Disclaimer: Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda but Don't Cant and Ain't ever gunna.
Note: Yeah well this is like I dunno I guess after all the book (easier that way) and Boromir, (yeah he's dead but he's back so d-e-a-l!) Aragorn and Legolas all go camping but then their mom's appear (I don't care if they're dead) and embarrass their little boys. (I dunno names so Ill just call 'em their moms. I'll make corrections after I finish the 3rd book and the Silamrilion.)
"Why do I always have to get the fire wood?" Boromir grumbled picking up some dry wood, which was hard to find after last night's rain. He was busy muttering that he almost didn't see the elderly lady sitting under a tree and muttering to a map.
"Oh I'm sorry Madam, I didn't see you there." He said as he almost tripped over her.
"I'm too young to be a Madam!" She said standing up rather quickly for her age and pinching his ear in between her thumb and forefinger.
"Now have you seen my son?"
"What does he look like?" Boromir gasped in pain, bending down so the elderly lady wouldn't be swinging from his ear.
"He is the most handsome boy in all of middle-earth."
"Uh… does he have a name?"
"Aragorn is what I named him."
Boromir gapped at the short, quick-witted lady who was his companion's mother.
"He's in a clearing, I can take you to him."
"March!" She bellowed, just like a general.
So he led the way back into the clearing, slightly leaning because Aragorn's mother refused to let go of his ear and the weight of the wood wasn't much easier.
"Aragorn there is someone here to see you!" Boromir called.
Aragorn heard fear in Boromir's voice and drew his sword before coming around the bend of trees. There he saw Boromir hunched over beside a woman, who if Boromir was standing up straight would come up to his waist. She had a familiar look about the eyes and had a nose that resembled his own.
"Aragorn I can see you, you never where all that great at hiding, how you ever became a Ranger, I'll never know, now come and give your Mumsies a big kiss." She barked yanking down on Boromir's ear.
"Mamma?" Aragorn asked coming out.
"Of course its me. Or have you forgotten?" She said beginning to lie on the guilt. "I have to come through these terrifying woods, and get wet in the rain and then be giving a heart attack by your friend here, and you don't even come and kiss your dear old mother?"
"Your not old Mumsies, I'm sorry for what Boromir did to you come rest by the fire."
"Boromir?" Aragorn's mother said her voice changed to a brisk-paced bark. "You're that brat always talking about ruling Gondor."
"Er…That was so long ago Ms. Aragorn's-Charming-Mother."
At this she blushed before turning to Aragorn. "Why don't you say kind things to your dear old Mum?"
"I'm sorry Momma, here ill carry you to the fire."
"It's a good thing you remembered my poor weak knees." She said gracefully springing onto Aragorn's back.
Just then Legolas returned from filling up their water skins. "And who is this enchanting young woman?" He asked trying to compliment the woman who both Boromir and Aragorn seemed scared stiff of.
"Look here Elf you just keep your eyes on the road if you catch my drift. I'm Aragorn's proud Momma." She said pinching her son's cheek.
Legolas faltered, this was the last thing he'd expect her to say.
"Sorry Mother." He said bowing his head, to Aragorn he said. "Oh I found someone in the woods, she'll be along shortly something about an album."
Just then a woman about a head taller then Aragorn's mother came out carrying large leather bound book.
"Mommy?" Boromir asked.
"Bo-Bo!" The lady called affectionately.
"You left my mother in the forest all alone?" He said advancing on Legolas.
"She was carrying a Blade about as long as my own." He said in defence.
"That's her butter knife! Orcs could have attacked my dear Mommy."
"Bo-Bo come help me with my bags." She called.
Boromir began to haul bag after bag out of the woods and into their camp. Soon Aragorn's mother ordered Aragorn to help and just had to glance at Legolas and soon all three of them were carrying the floral blue bags into the camp.
During dinner:
"Yes, and here is a picture of Bo-Bo and Fay-Fay in the tub together." Boromir's mother said pointing to a picture of Faramir and Boromir in a white tub with mud all over their faces and brown handprint all over the walls.
