Title : The Melting Snow Party
Disclaimer : I do not own Saiunkoku Monogatari. It belongs to Sai Yukino.
Rating : T
Genre : Humour/ Family (?)/Angst (a tiny bit)
Warnings : Yaoi
Pairings : Reishin/Kijin, Koyu/Shuei
Summary : Even in stable, loving relationships, little and not so little insecurities can persist. One bugbear in each of the two relationships melts away with the snow.
Notes :
(1) The events/days are not presented chronologically. This is not a gimmick. It is necessary in controlling how and when information is revealed to the reader. So, dear reader, please bear with it! ^_^
(2) This fanfic was written in response to the LiveJournal Saiun_Challenge prompt "Melting Snow".
PLEASE REVIEW. EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A MEMBER, I APPRECIATE YOUR NOT-LOGGED-IN COMMENTS (MY RESPONSE WILL BE ON THE REVIEW PAGE IF I CAN'T SEND YOU A PM).
One Day BEFORE the Party
Reishin stared at the ornate invitation cards suspiciously. Gold words on a deep indigo background. He gestured to Kijin to open them. Kijin picked up the one addressed to himself, opened it, and read out the invitation.
Reishin's snake eyes narrowed to bare slits.
"Have you EVER heard of Melting Snow Parties, Kijin? Since when do people gather to 'watch the passing of winter'? What do you suppose it means?"
"I believe it means revenge, my Dumpling. Against you, naturally."
Even behind the mask, Reishin could almost see Kijin smirking.
"Be a little more helpful, Kijin! Of course I know they are up to something! But, what?"
Reishin pressed the tip of his closed fan against his chin.
"Laxatives? No, no, that's too uncouth. Not at all Koyu."
He stood up, and started pacing, tapping his fan absently against his palm.
Kijin watched. Through the thick silk layers of Reishin's court skirts, Kijin could still discern the full-bodied curves. Unsolicited, a vision of Reishin's voluptuous cheeks, unclothed, floated before Kijin.
Dumplings. Firm, plump, succulent Reishin-dumplings.
Kijin swallowed. Reluctantly, he banished the thought. He removed his mask and closed his eyes, grateful for the chilly early spring air against his flushed cheeks.
It was too much to hope for, that Reishin wouldn't pick up on his errant thoughts. Kijin opened his eyes to find his very unaccommodating Dumpling glaring at him.
"Kijin, do you MIND? I need your brains in the right part of your body!"
Kijin flushed.
"Sorry, Dumpl … Reishin."
"Well, any ideas?"
"Drug your wine? Get you drunk?"
Reishin snorted, delicately.
"Obviously, your brain is not home yet. You know that Koyu knows that all I do is fall asleep when I'm drunk. What's the fun in that revenge? I never disgrace myself when drunk. Unlike YOU."
Reishin gave Kijin a withering look.
Kijin shifted in his seat, and quickly changed the subject.
"Reishin, we don't HAVE to go. We could make some excuse."
"I would rather DIE than admit defeat!"
Two Days BEFORE the Party
Koyu, squatting, scratched in the snow with a twig. He read what he wrote, and nodded almost imperceptibly. He shifted his weight, rested his elbows on his knees, laced his fingers, and with his chin on his laced fingers, settled down to watch the snow melt away in the morning sun.
From where he was hiding, Shuei couldn't see Koyu's face. Shuei's heart hurt trying to picture Koyu's expression.
If Lord Reishin's guess is right, Koyu's strange ritual of watching his words melt away with the snow has to do with being sexually abused by his mother.
Shuei hesitated. His heart was pounding.
Should I really do it?
The first step of the plan was to knock Koyu down by surprise, before he could erase the words with his boots like he always did when someone approached. The second step was to read what Koyu wrote, thereby forcing Koyu to talk about it.
Is it really the right thing to do? Shouldn't Koyu be allowed to have his secret pain?
When Shuei had suggested that, Lord Reishin had coldly said, 'Coward'. Shuei flushed at the recollection.
He's right, of course, I'm terrified. But Lord Reishin had been right twice before. This HAS to be the right thing to do.
Shuei, using his greater body weight to pin Koyu to the ground, turned to read the words in the snow.
Shuei has never, not once, said "I love you".
But he has shown, in countless ways, that he does.
I've come to accept that words are not important.
