you to go out with me and…er…I still like you…"

"O-Oh…!" She flushes. "Y-You do…Yayoi-san?"

"I do…"

It's my turn to blush as I scoot closer to her on the fountain. But not too close! I don't want to scare her.

"Y-Yui…I…I'm flattered…"

Such a big word. Her hair has fallen in her eyes so I gently move it, trying not to shake to let her feel how cold my hands were with the nerves.

"Sorry."

"It's okay…"

"But…um…I kind of wanted to ask…er…would it be okay if…if we…I mean would you like to…could you…er…" I sigh. "Could we give us a chance?" I blurt. "I mean, I get that you might not feel that way about me, and that's totally fine if you do. We'll still be friends, if you're okay with that, and I think you are. But…I…er…"

"Can I ask you something, Yayoi-san?"

"H-Hai…?"

"R-Ritsuka-kun…does he…um…does he know you do?"

"He does." I nod.

"And it's okay with him?"

"He encouraged me to ask you…"

"Oh…"

"Y-Yeah…"

"Did he…did he say he was gay just so I'd…so I'd realize we couldn't be together…?"

"I don't know why he did. He probably just did it because it felt like the right moment." I shrug. I don't want the conversation to go here, but I have to let it. "Yoji and Natsuo pick on him a lot about hiding it, so I guess she just wants that to end? I don't know."

"Oh." She rings her hands between her knees as silence takes over.

Natsuo was right, silence is annoying.

"Can I tell you something, Yayoi-san?"

"Hai, anything."

"Um…do you remember last year…when Ritsuka was out of town for a week…? Those girls were picking on me in the hallway, and…and you stepped in?"

"I remember. They were making fun of something. Your coat, right?"

She nods. "Y-Yeah…m-my coat…" Her blush deepens. "That…that was really nice of you…"

"Thanks…?" Where is she going with this?

"Yuiko thinks…I mean…I think that…I was so grateful that you stopped them from picking on me. Like Ritsuka-kun always does…" She gulps. "I…I sort of…I figured out that you l-liked me…you said I looked cute in my coat and that it was pretty. But…but you meant that I was pretty…right?"

"You're downright stunning, Yuiko…" I flush. "I-I meant both…"

She blushes. "I…I think I might…I…um…"

"You what?"

"The s-same…?"

"You…you like me?"

She nods quickly. "Yuiko is sorry she couldn't just come out and say it sooner…Yuiko isn't brave like…like you and Ritsuka-kun."

"You…you think I'm brave?"

"You stood up for me to those girls…and now…you're telling me that you like me…when I'm too afraid to tell you that I like you, too…that makes you brave…"

"Yuiko, I've spent the last week a nervous wreck preparing myself to tell you…I…I even had Natsuo and Ritsuka help me…Yoji would have, but he just made everything worse by being…well, by being himself."

"You asked for help?"

"Yeah…I was just going to say it when Ritsuka was with us to make it less awkward but…"

She blushes. "Y-Yeah…"

"So…um…are you saying…you'll give me…er…us a chance…?"

She closes her eyes and nibbles her lips as she nods. "B-But, we have to take it slow, okay!"

"Okay. Yeah, definitely!" I grin, blushing. "I…um…thanks…Yuiko."

"Y-You're welcome…"

I kiss her cheek. "Sorry…"

"It's okay." She looks up at me, smiling a little. "I don't mind."

Time stops and suddenly my lips are touching hers. It's light, it's brief, but it makes my heart race. She's not pushing me away. She's letting me kiss her! I pull away after a second that felt like a century.

"Was…erm…was that okay to do…?"

She nods. "Y-Yes…"

Ritsuka suddenly jogs back over camera in hand. "Hey, I'm back." He greets.

"R-Ritsuka-kun?" Yuiko asks. "Um…would it be okay with Yayoi-san and I…if we all hung out another day…?"

I blink in surprise. She'll do anything to spend time with him. What gives?

"Oh." He seems disheartened, and for a frightening moment I can't tell if it's an act or how he really feels. "Yeah, that's perfectly fine. Want me to have Kio and Akira give you guys a ride back closer to home."

She nods slowly. "Is there a water fountain?"

"Over there." He points.

She utters thanks and dashes off.

"Mind telling me what that was about?" He asks.

"I…I have no idea." I blink.

"How did it go?"