"Precious! Aragorn used to hate baths and would wave his little tush in the air, it was the cutest thing you've ever seen, though he still appears not to bathe.."
Aragorn and Boromir were sitting beside Legolas with their hands covering their faces.
"What would the rest of the Fellowship think if they could see us now?" Boromir said.
"It's not that bad." Legolas said secretly smirking.
"Shut up, you are so lucky your mom isn't here."
Just then! "Legolas! Legolas where are you? LEGOLAS!"
"Oh no!" Legolas said as Aragorn and Boromir's heads shot up to see a lovely woman dressed in white with golden flowing hair, much like their companion's. She didn't look old but had an ora of wisdom and many generations seen. A silver light seemed to pulsate around her.
Legolas immediately noticed the drool coming out of his friend's mouths.
"She's my mom!" He reminded them.
They both immediately turned their faces away but kept their eyes on the glowing figure.
"Come to me my son." She said in a gentle voice.
Legolas stood up and silently walked to his mother.
"My son," She said caressing his cheek. Then she suddenly grabbed his cheeks and pushed his face tighter so his lips made that fish look. "Why haven't you written me in the last 200 years? Too important to send me a letter?"
"Mom! You know it's been the guys and me. We just got back from our quest to destroy the One Ring and stop the Dark Lord."
"Oh and I am so sure you couldn't find one moment to write me a short note about this? I had to find out from Elrond, while getting a lembas recipe."
"Look I'm sorry Moth-"
"Hello I'm Legolas' Mother." She said pushing her son away and extending a hand to Boromir's mother.
"Boromir's mother but you can call him Bo-Bo."
"And the one who is too high and mighty to take a bath is mine. I'm Aragorn's mother."
"Pleasure to meet you two." She said sitting down beside the two.
"Something tells me it's gunna be a long way back to Rivendell." Aragorn said to his two companions who were trying to block out the stories their mothers had begun to tell about their childhoods.
Note: Yeah well this is like I dunno I guess after all the book (easier that way) and Boromir, (yeah he's dead but he's back so d-e-a-l!) Aragorn and Legolas all go camping but then their mom's appear (I don't care if they're dead) and embarrass their little boys. (I dunno names so Ill just call 'em their moms. I'll make corrections after I finish the 3rd book and the Silamrilion.)
"Why do I always have to get the fire wood?" Boromir grumbled picking up some dry wood, which was hard to find after last night's rain. He was busy muttering that he almost didn't see the elderly lady sitting under a tree and muttering to a map.
"Oh I'm sorry Madam, I didn't see you there." He said as he almost tripped over her.
"I'm too young to be a Madam!" She said standing up rather quickly for her age and pinching his ear in between her thumb and forefinger.
"Now have you seen my son?"
"What does he look like?" Boromir gasped in pain, bending down so the elderly lady wouldn't be swinging from his ear.
"He is the most handsome boy in all of middle-earth."
"Uh… does he have a name?"
"Aragorn is what I named him."
Boromir gapped at the short, quick-witted lady who was his companion's mother.
"He's in a clearing, I can take you to him."
"March!" She bellowed, just like a general.
So he led the way back into the clearing, slightly leaning because Aragorn's mother refused to let go of his ear and the weight of the wood wasn't much easier.
"Aragorn there is someone here to see you!" Boromir called.
Aragorn heard fear in Boromir's voice and drew his sword before coming around the bend of trees. There he saw Boromir hunched over beside a woman, who if Boromir was standing up straight would come up to his waist. She had a familiar look about the eyes and had a nose that resembled his own.
"Aragorn I can see you, you never where all that great at hiding, how you ever became a Ranger, I'll never know, now come and give your Mumsies a big kiss." She barked yanking down on Boromir's ear.
"Mamma?" Aragorn asked coming out.