So, ironically, with these words, I let go of this petty unhappiness, and watch it melt away with the snow.
Koyu felt Shuei's hold on him slacken. Using all of his strength, he threw Shuei off, and without a word, stormed off.
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
Koyu sat on the bed, seething. He wasn't even sure what or who was the target of his anger.
Himself? Shuei? Fate?
Probably all three!
How did it come to this?
Just as I was ready to let go of this issue, it has to blow up like this!
Now what am I supposed to say to Shuei?
And, what is Shuei supposed to SAY after reading that?
"Koyu, can I come in?"
Koyu nodded, not turning to look at Shuei. He felt the mattress shift as Shuei sat down next to him.
"Shuei, you don't have to say anything. That was a letting-go ritual that I do, when I've resolved something within myself. The key word here is resolved - it's in the past. We don't need to talk about this. Ever."
"No, Koyu, I think this was meant to happen. Once those words melted away, I would never have known how unhappy I've made you."
"That's not true! It was just a petty thing that bugged me. It's not important."
"Koyu, I WANT to tell you why I can't say those words."
Koyu stiffened slightly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the reason. But it's too late to continue pretending.
"Alright, Shuei, tell me."
Koyu turned his head to look directly into Shuei's eyes. In the deep violet swirls he saw confusion, regret, humiliation. Watching Shuei struggle to bring out the words, Koyu laced his fingers through Shuei's.
"It's alright, Shuei, you can tell me."
"They've lost their meaning. I've over-used them. They've become mere sounds, which accompany an orgasm. I … Koyu, I just couldn't say those words to you."
Koyu was silent for a while.
"Thank you, Shuei. You can't say them, but NOW I can, without worrying about the awkward silence that follows."
Wiping away his tears, Koyu grinned.
"I'm going to say them till you get sick of it!"
Koyu pushed Shuei down onto the bed, and begun undressing him.
"I love you, Ran Shuei."
One hundred and thirty two I-Love-You-s later, Koyu dozed off, entwined in Shuei's arms. Shuei, satiated, and warmed by Koyu's professions of love, decided to nap too.
We'll be scandalously late for work, but who cares …
Three Days BEFORE the Party
"You did WHAT?"
Kijin removed his mask to better massage his throbbing temples.
"Reishin, Koyu didn't speak to you for WEEKS after you sneaked a peek at what he wrote in the snow. And you're his father. What do you think Koyu would do to Shuei for invading his privacy?"
"It's Shuei's fault for coming to ask me such a thing! Besides, what I said to him about Koyu's mother, I really did think that was the case. You KNOW that, Kijin! That was why I tricked Koyu into not rubbing out the words with his boot."
Reishin fanned himself in agitation.
"How was I to know Koyu was performing a letting-go ritual for braised pig's trotters?"
"I know. That son of yours is quite insane. That last sentence, I let go of this unhealthy craving, and watch it melt away with the snow – honestly!"
Kijin chuckled.
"To think you had to live through Koyu's cold war for braised pig's trotters! Even so, you shouldn't bully Shuei. You're awful, Reishin."
Kijin paused, cocking his head.
"It's almost like Lord Shoka used up all the NICE, and left you with none."
"At least I've got personality!"
The corner of Reishin's lip lifted.
"You could say Kuro was left with none."
"What did your little brother ever do to deserve that remark? Like I always say, Reishin, you are NOT nice."
Not hearing the expected barbed rejoinder, Kijin turned to look up at Reishin, who was perched on the arm of his chair. Reishin was facing straight ahead, eyes closed. Kijin studied the handsome profile. The set of the mouth was stubborn, sensitive.
"Do you even LIKE me, Kijin?"
Kijin started. This was not like Reishin.
"I do like you, Dumpling."
Kijin placed his hand on Reishin's thigh.
Reishin hissed.
"I DON'T mean in bed, you bastard!"
Reishin pulled his thigh from under Kijin's hand, and got off the arm of the chair in a flash.
Kijin was stunned.
What's eating Reishin?
Not knowing what's going on, Kijin decided he would deal with the immediate issue first.
"Reishin, I wouldn't dream of using the word like to describe how I feel for you, bed-wise. It's way too lame. "
Kijin paused, watching Reishin carefully.
"I meant I DO like you, outside of bed."
"Really?"
Reishin's lower lip quivered. He bit on it, hard.
"Do you really mean that, Kijin?"
