I´m going to help you.
-Thorin – a distant voice was calling him. - Thorin, wake up.
When he opened his eyes, he saw a well known face.
-Balin? What happens?
He had a terrible headache.
-Keep calm, you are fine. We´ve almost lost you, but you have been strong.
-Where I am?
-Thorin? - he heared a new voice. He moved his eyes and he saw the hobbit Bilbo Baggins, who was standing on the door of the room. Was this place Erebor? Was him in Erebor? He just knew he was lying in a comfortable bed. His headache was so frightful that he could not think anything else.
-Is he better?
-Yes, Bilbo. As Gandalf said, he has woken up, but don´t overwhelm him.
-Gandalf? Wait, where I am? What´s going on?
-Thorin, please, keep calm, you have to...
Gandalf, the journey, Erebor, the elves, the men, Smaug, the battle,... Fíli.
-Where is Fíli? - Thorin remembered suddenly. - Where is Fíli?
Balin and Bilbo looked at each other, and memories arrived Thorin´s mind. His nephew, his heir, felt in the trap. Azog had killed him. Azog...
-And Kíli?
Both of them kept on silence.
-Where is Kíli? Where is my nephew?
Nothing.
-Where? Where is my nephew?!
-Thorin, please...
-Kíli! Kíli!
-Thorin!
-Thorin, Thorin, wake up.
Thorin opened his eyes slowly. The nightmare, once more. And once more, to wape up to discover that it was true.
-The nightmare again? - asked Dwalin.
-Yes – replied Thorin, tired. - Again.
-You have to get dressed. They get back today.
Reality felt over Thorin like cold water. That day, the first caravans of dwarves arrived from Ered Luin. But for him, it was not a source of joy.
He went down to have breakfast with his companions. He sat next to Bilbo. The hobbit, who had decided to stay in Erebor until Thorin´s coronation, would give him courage.
At midday, the first carriages began to arrive. The eleven dwarves, the hobbit and the wizard Gandalf were situated on the entry of the kingdom, waiting to receive them. Thorin had dressed with his better clothes and his crown, to show everybody that the mountain had retourned to his king. Doors opened, and many dwarves began to go out from the cars. They were all looking fascinated to the ancient kingdom built into the mountain. His companions left the composure very soon, and they ran to reunite with their families and loved ones. Bofur was kissing to his mother, his brother and his nephew; Dwalin was embrassing his lover, as Balin was hailing to his future sister in law; Gloin was crying as he was reuniting with his son, who looked so much like him...
Between people, Thorin saw a dwarf with brown hair who had just gone out from a car. She was quiet, with her sight empty. She wasn´t laughing, she wasn´t criyng. She was just looking around her. Then, she saw him, and he felt little, dirty, … broken. She looked at him with fury, with hate, with reproach, with guilt, with hurt. She lead him all the hurt she had suffered for six months, since the battle; and he felt it himself, and it was addited to the hurt that he suffered himself.
-Dís, I´m sorry – he tryed to direct her his thoughs. - Forgive me.
But the dwarf just rounded and she came into the car again. Thorin knew she had done that to cry alone.
While everybody was eating on the dining room, Thorin was in his room, thinking about an idea that he could not make dissapear. For the first time in years, he wanted to go away, to return to Ered Luin to live a simple live. How would he become a king, if he couldn´t protect his heirs? How would he take care of a kingdom, if he had left his nephews to go with him on an mad adventure? Dís had told him, she had prayed him, to left them on Ered Luin, they were young, the could not have the same destiny that his father, his husband, had. She said they could not leave her alone. And what did he said? They were not children, he could not force them to stay, they could make their own decissions. And now, they were dead. Woul his sister talk to him again some day? He hated everything. He hated himself.
-So, here you are.
No, please, not that voice, not in that moment...
-I´ve been looking for you. The old man with the hat has told me where I could find you. Iwant you to know that I think it´s rude to leave a lady looking for you by this way.
Thorin ignored her; maybe, she would go away. By contrast, he felt a hand over his shoulder.
-I want to be alone.
At the moment, he felt bad for what he had said.
-Really?
Thorin forced himself to turn around, and he saw the most beautiful face of Middle Earth, looking at him with eyes fulled of compassion. Something inside of him made him embrace the young one, and he started to cry on his shoulder.
-I am an stupid, a miserable, a wretched...
-Thorin! Don´t say that – said the young girl, obviously surprised about the other´s attitude.
-Yes, I am. My nephews, they … - he didn´t finish, and he went on crying.
-My love, please, calm down.
She let him cry. When he stopped, he felt a bit better.
-It´s fine – said the lady to him, and she kissed him. The heart of the king stopped beating when he felt these lips again. She embraced him again, and she began to kiss him on his check.
-I love you, I love you... - she was saying to his hear.
-I do not deserve you. I am a killer, I do not deserve you, Graella.
She looked at him scared.
-But, what are you saying? Thorin, really, stop now, please.
-I sent them here, and I could not protect them.
- They followed you themselves.
-And I let them. I was sending them to a sure death. I knew that.
-You couldn´t force them to stay there. They would have gone with you by all the ways. They loved you. Thorin, we all knew where did you go and what could happen, but we could not do anything. It was your decission. You think you sister wanted you to go on this journey? Do you think she hadn´t cried if... if you had died?
Graella had tears on her eyes, and his lover noticed that.
-It has been terrible, for everybody. When the news of Fíli and Kíli arrived us, our hires broke. But the new that you were stucked in the middle, was even worst. You could live, but you could die too. And we were on the other side of the world. Do you know what is that? Your sister was always praying. The hope that you ´d live was the only thing that kept her alive. You are the only thing she has. And I... I don´t know how many times I have hated you. To you, because you decided to leave; to my father, because he did not leave us to get married before because of his scare for me to get widow; and to you again because to did what he said... I ´ ve hated so many people... But now I see you, and hate goes away. I love you Thorin, and I only want to be with you, anything else. Marry you, become a queen, I don´t care the responsabilities it takes. And I know it does not help you, but, in a future, when everything will be alright, I´d want to … have sons, to have a family – she said getting red. - We can start a new page when the moment arrives, and deaths will pass, and new births will arrive. I will be here, Thorin, even if you don´t like it. Now i´m not afraid. You are not alone – she said catching his hand. - I´m going to help you.
Thorin looked at his lover, so young, so much younger than him. He felt an energy inside of him. He felt a peace he did not felt in so much time. And then, he noticed he was smiling. He got approach to the dwarf who had stolen his hire, and he kissed her, slowly and gently, as he caressed her hand. When their lips separated from each other, the mainteined their fronts united.
-I love you too, Graella. With all my heart. And even if pain gnaws me, even if strengths fail me, I´m going to help you too. I promise you – he said, kissing her again. - I swear you.