"Of course its me. Or have you forgotten?" She said beginning to lie on the guilt. "I have to come through these terrifying woods, and get wet in the rain and then be giving a heart attack by your friend here, and you don't even come and kiss your dear old mother?"
"Your not old Mumsies, I'm sorry for what Boromir did to you come rest by the fire."
"Boromir?" Aragorn's mother said her voice changed to a brisk-paced bark. "You're that brat always talking about ruling Gondor."
"Er…That was so long ago Ms. Aragorn's-Charming-Mother."
At this she blushed before turning to Aragorn. "Why don't you say kind things to your dear old Mum?"
"I'm sorry Momma, here ill carry you to the fire."
"It's a good thing you remembered my poor weak knees." She said gracefully springing onto Aragorn's back.
Just then Legolas returned from filling up their water skins. "And who is this enchanting young woman?" He asked trying to compliment the woman who both Boromir and Aragorn seemed scared stiff of.
"Look here Elf you just keep your eyes on the road if you catch my drift. I'm Aragorn's proud Momma." She said pinching her son's cheek.
Legolas faltered, this was the last thing he'd expect her to say.
"Sorry Mother." He said bowing his head, to Aragorn he said. "Oh I found someone in the woods, she'll be along shortly something about an album."
Just then a woman about a head taller then Aragorn's mother came out carrying large leather bound book.
"Mommy?" Boromir asked.
"Bo-Bo!" The lady called affectionately.
"You left my mother in the forest all alone?" He said advancing on Legolas.
"She was carrying a Blade about as long as my own." He said in defence.
"That's her butter knife! Orcs could have attacked my dear Mommy."
"Bo-Bo come help me with my bags." She called.
Boromir began to haul bag after bag out of the woods and into their camp. Soon Aragorn's mother ordered Aragorn to help and just had to glance at Legolas and soon all three of them were carrying the floral blue bags into the camp.
During dinner:
"Yes, and here is a picture of Bo-Bo and Fay-Fay in the tub together." Boromir's mother said pointing to a picture of Faramir and Boromir in a white tub with mud all over their faces and brown handprint all over the walls.
"Precious! Aragorn used to hate baths and would wave his little tush in the air, it was the cutest thing you've ever seen, though he still appears not to bathe.."
Aragorn and Boromir were sitting beside Legolas with their hands covering their faces.
"What would the rest of the Fellowship think if they could see us now?" Boromir said.
"It's not that bad." Legolas said secretly smirking.
"Shut up, you are so lucky your mom isn't here."
Just then! "Legolas! Legolas where are you? LEGOLAS!"
"Oh no!" Legolas said as Aragorn and Boromir's heads shot up to see a lovely woman dressed in white with golden flowing hair, much like their companion's. She didn't look old but had an ora of wisdom and many generations seen. A silver light seemed to pulsate around her.
Legolas immediately noticed the drool coming out of his friend's mouths.
"She's my mom!" He reminded them.
They both immediately turned their faces away but kept their eyes on the glowing figure.
"Come to me my son." She said in a gentle voice.
Legolas stood up and silently walked to his mother.
"My son," She said caressing his cheek. Then she suddenly grabbed his cheeks and pushed his face tighter so his lips made that fish look. "Why haven't you written me in the last 200 years? Too important to send me a letter?"
"Mom! You know it's been the guys and me. We just got back from our quest to destroy the One Ring and stop the Dark Lord."
"Oh and I am so sure you couldn't find one moment to write me a short note about this? I had to find out from Elrond, while getting a lembas recipe."
"Look I'm sorry Moth-"
"Hello I'm Legolas' Mother." She said pushing her son away and extending a hand to Boromir's mother.
"Boromir's mother but you can call him Bo-Bo."
"And the one who is too high and mighty to take a bath is mine. I'm Aragorn's mother."
"Pleasure to meet you two." She said sitting down beside the two.
"Something tells me it's gunna be a long way back to Rivendell." Aragorn said to his two companions who were trying to block out the stories their mothers had begun to tell about their childhoods.