Kijin had rarely seen Reishin look so vulnerable and uncertain. He wanted, very much, to take Reishin into his arms, but he didn't, remembering Reishin's violent reaction when his thigh was touched.
"Why do you doubt that?"
"You are always telling me that I'm petty, awful…"
"You can't possibly think I mean that! You always gave as good as you got. If I were to believe all the insults you have heaped upon me, I wouldn't still be with you after all these years!"
"That's the whole point, Kijin! You don't have a choice. Whether you like me or not, you can't leave!"
Kijin stared at his lover in absolute and total non-comprehension.
I don't have a choice? I CAN'T leave? How is it I do not know that?
"Reishin, please, what do you think is stopping me from leaving you?"
"You want me to spell it out?"
"Yes."
"You can't get it up with anyone else."
The seconds ticked by. The silence became oppressive.
It exploded with Kijin's laughter.
"You IDIOT! That's no longer true. For some time, now."
Reishin absorbed that information.
"Why didn't you TELL me? Ohh! I'm going to kill you!"
"It never occurred to me that you would WANT me to react to anyone other than you! I mean, anyone would feel privileged to have exclusive rights to his lover, especially to THAT extent. On top of being not nice, you are seriously warped!"
Reishin threw himself at Kijin.
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
"There! What do you think?"
Kijin read the words Reishin scratched in the snow.
At eighteen, I was proud to be the one responsible for Kijin's first-ever erection.
At twenty, I started to feel the pressure of Kijin's inability to get it up with anyone else.
I began to wonder if that was the only reason Kijin started, and maintained, a relationship with me.
One hour ago, when talking about Koyu's letting-go ritual, I became saddened that I could never let go of this feeling of insecurity.
Now, with these words, I let go of my more-than-a-decade-old insecurity, and watch it melt away with the snow.
After which, I am going to kill Kijin for making me suffer unnecessarily!
"Hmm. Take away that last line."
Reishin's eyes glinted.
"Make me."
Koyu heard a squeal from the courtyard outside the Department of Personnel. It sounded suspiciously like Reishin. He got up from his desk and walked to the window.
It WAS Reishin, running around the courtyard, pursued by the masked Kijin. Kijin caught Reishin and proceeded to stuff snow down the front of Reishin's shirt.
Koyu grinned broadly. These long-time lovers are truly inspirational. Something for Shuei and himself to emulate. The wetness started to show down the front of Reishin's shirt as the snow melted.
Ah, yes. It's time I did a melting snow ritual. I'm ready to let go of THAT.
The Day of the Melting Snow Party
Shuei practically ran all the way to the kitchen.
"Koyu!"
Koyu looked up from arranging the shrimp dumplings in the steamer.
"Koyu. What are we going to do? Lord Shoka brought Lord Kuro! Lord Shoka apologized profusely, saying his brother had dropped by Kyo, and he couldn't leave him without dinner. It was supposed to be just the four of us, plus Lord Shoka!"
Koyu pondered.
"We'll go ahead with the plan. Shuei, you did say you're confident of stopping it before things got out of hand, didn't you?"
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
Kijin picked up the shrimp dumpling with his chopsticks.
My favourite. How nice of Koyu to make them.
Using his left hand, Kijin activated the lever that allowed the mouth panel of his mask to drop. He held the steaming hot dumpling, poised and ready, and adjusted his mask to allow the aroma of the dumpling to reach his nostrils. Kijin LIKED smelling his food, and the mask does interfere with that pleasure, unless he made this special effort. And he wanted to accord the proper amount of respect to Koyu's dumplings.
The aroma filled his mask. Kijin drank it in.
Shrimps. Lots of spring onions. A hint of ginger. Light soy sauce. A touch of vinegar.
Kijinfroze.
ALCOHOL!
Kijin laughed silently.
Koyu. How devious. Did he assume I couldn't smell the alcohol with my mask on?
Using MY weakness to get back at Reishin. Brilliant.
What shall I do now?
Kijin opened his mouth and very deliberately ate the shrimp dumpling.
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Brother Shoka, Brother Reishin. Secretary Ko is acting … strangely."
Reishin looked sharply at Kuro.
"What do you mean, strangely?"
"He's sitting on the floor, repeating the word dumpling over and over. He's rejected all flavours of dumplings offered to him."
Reishin blanched.
He knows better than to drink! And the food's safe, I've tasted every dish!