"You were watching, you should know."

"No, I really did forget my camera. Kio was walking to give it to me and I talked with him. I didn't see anything."

"Oh…um…well…she l-likes me too…"

"Oh?" His ears pop up. "That's good! And?"

"I asked if she'd give me a chance and…she said yes…?"

"Well alright, Yayoi" He slaps me gently on the back. "I told you."

"Thanks…and tell Natsuo thank you, too."

"I will when we talk alter. He's gonna want to know details."

"You can tell him I kissed her."

He laughs. "Oh, wait, you're serious, shit."

"Yeah…I didn't mean to. I just did…but she was okay with it."

"And now she wants alone time." He winks. "I get it."

"Hentai."

"Not even." He laughs, pulling out his phone to text for a ride.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hai?"

"The other day…when Natsuo and Yoji interrupted us at the café? You were chastising them for picking on you about the Soubi thing, right?"

"Hai?"

"And you've been real secretive about the whole Soubi thing, saying you don't know how you feel, right?"

"Hai?"

"And then today you just come out and say it out of nowhere?"

"Hai?"

"Why?"

"Felt right, I don't know." There's a smirk tugging at his lips as he shrugs at me.

"You…you were helping me, weren't you? She was right."

"What?"

"Yuiko thought you came out and said it so she'd stop going after you."

"She seriously asked that?" He laughs, running a hand through his hair. "For god's sake, Yuiko. Perceptive much?" He sighed. "Yeah, I did it to distract her. She knows I'm gay and she has no chance with me. She won't be thinking about that when you try and tell her how you feel about her."

"Thanks…but you didn't have to out yourself."

He shrugs. "It's going to be a lot easier when I do officially. No more lying about Soubi and shit."

"You mean how you feel? He's not secretly here, is he?"

"I live with Kio and Akira, and Natsuo and Yoji have free rein and ownership of his apartment. He's an artist with no job or source of income. Where would he go?"

"Good point."

Yuiko joins us again. "I'm back!"

"I see." Ritsuka smiles. "They should be here soon."

Yuiko takes my hand as we both blush and follow Ritsuka to the car.

000

I spend the rest of the day with Yuiko, learning what her boundaries were and what mine were. We discussed things like how we'd spend time together outside of school without our friends, and who would plan what. Valentine's Day and White Day were split, as were holidays. We'd spend eves with each other and days of with our respective parents. We'd come to a pretty easy and mutual agreement and, honestly, I like it that way.

It's been two years now since that day. I could never thank Ritsuka enough for what he did, or the Sagan brothers. They didn't help as much, what with Ritsuka outing himself. It took him a couple days to tell the twins, then about a month and a half to come out to the school. Soubi hadn't shown up yet, so he'd eventually taken the advice of Akira and the twins and moved on. Taku seemed like a decent enough guy, but he needed some work on being a boyfriend. Yuiko said he should take lessons from me. Ha! How funny. High school graduation is coming. We're all going to different schools. Yoji and Natsuo say they have business in Gora, and Ritsuka says he does, too, but he's not going to join them just yet. Yuiko is going to go to school for teaching in Kyoto, and I'm going to a local college here in Tokyo for editing. We're still close and everything, and we're always going to be.

Sitting in the park near our house, where Soubi and Ritsuka first kissed-according to Ritsuka anyway. He was more open about Soubi and everything like that now that he was out-I kiss her on the cheek.

"You look lovely." I say for the millionth time that night.

And she does. She's wearing a long red gown and red flats that match. We've just come from prom and are spending time alone together. Taku and Ritsuka went off to his place or something, and Yoji and Natsuo were banned from prom after they rigged some prom parade floats to fall down.

"Thank you, Yayoi." She says in response, giving me a small smile.

I kiss her cheek. "I brought you here to ask you something."

"You're…you're not asking what I think you are…are you?"

"No, no, nothing like that. We're still in school, not even eighteen."

She giggles. "I guess you're right."

"You're my girlfriend and everything, and I love that." I hand her a box. "But this is for you…so when you go off to school, you'll always think of me."

"I always think of you now." She opens it to find a pretty heart shaped locket with a ruby pendant inside; ruby for the month we got together. "Yayoi, this is beautiful!"
I help her put it on. "Ritsuka helped me pick it out."

"He's a nice boy."

"Yes. Yes, he is."

If only she knew how nice.