The three brothers hurried into the room.
Oh. My. God.
He's CRAWLING!
Reishin glared at Koyu and Shuei, standing shoulder to shoulder, grinning back at him.
How did they DO it? It has to be the shrimp dumplings. Koyu knows Kijin loves them.
Reishin scrutinized the trays of dumplings.
THAT'S the tray! The dough wrap is folded a little differently. I was too careless!
"DUMPLING!"
Reishin realized, too late, that Kijin had crawled up behind him.
Watching Reishin struggling on the floor with Kijin, Shoka wondered what to do. He knew that Kijin was faking it. Nothing escapes the observational skills of The Black Wolf. He had witnessed Kijin, in a dark corner of the garden, regurgitating the six shrimp dumplings he ingested under the watchful eyes of Koyu and Shuei. Obviously their hosts were responsible for whatever prank this was. But why did Kijin play along? How far will he take it?
Shoka felt an urgent tugging on his sleeve.
"Brother Shoka, Secretary Ko is undressing Brother Reishin!"
Kijin had skillfully achieved the maximum effect with minimum exposure. The only real "undressing" was the loosened collar of Reishin's outer shirt, exposing nothing more than the white inner shirt beneath. But somehow, with the deep maroon of the starched collar just skimming off Reishin's shoulder, and with strands of Reishin's now unbound hair draped seductively over that same shoulder, Reishin looked … like he was about to faint!
Just as Shoka decided to intervene, he saw Shuei move. Shuei pulled Kijin off Reishin, checked that Reishin was alright, and turned his attention back to Kijin.
Shuei froze. Kijin, who had his back to the rest of the room, had pulled his mask down a few inches to reveal his eyes. Shuei wasn't sure what shocked him more, the mind-blowing beauty of those eyes, or the fact that they were very much sober, and even winked at him.
The synchronization was flawless. No one, except The Black Wolf, saw anything fake about the knock-out blow Shuei delivered to Kijin's head.
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
Reishin watched in silence as Shuei deposited Kijin on the bed in the guest room.
"Goodnight, Lord Reishin. If there's anything you need, just ask the servants."
Reishin glared at Shuei in an accusatory manner.
"I can't very well ask your servants for sex, can I?"
"Huh?"
"Really, Shuei, did you HAVE to knock him out cold?"
Shuei burst out laughing.
"Look behind you, Lord Reishin."
"KIJIN! What? How could you, you traitor!"
"I'll be your servant tonight, Dumpling. To atone for betraying you."
Shuei closed the door behind himself just as Kijin sealed Reishin's lips. Shuei smiled in amusement. It's really fun to be around that couple. They are so openly and blatantly horny, it's just unbelievable. And how did Koyu turn out so different?
Koyu is, well, a lot of things, depending on the situation. But, more often than not, he is bashfully horny. And THAT, is a major turn-on!
Shuei quickened his steps, hurrying back to his bedroom at an almost indecent pace.
o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+o+
In the carriage ride back to Shoka's manor, Kuro racked his brain trying to think of something to say that didn't refer to Second Brother's humiliation.
"Brother Shoka, is it a common practice in Kyo to hold Melting Snow Parties?"
Shoka chuckled.
"I hardly think so, Kuro."
[The End]
Notes :
(1) Koyu's abuse by his mother is a known fact in this story. The first mention of this is in chapter 6 of my fanfic Twin Irises.
(2) Shuei's mention that Reishin had been right twice refers to the two instances when Reishin stepped in to help straighten out Shuei and Koyu's relationship, in chapters 4 and 6 of Twin Irises.
(3) Koyu's "petty unhappiness" is a follow-up on chapter 5 of Twin Irises, where Koyu was hesitant about moving in with Shuei, partly because Shuei had never said "I love you" after five months of being lovers.
(4) Reishin being responsible for Kijin's first-ever erection is a reference to the story Reishin told of how he first met Kijin, in chapter 7 of Twin Irises.
(5) This note is for those who have read, or will read, my fanfic Reishin's Spy. Chronologically, this story happens after Reishin's Spy. In Reishin's spy, Reishin suspects Kijin of having an affair. At first glance this appears to contradict Reishin's belief (in this story) that Kijin "can't get it up with anyone else". But not really, because in Reishin's Spy, the particular act in question did not require Kijin to "get it up". ^_^